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Jan 2015 · 1.2k
just a feeling
Dianna Jan 2015
most see me as if i were a dull and muddy pond
not worth looking at,
but if you actually were to look deeper
you would see that there are worlds
hidden within me
is it wrong for me to feel like i'm worth something every once in a while?
Dianna Nov 2014
please take me away
            to a place far from reality
i'm such a contradiction.....
Aug 2014 · 500
The thought of you
Dianna Aug 2014
Acidic,sour,pleasing both delightful and delish
draws me close,comforts me yet sends signals that brew deep from inside of me

why do you i feel you have disaffection towards my very being ?

why must you make me feel safe,muting all my fears and easing my inhibitions?

please tell me.... long will you leave me in the dark ?
Aug 2014 · 11.9k
Title wave
Dianna Aug 2014
your words wash over me,like crashing waves upon rocky shores
constantly haunting me night after night...
what is it that you want ?
nothing seem to make sense to me anymore and honesty in a different light it never
Aug 2014 · 537
Dianna Aug 2014
late in the night
when your mind isn't occupied
it's roaming free
brewing and simmering
starting to boil
before you know it
it's overflowing
spilling out,turning into ideals
memories and things
you never thought would happen
filling you like warm tea or
cocoa fills others up in the cold winter
what comes to mind ?
what brings tears to your eyes ?
or simply
fills you with joy ?
have been having writer's block so i am just writing to be writing,feels rather nice....
Aug 2014 · 2.6k
little dark cloud..
Dianna Aug 2014
oh little dark cloud that follows me everywhere i go
why rain heavy on me when i am already feeling very low?
is it not enough that on the inside i feel a mixture of humid and cold?

little dark cloud if you please
let me finally feel at peace.....
lighten up and let the sun break through and shine
it's warm rays down on me

little dark cloud full of sorrow and tears
Jul 2014 · 501
never wanted this
Dianna Jul 2014
Erase my mind
I do not want  these memories
I do not want to think

Rip out my heart
I do not want these feelings
I do not want to care

Burn my body*
until there is nothing left
I never wanted to exist

I never wanted to exist
I still don't

I never wanted
this feeling to feel
to be wanted

To be Free
to be
at peace with myself
more than ever

I never wanted
  to constantly be in conflict
*with myself
I know that I can never change this
All I can do is **** it up and try to learn how to cope with this
I'm so dead inside and yet somehow so very much alive
(old write )
Jun 2014 · 272
Dianna Jun 2014
I don't want it to end like this...
But I'm not sure about what to do
End me please or something,I dislike being sober......
Jun 2014 · 506
Dianna Jun 2014
you will always have a place in this hurting heart of mine*......
May 2014 · 1.9k
Dianna May 2014
.      .
    .          .
   ı'ṿє ѧʟẇѧʏṡ
ɞєєṅ ṭһѧṭ ȏԀԀ ẇѧʟʟғʟȏẇєя
ı ʟȏṿє ıṭ !
.      .
             .      .
I believe and wish  we should/could celebrate together our " weirdness"
Even if you don't think you're weird
You know just once come together
(The sick,the happy , the wallflowers, the odd mind , closeminds,openminds,simple,
complex,depressed,weirdos etc)
and actually enjoy each others company
I know it seems impossible to most
But it could happen
And I hope I live to see it
Apr 2014 · 743
I wouldn't mind
Dianna Apr 2014
                                       ­      were                               
                     ­          burn               

                              ­                                       &
                                                                ­                    scar
                                      ­                                  my  
                          ­                                                           cheeks
                                                                ­                       wouldn't
                                                        ­          mind
Apr 2014 · 978
Overwhelming desires
Dianna Apr 2014
                  ­          To
                        ­                         But
           ­                          &              
                                                          ­ In
                                                                ­        Majority
                                              ­                                          Of
                                                                ­                                          Confusing
                                          ­                                                              Hurtful
                                                       ­                                         Overly
                                                                ­              Happy
                                           ­                                &            
                                                                ­               Suicidal
                                       ­                                                   Thoughts
                                                     ­                    That
                                                          ­     Run
       ­                                                Mind
                                                                ­           Incessantly
                                                   ­                                           *Almost....
Let's face it ,I still don't know what i want exactly.
In a way I think I do have an ideal
and a mental image
sort of
Apr 2014 · 323
Dianna Apr 2014



