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3.7k · Jul 2018
RyanMJenkins Jul 2018
I'm all too used to the touch of your absence.  Your mother's wrath in that time can be a death sentence so tragic.  But when you come back, Demeter returns to her senses expressing light magic.   Life springs through the darkness, and flowers race to see who can reach the farthest.  Lovers emerge to nurture their gardens, and soak in sun to thaw out the hearts that hardened.  Birds sing songs highlighting your arrival.  Trees breathe easy seeing what their last set of leaves died for..
Yet when you retreat, mother again takes away her warmth.  The high-flyers no longer soar, and some paths feel too bitter to explore.  Bone-chill zones, a frozen reality stream.  I can't blame anyone for what's a part of me, as we fall into winter's annual dream.
Queen of the Underworld, I appreciate your harmony.  Thank you for teaching me to see the depths of my own duality.  Still, I can't help but wonder how existence would be had you not eaten those pomegranate seeds.  In the darkness of winter I want to curse Hades for his greedy need to leach on life through trickery.  Though to curse him I'd be cursing myself and ive had it with the blasphemy.  Besides I too know what it's like to rely on the dead as your only company.  I ride ebbs and flows of loss and hope, but I know your presence promotes healing.  So again I'll remain as the seasons change, taking layers and peeling.  I've found in light and dark we can succeed in setting our bound spirits free.  Communicator of both worlds, I want to Thank and honor you, Persephone~
3.5k · Mar 2013
The Consciousness Revolution
RyanMJenkins Mar 2013
It's those deep-thought induced conversations that bring forth realizations
As to what we're about. and why we're here.  
There can be clarity for some, while many have yet to see it clear-ly.
What's charity for some, in others may produce fear.
If you can hear me, you may know that I've been embedded in a web of silk thread.  
We all are, just labeled differently, accustomed to the various personalities under which we're bred.  
Don't let it mess with your head, but we've been mislead, about what is the vital pulse of this existence.  
You can realize what's toxic, and what's pure in the matter of an instance.  

Before you spew out your sentence,
Make sure you thought it through, and drew out a map of where you intend it to lead.  
No one single person walks into a fight expecting to bleed. 
They've been deceived by a culture based on immediate reaction,
Forming a faction of those who never grow to fully develop their souls to gain full control,
Over their lives.  
Simple words, some that should be left unheard, can hurt worse than knives.  
Thoughtlessly responding to actions is just like ingesting an unknown, and jagged little pill.  
You know nothing of the repercussions, but as the grains of sand pile up, you soon will.  
Believe it or not you can get to your mental destination faster once you learn to sit still.  
So, respond by applying conscious thought to your will,
Ultimately creating a new canvas in which your creativity can spill.  

Perfection is an eyedea,
And forever happened yesterday.
We're the perceived seeds of Gaea,
Equal composers of this magnificent screenplay.

This plane gives us no manual, and no time to rehearse.  
I spent a long time in the lions den, only to find that I must tame me first.  
When I would sting everything, it poisoned my own insides.  
Held on too tight with my claws when I should've just paused, to gain some insight.  
Instinctively we have adopted the means of fight or flight.  
Just make sure actions taken will be those that lead away from spite.  

In your beating *****, the tempo will eventually cease.  
Listen to it's wisdom in order to unwind, release,
Be at peace and defeat the foolish person that sometimes controls your mind.  
It's in this moment that we take off the shades that have kept us blind.  
When your days grow into night, you alone can be the light that shines,
And reminds the world that there are things far more important.
Even measuring the probability of being alive leaves us more than fortunate.  

Warming yourself radiates across what can be known as a cold planet.  
Every single moment I believe, happens for a reason,
Even though it may not be as you planned it.  
A person's karma is what you're presented with, while yours is your response.  
Slowly we're intertwining and aligning; now let's raise a new-age renaissance!
It's up to us to detox ourselves of all of the mind's pollution.  
Close your eyes and ascend to the skies for the Consciousness Revolution.
RyanMJenkins Dec 2013
Somewhere along the line I broke my internal compass.
Already inhaled our poisoned water, fearful of not reaching the surface.
Never knowing the right direction, leaves me left alone.
Done so much to weather this body, not as clear cut as a broken bone.
I just feel I want to go that way.
Eye see what I want - stumble, blackout, and stray.

