All I hear from the outside are muffled sounds. There are cars honking and people chatting but I am too focused with the idea of you being here, of you making sounds while you play with your cat. So, let me rephrase that. I hear everything that’s happening outside but I choose to hear you in my mind.

Everything is foggy but I am not anywhere near dizzy. Everything is foggy. I can’t remember the place where I come from before all these. Everything is crumpled into a piece of paper where I let my heart bled before you happened to me. Everything seems to be scary with the loud people and beeps of vehicles. I won’t ever take on risking my life for anything except here, in this place where you and I exist. Maybe from now on I will be.

This place must be big to fit the furniture and stuff you have but with you and I inside it just seems to shrink into a size of a doll house. It couldn’t contain what we feel that I can hear your heart beating from a meter. I will just try my best to pretend I am not staring at you with my peripheral vision. I will pretend that I can’t see you gazing at me with those mellow-painted eyes. I will pretend that you can’t hear my heart beating all for you. If I surrender, and I submit, we could both get into trouble.

Don’t laugh. I know we both can see everything from here. The curtains are closed but we have eyes to see beyond. That’s how we found each other’s arms. That’s how we ended up here. I repeat. Don’t laugh for the curtains may be closed but we both know we have audiences waiting for us to end this show.

For now, you may laugh. We both may laugh with sugar on our tongues and words as our cape. I have just one last request of you. May you never get tired of seeing my light that you’ll choose to open the curtains and I promise you. I’ll never dim this light to give to another except you.

lost souls
and broken bones
couldn't go
without your toes

lost hearts
fragments apart
couldn't beat still
with you across

lost mind
and surreal dreams
crawling back
to where you are

i chose you
when you let go
and i held tighter
to how we were

you touched my palm with your fingertips
brushing your fingerprints along the lines of my future
making sure you would be there

you held out your hand to hold mine
but you held me with the tips of your fingers
and i wonder how you do it

because i couldnt even grasp for somebody's fingers
without using my palms
and i wonder how you do it

then i saw you held her hand with your palms touching
making sure your futures were aligned
brushing lines parallel to each other

i learned that we were perpendicular
meant to meet and meant to go separate ways
we were both lines

and she was your space

what's important
don't get to be written
they remain
inside the hands and veins
locked up tightly
flowing through the body

what's not
get to be recorded
like the numbers and days
of how this started and ended
with unnecessary details
from one generation to the next

notice how i didn't write your name?

the air was dry
as the land under these soles
and my hair was dry
as my head under this soul

the wind blew
drifting apart
turning into different directions
and i felt you everywhere

you were on my neck
calculating every line
that had formed
for i had looked down most of the time
and you told me to look up from that moment on

then i felt you on my face
tracing every pores that were open
closing them just like my eyes
for you made them cry while letting them dry

and i breathed you in
going through my lungs
knowing the blood that once picked you up
to put you in my heart

and there was stillness
no movement was made
ive kept you in my heart
and ive not breathed since then

as you blew across my face
through my soul and out my name
we were standing still
as the air from that day
you took off and did not stay

ive not breathed since then

How would you describe to your child
the difference of papers and pages
That one is used for numbers
and one is for letters

Give her a book instead

Let her open these pages, these papers
Let her discover that they are similar
and different in both ways

You use the other one for your eyes
and the other one for your hands

Let her feel every page
Let her see every paper
But let her see every page
and feel every paper

Let her wonder with curiosity
that she'd like to get more books
just to know their similarities and differences
Let these be her defenses
from boys who walk up to her

Let her know there are similarities and differences
to a boy and a man

That you use one for your eyes
and one for your hands
how you look for a boy
and touch a man
How you get swerved by his looks
and how you get moved by his actions
How one uses you for his own eyes
just to look at everyday
for display
for everybody to see that he got this kind of girl
with the sun in her eyes and moon in her mouth

And how one not uses you
but walks with you
and treats you like you're no ordinary girl
cause you're a woman
with flowers in her hair that grow overnight
and roads on her feet that take you everywhere

Remember these things

And let her feel every man
and see every boy
but let her see every man
and feel every boy

Remember all these things
there are similarities and differences

How one gives you numbers
to spend on material things
but never makes you happy

And how one gives you letters
combined to form words
He'll give them out to you
handed out with gift wrap on it

And how these numbers
provide needs for your body
and how these letters
give out needs for your soul

Remember these things

Like how I'm writing this out
with pages and papers
but this wouldn't have been done
without the pen above
and hands that wrote
these numbers of letters

So, honey
you may not need pages or papers
but you'll need a tongue and a soul
to speak this out to your child
who's still confused of how
pages and papers
come with similarities and differences
and soon she'll grow up
and know that even you, yourself
don't know how it came to be like this

So, you'll pick up a book
you'll feel its pages and papers
you'll see its papers and pages

with a pen in your hand

I was the dry land in need of your drops. The dark clouds above had my faith that sooner you'd be in my reach. As I felt the heavy blows of the wind, whispering to my ear that you'd be with me at that moment, I saw you fell from above.

