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For an entire lifetime
I thought I knew
How to spell "Love"*

    *Until I met Y-O-U.
To my beautiful, sweet Melanie.
Lost inside a clockwork
        Heart attack

        ‎     Waiting to happen
        ‎   Ticking and cracking
        ‎    The silence in half with a second's helping
        ‎           I was hungry and delving deeper into somnambulance
        ‎                      Gambling my waking minutes
        ‎       Away with a hazy resemblance of life
        ‎     The sharpest of minds couldn't cut it out
        ‎   This troubled route gets more fractured with each forced laughter
        ‎             Hours pass faster the faker my happiness becomes
        ‎                    I scrape by on a yearly basis as my days have gone numb
        ‎
Tempestuous pestilence of manic depressive tendencies invested in a message cocked and loaded as a centerpiece

           Unfold it, if you will,

   The beast lives in these pages
  While the people all went home to their own separate cages
Locks become phones that never ring
  No bars but still encasing, these cells are in our genes
  
Its a prison of DNA strands unlocked with a paper key*
    Held firm by *words written within
the world awaits to see
You aren't what you are born into. You can sculpt yourself to become whatever you want and achieve artistic freedom.
Inspiration strikes a sadness in my mind
Lightening fires of truth so bright I go blind
Wide awake yet dreaming of another time
Another place where things used to be fine
But in the back of my mind, where that inspiration strikes, I feel alive and alone in the sadness that overwhelms me at times, surrounded by the dream floating behind my eyes uncontrollably, bouncing off my mind getting ideas of time and space and distances between two places, satisfaction and depression, a thin line rests between my eyes, like a target, the bullseye is my soul and it's slowly disintegrating with every shot, look and insult fired my direction.
I'm losing control.
And my dreams are gaining ground, taking over and my reality is lost in the background.
My soul can no longer hear a sound.
I think I've died.
I've tried to come back around, telling myself it'll be alright.
But I lied.
In a thousand years,* will anyone remember you?

       Will people read about you on their brain implant computers and bring you up in casual conversation over whatever coffee flavor is popular a millenia from now?

      It seems like a stretch. Us humans operate on such a small scale, but we love to dress everything we do up with purpose and grandeur. These days its easier to sink to the bottomside of insignificance and pretend you run the show as you drown than to swim towards relevancy.

      
There's always time to do it later, right? We can wait... right?

          Just... not now.

      So many dreams and aspirations have broken open against the constant battering of those reschedulings and put-offs.  
                 *
Keep your dreams alive. Don't fall under the curse of the Not-now.
Stranger things have happened
The splitting of an atom led to all the Eves and Adams
We just keep climbing up this ladder
What happens when we reach the top of it
Does it matter?
Still, stranger things have happened
I hung myself with string theory gripped in madness
And visited the vast void dripped in blackness
Crippled past tense reminds us of what was
And how inevitable it is that everything gets crushed and
Deboned with time
My skeleton remains hesitant at 11:59
Still even stranger things have happened
I woke up as a lab rat with a hazmat and a gasmask
Phantom of the operating theater with the seats packed
Breathing in sterile air trying to feel the breeze
Strap my self into a gurney
To perform out of body surgery
I said I'd never turn the other cheek but
Stranger things have happened
Dragging my knuckles* on the sidewalk
      I find myself hoping for a *spark

     that would confirm my mechanical makeup
        Titanium and servos buried mere inches beneath faux flesh
        Scraping concrete

         *Friction, it would seem,
           is the only force powerful enough to reveal me to myself
So many boxes.
Of temporal treasures.
I pack them.
I wrap item after item.
To place in.
Box after box.
Of temporal treasures.
To be relocated.
To a new, temporal palace.
A smaller palace.
A humbler palace.
A palace where I will boldly confess...
"As for me and my house,
we will serve the Lord." (Joshua 24:15)

So many boxes.
Of temporal treasures.
Which cannot satisfy.
But leave the heart empty.
Box after brown box.
Small, medium, large.
To be relocated.
To a new, temporal palace.
A house for His glory.
For I am finished.
With setting my affections upon...
Box after box.
Of temporal treasures.
Which cannot satisfy.
But leave the heart empty.
I will seek my treasure in eternity.
In things above.
Which will never pass away.

So many boxes.
Of temporal treasures.
To be relocated.
To a new, temporal palace.
While awaiting me stands.
A mansion in glory.
"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys , and where thieves do not break in or steal; for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."--Matt. 6:19-21, Holy Bible.
Your eyes met mine and I swear my heart still hasn't recovered.
(g.h.) // I keep writing about you - 2:03AM
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