Script already written, but the characters are constant variables.
Knowing everything in our heads is all malleable
Reading in between the lines searching for guarantees,
Feelings come influx.. and then slowly flee

Anchor me down to anything.

Sinking into a black tar pit abyss, wondering when I'll leave.
But maybe my soul was always meant to roam foreign zones, alone, free.
It's in moments like these where to thoughts I feel shackled to, can't release.
It becomes a hassle to feel happy, struggling to properly breathe.

Maybe no world is the same as yours
Each path has perfectly placed locked doors,
That's as individual to you as what you soak into your pores.
Getting *****, but we still want more.

It'll soon be time to graduate from our physical capabilities,
But man, how did I go so long without seeing the synchronicities?

I bleed red, I'm tired, but true.
I can't bridge past the fact that I don't know if this is for me or you.

My monster of malice,
Helps me hold high, the aluminum chalice.
Knowing these roads don't help feed my head,
Left Alice in bed for the next adequate depressant threshold
Draining my spirit and the malicious comes back-
Writing down symbols, using me as a vessel.

This dream of a life can be stressful
My walls I am enclosed in has become a mess hole.
Halls with trophies that look much like alcohol bottles.. oh wait.
Little victories! - I'm still here.
Make the liquid disappear so you can see the skewed you a little more clear.
I make the art of dying look so graceful,
Just hoping before the expiration date I left you with something tasteful.

My genes are tearing at the seams.
Glittered with fractured beams of half- hope
Slipped down the rope before I saw the light
Shining down on disappointment.
Been joyously walking to the liquor store for my alcoholic ointment.

Too much cancer, fresh internal scars, and airbrushed perspectives.
It's too bad we mostly only look at our exterior when being reflective.
*** becomes a place where we can forget.
It happened for more than hormones, yet many tend to regret.
People can run off course and divorce themselves when ******* leads to remorse
But the choice is yours.
Then we develop new feelings whether intended or not.
A home for new wounds, just waiting to clot.

We're simply riding through life chemically imbalanced,
Happiness turns to madness, sadness, numb.
Jumping from this feeling to that, this person to them.
Firing more into the overworked synapses that overreact through connection
When you clash with your mind, and embody all it's destructive four course meals
It eventually takes control over your entire life, robbed blind, an easy steal.
Peel away each sentence, and bask right now in the surreal,
Make a deal to be your divine self and let the soul show ya what's real.

In these very limited bodies, currently, time is currency. *
With your unlimited potential act purposefully-
Spend the ticks wisely to enrich your soul.
Mind plays tricks from time to time, never let it have control
Open your third eye and dare to be bold
Strengthen vibrations with intent to share the love
and you'll be riddled with appreciation without deviation,
From the heaven within us all, to the heavens above~

But I trust our spirits know our way around the blueprint.
Despite the many unseen forces, forever at play.
Look deeper into the depths like an enthusiastic student
**Reality is just a matter of what you believe; namaste~
2.6k · Jan 2014
RyanMJenkins Jan 2014
I find it interesting,
The way we mold ourselves to the given situation

Different faces means new spaces
to fill liquid in, intoxicate, and ultimately change them.

So we need our weapons clasped in our grip
catch a bad intention, make sure they're the ones who slip...

No!  We've been doing this all wrong.
Keeping the walls up inhibits growth to be strong
Even if it takes, "far, too long."
Inevitably we exclaim pitches that reside in the same song.

The color-changing, tree-walkers are said to blend into their environment.

This is actually not true.
They change based on light intensity, temperature, and mood.

The personality-changing, free-walkers change based,
On the type of reaction they want to get out of you.

After all you could be the ***** to hold together the whole scheme
Caught in a feverish nightmare, when it seemed to be a sweet dream

Solitary work is needed, *now
, to avoid a potential sting
And so I take the time to rhyme this,
Evaluating the nature of everything.

The mouth can be, but the eyes are not untruthful
They precipitate pictures, from the scary to the downright beautiful
Look deep within yourself, and see your own array of colors.
We may be blind to the importance of some priorities, but I feel we're all lovers.

