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446 · Apr 2021
rent free
pia Apr 2021
do me a favor
are you having trouble
finding the door?
tell me are you lost
was the exit not
worth finding anymore?

you've been sitting in my head
for what seems like an hour or two
was it at least comfortable?
I think the space in my mind
is big enough for you

were you walking in circles?
are there blisters on your feet?
honey, you've been running on my mind
for the thirty second time
on repeat

it's not that I don't want you here
you're always free to wander in my dreams
just know it hurts a different kind of way
when you think about someone you can't keep

and as much as I want to kick you out
this run down mind of mine
rid me of infatuation
let heartache be a sign
but why do I remain stubborn
still I let you stay
promising myself to
free this heart from you the next day

empty promises soon fade
maybe tomorrows turn into maybe nots
I let you make yourself at home
within this foolish heart you caught

by now you might be wondering
what am I to do?
the simple answer is nothing
but then again I haven't got a clue

who knows? maybe indifference isn't the ideal
what's a girl gotta do to make her wishes real?
Paying it no mind won't make it hurt any less
but don't worry
looking at you from afar is what I do best
443 · Dec 2014
Rebel
pia Dec 2014
it hurts when I have to smile just to keep the tears away
It hurts when "I love you" was just too hard to say
It hurts when you ask if I'm fine, and I answer, "Yeah, I'm doing well"
My mind says to stop caring, but what can I do? I'm a rebel.
439 · Oct 2017
sun
pia Oct 2017
sun
sun

from here the sun looked small
a yellow dot in the distance
so far yet its warmth seemed
to reach me as if it were a breath away
I loved the way it shone
my how beautifully did it shine
I wondered if it shined as bright
if I were close to it
the sun beckoned me to swim
in his golden rays
it shone brilliantly as I came closer
yet little did I know
as it shone
it also burned
it hurt
but my heart was too busy
admiring the sun
my eyes were to focused on etching its beauty in my mind
fearing I would forget it
if I looked away for
just a second
it was painful
loving you
but my did it feel so good
eventually
I had to leave you
burnt skin
a broken heart
it was an honor to
find out how much you shone
and how much it hurt to be burned
by you
my god
the sun looks small from here
doesn't it?
433 · Nov 2014
Don't let them see
pia Nov 2014
Keep your mask on
don't let them see
watch your scars
don't let them bleed
Keep a smile
don't let them know
your broken heart
don't let it show
432 · Oct 2014
I had enough
pia Oct 2014
I don't have perfect hair
I don't have a perfect face
I don't have a perfect mind
but in my heart, I have a lot to say

In the outside you may see a smile
Maybe you'll see a laugh
but somewhere deep inside
I've had enough

Who cares if I'm a nerd
who cares if I'm a geek
It's not my fault I was born this way
I apologize for being a freak

I'm not asking for that much
all I want is for you all to stop
stop telling me I'm worthless
I've really had enough...
430 · Oct 2014
In another life
pia Oct 2014
Maybe, in another life
fate will let us be
Maybe, in another life
it'll be just you and me
Maybe, in another life
we'll meet again
I hope in that life
we'll be more than just friends
You can't escape the friendzone, but you can always make a good poem about it. XD!!!
429 · Oct 2014
It's not a toy
pia Oct 2014
My heart isn't meant to be played with
it definitely isn't a toy
but if you want yours broken
give it to a boy
429 · Jul 2017
lbifd
pia Jul 2017
hold me together
as i come undone
i pretend that
these shrapnels of
you aren't digging
into my skin
we are hurting
we are broken
but we are one
we'll walk on faulty
bridges and lean on
crumbling walls but
i trust that you won't
break down
in the end the weight
of my broken pieces
were just too much for
you weren't they?
422 · Sep 2017
moment
pia Sep 2017
I let my heart
dance with yours
even for just
a moment
but I knew
this song wasn't
meant for us
422 · Oct 2014
Hearts break never bend
pia Oct 2014
No more words, no more lies
Let it go before it dies
Hear the words, hear the pain
the last of love ends in vain
Sweet in start, bitter in end
Hearts will break, never bend
413 · Apr 2017
III
pia Apr 2017
III
III

