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Gelz Apr 2021
I keep thinking about you.
I keep on missing you.
Sometimes I get so **** scared that I thought I'll lose my mind.
I keep on reminding myself to forget you, though. Ironic isn't it? Remembering to forget.
But the hardest I try, the deeper I fall.

I keep on loving you.
I don't know why but my God, I do.

And I.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I keep pretending that I don't.
I love you so much, it hurts.
Jun 2020 · 265
I Don't Wanna Sleep Tonight
Gelz Jun 2020
I don't wanna sleep tonight.

You linger on my dreams almost every night.
You smile at me and you hold me tight.
But I don't wanna sleep tonight.

I don't wanna see you in my dreams;
Don't wanna long for your touch, for your smell; for you;
I dont wanna feel happy in a dream;
And wake up tomorrow morning feeling empty
    with a slight pain in my chest knowing that
         I'm back in my ******-up-little world.
i have been having dreams of him and it's making me feel happy but sad too
Apr 2020 · 717
A Not-So-Happy Story
Gelz Apr 2020
I once knew a boy, who fell in love with a girl
             who called her beautiful and
        smiled at the thought of her name.

I once knew a girl, who fell in love with a boy
             who wrote him poems
              and felt the very same.

But it became a struggle, and timing was wrong
    and love decided that they didn't belong.
Sep 2019 · 363
Just Met a Man
Gelz Sep 2019
Just met a man.
Every single thing about him is amazing or was I just under some spell?
Truly enchanting, he is, with the stories he had shared and I still remember the sound of his laugh that is music to my ears.
How endearing I find him. I'm still in awe and I'm running out of words to describe how endlessly fascinating he is.
Radiant smile is what my lips involuntarily form whenever I meet his eyes or hear the vibration of his voice or simply just the thought of him cross my mind.
One day, maybe, one day, he'll leave me, too, or maybe he'll choose me. But I thank the Heavens above that I've known this man whose name is somewhere along this poem.
Sep 2019 · 696
Hush
Gelz Sep 2019
I want to rip my name
              out of your throat  
You are not allowed
                  to speak it anymore.
Feb 2019 · 202
Fool
Gelz Feb 2019
Does he still love her?

She spent countless times daydreaming of them together,
Even at nights, he appears on her dreams,
Maybe it's a terrible habit to keep on holding on to their memories,
But **** was she terrified,
And oh was he madly in love... or used to.

So she asked him if he still loves her,
She closed her eyes and
My God, she was hoping...

Silent stares came and,
She  took a sharp breath and whispered,
"Spare me what you think,
and just tell me a lie".
I was a fool for thinking you still love me.
Feb 2019 · 161
Never Sure
Gelz Feb 2019
To be alone together just once again
      is something that is sure to happen sometime

                  And if my hands can't stay on the table
            if I find myself unable
                  to look away from staring in your eyes
                               and the colour of the sunrise
inside

I promise that I'll hold myself together
                    and act like this isn't killing me.
Never Sure by Mayday Parade
Feb 2019 · 465
when I die
Gelz Feb 2019
when I die
do come to my funeral
bring me a white rose
and place a pen on my casket

and if people ask who you were
tell them
"I'm the subject of her poems".
Feb 2019 · 379
Tragedy
Gelz Feb 2019
I think
    maybe Shakespeare
  did write our story.
Because darling right now,
our love is a tragedy.
May 2018 · 352
Bad Habits
Gelz May 2018
Some people smoke
And some people drink
It's a bad habit
They seem cannot quit

Some has a habit
Of bringing people down
While some just always
Make a frown

And me
My one bad habit
That I always do
Is I keep on loving you
May 2018 · 390
Lost
Gelz May 2018
Let's get lost on a road unknown
Spend every money, every coin
And fin'lly when there's nothing left
Baby let's walk on the way home
He said he wouldn't mind getting lost as long as we're together, so I wrote a poem for him.
May 2018 · 347
Can't
Gelz May 2018
Timing is a hell.