I thought it was something you and I only knew of. It was something only the land and rain could understand. You were nothing but raindrops nourishing the dry land until you've poured hard devastating it. Then, you left without a word.

The sun rose then I remembered, nothing ever quite really touches.

I don't write about you anymore
I've found that I'm better off with just myself

I don't listen to your favorite songs anymore
I've learned that songs aren't supposed to make you sad

I don't think about you anymore
I've managed to take care of my own thoughts now

I don't talk about you anymore
I've spoken of things I'm just passionate about

You know I'm a pretty good liar
You know I'm a good pretender

'Cause I've spoken of you like you're all my dreams in one person
A living fantasy reminding me of daydreams and nightmares

'Cause I've thought about you ceaselessly night and day
You're hidden under every word I've read

'Cause every song I listen to has always been about you now
Haunting, screaming under my breaths

'Cause even if I can manage on my own
I still write about you

When we remove the flowery, decorative adjectives,
In every love songs we listen to,
There we’ll find that every lines the world gives,
It says the same thing,
Over and over again,
Like thunder whispering upon our ears,

“Love me,”
“Why can’t it be me?”
“I love you,”
“Do you feel the same way, too?”
“Please,”
“Choose me.”

Desperate as it sounds,
The truth really may punch you through your guts,
Seeping through your veins,
Letting the blood drip,
From your broken heart,
I want you to know you don’t have to do that.

You don’t have to plead,
On your knees,
Your palms down,
No, not like that,
Put your head up and say,
“It has always been me.”

I'd like to think that I don't know you
That most of your pieces are still hidden under your sleeves
That there are still lots of treasures I haven't seen in your heart
Because it's the only thing that is keeping me stay ---*mysteriousness.

You know you're in a total lost when you can't seem to put into words the thoughts that are hiding beneath you.

In the front of the computer, fingers on the keys, eyes on the screen, lips pursed, heavy breathing, yet it feels like you've just been paralyzed.

The reason behind this still lies a mystery for me.

Cause everyday it feels like I've been paralyzed yet I struggle to move, to move towards you even though there are no movements at all.

I like you today
then not tomorrow

You were my forever yesterday
He is my love in this hour

Green is my favorite color
Next week, in my eyes, it'll be sour

See, I'm this kind of person
Pleased with everybody
With no particular reason
Hates somebody
For the gaze he shots

In a few months
I'll surely come back
In your extended arms
That's where I want
To look up
At the stars

when you sleep there are instances
when you'll suddenly wake up
and you felt like you've fallen
on a building
on a floor
somewhere you're not even afraid of
yet now you're afraid
cause you knew
that an angel caught you
while you're falling
catching your breath
saving every cell in you
letting organs to function
but you know you're not worth it
you're just a bag of blood
so what was the angel thinking?
maybe she knows how it feels
falling on your sleep
falling for somebody
falling
falling

You're not a poetry
You're not anybody's story
You're my fantasy
SOMEONE PLEASE GIVE ME GOOD COMPANY

My silence is never a weakness
For it shows darkness
Dwelling inside me
I can no longer carry

It shuts my mouth
While I try to listen
But, darling, you are mistaken
There are thousands of thoughts
Living inside me

This silence is a sponge
Trying to absorb it all
How I wish it doesn't turn to grudge
For I'm afraid on how you'll end up crawling

Pardon me for not saying anything
But I can't keep up with your crap
Trash talking
Yelling

Just wait 'til I'm done
Let me be the one to have fun

How can I find
Something that just
Can happen by
An accident

It's not hard to look me straight in the eye
And say that I can't be your sky
But why does it look hard for you to say?
Do you feel the same way?

I hate you
You made my world turn blue
But I can't give any clue
Even a few
Of why I am sad like what's happening through
But still thank you
I've learned a lot new
To keep and value
And never to argue
But the most important thing is to always be true
Now, *********.

I'm staring out of nowhere
My eyes as heavy as the clouds in the sky
Wondering where is somewhere
Until my weightless eyes become cool and dry.

You see, I've got nobody
To sleep on days and wake up at nights are usual
This is not a tragedy
To fall in love is not an option, always a refusal

Insanity is what I'm good at
People call me crazy
I can never repel and attract
This place is getting hazy

I stare with blank stares
My mind is just empty
It's better than to glare
I still wait for serendipity

We're driven in a hot ***
It's just the world's twisted plot
Coincidence? I think not.

I feel like I'm just a dot
In this world's big, big riot
Please tell me I should have fought

I saw him walk passed through me
His feet was all I could see
Coincidence? It should be

But no, this was all planned
It was stitched on every strand
Put on each and everyone's hand

Coincidence? I think not
He saw me and I got caught
His eyes were cold, without thought

Believe me, that day,
I was shot
Coincidence? I think not.