I got a dog, Charlie
just in case you were wondering
I named her after you

I read a book
you always wanted me to do that
It was your favorite
I didn't understand a word
but for you, Charlie
I breathed every single sentence

I learned how to cook
every time I do
I cook a meal for two
you would've yelled at me
told me I was wasting food

I would've kissed you
to shut you up

it wasn't planned but
I finished college

you never stopped talking about it
it was going to be amazing
you said

but you never got the chance to find out
so I did it for you

it would've been better
if I did it with you

i met this girl
she's so much like you
but so different
but no

I killed you
so why should I forget about you?
why should I replace you?
she'll never replace you

I forgave them
those people who hurt you
I did it for you
but it would have been better
if I did it with you

I never forgave myself though

I sometimes find myself
wondering if I could be with you up there
but you always said that life was amazing
and you never got a chance to find out

so I'll do it for you

I love you
I miss you
402 · Feb 2019
heart of mine
pia Feb 2019
this heart of mine
will not keep still
this fast pace rhythm
won't stop until
my lungs continue to
gasp for breath
until this soul wanders
to the arms of death
my love for you
shall never die
it shall go on
as I am alive
396 · Nov 2014
Conceal
pia Nov 2014
Mask the pain felt inside
Conceal the agony, try to hide
Walked a second, felt like a mile
died inside, fake a smile
388 · Oct 2014
I won't love you
pia Oct 2014
Someday you'll cry for me
like I've cried for you
Someday you'll want me
like I wanted you
Someday you'll need me
like I needed you
Someday you'll love me
But I won't love you
383 · Jun 2015
Church Haiku
pia Jun 2015
Sitting here in church
waiting for the mass to end
writing this haiku
And yes, I DID write this in church.
382 · Jul 2019
i wanted this
pia Jul 2019
its the eyes
its the face
its your smile
i cant erase
its your voice
its your touch
i never thought
it would hurt
this much
i got what i wanted
didn’t i?
this is what i wanted
right?
right?
there’s those eyes
they’re there again
there’s that face
i count to ten
1
2
3
it’s haunting me
4
5
6
i’m not over it
7
8
9
****
you were mine
and 10
and then?
it’s you
it’s still you
it’ll always be
you
381 · Jul 2017
a reason
pia Jul 2017
break
away
float
away
fly
into my
thoughts
swim in
my memories
and I'll
tell you
why you
can never
love
me
380 · Jun 2017
debris
pia Jun 2017
this debris
i cannot
give to
someone
expecting a
heart
378 · Oct 2014
I woke up
pia Oct 2014
He held my hand
and whispered in my ear
" I love you"
" I'll never let you go, my dear "
I can't believe what's happening
I can't believe my luck
He was about to lean forward
and then I woke up
378 · Jan 2015
Symphony of My Life
pia Jan 2015
The beats of sorrow,
the whisper of depression.
Sirens yelling,
hearts breaking.
An orchestra to DIE for,
conducted by fate himself.
Everybody come and see,
Behold, the Symphony of my Life.
Starring.....Me
374 · Feb 2015
Fears
pia Feb 2015
I saw your eyes
they were no longer focused on me
but fixed at another
I saw your mouth
I no longer owed your smiles
I saw your hands
they were held by someone else
these are the things I fear
for the boy who wasn't even mine to call
afraid he'll see someone else
when he never even saw me at all
373 · Oct 2014
You'll find THAT guy.
pia Oct 2014
Don't worry, someday you'll find a guy that'll ruin your lipstick not your mascara.
365 · Jul 2017
more
pia Jul 2017
why did I
settle for less
why did I
settle for
second best
when I knew
I'd be starving
when I knew
I'd be wanting
more
from
you
357 · Jul 2017
better
pia Jul 2017
I'll make
you feel
better
I'll make
things
better
use me
to feel
happy
354 · Mar 2015
More than I thought
pia Mar 2015
It hurts more than you think,
thinking of you
It hurts more than you think,
hearing your name
It hurts more than you think,
seeing you smile
It hurt more than I thought,
loving you...
354 · Jul 2019
Day 20
pia Jul 2019
missing you had been
like breathing to me
recently
thoughts of you
swarming my head
like flies to a moldy sandwich

