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Dec 2016 · 597
Emerald thoughts
Avellaneda Lesli Dec 2016
You sickening ***** why do you procrastinate in happiness?
Why do you poison yourself with these emerald thoughts?
Why, you only see milk white thighs and slender legs
Plaguing your head with emeralds
Why you're not beautiful,
You're strange
You're the different destiny sought out from an ill fated heartache
You're the ***** used to forget the past
Slender beauty, silky hair
Flawless skin
Why, you're the night to daylight
With your dark untamed hair and marred skin
Your extra weight
Stupid *****
You're the gauze to the wound
And you will never be more
Because you're a damaged yet different creature among sparrows
You walked yourself into this
Because you loved
And that's the price
You're nothing but a rebound
Dec 2016 · 402
Growing
Avellaneda Lesli Dec 2016
Little did you know
You had so much
Coming your way, and so for everything to come together
It must first fall apart
And now I realize
That's its experience, it's the ups and downs in life, it's decisions
It's simply learning
Growing
It's wanting hard enough to try
Gaining from that experience
The strength and knowledge you didn't know
You've always had
To keep you going
Striving
And that's when you become who you are
When you make a choice, and that choice is to become
Awake
I'm a different person
Nov 2016 · 710
Suicide moon
Avellaneda Lesli Nov 2016
Stacking a thousand ladders over one another and piling dozens of chairs
You still cant touch the moon
You can only dream under it
But the view from up here is closer than before and farther from the ground
The air is colder up here
And you feel more free
And you are legitimately over those who walk
And you realize that the only reason you feel free is because you feel you have the choice.
The choice
To let go of these railings
And the realization that you are in control of your life
That nothing's holding you down there
That nothing's holding you up here
But the will to hold on to life
Or to let
Go
Oct 2016 · 933
I'm Hurting
Avellaneda Lesli Oct 2016
I'm hurting
I don't show it-I smile sunshines at you
I laugh but inside I'm hurting so bad
I look at your smiling face, hear your laughter, I smell your scent and imagine her doing the same and
I'm hurting
I hear your promises, your I love you's, your forevers and
I'm hurting
I know that once you looked at her the same way you look at me, that the things you do with me and the way you kiss me and by God
I'm hurting
Knowing you've discovered the unknown with her, that your writings and knowledge is from her, that at one point you gave her your heart so easily, that I'm just second
I'm hurting
that one day you can let go of me as easily as you let go of her, that one day you'll want to run back to her because she's given you more than I ever could
My insides being ripped apart, my throat shut, my eyes pouring
I'm hurting
Because second place still doesn't win
And that how I know I love you, although now I'm not even sure what love is
The risks we take in life are sometimes made without second thought. Although sometimes we don't know how far we have fallen because once we look up we've already hit rock bottom. And that's love
Sep 2016 · 743
Child of stone
Avellaneda Lesli Sep 2016
Eventually I became this child of Steel hard as a rock with no tender feel
I became immune to the blows to my head as the tips of my welts that slightly bled the pain it faded and my shell grew weak but as my mind grew stronger I became this freak he said he'll teach me wrong from right but my rage grew stronger so I stood his fight I held no fear by the state of my eyes I no longer felt fear but wanted him to die
What fueled me is hatred for the innocence he killed
Sep 2016 · 1.0k
My Rose
Avellaneda Lesli Sep 2016
You can't find a natural rose without thorns.
Because once you've kissed a rose the thorns will make you bleed.
It's up to you to find the ones worth bleeding for.
You bring me pain but God help me I can't let you go. You're intoxicating
Sep 2016 · 1.6k
Starburst
Avellaneda Lesli Sep 2016
As I opened my pack of starburst. I saw that I got a yellow one. Immediately I was upset because I was hoping to get a pink one. Then I realised that this mentality is polluting lots of people. Y'all sit here and want these pink starburst, but you overlook the yellow ones. So mainstream. Yeah the pink ones are good but the yellow ones are different. They have a little zing to them. I guess most people can't handle that. Don't stress over being a pink starburst. Embrace being a yellow or any other colour of starburst. You are different, and different is beautiful.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and in the most less looked places
Sep 2016 · 710
Life
Avellaneda Lesli Sep 2016
Days will pass, years will fly by, decades will follow suit. Tonight you'll look at the sky and realise that throughout all this time it hasn't changed. That under that same sky you've cried, laughed, loved, and lost. It's the same sky that you've fallen in love under, is the same sky that you've been broken under. And one day far away from today you'll look at the same sky and remember all you've lost, all you've gained, and all you've learned. That every star mapped across the sky is a memory. Like the scars mapped across your body. From learning to love freely to sharing that love. From conquering fears to all those tears. You'll remember all those who hurt, deceived, fractured, scarred and tormented you. And those who showed you once more what love is. And all those make memories. Every star is a reason why you are who you are today. Every insecurity, flinch, nightmare, and hesitation; every laugh, habit, dream, and lesson learned. But one night, you'll find that you've found that someone makes all those stars dim. Who has their own wounds but still chooses to heal yours. And that's how you know you've completed your sky. That's how you know you've found the best part of the night. Your moon.
I've lived a lot, and learned a lot. I've felt like giving up so many times but now finally I see the reason of what life's all about. I found my meaning...my love.
Sep 2016 · 1.2k
Liar
Avellaneda Lesli Sep 2016
You smiled at me
You held me close
You promised me, looking me in the eye
You took all I was
You made me trust you
You made me love you
And now that you're gone, leaving behind my heart in a thousand pieces
Which piece am I supposed to follow
When I'm told
Follow your heart
I've felt beside myself lately, even though he says he loves me I feel any time he could lie to me, because people say, "I love you" with all the honesty in their eyes and later break you...
Sep 2016 · 497
Human pain
Avellaneda Lesli Sep 2016
And humans enjoy pain. Because even when they are perfectly happy they always dig for what they don't want to find. First letting others tear you down, then you finish unconsciously tearing yourself down. Finally you're so unrealistically happy that you want to know all the negatives, Foolish human.

You want to remember error after error marring life. And knowing you can't turn back time you make yourself angry, you make yourself hurt with knowledge that even if you could-you wouldn't have changed a thing. Yet you smile that bittersweet smile as you look back. There's no voices, it's just you. Tearing yourself apart. Because that's what you've learned. That's what you do best.
Ignorant human

Why didn't you know? You're a meat coated skeleton made of stardust. Like thousands more. You aren't the only little human. There's more-there will always be more. Time cannot erase what it's shaped. Time cannot change another souls' will to make unforeseen mistakes. Mistakes that harm.
And you're marred. Marked by time. Marked by those mistakes. Aged.
You angry, insecure, foolish, ignorant, little human.

And even if you smile-Once more with this quaking pain you've brought on yourself. You chose this. And although all is forgiven and forgotten by those souls. You will always remember. You will alway regret. But you've been shaped-cannot be unshaped. You cannot turn back time. Once a raindrop falls it into the puddle it cannot come back out for as it fell time passed and the seconds aren't coming back.
So now you accept it, although it hurts you remember
Little idiotic human

And so now you have sunlight with shadows,
Nights with moonlight, happiness with agony, and life with death.
You're haunted. Filled with self hatred.
And you,
you're just a sick human who enjoys pain
The thoughts that run through my head as I lay in darkness

— The End —