Let's just love each other

in the afterlife.
I dedicate this to E because we knew we love each other but we can't be together because timing is a hell of a thing.
Dec 2017 · 492
Remember to Forget
Gelz Dec 2017
I remember when we danced
In the night full of lights
You took me by the hand
And whispered a thank you
I didn't know why
Didn't know still

I remember our laughs
The shots, the bottles
I remember our goodbye
And that night the sky was crying
I remember it all
And now,
I have to remember to forget you.
Dec 2017 · 337
You're My New Home
Gelz Dec 2017
Take my hand
Let's go somewhere else
Just you and me
Let's play music of our favorite band
Watch the stars or sit by the sea
Let's drink bottles of cheap spirits
And exchange crazy, stupid stories
I wanna love again
Cause baby you feel like home
Dec 2017 · 318
Calamity
Gelz Dec 2017
I'll borrow words from all my favourite songs
From all my favourite poems
To write an ode for you

I just wanna sit and drink and talk with you
About the things I couldn't say before
Looking in your eyes under a thousand stars

Though I still can't believe
We both did some things
I don't even wanna think about

I know your eyes, don't lie to me
You know my heart, so tell me honestly
Did you ever really want this?

But I'll be okay, hell I'll be just fine
I really believe you were the greatest thing that ever happened to me

So take my heart
As you're leaving
I don't need it anymore
Dec 2017 · 378
Treachery
Gelz Dec 2017
Have you ever felt
that somehow you slept
at the wrong side of the bed
found out that you bled
like somebody had put a knife
to scar you for dear life?

Oh, pretty please tell me
how the hell baby
did you manage to put a smile
telling everything but the truth while
looking into my eyes
filling me with lies?

Your words are candies
your actions are disease
what I give you is affection
but you brought me affliction
darling, you sound so sweet
when you left me in a heartbeat.
Dec 2017 · 712
Why I Love Books
Gelz Dec 2017
Books have power over me
I somehow fathom its own beauty
It makes me feel so many at once
It’s like my heart is going to dance

I’ve been in so many different places
And met people of various shapes and sizes
I’ve done these things without leaving
My bedroom, here, I’m just sitting.

So if you ever see me reading
Don’t you dare go disturbing
I am a captive in this kingdom
Of print and paper with no ransom
Dec 2017 · 5.3k
Phone call
Gelz Dec 2017
Baby if you call me at 4 am,
Too sad to even say hello,
I will listen to your sadness,
Until you fall asleep.
May 2017 · 869
Kill And Bury
Gelz May 2017
It hurts when people look at you
Like you're a big mistake
They say there's nothing you can do
So you just cry and shake
They **** you with their judgments
And say you're a disappointment

But this is what I'll say to you
Don't let them change who you are
Let them underestimate you
Then show them just how wrong they are
Spread your wings and soar up high
Prove them that you can touch the sky

Let those who doubted you
Rue the day they belittled you
Shoot an arrow of kindness
Stab them with politeness
**** them with success
And bury them with a smile
May 2017 · 424
So Close But So Far Away
Gelz May 2017
I told you something today
You didn't hear it
Although you were just sitting beside me
You were on your phone busy
I looked at you
Sadness filled me
I realized
I miss the you that I knew
Gelz May 2017
Once upon a time,
there was a girl with beautiful scars,
she called herself nothing
because that was what she was
and that was what she feels
many times she wanted to run
to run so far from home
and never return
the walls that she built fell
she’s mad at herself, at her family
nothing special, nothing important
she’s hurting, her heart’s beating
no matter where she looks
it all seems so dark
she whispered to herself that
everything’s gonna be okay
but she can’t drown the demons
inside of her
they know how to swim
she’s crying, she’s hurting
she’s a grenade and she’ll explode
which will bring casualties
and damage to everyone
she holds her own hand
she gives herself a hug
and a slash on each ****** wrist
she wants to go so
she grabbed a chair and a rope
and hung herself to tears
she left a note that says
"maybe I'm better off dead".
Gelz May 2017
Many a time, I watch you from afar.
You’re a beautiful flower that I admire.
To me, you’re my sunshine, my only star.
But we can’t be together cause I’m a burning fire.

I stare at you as you dance in the breeze.
You caught me looking but you smile at me.
The moment is so wonderful, I want it to freeze.
You said you like my color, it makes you happy.

Day by day, we talk from a distance,
Sharing extraordinary stories of our own.
I know the fact, our difference is a hindrance.
But I came to realize my love for you has grown.

You told me you want to hold me, to feel my heat.
You have no idea that I’ve been dreaming of that, too.
But darling, we can’t, for once our bodies meet,
My flames will only destroy every piece of you.

I’m a scorching fire and you’re a lovely flower.
I will do you no good, I’ll just bring harm to you.
Maybe we are not really meant for each other.
So baby for your own good, even if it hurts, I’ll just leave you.

— The End —