my heart aches
when i remember your smile
my smile
we were so happy

my heart breaks
for the hundredth time
when i recall the way
you used to sing to me when
we had nothing better to do
i cheer you on
as you close your eyes
and belt out the melody
you weren’t the best singer
but the way i felt that night
tells me otherwise

my heart sinks and i
blink back the tears as
i hug the pillow close to my heart
i wished it was you,
but of course, i knew
that won’t happen
i close my eyes and
i try and
try and
try
to silence my regrets,
forget every moment
i spent loving you
losing you

but i don’t

i cling to the memories
even though they were
hurting me
i hold on
even though it was wrong
because it was the only
thing i had left of you

i hold on to you
even though i knew
you wouldn’t want me to

but that’s okay
this is okay

i’ll be okay
353 · Oct 2014
He'll never be mine [15w]
pia Oct 2014
I've liked the same guy for a long time, knowing that he'll never be mine
353 · Mar 2015
Humans
pia Mar 2015
Foolish we are
creatures of mind
Humans see the truth
but believe the lies
look at the dark
when the light shines bright
turn our backs on today
and hold on to yesterday with all our might
ignore the cure
and stroke the scars
Humans are we
how foolish we are
353 · Oct 2014
I don't miss you
pia Oct 2014
I don't miss you
I just miss the person I thought you were.
342 · Jul 2019
Please.
pia Jul 2019
my heart has arms outstretched
to something they cannot reach
my heart shouts in a language
i do not speak
it tosses and turns all day and night
it seems like it can’t keep still
it aches
it breaks
it made mistakes
its pain won’t stop until
you say my name
like you used to

look at me
like you used to

love me like
we didn’t break
each other yet

love me like
none of this ever
happened yet

love me like
we knew what we were
doing this time

love me so I won’t need
some ******* rhymes
to give my heart some peace
a release

please.
341 · Jul 2017
universe of us
pia Jul 2017
lips
hands
unfulfilled plans
miles of skin
places we've been
hair
eyes
all of the lies
we told
so we could hold
each other when
we fall apart
our hearts
are broken
and these words
never spoken
make this universe of us
332 · Aug 2017
everywhere
pia Aug 2017
after I burn everything you gave me
will you still be here?
when these pictures turn into ash
will I still hear my heart whispering your name?
if i force myself to forget every song you made me listen to
will I still hear you somewhere in the melody?  
if I gave away every single book you bought me
will my eyes stop watering every time I hear the title?
somehow
you are no where
yet I find you everywhere
no matter how many times i take a bath
i cant seem to rid myself of you
soap cannot erase what you left behind
im stuck with you
well
with the memory of you rather
tell me if its wrong to feel your lips against my skin
when im alone with my thoughts in public transport
tell me if its wrong to remember how you said you loved me
when Im standing in line to grab lunch
tell me if its wrong to miss you
because I do
but you’re not coming back
to make it stop
and I cant make it stop
324 · Oct 2014
L-O-V-E
pia Oct 2014
L-O-V-E....
Easy to spell
hard to define
and impossible to live without
321 · Oct 2014
See that girl?
pia Oct 2014
You see that girl? She looks so happy right? Telling jokes, smiling, having a great time and... Dying inside. She's hurt and tired. Tired of all the drama, tired of not being good enough, tired of life. But she doesn't want to look dramatic, weak and attention seeking. So she keeps it all inside. Acts like everything's perfect, but cries at night. So everybody think she's the happiest person they know. That she has no problems and her life is perfect. If only they knew the truth....
314 · Aug 2017
were
311 · Oct 2014
Don't fall
pia Oct 2014
My soul was dark
my heart was cold
" Do not love. "
my heart was told

My heart obeyed, it didn't love
it was numb from the stars above
I was shielded from the beauty of the world
a normal condition of a heartless girl

The feeling of affection, I despise
I speak without a hint of emotion in my eyes
for I believe that love is only for the weak
You will not receive what you seek

