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Eva Aug 2020
Dear Aurora,

Beautiful and sun-kissed

Warm and enchanting

Delicate and glossed

Mystically enticing

Dear Aurora

I could never thank you enough for splintering my sorrows away

Letting me rest for another day

You slowly happen

The entire world knows you,

Then

Many people start believing you are weak

And selfish

But dear Aurora,

I know you only too well

I have seen you rise up

And have seen how you fell

You are beauty full of sorrows

You are here today and gone tomorrow

You are healing

Aurora you are liberating

Dear Aurora

As you fly across the sky announcing a new sun

A gleam appears to me as a swift burn

It reminds me I am always apart from you

But you will always be a part of me

Dear Aurora

I love you.
Eva Jun 2020
Impossible love,
You were a thousand miles away
I was never meant to say
“Impossible love“,
When I look at you I see
All the weaknesses within me.
Eva Sep 2020
Despair
Despair
Despair
Coming into one or two pairs
I cry sometimes but I also wish I was alive
Does death really mean agony?
Isn’t it just another way to feel free?
A trainwreck
Despising the life that it has been given
And each time is worst than the other
Opening my eyes is a disaster
Crooked creeks and national rejoicedness
Happy and free
Free meaning not expensive
Why should I be free
When I am the only person I don’t aspire to be
I am crying I am dying I am laughing I am praying
Every single day
Starting to feel
Immortality
scrambled thoughts just like my eggs
Eva May 2023
Vulnerability
I guess it means vulnerability for you
I’m vulnerable for you
A softly blown and tender rose
Still bruised and battling
Without having seen her attacker attack her

If you remember him
You remember him
You remember him
If I remember him
He remembers me
He remembers me
I’ve got a message
And it’s not a bird bringing it to you
It’s not a friend
It’s not a song
It’s not put in a letter on a fancy paper
It’s brought to you in a stairway
And it’s screamed at the top of my lungs
Eva Aug 2020
All the smiles and the pain
All the laughs washed away with the rain
As our hopes dissipate
We are simply left empty
You and me

Now I’m stuck in the grey zone
Trying to rewrite my past
It’s such a difficult thing to be around you
But I’ll see it through
Hope I’ll see you through

I’ve tried to look into the future
I’ve tried to look past my failures
The future is so near
Don’t you give up
Oh the future is so very near, don’t you give up
Eva Feb 2022
I can’t say that you’ll be okay
But sticking around a little longer might change your days
If you do decide to stick around,
Don’t sit and wait to be found
Start climbing and believing
Start pushing then resting
Then go again
Peace of mind will find you there
Staying ready to receive it is always fair
Eva Dec 2020
Needed a friend
I wanted to be alone t(w)oo
I
Eva Feb 2022
I
I like to play with words
Yes sir
Playing with words
Just like people play with hearts within their hurts
What a shame it is to be lonely on this soft late winter night
I wish I had someone I could hold tight
Until then I’ll have me
By all means me
Means eye to eye with
I
No escaping other than embracing
I
Eva Feb 2022
And as the night whisks me away
I imagine your warm and cold embrace
The print of your hand lingering on all that I own and all that I don’t
My mind wanders on this Thursday night
I don’t know why I hurt so much
When the fantaisies were exactly what they were
But,
We had never met after all
Still, your persistent stare and piercing eyes will follow me through the night
And you will sing to me as the moon shines down
I lost you
Again
Eva Sep 2020
The days may die but the mission never ages
It is heavier than the world
So keep your light on
Eva Apr 2022
Hey
It has been a while
You grew skinnier and those dark eyes have fallen darker
I just wanted to let you know that
When outside there is a storm
Sitting next to the window
I whisper your name to the rain
Hoping it travels to your home
And you realize
You were my only warmth
All this time
Eva Jan 2021
I know who you were.
You were the moon
Who rocked the sun.
You were the foam
The blue colour of this sea that amazed you so infinitely.
You were just like a feather, put on the back of a pencil
You were a wing on the side of an airplane.
You are a distant memory.
You cannot be written
You are a breeze
You are a rhyme
You are a scream.
And when the storms wound up at your door,
You simply rose
Up.
Eva Sep 2020
A fool’s worst fear is the one of people understanding him
How many people in the world despise themselves?
How many pretend not to?
A fool’s brain doesn’t work the same as others do
Very obviously a fool’s brain is too close to a fool’s heart
And if you think love is a battlefield, now you must wonder how a fool must feel
Banging, screaming on doors and beds
Self loathing is apparently free in his head
Small oddities in this world, like you and me
Our fears have no name, like you and me
Voice cracks, tears fall, nose sniffles yet our mouths stay closed
Why’s that broken one?
Eva May 2023
I once met a girl
I took the girl in
Time passed
She refused to grow
I looked at the girl in the eyes and told her that she had three days to pack her bags and go
Zenzile looked up to the sky, held my stare then said
“No.”
We talked.
The next day, I wanted to cut down four trees,
She stopped me and said I should cut three instead of four,
“Hopefully, this time it will bring peace and justice for all these wars”
Then Zenzile told me she wished she had not despised herself all of these years
I asked her why, I was naive these days
She told me it was because she had already been tainted by the bitterness of others’ crops
They ate at every millimetre of her skin,
Inserted themselves into the deepest tissues of her heart
And slowly shattered her from within.
She told me she could not save her world nor the people inside.
I told her that oddly, she looked very calm.
We talked.
The next day, I had not heard Zenzile and her morning lullabies
I looked outside, long gone was the sunrise
Eva May 2023
I guess it doesn’t mean what it means when it was meant for you

For you I really could have tried
For you I’m willing
But is it too late?
Surely it is
The days go
The memories fade
Yet I think more and more of you
And who you are
And what you meant for my life
In my life you breathed essence
Making it impossible to forget
Knowing I was the ticking bomb
Hurts more than if you were to be a new enemy
You’re just silently in my heart
The days go
The pictures fade

You never got to know who I was
I never got to know who you were
I guess it doesn’t mean what it meant anymore
I guess it doesn’t mean what it used to mean when I was meant for you
Eva Jun 2020
Heart
Anesthetized heart
I’ll send you blue flowers
To wish you goodbye

Dark, somber heart
You’re only a child
Why are you already
letting me down

Outside, I will come and greet you
Say thank you
Heavy body for carrying me
all these years

Mind and soul
All weaknesses should go
I’ll become a hole
Will they hear better when I howl?

Caged and closed
Pent up emotions on the run
Thank you shoulders for carrying such weight

But
Thank you heart for carrying such warmth
Thank you for carrying so much pain.

— The End —