i drew a map of my head
to sort out my thoughts
maybe if i could differentiate
the road of happiness
from the road of sadness
i would be more stable

And that's as close as any of us get
To touching happiness...
Contentness.

But it's never enough to satisfy us.
Only enough to make us miserable.

I remember when we sat on a park bench at night, and your head lay nestled in the hollow of my shoulder.
My arm circled around your waist, reaching to meet its twin’s wrist.
I looked at you, and you blushed, and told me that staring was rude.
I spelled ‘M-I-N-E’ in the space between your collarbones and your brow with kisses, and breathed words I never dared to speak.
You were flowers in May, the sea spray in July, and the cold wind of November.
I was obsessed, and I knew I would never be good enough.
Two days later, we broke up.
Every kiss since then has left me lonelier.

Hope
i see him sit across from me
with trouble in his eyes.
he questions why he did it.
wonders why he lives in lies.

a world of uncertainy is flooded to his mind.
his eyes reflect his troubled thoughts
and words of love unsaid.

memories flow to the front of my mind
tears are brought to my eyes.
so long its been, that you've been gone
but i keep feeling it over and over again.

I know inside i love you.
always have and always will.
a part of me hopes that someday soon
you'll come up to me and tell me, all the things i hope for.

but for now i wait, in this chair across from you.
catching you staring at me, feeling your eyes study my face.
your looking for an answer
a thought you can embrace.

but nothing can replace this
this feeling called love
i will live forever in your mind
you won't ever forget me
i'll be in your memory
for all eternity

and i sit across from you
hoping that you'll give
give into what i know you feel
tough feelings that you cope
i'd give anything to have you back with me
but for now, all i can do
is hope.

because it's the only thing keeping me from losing my ****
because the nicotine high is better than hitting a wall
and it's all i've got to temporarily keep my grip
it's always life and you tend to think so hard about it all and your mind is constantly moving
amongst the cigarette smoke
intertwined in the heavy gray
you inhale ****** up
you exhale okay
it's a circle of death they say

man does death feel soothing

i am not in love,
nor am i out of love, just
stuck in the middle.

That little pink lunch box
Looks empty
Sitting on the shelf
But it's not
It hurts me to look into it
Because it is still packed full
With my love
My heart
Dreams and aspirations
That were gently laid
Into it everyday
Packaged in neatly
So they would all fit
I think of those little hands
That carried it everyday
That carried everything
Packed into it
And it melts my heart
It makes me wonder
Why I even opened it
God, I miss her in the mornings