"Hurt people hurt people," In my life it's a fact.
But remember you can only be responsible for how you act.

No offense or defensive tactics,
Throw the whole playbook out.
Conducting this vessel requires much practice,
Reflect needs of warmth for the seeds to sprout

Make sure you don't love someone, just for what they can give to you.

Highlight their radiance, for making you feel the way you do

The cycle, is only as vicious as one portrays it
The choice is ours, and I choose to change it.

Right here,
right now
Breathe in,
Feel the oxygen go down
Hold it,
For a moment
Every exhale reminds us,
That life's color is golden.
So fold up the clothes,
And walk out the door.
So many illuminated pigmentations to see,
~Everybody's a new world to explore~
2.1k · Jul 2013
Swirls of Serenity
RyanMJenkins Jul 2013
Flying with words from a Buddhist,
Fully understanding why I do this.

Through the thick grasses of what used to be
Vibrations grew, leading me to the new, beautifully.
Pushed passed predators policing my passionate prison,
To find the transparent temple of tranquility was always within.
The phoenix has risen, and the flakes of ash laid out the now vibrant path
Sprouting plants, and cherished moments alike.

I had a groove movin' though me
and it was so surreal that I felt I had to give out that electric feel.
Crowds of countless surrounded a gate watching performers at play.
I was where I wanted to be, and wouldn't have it any other way
The tempo picked up and amplified vibes throughout,
It rains through our souls as if we've been enduring a drought
Intensity increased and we got lifted off the herbal medication.
Took everything in with my senses, total awareness meditation.
Spotted a brown-eyed beauty in my peripheral,
Locked into contact the connection was mystical

All worries and concerns in this space and time were less than minimal

Hands grazed sparking the flame of something physical
Made a space in my magnetic field, that she knew just how to fill
Our bodies locked together, in a sea of individuals
A love was shared right there with the pair, unequivocal.

Stars align for moments in time,
And this was one of those bliss-ridden moments
Where you just wanna delicately hold it
~Like I held her~
Direct hand and body implantations of warm vibrations
Brought further realizations on how to live

I continued on,
Following breaths knowing I had nothing but love to give,
and a smile to wear.
I don't know exactly where I'm going,
but I know I'll be there
With spare energy to emit unto you, and you to infinity

Our destinies are recipes,
That manifest when we realize we were already blessed with the ingredients.
Don't let fear or worry rule, when results are not immediate,
Because everything you are, and everything you do,
is significant.

Be the bearers of love you want to stumble upon
Which may be on someone's lawn,
Sharing smiles and laughter until the light indicates dawn.
Expose your universe through openness, and equanimity, letting your divinity shine through.
Then, friends, you attract waves of radiation from the pure that want to share their world with you.

Expectations can cause complications,
So look around and ~just be~.

Instinctively interested in the intricate,
Imagination captivating me, so I'll close my eyes and sit with it.
I leave pieces of me wherever I go,
But it took me a long time to realize I was always whole.
I openly give my heart out, some would call it a steal
But none can say I don't genuinely reach out without zeal
Growing forever, watering my roots
Ecstatically entangled in a web of mystery, nomadic in this book.
Changing history, but sometimes it's satisfying to reread,
~Let's have another look~

