A time for much reflection,
To look back with pronounced fear,
On all the things that we regret,
Oh great, it's a New Year.

Clubbed to death

bludgeoned,

Life suddenly cut short,

The motive well

is unknown,

Perpetrator still not caught.

Nature's transformation,

As the hills

woods,

and glens

are shepherded into

their seasonal

changing rooms,

each coming

out

entirely

unrecognisable.

Blood clotted tissues,

Full of blood

clotted

tissue,

I find

myself

waiting,

In the

waiting room....

Again.

I don't like

you

this

conversation,

My mind

flits

away

like a disturbed

fruit

fly,

Then I miss

your

comment,

Trouble returns,

Rewind

repeat.

Friday is upon us, our hearts of full of glee, what wonders will the weekend hold, we'll have to wait and see

Cuts in the clouded sky

reveal flashes

blue,

Like moth riddled bed sheets

I see the world beyond,

and it me.

Am I looking out

or they in?

Such silken threads,

bare like my

skin.

Before long,

too long

grey returns

and my mood

as night

darkens.

It was never meant to be

so

black.

Stare downward, keep on looking,

Be sure you do not miss,

The silent thoughts and secrets

of my mind, in the abyss

What's hidden far beneath us,

What lies there underground,

Appears at night so silently,

A silent death we've found

Flickering

wick,

Burning

quick,

Candle

light,

Versus

night

I'm off to my new local,

I'll likely have a drink,

Perhaps I'll grab some food too,

Or perhaps just sit and think,

I love having a local,

A place where I belong,

Where I'm happy just to be me,

At the local, nothing's wrong.

Tripping over nothing,

Slipping far too much,

I'm cursed with being clumsy

breaking everything I touch.

Destiny dictated,

Fortunes 'ready told,

In the hands of others,

Souls so often sold.

First

mere faint lines,

Adding pressure

gradually,

Over time,

Causing skin

to redden

scratch,

Then

cut

bleed,

heal

scar.....

Trees shed,

Leaves fall,

World hears,

Nature's call.

Every night I make a promise

That tomorrow things will change,

My life it will be better,

The troubles not so strange,

Each promise is of hollow words,

Like Easter Eggs, just shells,

For though I promise better,

Each tomorrow is just Hell.

I promised myself I wouldn't worry

but I did,

And still do,

That I wouldn't quit

right before giving up

putting down

siting still,

To try harder

not cheat

or lie,



My promises are just words

empty gestures to self improvement,

I promise to do better

I promise to be on time

next time

honestly.

Do we dread death

fear dying,

Or is it something more,

Could it be life

actual living,

That scares us, I'm unsure

How can me not knowing,

Be worse than being told,

Fearing the worse, it is a curse,

That'll plague me 'til I'm old.

Closed at 10am,

With customers outside,

Opening at 12pm,

By then the interest's died.




*Sometimes I feel as a blogger, like a shopkeeper with no customers. It isn't that I want people to buy anything, but it would be nice to have a few folk wander in and browse for a while. We may not have free WiFi, but we could always just talk to each other.......

Strange how good news sometimes

can still cut you at the knee,

When even things you want to hear

cause some difficulty

Didn't see it coming,

Struck down to the floor,

But in life you keep on going,

And coming back for more.

Not noticed on inspection,

Nor found on careful looks,

No telltale signs apparent,

Nothing read in books,

No plaster can repair it,

The scars and soul are torn,

The problem of my broken mind,

Endured since I was born.

Leech drawn,

Blood drunk,

My life,

Old junk.

And as I came to realize,

What I knew, a strange surprise,

The truth was just before my eyes,

Not all live, but always dies.

Sat alone

just wondering,

Is it me

why life's a funny thing,

On days my heart

may want to sing,

yet times when

death, I'd want to bring.

The bridge appears before me,

I stand not knowing where

It goes, or should I cross it,

I ask myself, then dare

Day follows night,

Follows fear,

Follows fright,

Follows you,

Follows right,

Fear the day,

Dread the night.

My name is tolerance,

Your name is fear,

Stoking up hatred,

Of things I hold dear



My name's acceptance,

Your's bigotry,

Insulting of everything,

That's true to me



My name is hopefully,

Your's there's no way,

Yet I still hold hope that

You find truth one day

I see,

I saw,

I've seen

Before.

I am,

I can,

I'm just,

A man.

I fear,

A foe,

I'll never

Day follows night,

Follows fear,

Follows fright,

Follows you,

Follows right,

Fear the day,

Dread the night.

Tomorrow calls

As midnight falls,

Darkness consumes the light,

Tomorrow's here

It's my worse fear,

I still feel far from right............

Lackadaisically lazy,

Freethinking state-of-mind,

Purposively pensive,

Generously kind.



Occasionally cautious,

Heavy set, a belting beard,

Despicably dizzy,

And wonderfully weird.

I bought myself a bonsai tree,

But little did I know,

Whilst it started off quite little,

You should have seen it grow

My friend she is in hospital,

She's feeling not too great,

They say her heart is beating,

At a most peculiar rate,



So they've given her some medicine,

And told that she must rest,

They will have to keep her wired up,

I suppose that they know best.



I wonder what the cause is,

To make her so unwell,

It's a good job I'm no doctor,

As I don't think I could tell.



Perhaps she is too stressed out,

Perhaps work is too hard,

Perhaps it is the whiskey,

And the late night poker card.



Perhaps it is the pizza,

Served hot with nice cold beer,

That is the reason she is there,

And sadly not  back here.



I hope that you feel better soon,

And are back to your mad best,

Chatting like a monkey on speed,

But for now, it's time to rest.

Questioning my sanity,

Seeking help and friends,

Can I cure the pain and more,

Or is this my journey's end

I cannot face tomorrow,

Nor can I live today,

Something has to change soon,

I can't go on this way.

Too much noise,

Deafening

Sound,

Fills my head,

Whilst

Wandering round,

At times I fear,

My head

May pop,

Please make the noise,

Lessen

Then stop

Tulips standing tall and proud,

Of colours different to the crowd,

I wonder what I'm going to see,

When the tulips time is history.

The bumblebee it takes to wing,

A buzz, a leap and flight,

But how can the bulbous bumblebee

Fly, it seems not right.

I'm no longer taking poison,

The ingestion had to stop,

But all the hurt that I have felt,

Is enough to make me drop.

There is no quick solution,

To the harm that has been done,

Though I'm heading down the right path,

The journey's just begun

Cold blooded, quite reptilian,

He slithers, coils and waits,

The inner beast a killer, now,

Beware, he holds your fate.

The stale smell of the waiting room,

Embraced by walls, a dying womb.

Do you not see,

The pain inside,

Broken wide,

The tears I've cried,



Do you not see,

The things I see,

A heart not free,

Why I can't be,



Do you not see,

The end is nigh,

I'll say goodbye,

And gladly die.

I fear the end,

When should it be,

Control of,

My own destiny.



I fear the end,

It's mine to choose,

To battle on,

Or simply lose

A little glass,

Red wine's the cure,

There's time for one,

Then several more.

To kiss the early morning sun,

The promise of a day so fun,

One that has only begun,

To share with you, the day, as one

A broken man,

Sits idly still,

Lacks happiness,

A broken will,

No hope, no chance,

No reason why,

The broken man,

Just waits to die.

The sickened sight of death befalls,

Catching each alarmed,

Yet in the turmoil of excess,

We all are grotesquely charmed.

New year,

New day,

Can't cope,

Same way,

The mind,

Too strange,

Need help,

Need change