All my blessings are a curse,
and my curses are a blessing.
.

My blood boils
when I look at them.
I would gladly cut my arms
to burn their faces
with my boiling blood.

Nothing I have to be proud,
Sixteen candles, and one falls down
Sixteen dresses in that closet
I'm turning into one now.
Worn out,
Because I grew out,
I WILL shout
till I'm thrown
out.

God, I am no angel.
I'm crying blood
and bleeding tears
So why was I sent here?

The only angel I might be
is the angel of death
Everything I touch
takes its last breath

I have wings, indeed
but they are not vast
enough to shelter
all of humanity

So even when I go,
and leave demons behind,
I would not be a fallen angel.
Because did I even rise?

Even when I go,
just know there are
a million, trillion
angels still by your side.

But who'll protect you like I did?
I promise, that if from above,
I see your wings break,
I would surely fall... again.

Stay away, honey.
For behind the rustling trees,
Something terrifying lurks.
It won't let you breathe,
It won't let you run.
The leaves will whisper,
Your ears will burn.
Your heart will shatter,
Your mind goes numb.

You will start to believe,
The whispers as true.
When the animals,
Eventually chime in too.
You will try to run.
You will try to scream.
But it's all inside your head,
And won't stop till you bleed.
Bleed to your death.
Lay on your death bed.

But you'll still be alive.
Because the death is in your mind.
Finally, you'll break free.
Run as fast as you can.
But a hand will emerge from behind the tree,
And pull you in again.
Back to the madness,
Back to he vain.
You sit there helpless.
You can never flee again.

It's not you,
It's magic.
It's not me,
It's your face.
Break up,
then break down.
Stab yourself ,
And then frown.

I don't want to be cared about,
I want to care about someone.
To rip my soul apart for someone.
But it's like my heart wasn't made to care.
And people weren't made to be cared about.

Why did you pick death over me?
Was she prettier?
Was she smarter?
Did she treat you better?

So much better
that you won't ever
come back to me?

They say focus on yourself
but whenever you will,
They will grab your head
And turn it around.
They may turn you back
And then stab you there.
And if you resist,
They'll grab your neck
And make it snap.

After thorough calculations there
are two possible outcomes of
arguing with my family:

Either one day the arguments will end patriarchy,
or one day the arguments will end me.

I kept them aside to light my cigarette.
With sparks, smokes and mirrors,
My feelings were gone.

I  bent down and checked under my bed.
Only saw monsters frown and,
Now my dreams are gone.

I told the warlocks they were a souvenir,
That I had tried to always keep them near,
But now I wonder if they were ever here.

And now the magic is gone.

Dear God,
I don't want you to fix me.
I want you to help me.
So that others don't try to fix me.

Some people like to
break themselves
like I broke
this
sentence,
.
for their fantasy of
meeting someone
who will
fix
them.
.
But you won't need
fixing at all if
you don't
break
yourself.
.
Why do you need
your other half
if you are a
whole
yourself?
.
Broken is not beautiful
unless you are rules
or spaghetti.
Tape
yourself.
.
An d I'll b .e
her e tap
ing th.es e sent
enc ,es.
.

Some people like to
break themselves
like I broke
this
sentence,
for their fantasy of
meeting someone
who will
fix
them.
But you won't need
fixing at all if
you don't
break
yourself.
Why do you need
your other half
if you are a
whole
yourself?
Broken is not beautiful
unless you are rules
or spaghetti.
Tape
yourself.
An d I'll b .e
her e tap
ing th.es e sent
enc ,es.

Life is God throwing me
a surprise birthday party,
being a terrible host,
and forcing me to come.

Life is a party,
people go and come.
But you're dancing with a stranger,
so you can never find the One.

Life has an after party,
with twice the anxiety
But they say it's called 'Heaven' for me,
and 'Hell' for some?

There is magic in your mind
And stardust in your heart
O won't you let them both collide?
Won't you
let them both
collide?

There is serenity in your smile
And black-holes in your eyes
O won't you stand and rule the skies?
Won't you
stand and rule
the skies?

There is victory over their lies
And invisible listeners for your cries
O won't you let your fears die?
Won't you
let your fears
die?

You were made to reach the heights
With your allies, you'll rise
O won't you grow your wings and fly?
Won't you
grow your wings
and fly?

I want to witness that collision
I want to see the ruler of the skies
I want to see the graves of those fears
I want to see that elevated flight
I just hope that you are fine

Even if you're not mine
Even if you're not mine

They say opposites attract.
The opposites that I regret.
She wanted to leave but I wanted her to stay.
Spent the nights alone but she made my day.
I stayed calm while hearing her shouts.
I had full trust but she still had her doubts.
I wanted her to stay but she wanted to leave.
I was filled with love but she was filled with deceive.
They say opposites attract.
Now I can’t get her back.
I stayed quiet but she had a lot to say.
Late night conversations after a single “Hey!”
I was shy but she carried clout.
I stayed quiet but she was loud.
She went on and I had to grieve.
I gave up everything and she received.

They say opposites attract.
In my case, they just tore me apart

Zeus handed Pandora 'pithos'.
She let her curiosity rise.
So out came

illnesses, hardships and cries,
while Pandora trapped
Hope inside.

But the myth is not quite right
When she opened the box,
I believe,

out came I.

The most evil spirit of all,
the burden on this world.
Maybe someday I can

climb back into the box,
and finally let Hope
come outside.

They ask me why I'm not
the life of the party
like I used to be.
Have they forgotten how
they beat me up like the piñata
when I used to be?

Take your shots and confetti
your high heels and let me be
I've run out of laughs for you
and never had any left for me.