I'm just nobody
What could I do?
Still trying to act silly
Whenever I see you

And now you have her
What could I do?
A fake smile is what I wear
Whenever I see you

Now you are avoiding me
What could I do?
You can't even look at me
Whenever I see you

What could I do?
The pain is always there
What could I do?
You don't even care

The moon and the sun
Together, they both run
At first, it was fun
But now they realized something must be done
Both holding their own respective guns
They say there must be only one
Stars watched cause they can do none
With what they're doing I am stunned
Watching them weighs a ton
They shouldn't stay like this for humans
I think they are in a trance
Shooting without any glance
For me, it's a kind of dance
That only the moon and the sun can do at once

When I feel like the world is falling
It's pieces crumbling
I held out a hand
Reach out the stars
And let them fall like grains of sand

But today
I feel like the grains of sand
Had turned into rocks of gray
I can't gather them
They're tied in bond

My heart is full
Pain is there, I know
I still try to act cool
And ,secretly, the constellations I've gathered
Rip me apart and all I feel is sorrow

When I see him
It's not butterflies I feel anymore
Fear is what it seems
Fear of losing
Losing what I don't have and for him
I'm a bore

She's the kind of girl you'll want to know
Happy, lively, she goes with the flow
But no, she's fragile from head to toe
She just never let anyone knows
Smiling, laughing, she is crazy
Frowning, crying, she is insane
In this kind of world, she feels dizzy
When will she find someone on the same plane?
The same craziness, same doubts, same interests,
The one who thinks she is the best
It's her other half
He who is on the same graph
A guy who'll fill his blank pages with ink
Someone who'll never leave even in one blink
"I'm perfectly fine" is her favorite line
Try to look for the other meaning behind
As you can see she is full of fear
Even around with her peers
Where can she find someone who'll be her soldier?
Someone who'll lend his two shoulders
Matured yet playful at the same time
Protector yet playmate who plays no game.
She is he
he is she
How can she find he?

I bumped my head with my own fist the other day
I don't know what was it but it was totally gay
I've been always the little girl who wants to play
Now I'm still this girl but with a lot to say
I saw him the other day
Believe me his eyes were full of sun's rays
He walked and made his way
He smiled and said 'hey,'
He was on my mind the whole day
I tried pushing it away
But he is like a sticky clay
One day I'll surely make him pay
I'll make him fall and stay
And then I'll be his day.

You're caught up in my oxygen
I need you here so I can breathe
Like the ink spilled out of my pen
That needs to write to be read

You're mixed up in my chemicals,
Addictive, needed by my nasals
Like the medicines I don't need
Still I take though I know I may bleed

You're the scent I want to inhale
You slowly get into my veins
Like a spell told in my tale
A king that in my heart always reigns

You're the sun forever shining
Needed by my skin ev'ryday
Like a bear I need whispering
"Be careful, you might get burned if you stay."

I might be your worst nightmare, dear
But to me you are my sweetest dream
With you I have nothing to fear
Though in the blood we might get to swim

A thousand miles won't be a problem
Just remember my name, It's enough
You're like a rose without any stem,
Still ****** when I hold in my arms

You're my oxygen needed by my lungs
If you'll be gone, then I'll be too
Like a song needed to be sang
Let me be your melody in everything you do.

You are my escapade,
You are my greatest fear,
You are my sweetest lie,
The one I can never have.

Dangerous as fire,
Soft and mild as water,
Hot like ice and snow,
Cold like scorching sun.

Tell me,
How can I stop this?
What can I do?
Where should I go?

Deep inside I know,
This can't be forever,
You'll come and go,
And everything will just fly.

I can't get enough,
Oh you can see it in my eyes,
I can feel it in your arms,
I know this won't last.

I don't know what's in you,
Maybe i'ts with your touch,
This is not enough,
I don't want this kind of love.

See, I'll catch you soon,
I'll be your other wing,
I'll take you to my adventure,
Let me be your another chapter.

Yes, I'm your escapade,
I'm your greatest myth,
I'm your sweetest fiction,
The one you always have.

Aren't you afraid of losing your sight?
Not being able to fight and see the light?
Like everything seems not right?
Forgetting that you have a might?

Aren't you afraid that someday you might can't hear?
What others say and others fear?
Not able to hear the voice of your dear?
It's like you're far but you're so near?

Aren't you afraid that you'll just wake up and know you can't speak?
That others see you like you're so weak?
Your feelings you can't leak?
Then because of it you just want to hide and seek?

It makes me feel weak just to think of it.
What more if I'm on those feet?
All I felt was conceit.
I've been blind for all those years.

Can't you see we are all lucky?
And for that reason we should be happy.
It's like we seem to forget what's really important.
And in the good things we do we're all reluctant.

Aren't you supposed to be glad?
Think of the things you have.
Think of other people and the things they never had.
See, they're still thankful simply 'cause they're alive.