isn't the main point of writing is to write
how YOU feel about ANYTHING
even if there are most
or few who don't agree
Apr 2014 · 338
Dianna Apr 2014
I've always wanted
to be that ( least likely) girl
that ends up rescuing the prince
Not the other way around
Apr 2014 · 302
"I'm Fine"
Dianna Apr 2014
that's what you always tell yourself....
and anyone who asks
when really you're not....
because really it seems like it's easier to lie...
saying "I'm fine"
when something is clearly wrong....
even when it's eating away at you,
tearing you apart
than it is to explain why you aren't.....
because really in your mind
you're thinking ,
who wants to listen to your problems....
who really cares?............
Apr 2014 · 1.0k
Dianna Apr 2014
Hold me close As I rest
my head on
your chest
falling asleep
While listening
to the beating rhythm
of your heart
Never let me
Apr 2014 · 327
Dianna Apr 2014
I find the minds of others
                                                 to be fascinating and so
                                                                ­               exceptionally wonderful

                                                              ­                                Because each
                                                                ­                     and every person I  meet
                          ­      Provides with a new perspective
                    In a way ,

      Lets me see

                   the world

                                    through              eye­s  
Mar 2014 · 1.9k
The ballerina
Dianna Mar 2014
I feel
as if I am
a broken doll
in need of

repair and parts
Waiting for someone
to wind me up

Look at the many stitches
of my body
that keeps me together

Am I not Beautiful ?

My parched lips
Each time I try to

just look at my rib cage
and boney arms

That reach for you
And my starving heart

this empty hole
in my chest
I keep covered 

That craves

Will you fix me ?
Or at least
Try To

Help me

Do I mean anything
to you ?
At all Or am I

Simply just

That's right
now that my music
has stop playing 

you toss me
back in to the box 
with the other
forgotten toys 

That have been
long gone

Where my loneliness
plagues me 

And I sit in tears

With these
hanging over me


Until you decide
to take me out
Dianna Mar 2014
Whenever i try sneaking a peek at you or a sideways glance
I see so much beauty
Hidden in those insecure and tired eyes
you see
I have fallen deeply in love with your flaws
your imperfections

whenever i hear you say, you hate hurts me

My Dear you are Imperfectly perfect*

I wish and hope with all of my heart and soul
that you'll see that one day

you are beautiful
**Inside & Out
Mar 2014 · 416
It hurts
Dianna Mar 2014
Kind of hurts
to feel as if you will never truly

have a best friend

Unless you're still with the one you come to know and both feel close
or somehow grew close to each other
Or grew up with one another

Watching people who just met on the spot become close
then just when you think it's going to happen to you
It doesn't
Instead someone else smoothly makes their way in
and take the person

Both laughing , talking
Next thing you know're forgotten......

than you have this void
This certain spot in your heart
That you can't seem to fill

no matter how hard you try

So you forget about it
Until you feel close to someone again
then realize and watch how close that person really is with another
Then you're just standing there

with this gut crushing feeling

that you're never to find someone like that
Mar 2014 · 314
Dianna Mar 2014
a mixture of tangled feelings
                     ­                           more or less

      i feel in my chest

                             makes me feel as if i had wings

ready to soar
                             ready to explore

                                                   like i am not even earthbound anymore

a tune brewing inside me
                               ­                            itching to get out

and burst out scenes

                                        of water colors

painting the sky

                               with wonders

                                                               ­  swirls of blues ,grays, and golds

feeling alive

like nothing can stop me
                                         ­                     dancing with the wind

as the words that appear in my mind
                                                            ­             come alive

                                                             keeping me company

while drinking up warm memories

                          &  eating up laughter


                       i wake up


             ­                                               and the music
                    blasting from

                                                               ­                                my earbuds

       just me
                                                   and my ipod
just wanted to write for fun ,
                                      felt good and i like it
                                                            nights like this i love so much
Feb 2014 · 1.1k
Dianna Feb 2014
I am afraid to take off this mask I wear....

           for the real me you'll see... is not pretty

stay away......please

  ­                                   *don't come any closer



                   you'll wish you hadn't

At least I think you would

                                it's better this way

if you never see....

