In the beginning of my first heartbreak it shattered into a million pieces. I laid in it for awhile before wanting to put it back together because I was numb and depressed for a good minute but then, piece by piece I started taping it back together taking my time with it not leaving any piece behind. When it was put back together it didn’t glow for awhile…months…years until I got a small glow from someone and then it stopped and then it eventually glowed again and then eventually stopped… and then it glowed somewhat brighter and stayed light for a couple months and then…it stopped and some pieces shattered. I began to fix it putting the small piece back in place hoping it would glow..praying it would light up for who I want or who I needed in someone…and then it did it glowed super ******* bright it started to heal itself in a way that I wasn’t used to it was uncomfortable and scary but it stayed glowing for weeks that lead to months that lead to a year and another year and then another year…and then it shined a bit brighter it was uncomfortable I didn’t mention there was a cage before when I picked up the pieces to my heart the first time… my heart was glowing inside of the cage shining brighter and brighter like when you look at a sun and you squint…it was that bright…the cages began to melt away and it stayed lit for those weeks, months, and years…it was ready to share a heart a small one so it can shine brighter…it was ready to say yes a million times over and over…it was happy…and then it stopped…it didn’t dim like when you turn those lights off to make it the right light just for you no it cut off…and it exploded the pieces are even tiny this time the pieces you can’t even see the outline to even attempt to put it together… this time is different…this time it doesn’t wanna be fix it wants to lay in the destruction…it wants to decay. This is my heart.

TW

If I wrote the way I thought I would run out of paper. I know it would be a disaster cause my thoughts are drastic I unintentionally cut myself that’s my bad habit but it helps —in that moment I don’t feel no pain I don’t think about anything but when it’s over that’s when it hits.

I give too much of myself away and end up not having enough left.
What do I need to do so you can see me? So you can understand how much this hurts me.
I’m just one of those people who feel too much and love too much.
I’m one of those who just can’t seem to let go when I know I have too and my only reasoning of not letting go is because I love you too much to do so.
But what about me? What about what I need out of this?
I’m fighting for a love that probably never really belong to me—was it temporary? Am I only good for temporary things?
Do I make you feel—anything?

Never was shown true love.
Never knew what actual love felt like.
Never knew what it felt like to be loved
With no boundaries.
Without limitations.
With no requirements.

My mind needs to be worshipped just as much as my body.

You have a good woman
Who did any and everything
For you.
It’s such a waste of her time.
It’s such a waste of her effort.
I couldn’t see before but I understand
Why you don’t deserve her.

Lately I’ve been really thinking. How can we love someone unconditionally but can never apply that unconditional love for ourselves? We need that love too. I wanna love me to the moon and back. I wanna be comfortable with loving myself to the fullest.

Time is a precious thing. So while we are here now while we still have time. I’m getting on my knees begging for you to be mine.

Let me ask you something
Do you have the capacity
To love me?
Do you have the will to
Love me the way I need
To be loved?
If I give you all of me
Will you take it and hold on
To it as if it was the last
Thing you needed on earth?
When I feel like the world is
Against me and life gets
Way too hard and I feel
Like I’m on the verge of
Giving up will you still
Love me? Will you still choose
Me? Are you able to love me
Ruthlessly? Are you able to
Love me unconditionally?
If you see me deeply reaching
Out for you will you reach back?
Feel like my love may be too deep
For you I can love without hesitation
I’m thinking these questions because
I’m Looking at you and I can see the hesitation

Take good care of my heart
Protect it
Nurture it
Love it

Understand that silence is actually loud.

Can you tell?
That I’m going
A mile and
You aren’t even
Budging an inch.
Can you tell?
That I’m trying
For the sake
Of us.
Can you tell?
I’m putting in
Effort to keep
Us alive.
Can you tell?
I’m slowly giving
Up cause it
Isn’t the same
Anymore.
Can you tell?

I know how things are
I’m just trying to breathe
I’m not trying to hurt you baby
I’m just trying to see
If you truly love me
You’ll get down on your knees
And please me the way that I like to be please
The way you gripping me I can’t even think
I get wet easily just by you touching me
And the way you holding me
I still can’t even think
I can’t even speak
Your touch is engraved in every part of me
From my head to my feet
I really love what you doing to me
So I’ll get down on my knees
And please you the way you please me
Let it out and just breathe

You savored your solitude because it’s much healthier and better then giving someone your entire all just for them to not reciprocate and by doing this doesn’t make you antisocial your protecting your heart after all you know your heart better than anyone why allow your heart to be torn and ripped into shreds when in all you could have just enjoyed your peace of knowing that know one deserves a love from a woman who has giving her all to a man/ or woman and all they’ve done was taken her love and heart for granted

My type of love Is the type of love that's rare.
My type of love Is the type of love that's unexplainable.
My type of love Is the type of love that'll leave you breathless.
My type of love Is the type of love thinking of me thinking of you type love.
My type of love is the type of love that will have you wondering if I'm dreaming about us being in love type love.
My type of love is the type of love that'll make you feel good inside only difference is this type love is so much real.
My type of love is the type of love that when you close your eyes and imagine this type love it makes your toes curl.
My type of love Is the type of love were you'll never forget how much I love you type love.
My type of love Is the type of love where we spend hours on the phone not saying anything but enjoying the sound of each other's breathing.
My type of love Is the type of love where even though you be playing 2k not paying me no mind I'll be your personal cheerleader cheering you on type love.
My type of love Is the type of love that will seem to good to be true.
My type of love Is the type of love that'll make me serve you breakfast in bed.
My type of love Is the type of love that will caress your body gently and make love to you.
My type of love Is the type of love that will motivate you to succeed no matter what obstacles come your way because you got this.
My type of love Is the type of love where you'll pick me up and put me on the kitchen table and show me how much you want me type love.
—————Tierramarie