How come
          some
                ↪ people can
            find paths even
                at a dead end ↩
while my paths,
so clear, diverse and
              numerous
    are cu
               t-
          -off by land
                              s
                                l
                                  i
                                    d
                                       e
                                          s
                                            and avalanches?

This mind is clouding up with clouds so grey,
These eyes are raining for you again.
This heart is desperate for you to stay,
But the Sun has to leave anyways

What has this world done to you?
O wanderer, O rolling stone,
With the solitary of an oyster,
With the heart of gold.
With the gleam of a shining star,
With the sagacity of old.

You could dance with the mermaids of the Bristol Cove and dine with the Lions of Tanzania.
You could make the brooding bears laugh and the queenly quokka cry.
You could make the stars shine brighter and the harmonies of the hills louder.

It was indubitable that your charm would, spread in this chasm of insanity and monstrosity.
You let go of your harmonies and your songs.
You soaked up the evil as a sponge would,
faded away like some fabled city of mythology.
Tell me, rolling stone, where did we go wrong?

Where did all of that charm go?
All I know is I miss you so.

if it all goes wrong
we can all move to Saturn
sure, it’s a gas giant,
so if that goes wrong
we can move to
Titan and Enceladus.

no angst, no despair,
no existential fear and
most importantly, no Karens.
maybe there are undiscovered
frozen glaciers of oreo milkshakes
out there in the universe.

there are no dead ends,
no places you don’t belong in,
no absence of a friend.
do not be scared of growing up,
there are infinite years to spend,
just 16 candles, in a universe so vast.

good books, moments, coffee blends,
conan gray songs, minecraft and games.
time is in your hands, clocks don’t melt.
oll is well that ends well,
we can all always move to Saturn,
the universe belongs to you, my friend.

what is the point
of being cruel like this?
if life is nothing m°ore.
th@n a

                               G

                                   Ⱡ i

                                       T? C 
 
                                            卄 !!

I pace back and forth
I beg to get support
I'm screaming, watery eyes.
They assure, "It's alright, child. Smile."

I climb the Mount Everest
Apathy is all there ever is.
I shout "We're running out of time!"
They sing, "Don't worry, child. Smile!"

Policies have wreaked havoc
But 'I don't know what I'm talking about.'
People getting killed in front of my eyes.
But okay yes I'm a child I should smile.

From your smiles what did you gain?
That from justice I have to abstain?
You place your hand on my shoulder.
STOP. I don't want to hear those words again.

The world is on fire behind me now.
But never mind, look at me now.
They are crying, they are dying.
But never mind, I'm smiling.

I pace back and forth
I beg to get support
I'm screaming, watery eyes.
They assure, "It's alright, child. Smile."

I climb the Mount Everest
Apathy is all there ever is.
I shout "We're running out of time!"
They sing, "Don't worry, child. Smile!"

Policies have wreaked havoc
But 'I don't know what I'm talking about.'
People getting killed in front of my eyes.
But okay yes I'm a child I should smile.

From your smiles what did you gain?
That from justice I have to abstain?
You place your hand on my shoulder.
STOP. I don't want to hear those words again.

The world is on fire behind me now.
But never mind, look at me now.
They are crying, they are dying.
But never mind, I'm smiling.

It is dark and it's raining.
Your beings are enchained but
The Book, The Book,
Your Book is not explaining.

Rain: Is it You crying
from the sky and
smiling and sympathizing
with me?

Or is it You humming
to Taylor Swift and
doing laundry, not hearing
my screams?

Your Book, Your Book
It is misunderstood
God, Your beings are being
oppressed for just being.

It wasn't Your intention then
But now, don't You see?
The powerful use the Book
To have power over the weak!

The Book, The Book
Says your Golden Gates
are closed for me.
For just showing sympathy?

When did it become
a choice between,
The Book, The Book
and humanity?

The Book, The Book
Says You care a lot
And then it says
you don't care at all.

Which creature to love
and which to not.
To help you decide,
Is there a Lucky Draw?

Why will you let,
those who repeat
"The Book, The Book",
easily off the hook?

But those who dare to think,
judge between bad and good
are the ones who get
The Look, The Look?

And if behind those Golden Gates
Are bad people chanting
"The Book, The Book"
I'm not sure I want to enter.

Your eyes are a vessel.
People are allowed to tell you
what to see and place in it.

Your eyes are a vessel.
To contain your pathetic tears.
Shut up and keep them in.

God forbid that vessel breaks
and unforgivable tears
Flow out your mouth.

I cut off my ears
at a beautiful note

And fall in love when
it's a screeching sound

I gauge my eyes out
with the violin's bow

The audience claps
so I take a bow

Lately, I have been détaché-d
Colorful melody, no strings attached

Take the strings of the violin
Tie them around my neck

I grab the neck
of the violin, choke myself
and say

Violence is yet
another instrument
I can't play.

Pale faces and red eyes
approach making no sound
Pale faces and red eyes
emerge from diamond studded cars
Ask the sun why it dares to shine
For her rebelliousness, is it a salute?

My subconscious mind
looks for a yellow bus around
In front of the class, summarize
who you are in words, just few
Ask the sky why it looks so blue
For it feels like the first day of school

Her casket holds the night skies
Frozen flames struggle to dance
to the tunes seen by her eyes
The lilies may wilt if given a chance
It's a Visitation, you're supposed to cry
But frankly, your eulogy is full of lies

You wear grief just like school uniforms;
For a few hours and out of formality
Funeral director, the head of the school
Making money out of a dying galaxy
Her thoughts shall live as immortals
There's more to bury than just the body

A masked old man makes me realize
He bleeds black tears from his eyes
He tells me they performed an autopsy
Out bled nothing but art and poetry
Lo and behold! Another galaxy has died
In whose heart now, will my soul reside?