I've written one or two just for you.
A feeling turned thought.
Add it to the pool.
Chaos for a swim.
Cancerous muddy ink of mind.
Maimed and ugly - it's mine.


I have a thought that defines you so clearly.
Tighten all my vowels and trim the fat.
Only...
You've come back to me like this stray cat.
Your a thought unsatisfied unfulfilled unfinished.
I had chipped and chipped away.
You're unblemished.
Forever swirling in my ink.
Done with you never.
Is what I'm starting to think.

Its a snapshot time in motion.
This time period I had you.
You were mine with no jealousy.
This time that I had you.
You were crystalline and perfect.
Last time that I had you.
I never feared you'd be gone.
Always did i have you.
You were mine night and day
Always did I please you.
mine at nights.
the most did I satisfy you.
You gave in. To me.
The most did I care for you.
You were mine. Past tense.
I had you...

I've written your name and thought of your spirit on mine.
Now I'm not here I'm not anywhere.
Just an absence of you that continues on.

Like sleeping doesn't feel just alone but endlessly wrong.
I pounded my chest, psyched myself to feel strong.
But it all just comes back...
All I end up with are tears on the screen.

Just these Liquid Crystal Tears.

Just a graze I dodged a bullet.
Because you were fake really full of it.
You had me going
Feelings started showing.
But I saw the light, out like lickidy split.

I am more than you see.
You've only had a glance.
Take a step back listen and be patient.
Take another stance.
Hold on tight, worth while I'll make it.

I've been many different people.
Who I am today or tomorrow.
Loyal and raw more than the fetal.
Stay with me, if you want the sequel.

I am deeply shallow and at times reversed.
I have been happy.
The other side to my curse.

I've known people who have never known.
They've made up their mind.
An opinion that's never grown.

Do not fight them let it fall.
For they've never really peeked inside.
Not once, not at all.

Privy are those noble and deep.
Out of all of them.
Those connections I will keep.

My mind needs a rest.
Be silly with me for the moment.
I've been too serious, let me contest.

Gone in another mind.
As sure as time, i'll come back for you.
Let's see who we find.

2 days to remember your name.
I love that I'm over you and don't feel the pain I once scraped through.
The rough filings of my heart and jagged burrs.
The piece of me I knew as hers.
It's all mine to give yet to someone else.
This amazing me and love myself.

This night is cool.
Stark change from the heat of day.
The wind blowing hard.
Left and right.
Undecided like me.
Breeze soothing and calm.
I've let go, the noise of it all.
Trees thrashing with life.
Wind is soundless.
But through the trees it wisps.
Grass around my ankles.
Wind turned attention seekers.
They tickle furiously with motive.
Dispel all thought, motives and intent.
Leave it all behind and focus on myself.
The mosquito's have been kind.
Tonight they turned a blind eye.
Just this night the world has wanted me to see.
I'm connected to this earth and it won't let me displace.
Reminding me I've not gone.
Somewhere I was not meant.
This world is a strange place.
We're all only a little bent.

Why the **** do I still think about you.
You were horrible for me, to me.
Then you left. I should be yelling good riddens!

From the roof top like a man tempting to jump. I wish it were as easy as a push or a trip to get rid of you.
That smile, that torment that you let me with.
I wish logic and fortitude couldn't give in.
My mind plays games.
Living in a world where I could win.

I'm lying there in your arms.
Wrapped and tightly entwined.
Your soul reaching out to me.
Through those eyes they glimer.
In this light I've found beauty.
So perfect blue and green.
Mesmerized draw me in close.
We're in a bubble.
The sound of rain it's beautiful.
It intensifies now deadening.
A dead silence only rain.
Your open mouth.
Your lips move but that's all.
You say "I love you".
You meant it but you've meant it before.
Will this be the last time.
This must be love.
Nothing else exists.
This must be love.
In our bubble.

I build you up.
Give you the support your missing.
Rely on me to be your crutch.
I build you up.
In your time of need.
I became your rock.
I build you up.
so you can leave.
Why'd I do that.
I built you to hurt me.

I'm heavy on the backspace. Sometimes it's forever. The things I shouldn't write. Fe3l.

Goodbye to the friendships I need.
Goodbye to the relationships I craved.
Goodbye to the needless I've greaved.
Welcome me to the other side.

I know you so well.
And not at all.
You keep me at bay.
What's the point.
I've drowned off shore.
Everything you've told me.
Is it truth I'm left unsure.
Scrambled more twisted every day.
This bay you've placed me.
I fear I'll stay.

Collaborative closure causing contemplation of a committed connection.

My poems are not a poem.
They have no form or flow in 'em.
I've never been taught to write one.
These words are my thoughts undone.
True and honest to myself.
Perhaps they belong on the shelf.
Powerful and unstoppable.
A desk job is more probable.

The more you're gone, the more I think.
Has this time we spent together
Been for nothing
You gave up on me long before I saw it.
You played me for a fool.
You gave me nothing and still I adored it.
You've given me memories like nightmares.
Scared to give them grip of reality.
Don't lead in, they are figment.
But then how else do I explain this duality.
Memories so real I've reached to you in sorrow.
Memories so real I've lothed my tomorrow.
Realities mixed, blurred vision, which is real?
Loss, pain, emptiness and these words.
I never signed this deal.
What you have done to me.
Its all too surreal.

I've been writing.
I rarely ever stop.
These words are feelings that I had forgot.
Like ideas not recorded.
These poems I'll not be rewarded.

Thoughts of pain
Love and lust.
Take little comfort in me.
As I do not trust.

Myself I'm selfish.
Like you or the next.
Bleed out like this.
That will be the test.

I've gone round and round.
Felt the ups the downs.
But never guilty you've been found.

Take me a way from this.
Take me far into the abyss.
Where no mortal walks.
No demon flies.
We'll stay forever and attest the tides.

I used to think I had something someone wanted.
I was young innocent and not drunk.
I don't have power influence or even money for you honey.
Just this empty soul with no where to be but where I am