It is not weak to yield
nor is it courageous
to rely on subterfuge
Speaking your inner truth
comes from daring to brave
eye rolls
shaking of heads
and mouths that smile yet
form cruel sentences all the same
You'll bleed
dripping perspiration
oozing all the love
you cannot find
Just when it seems as if
the sun is obscured by clouds
you get to your feet
tense muscles unclenching
utterly at the mercy
of all the light
you are just now starting to see.

-Esther L. Krenzin-
-Roguesong-

Brick by brick
stone by stone
I have built myself up
denying the inevitable
that all things
great
and small
fall
when it is their time
that mortality is the flutter
of a moth
so brief and sudden
fleeting even
an elusive thief we avoid
until it robs our home
and there are no riches that can
buy the hand of death
it strikes as it pleases
reaps those who sow
and sows those who reap.

-Esther L. Krenzin-
-Roguesong-

There are times
when I wish
I was blind
so I would not have to watch
loved ones
fall
and
break
and
stumble
so I would not have to watch
the world crumble
around us
like the howling before the storm.

-Esther L. Krenzin-
-Roguesong-

Don't discard me
like a seashell
with a blemish
yes
I'm cracking
of course
I'm crumbling
no amount of polishing
will sand away the bits
of me
you'd rather not deal with

Again
and
again
I am picked up
examined
and thrown away
always falling short
never the right shade
or shape

Forlorn
in the sand I await
unable to unsee
everyone
but
me
being chosen

One day
as the sun sets
I let myself release the childish
dream
that I was enough for
them
that they were enough
for
me.

-Esther L. Krenzin-
-Roguesong-

With just a few words
you crush me to smithereens
taking and taking without giving
anything in return
Even as something in my chest
collapses
Even as I feel my walls crumble
nothing can halt the sting of hurt
that follows you
You handle words like a double-edged
blade
a prodigy in the art of inflicting
pain
Spitting acid into the air between
it collects beneath my flesh and
eats away at me from within
So I summon shields of wintery smiles
and icy eyes
in the futile hope it will ensconce
bandaged bruises
I make myself stand tall before you
unflinching
unrelenting
and unexpecting.

-Esther L. Krenzin-
-Roguesong-

I am what I fear
I am my own demise
the very force that splits marrow
and thins blood
I am the choking that comes
with the clash of sorrow
and brine

-Esther L. Krenzin-
-Roguesong-