She doesn't love me.
He doesn't want to make love to me.
And I feel very, very lonely.

I fall in love with people that want to **** themselves.

And I'm afraid to die.

This one time I had friends,
It was cool, I guess.
I thought I found a soul mate
But she was a mess.
She over thought everything
She was always misunderstood.
I broke through her walls
And did everything I could.

This one time I had friends
You could say that it was neat.
I hung out with this artist girl
She was the coolest thing you'd meet.
She had all this potential
But her folks were really ****.
I tried my best to help
But I guess it was a miss.

This one time I had friends
It was almost kinda great.
This other girl I knew
Had to have been by fate.
Eyes as green as emeralds
She was always so much fun.
They say green stands for envy
I guess so, 'cause I was done.

This one time I had friends
I suppose it felt pretty good.
I tried to be the best
And show up when no one would.
She had poor self esteem
It started in her childhood.
We'd been friends for almost 16 years
That's probably longer than it should.

This one time I had friends
It was ******* awesome.
Then there was this tiny girl
And I should have used some caution.
She was the coolest girl I knew
I was addicted to her energy.
We were really close for a few short weeks
And then she up and left me...

This one time I had friends
And I guess it was okay.
I miss when they were 'round
I wish someone would stay.
I guess I'm not the type of person
Who was ment to have companions.
But I think I'd feel a whole lot better
If I weren't consistantly abandoned.

I want you to want me.
With raw, unweavering power, I want you to want me.
I want my scent, my voice, to dance whimsically into your senses.
I want my face, my body, to creep into your memories.
I want you to want me as if your very life is dependant upon my touch.
I want you to want me as if you were addicted to the taste of my lips.
I want you to want me in the way that I'm always wanting you.
I want you to want me in the way that I never stop thinking about you.
I want you to want me with a  passion that burns hotter than hellfire itself.
I want you to want me with needs more intense than the wind and rain that falls from the heavans.
I want you to want me.

Started off small.
The world in our hands.
Four years pass.
Like a camera flash.
Boyfriends, parties, now we're in my car.
Road trips, "I'm glad you're my friend".
You're unique and I'm consistent.
I understand you.
You appreciate me.
Soul-mates.
College, drinking, smoking.
I'm in your house with no one home.
Depression, obsession, times are changing.
You're drowning.
Your eyes are clouding.
I'm on the shoreline watching.
I'm throwing rocks like life preservers.
Waiting for you to catch one.
Blinded.
Undecided.
Sitting in the silence.
Waiting.

Sliver of silver moonlight beams.
From the other side of the  window gleams.
Shines so bright in this dark lit room.
But I cant get out of this awful gloom.
Heart aches and I feel it cracking.
But I cant think of reasons for it to be happening.
I hate myself and I'm so ******* sad.
I'm no good at anything and it makes me mad.
I cant make music, I'm an awful writer.
I have no degree so I'm impossible to hire.
I grew up never knowing what to do.
With no interests, talents, or will to give clue.
I'm stuck as an adult with what feels like no future.
I'm stuck in my head and I feel like a loser.
I don't know anything and I hate myself.
Wish there was a way to escape this hell.

I wish you would say every thought in your head
While you blissfully stay 'sleep in our bed.
I would stay awake the whole night through
Just so I could hear every word from you.
But you've been asleep for quite a few hours
And I've been having a breakdown that comes in showers.
I've been staying silent so I don't wake you up
But all I want is to be held and rubbed.
I love you so much and the future scares me
I know the road we're on is pretty bumpy.
I feel like when we talk I'm the only one speaking
I know saying what's on your mind isn't very easy.
So I wish you would say every thought in your head
While you blissfully stay 'sleep in our bed.
Then I could stay awake the whole night through
Just so I could hear every word from you.