No pictures on the pages, but each word is so evocative to me

So I must continue writing, and experimenting with experiences
Loving from the inside out, reading body language.
*One step at a time, this is going to be a story for the ages
RyanMJenkins Feb 2013
There's an elephant with a fire poker on a magic carpet.  There was something about this typical scene that made me not want to part it.  I jumped aboard, he put his trunk around me, laughed and said, "Hello friend!"  I was bewildered as to would become of this journey, but I already wished it'd never end.  
         I asked the 'phant where we were going, and if there was a fire to poke.  He told me, "Ryno, we're to save a sacred city before it all goes up in smoke.  My name's Vishwah, and the city of Ramthew has been my home since birth for many many years.  Unfortunately this thriving place seems to now be consumed by tears.  LaChunga's an evil man that's recently taken over; a vicious tool with relentless rule.  He's hurting all with no discrimination, and that just isn't cool.  This is why I've been searching for someone to come to our city's aid.  I just fear there's not much time before the hope starts to completely fade."  Inspired I jumped up, he yelled, "Sit down!  You surely don't want to fall!"  I obliged and said, "We'll talk about seat belts later, either way I'll risk it all."
         He sensed that the time was right and swooped down into the town.  After seeing the drained expressions on various faces I couldn't wait to face the clown!  I said that I wanted a weapon to teach him a lesson, 'cuz I'm not much of a choker.  Immediately he said, "This is for you," and presented a different fire poker.  I've never felt more prepared to fight a battle for a city, and serve up some similar medicine to the man that knows no pity.
        I gathered some locals together to share the plan I had.  Vishwah & I were to break into the palace that night, though normally I'd consider that bad.  Thankfully they had an elephant entrance in the back of the structure.  Inside we were confronted by a captivating woman, who said she'd help, but I wasn't sure if I could trust her.  Nearby guards, were alarmed, and the girl ran out of the room.  Rear to rear it was the elephant and I, seemingly left to our doom.  Wildly flailing our fire pokers, against the mob we began to push.  Before we knew it we had beaten our adversaries and put an end to the ambush.  
        What followed was a series of hallways and locked doors with uncertainty on where to go.  Then after catching a glimpse of a fire in the distance it seemed,* now we know.  *Just beyond it was a huge circular room with the ruler at his desk.  He stood up as if he knew we were there and said, "This is your final test."  He spoke of knowing all of our plans and capturing almost all involved.  Despite every word he said we knew our plans had not dissolved.  
        He pulled a lever as we grew closer and the floor in front of us had dropped!  He then let out a hearty laugh thinking we've been stopped.  Vishwah and I looked at each other and nodded as he grabbed me with his trunk.  Vish threw me across the gap in the floor and I flew with a lot of *****.  I looked into LaChunga's eyes and he looked as though he didn't know what to feel.   Gazing back into mine I know he could tell **** just got real.  
        Reaching at his side he grabbed out his sword as I charged at him with much discord and we both felt the surge of vibrations as our metals clashed.  I told him, "Punk you can consider yourself a potatoe, 'cuz you're gonna get mashed!"  I swung and whapped him across the face, which seemed to put him in a daze.  But before falling over he splashed my face with a powder and my world had vanished in a haze.
         I eventually came to, to LaChunga's screaming and the girl's beauty in my face.  He was screaming to be let out for she put him in a chain-like embrace.  The floor was back, Vishwah was there, as I was surrounded by a crowd of stares.  The people were free & overcame the strife.  All of the hope had come back to life.  I said, "For now, LaChunga should live out his days getting pies thrown at him at the peoples' discretion.  He will be faced with nothing left to taste and know the true meaning of oppression."
The people were joyous and excited, but wanted me as their king.  I turned to the girl and said, "If you were my queen it'd make my heart sing!"  She blushed and accepted, but I said I'd only rule if all the people were by my side.  After all the cheers and emotions that were felt I said, "Let's all go on a celebratory magic carpet ride, now with seat belts!"
Almost 2 years ago, I told my friend Josh Picard, that I could write to anything.  I told him to give me a line.  "There's an elephant with a fire poker on a magic carpet." is what he said.  That night, this happened.
RyanMJenkins Sep 2012
We are free like a tree in the valley with nothing to see but pesticide dreams.

If you were free, what you speak wouldn't end with prosecution.
If you were free, you wouldn't be dumbing down your senses with alcohol pollution
When nature provides more than enough to lift you as a clear solution.
If you were free, the green pieces of paper would be "My notes",
and not "Federal Reserve Notes" that we owe interest back to.
If you were free, then the walls of the matrix we could crack through.
If you were free, you would be able to choose who could lead your country,
Instead of falsely participating in which dictator puppet reigns supreme in the best interests of the Rich and powerful gaining land resources and money.
If you were free, you wouldn't be on your knees bobbleheading at all the media tells you.
If you were free, you would not accept any leader who actively kills the innocent, and does not say Why, or even show proof.
If you were free, you would stand up, for what's morally right.
If you were free you would look at those in your peripheral
and join them rather than work against in spite.
If you were free, we could actually pride ourselves for being a country all about freedom.
If you were free, you would say NO to RFID chips, already being used on middle and high school kids in Texas, numb, to what is free.
I can't free you, you must free yourself and wake up to the mirage and bombardment of lies Raining down our existence.
If you were free, you would be a threat, everything they don't want.
It's everything we need, with persistence.
Let go of the fear of fear.
When that time comes, just as a flower becomes unfurled,
There will be a triumph for all that's good in the world.
Open your mind, *stop the chatter
, and wake up. *Free Yourself
1.9k · Nov 2013
So here's a little story
RyanMJenkins Nov 2013
Here's a little story about one of my best friends, and I
We've gone through the lowest of the lows, to the ecstasy peak of highs

