He's asleep and I feel like ****.
I can't seem to cry but I want to throw a fit.
I work in the morning and I hate my job.
All I want to do is lay in bed and sob.
I don't know if my parents' plane ever landed,
And sometimes I still feel like I've been abandoned.
I call myself an artist but I don't think that's true.
I don't really put work into anything I do.
I'm afraid I might be an imposter just following a fad.
I don't know anything about anything and I know that's bad.

I am Human.
My body sprawled out.
I am Human.
Close my eyes.
I am Human.
Feel each drop fall along curves.
I am Human.
Open my lids.
I am Human.
Inhale the condensation.
I am Human.
Lungs struggle; it's tolerable.
I am Human.
Watch the droplets on the curtain.
I am Human.
Colors change from blue to green.
I am Human.
Arms push up.
I am Human.
Legs stretch out.
I am Human.
Feet bend and toes curl.
I am Human.

what is it about mornings
you drag yourself
to the mirror
when your sub conscience
would rather drag you over hot coals
is it about the deniability ?
thats not me in there
its only in the safety of mornings
when your eyes have the look
of two cracked crystal glasses
bleeding red wine
when the mirror tells you
its never about the reflection
its always about the need
always

by the light of the moon he came upon her
her skin glistening in the moonlight
her dark eyes reflecting the stars
so beautiful was she, at the waters edge
watching the moon wave in the ripples
only noticing him when the heat of him grazed her
she saw his gentle eyes in his reflection
felt his heart as his lips brushed her ear
whispering only, "i am yours"
as their reflection became one with the moon

This poem has been submitted for possible publication.  It will be reposted as soon as possible upon final determination.  Please feel free to peruse my poesy at your leisure.

Thank you so much,
PrttyBrd

Empty rooms a glance into are futures lost conviction sweetest angel of the truest flaw may I glimpse the depth none other ever did care to see?
In shared vice words hollow held you as the scars we bare forgotten to only us none should ever have to view .

Where did the glow fade to corners of such darkness we simply died as the old to become jaded as we stand shattered the shards but fragments of the past I no longer care to reflect.

Lust of the moment a need and service nothing more.
We can give all to only share with  so few and in those moments perfection is the truth as ****** up as we are .

Lines I give the flesh you lend cold as the winters imprint over the mountains peak .
Escape the moments only to relive the misery's with every  emotional fix.

You cant go through hell not to show some scars will you embrace mine as I have yours my dear?

We together hold more stories than a asylums wall.
Yet still we stand only to part.
There's no escape from the memories even down the snake of the highway to the western sunsets reprise.

Guess we just have the now so **** the past it just get in the way.

We run a train so happily heading off the rails in shared addiction my dear how I thrive in the destruction my friends I shine no matter the name it's always me.

Her love was like the purest ****** deadly but so ******* alluring and uncut in it's seduction why run when we can walk into a self destructive mess together?

Miles pass we can't deny  it's  a habit like any other late night calls and midnight meetings this stays between us right?

We know the outcome yet like fools before we tread on ground and lies created by broken souls and now scorched earth.
So ******* right in the feeling in the wrong sense .
Claw marks don't leave a bruise but make me feel alive unlike him she speaks within confines of he darkened cab.

And in hell do we find the sanctuary none others can  provide .

Were all wrong just together within a storm shelter can provide comfort even in the pure ******* of false truths and empty lies .

And the broken hearts bleed all the same .

I wish you came with an instruction manual, because loving you makes no sense.

I take that back because even if you did it would probably be written in German.

I try to put together pieces and all I see is handle with care but when I reach out, your body language says "don't touch me there." Not physically, not emotionally, and when I try mentally you yell "get out of my brain." Even in the same atmosphere our breathing is not the same.

I cling to your exhale and forget that I need to inhale. I pray that you're alive not worried about my imminent death, because once again, loving you just doesn't make sense.

Maybe if you had come with subtitles, I could love you better. So that I could read what you say instead of hear it, since the two never seem to be the same.

You make me feel deaf. And that would be okay if only American Sign Language was enough to make you stay. Why can't you just say how you feel so I can feel what you say?

You drown me with complacency and get mad when I can't stay afloat.  You're screaming you can't handle this yet ask me why I'm walking towards the door.

We were supposed to be two beats, and one heart. I was supposed to love you right, but I don't know how..

You came with no instruction manual.

Loving you just doesn't make sense.

We are not light switches
Our relationship should not be off and on
If you want me
Let me know
If you do not want me
Let me know

And then..

And then he calls me baby,
As he places gently one hand along the right side of my waist
Pulling me into himself
Placing his forehead down upon mine so that he can look me directly into my eyes
Returning the stare with his big brown eyes
Letting me know that right now?
We're on.
Making me believe that this time, we might be on forever

And then..

And then he kisses me, and I’m sure
My body eases up from the tense stance I took in order to back up the seriousness in my voice, starting from my shoulders,
making it’s way down to my knees
I am weak
He knows what to do when we do what it do.

But in the morning...
He wakes up and he...
He doesn’t kiss me like he did the night before when he knew he was wrong, when he convinced me over and over that this time,
we were on

I roll over and let my feet dangle a few inches from the floor,
My body draped in the blanket that held last nights secrets and wasted tears...



The sun shines through the window and onto my skin

.
There's a certain darkness in the light it provides...

I feel it.
We're off again.