              So forget about it

                                     And forget about me




                                                 ­                Be

          **nothing more.....than a distant memory
Feb 2014 · 680
In that late evening
Dianna Feb 2014
It 's the latter part of class,
people talking and laughing
All ,but him
little to no emotion was expressed,
screaming,crying,feeling overwhelmed
Like a caged creature,clawing,
desperate for its freedom
                                                         ­                                 Bell Rings
he snaps out of it for a minute
calmly rising from his seat,
making his way towards the buses
                                                           ­                         half-way home
it happens again,

masking what he felted                                        on the outside
                bus stops
before he noticed,
he was practically almost running off the bus
                            hurting so much
his chest tightens with every breath he takes
quickly he runs in to his grandparent's room,
grabbing the razor blade
isolating himself
staring at the unharmed flesh of his arm                  
                                           ­                              his mind being filled with      
                                                      ­                                    images of blood over
                                                                ­                                  flowing from his
                                                                ­                                                      wrist

as the blade met his skin,
                                 very little pain was felted
what started out as short & slow strokes
became fast,long & deeper cuts,
in that moment there was nothing he desire more
than to end it all
                                                             ­               but did not
placing the blade on the sink,
tracing the scars that ran up his arm,
                                                  he smiles
with tears flooding his eyes
it's around 12 at night,
wide awake and possessed by his thoughts,
finally tired,
falls asleep with the last thought
before closing his eyes to rest
                                                           *­i couldn't change even if i tried
sometimes i really dislike having to put a title on things,
                                          i would rather leave it blank and let others place a title
                                                                 on it , you know what i mean ??
Jan 2014 · 503
Dianna Jan 2014
Come to think of  it,
maybe I do like keeping to myself
                    Never really was good with socializing with others
Maybe I do like the tears that fall from my eyes
     And can sometimes taste
                when no one is around
Maybe....just maybe  I like that
I never really could attract others
                              and sometimes I'm both happy and sad about it
Maybe I like retreating to the library
                        where the "the faerie tales are my friends and I can escape  "reality"
Even if its just for a little while
Maybe I do like losing myself in the music
    where I sometimes find myself dancing with the music
Maybe these little gestures I do to show I care
                    are what I would like for someone else to do for and to me
I don't know
I'm sitting here
with a few of the thoughts that cross my mind
oh so many times
In a room filled with people
                  voices that overlap each other
              Pens tapping And Paper flying
With  me still thinking
Dec 2013 · 490
In My Dream
Dianna Dec 2013
The sun has settled
no light
shadows stretch
like endless fingers
left alone
with these thoughts
as they linger
   i take comfort
in this little light
that glimmers
these Music notes
that dance around me
smiling with delight,
as i take flight
      holding my hands in theirs,
Oh so very tight
As I listen to
this lullaby
as it comes alive
cradling me
my minds at peace
i wake at midnight
still in my dreams
singing and dancing
under this oak tree
all of a sudden
the wind picks up
i fall to my knees
with tears streaming  
coughing and choking
what's happening to me
while trying to breathe
searching and hoping
scared and asking
is this a nightmare
or my
Dec 2013 · 660
Dianna Dec 2013
Do I just wait it out, patiently
This feeling as it devours me whole,slowly
That comes and go, like the wind
That overcrowd my eyes with salty water ,
leaving me to believe...
That there's no escaping,
and no way to relieve,
this wound festering and gaping,
The agony and dolor that haunts me
I beg to differ and try to look at the positive side of things
like the memories and remains,
I endeavor solace
Finding and picking up these pieces I yearn  
From them I learn
and to my surprise,
in someway,somehow,
now ,
among the many questions that waits for  answers
along with the never ending curiosity and efforts,
I smile,
with the hope I hold and belief
Knowing someday and somewhere,
even if it does take a while
I'll find some relief
That little by little I will feel,
not the emptiness, or some never lasting thrill,
but the feeling of bliss,
something that i've longed for
and miss
Dec 2013 · 1.2k
In This Moment
Dianna Dec 2013
As our lips meet, my heart beats faster,
In This Moment
My mind ,filled with love and laughter,
My body quivers at the touch of your hands
A smile escapes my lips and expands
The thoughts that engulf my sense,
I cant explain,
but I do hope that you feel the same
In This Moment,
My feelings grow slightly stronger,
Deep in thought,
I hear a voice,
Telling me I can not fight it any longer,
I ask myself if what i'm feeling is real or is it just lust and lust alone,
one by one the rays of of light appears,
Clearing the fog that hinders me,
reveals my hearts desire,
In this moment
I see that it is more than just lust and infatuation,
but something more and I hope will last,
not collapse like those in the past
so I have here, my heart,
I give to you ,please try and take care of it,
for it is fragile and will fall apart
  as you nurture it with love and affection
ill do just the same without hesitation
will tend to yours with care and devotion
In This Moment
I make a decision,
with your hand in mine and mine in yours,
I dawdle no longer and venture forwards
less afraid this time...

— The End —