Fear is the tingling in my toes
This type of energy flows and flows

I’m so glad I stayed in the land of the living
I know it’s just the fact that
I said I wanted to die
But really I just wanted to feel alive
And go outside
I play with my inner child
We have such a good time
It tells me the time is nigh
I need to make a decision today
Or risk losing my mind
I take a chance at everything
I could take in
I take in my fate
You’re a breath of fresh air to those who know what it takes
To do the **** we all hate
And to do it sober
I don’t care
You can call red rover
Tell him he can’t come over
Because you only get one shot
To make your dreams come true
I wish you believed in me
Instead you think I’m crazy
You have no idea what it’s like to live this way
All the **** that you say
That **** doesn’t just go away

I need a break
For god’s sake
Give me a steak
Or lobster on a plate
Wanna feel elated
These necklaces are
Gold plated

******
Let’s search the next chorus
For a line that is wise
If it is, they say it twice
Or trice
No one tries to be nice
I don’t understand these guys

Our love is like winter flies
Hopefully winter flies by
Because I feel your lies
They settle on my skin
Searing my flesh
Akin to being set
On
Fire

Patterns are like chains
I can’t break free
Or at least that’s the way
It seems to me

I’m a creepy girl
**** the world
I give you a strange feeling
You can’t describe
Is it yours or mine
It’s getting close to my bedtime

That’s the thing about digging holes
You don’t know how deep you’ve dug
Until you’re staring at the stars so far away

Why do we spend our time obsessively checking the number of followers we have?
Let’s take a stab at the facts
Why do you care if they follow you back?
When you lay your head down, you’re sad on your own in bed
You can’t stop thinking about what those haters said
You better get that **** knocked out of your head
Maybe pick up a book or go outside instead

I can’t sleep
Thoughts of you
Fill my mind
Travel down my spine

There are too many people out there who will take advantage of our kindness
We won’t settle down until we meet someone who calls us “your highness”
They’ll know what it takes
They’ll calm the lakes behind our eyes
Never blame you for the times that you cry
We won’t have to be high to have a good time
These are lessons we all learn
For some of us, it’s a slow churn

I stay close to the words you say
I still never let them ruin my days

Your silence slices me open
I roll the dice
I want to see tears in your eyes
Instead you just stay quiet
I just wanna reach those
Who have spent their entire life
feeling like they are nobody to anybody
Did you feel the edge of a knife
Pressed to your skin
while your friends
search for their excuses
in their expensive purses
They curve you
Like a teacher who just got laid
Curves your grade
Yeah, I have a lot more words to say
& they say they are pressed for time
Well I’m telling you,
tongues are heavy
because I've held mine
long enough
For the time being
I know I’m not enough
So for now, I'm going to stuff it
and just shut up

Your welcome is a smile
Held by your cheeks
Teeth longing to chatter
A tongue willing to speak

When I got sick, I thought my life was over
I remember picturing myself walking through the woods
Noose in hand; while the doctor was talking
My demons do nothing less than stalk me
Everyone in my life mocks me
They walk on eggshells
Because I have no tale-tell sign of impending explosion
No canary in the mine of my mind
I should hide my face more often when I cry; Because I’m an ugly crier
I love deep fried anything
You hate it when I sing
Cause I’m off-key
But I have a lot to say

Everyday feels like I’m being strangled
Forced to look at life from different angles
Hang a left up ahead
Dangle from every roof top’s ledge

I can’t sing the number
But I’ll sit next to you
You look stiff as lumber
We let them belt it out
I don’t have perfect pitch
You always do, to me
If I let you take out my stitches
Eyes are pointed at me
I’m humiliated
It’s humiliating
You can’t save me
Why do you even try?
You say you need me
Move on to the next lie
I’m just trying to survive

You didn’t even bring your bible
All you’re capable of is watching cable
They feed you lies
Eat your burgers
Order your fries
Don't know you’re a cannibal?
A base-less, soulest animal
What more do you want to know?
I’ll show you
How far the rabbit hole goes
Just look at your label
I wear mine
Your is designer
Mine is my design
You never paid the price
Of the words on your jealous noses
You took the name
I chewed it up
I spit it out
In the face of every nameless, faceless stranger I pass by
You sip your coffee
I type promises of love
I taught myself the meaning of the word
I spent all my free-time reading the dictionary of your heart

How do you write my thoughts on your piece of paper?
I realize you’re reading my mind in the future
I wanna see my heart evolve from the cataclysm of emotion and love
But my emotional heart doesn’t exist
It has yet been replaced by cement
My blood doesn’t flow like it used to
It floods my thoughts

After death, no resurrection
A statement you recanted
The damage has been done
Faith is a loaded gun
A finicky one

I sat and watched the water drain
It reminded me again
Of a time when I was frail
My soul was on fire
Not for lack of trying to make a decision
I’m listening to your disses
And something’s ******* me off
We fought and we fought
I catch wind of a lot
Of indiscretion
Oh it was less than desirable
Because I stoke the fire
I stole what made you admire me
Oh distancing myself from you
And more into another direction
Something is still keeping me here
Listen my dear,
It’s not me, it’s you

I can’t hear the noise
Sometimes it’s just static
My brain is chaotic
How I long for an interest
My poetry is unlike theirs
I pull out all of my hairs
To make a decision
To go there
I’m in despair

Why can’t you give me the same attention I give you?
How is a cellphone more important, a nap more important?
I just want to go back to being myself before I met you.
I liked that person.
That person had ideas, dreams and goals.
You took them over.

I can’t hear your words anymore
Raining on deaf ears
Refraining from saying
Things that should be screamed
Insights inside your mind
So far away from modern day times
Removed are such lines
While I formulate an equation
And step out of the light
Hopefully it will turn out

Happiness is invasive
Search for an eraser
I am a mistake maker
I’m a fixer upper
You should paint my shutters
I shutter myself
And have a stutter
I’m aloof
Like you used to be
Before you stopped seeing me
Completely
Now I’m sleepy
And I lie my head on my pillow
Lots of things to consider
Possibilities hot like cinders

I still have hope for humanity
It was inspired through insanity
I dug my feet in the sand
I looked around
All I saw was foreign Land
all I did was gaze down
in that crazy place
but it was misplaced
like glaze on a wedding cake
Insanity is the reason we have hope
It’s the only way
We can truly escape
To our childhood playplace
We recreate our delusions
on silver screens

I’ve gotta find a way
To forget about the words
They fell out of your mouth
Now I’m shouting out
You’re so wrong about me
When you’re sipping your tea
You think you’re so much better
You can’t predict the weather
you tell me to wear a sweater
but I'm not cold
I break all the standard molds
I'm made of gold
I'm not sold
on your lies
they are covered in flies
and maggots