Eyes reddened by the liquor,

Soul blackened, lacking hope,

Amazing how in spite of this,

The World thinks he can cope.

The countdown clock is ticking,

We know it tells no lie,

From the moment we are newborn,

It counts down 'til we die.

We sit,

Awake,

Await,

Mistake,

Our heads,

Look down,

A fallen,

Crown.

A stranger site I have not seen,

How weird can someone be,

I saw a man forking his lawn,

With a piece of cutlery

The bridge appears before me,

I stand not knowing where

It goes, or should I cross it,

I ask myself, then dare

It is never about the words I use,

The order,

Disorder,

It is the tangled tapestry between lines,

Try reading it,

Don't look,

Feel,

Inherently the unwritten ink runs darker.

Tomorrow is the dentist,

I'm scared and that's the truth,

The last time that I had to go,

I left with just one tooth.

Struggling to fight each day,

Cold biting from inside,

Would the World even blink,

Had he just simply died

My doctor said to diet,

I just looked him in the eye,

I said think about it Doctor,

Having tea after you die.

A broken heart,

A shattered will,

No happiness,

From dispensed pill.

Do we dread death

fear dying,

Or is it something more,

Could it be life

actual living,

That scares us, I'm unsure

Ask me all you want my friend,

Seen it and been there,

Whilst you can sit, pontificate,

I simply don't care.

As days knock upon April's door,

Soon March, my friend, will be no more,

We cannot stop the shifting sands,

As time we cannot so command.

Do you not see,

The pain inside,

Broken wide,

The tears I've cried,



Do you not see,

The things I see,

A heart not free,

Why I can't be,



Do you not see,

The end is nigh,

I'll say goodbye,

And gladly die.

I think I'm a great dancer,

And love to hit the floor,

But reality is different,

I only dance when drinks you pour.

An early Easter Sunday,

I'm looking out for eggs,

I'm running round the garden on,

My tired little legs.

Questioning my sanity,

Seeking help and friends,

Can I cure the pain and more,

Or is this my journey's end

Enveloping, it cloaks me,

The darkness of the night,

I become an unknown entity,

Until tomorrow's light.

For a moment I thought it had gone,

My mind it seemed quite clear,

But no, it sat just waiting there,

My companion, ever near.

Tomorrow calls

As midnight falls,

Darkness consumes the light,

Tomorrow's here

It's my worse fear,

I still feel far from right............

Cold blooded, quite reptilian,

He slithers, coils and waits,

The inner beast a killer, now,

Beware, he holds your fate.

It's difficult,

It's hard, I find,

The fear, that lives,

Inside my mind,

A fear of here,

Of now, of all,

Disabled by,

Fear's fateful call.

Please do not feed the demons

As you step inside my mind,

For their hunger is insatiable,

They'll eat any(one)thing they find.

Fingers,

Vine twisted,

Barbed wire,

As I unfold,

Open,

A fist,

They bleed,

Feeding leaches.

Friday is upon us, our hearts of full of glee, what wonders will the weekend hold, we'll have to wait and see

Welcome disappointment,

It seems I got it wrong,

Perhaps my time is over,

And this, my final song

The release,

Adrenaline,

Addictive,

Fuelled,

Fired,

Final.....

At last I see the picture,
As clouds part, the sky is clear,
The sunshine warms our inner hearts,
Finally we've found some cheer.

A moment of pure weakness,

I succumb, temptation's trap,

I wished that I could care less,

But now I'm in a flap

Who is it that's watching you,

Your phone, your files, and more,

What will they see when they look close,

Yes, every crack, and flaw.

Looking inward for an answer,

I am weakened by the the task,

A darkness just envelops me,

Yet for help I'll never ask.

Taking off my clawing coat,

Letting my belt come free,

My clothes no longer seem to hide,

My pronounced belly.

Ideas that fall from deep within,

Appear upon the page,

The need to write, to speak to feel,

From happiness to rage.

Ghosted mist,

Free floating friend,

He'll come for you,

And it's the end.

The gloom that clouds our Monday,

Cast shadows 'cross our hearts,

We toil at tasks that we despise,

Whilst our loved ones are apart.

Unspoken,

How he wished,

He'd dare just say,

Chances missed,

And gone

Seeking solitude in crowded rooms,

Wanting company of one,

I'm happy trying to hide away,

Until the crowd has gone.

I looked straight through her,

Ghostly presence,

Too thin,

All skin,

Draw features,

Cold,

Scarred,

Scared,

Was this who,

Raised me,

Happy mothers,

Sorry sons.

It's Valentines and here's a gift,

To show that I love you,

I'm leaving and I won't be back,

Goodbye and toodle-ooo

Not noticed on inspection,

Nor found on careful looks,

No telltale signs apparent,

Nothing read in books,

No plaster can repair it,

The scars and soul are torn,

The problem of my broken mind,

Endured since I was born.

Tulips standing tall and proud,

Of colours different to the crowd,

I wonder what I'm going to see,

When the tulips time is history.

I watch as water drains from the vase,

Drawn up from vase to flower,

I'd be drunk if I drank like that,

And well within the hour.

I am known by the people I love,

Not loved by the people I know,

For I am not a performer,

Nor am I part of a show

Iced blood, like syrup seeps out,

From self cut arms and veins,

I never thought I'd make it,

Perhaps my life, my pain

Not on food I choke,

On words,

Thoughts,

Memories,

Recalled to me,

Like a catalogue of disasters,

I choke,

Because I miss you,

Yet you never knew I cared,

I choked

I tried to tell you,

And now,

Now I choke on pills,

And you'll never know.....