Here's my advice, don't fall in love at all
because you will literally fall
the pain when crash is unbearable, it's too much
Don't let a little feeling destroy you
Don't fall for a crush
303 · Oct 2015
:3
pia Oct 2015
:3
Something insignificant can be easily extinguished, yet from that insignificance can become something great.
297 · Nov 2014
It hurts
pia Nov 2014
It hurts that you don't notice
It hurts that you don't care
It hurts that you ignore me
Like I wasn't even there
It hurts that we're just friends
But my feelings only grew
It hurts to care so much
It hurts to love you
294 · Jan 2015
Love Yourself
pia Jan 2015
If you don't love yourself, you'll always be chasing people who don't love you either
-Mandy Hale
294 · Oct 2014
" I'm Fine "
pia Oct 2014
This is for the " I'm fine " girls
The girls whose hearts are actually breaking
The girls who smile and nod
The girls who are madly in love with a boy
The girls who blink back their tears
The girls who secretly cry themselves to sleep
The girls who listen to sad music alone

Hey, stay strong.    :)
Everything will be okay someday. In the meantime, smile and keep your head up.
293 · Oct 2014
Forget?
pia Oct 2014
How could I forget
when you gave me so much to remember?
289 · Jan 2015
A Serious Girl
pia Jan 2015
A serious girl, when she finds someone who calms her spirit and quiets her busy thoughts, will love you so fiercely, it will defy even her own logic and reasoning
288 · Oct 2015
:3
pia Oct 2015
:3
In books we find worlds we can't explore ourselves
286 · Oct 2014
Can't you see?
pia Oct 2014
When you told me we were just friends
My world came crashing down
for all the years we've been together
how come you haven't noticed until now

Like how I get butterflies in my stomach
whenever you are near
Like "Hi" is the only word from you that I need to hear

Can't you see how lost I get
when I stare into your eyes
or how I die inside
when you have to say goodbye
282 · Oct 2014
Eyes
pia Oct 2014
Look into my eyes and hear what I am saying
For my eyes speak louder than my mouth
279 · Nov 2014
You won't come back
pia Nov 2014
Miss your laugh. miss your smile
Miss your voice that makes life worthwhile
But now you're gone
my heart is cracked
Now no matter how much I cry
You won't come back
274 · Feb 2019
mcdonalds
pia Feb 2019
we were at McDonald's
and you only ordered fries
there weren't any stars
that night

you held my hand
like you always did
after a meal
your fingers were as cold
as the midnight breeze

weird

you were always warm
whenever we touched
no matter how cold it was

it was strange
your skin somehow felt foreign
it was as if we were
doing this for the first time

you were staring at me
I didn't notice
I was on my phone
your eyes felt different
looked different
I used to describe them as
deep
captivating
oceans
I could drown in
forever
but now they're just
blue
dull
eyes

weird

you were smiling at me
I didn't notice
your smile felt different
I used to describe it as
breathtaking  
beautiful
but now it's just
red lips and teeth

you were talking to me
I didn't notice
you were saying something
about a movie?
I wasn't listening
I used to love your stories
your voice used to breakthrough
my ears
straight to my heart
I used to describe it as
smooth
calming
soothing
but now it's just
noise

weird

you asked me what was wrong?
I didn't notice
I told you I was fine

we were at McDonalds
and you only ordered fries
there weren't any stars that night

you held my hand
and I held yours
god
help me tell her
I don't love her anymore
274 · Aug 2015
I See
pia Aug 2015
I don't see faces
But i see masks
I see ready answers
But no one asks
I see scars and bruises
Some knives on the back
I see all the holes and cracks
I see their cages and their walls
I see imperfection, flaws and all
I see terrible things you cant
I feels things you cant feel
I know things you think are fake
But my dear, they are awfully real
273 · Oct 2014
That much...
pia Oct 2014
This wasn't supposed to hurt that much :(
266 · Feb 2015
White walls
pia Feb 2015
White walls stand before me
the color of innocence
and insanity
Providing me with nightmares
that were once called memories
the screams are still there
it's all because of me
A perfect situation for someone who's
damaged mentally
patience, I wait for the white light to return
as I lie here on my own
White walls stand before me
I'm perfectly alone
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