It all started during the second half of 12th grade
Immediately a beauty caught my eye, fixated my gaze
Her aura was not normal and I immediately needed to know her name.
It was in that film class, where we set the stage.

I tried to back away, even though it wasn't what I felt in my heart
There was just something about her that struck me right from the start
I knew in her life movie, I wanted to play a part.

Not a supporting actor, not a stagehand.

I wanted that lead role, and so I took a stand
We then embraced our connection, and took on life, hand in hand

There were clashes with the cast around us
Mental strains clogged the drains and caused too much fuss
But we knew enough to build off of what we had, trust.
That and a whole lotta love, thankful for every moment
That I was blessed with this star from above.

But we were young, high-strung, and intoxicated by our surroundings
When we shut it all out, removed all doubt,
Together on a cloud it was no less than astounding.
A future we were founding, shined brighter than sun beams
It's in those fields where life feels better than your dreams.

Existence was constantly testing us, arresting us in prisons that felt so grim
I was fighting a battle against hateful people, one I could not win.
Voices from outside led us astray, to sin
An alcoholic's logic, made me wanna get a bat and swing
But we sparked a new beginning when we dismissed other opinions.

She was my sunshine, and I let her know
We nurtured our beings, continued to grow
Anywhere she wanted me, I would surely go
We never stopped to look back, groovin' with the flow

We never meant any harm
but sometimes had to disarm each other
when the alarms were blaring.
There were occasions that were downright scary,
But peace was found in each others' eyes,
Staring into the depths of one another's soul
We physically held onto each other determined to never let go.
Despite the rain, shine, or snow
We've weathered all weather patterns
Our boat we continued to row

Merrily merrily, wait where are we?

2 hearts, minds, bodies, and souls
Our blissful union had been on a roll
But spending life on a bus, depressed, and sleep-deprived was surely taking it's toll
Got me drinking and thinking there'd be a tomorrow I wouldn't know.
Became resentful with a head full of dreadful hypotheticals
Unto none I could bestow.

Someone drowned in the nearby river
I figured I would join them after a night of abusing my liver
I immediately considered, how I felt during her moments of weakness by the cliffs
I'd've been so hurt emotionally it would seem as if internally I was pummeled by fists
I then put a pen within my grip, now connecting the dots, it led to this.

I once pushed her away, now it was her turn.
I tried holding on too tight constantly watching the bridge burn.
Impending doom filled the room inside my head
Sorrow was now the only one to lay in my bed
Zooming down a road I knew to be a dead end

When the time came, the perfect vision of our future shattered
I still kept fighting for love, but felt it didn't matter
The canvas was torn, the paint was all splattered.
I felt as if it were a sick joke,
Causing my inner demons laughter chasing a happily-ever-after

She would still call on me, whenever I was needed
Like temporary medicine even though I felt that I was bleeding.
Never heeding warnings from friends,
I felt like nothing more than a means to an end.

I lost the two that were closest, but they found each other.
In that fire I was but a scorned lover,
Cast them off my island,
While they didn't know where my life or mind went.
Lived life fast, one could say hell-bent
Then spent a lot of time, with another girl.
Decided this was gonna be my new world.
Although, it was doomed right from the start.
I was this girl's "soul mate"
but she couldn't hold my whole heart.
I tried forcing it, picturing another forever
I hurt us both, my mind is far too clever.
We were both too hurt from the past,
I knew it was a matter of time, it wasn't meant to last.
The concept of hurting someone, I just could not grasp,
2 and a half years sure went fast.

The original girl would sometimes pop in my dreams,
It was never angry but I didn't know what it could mean.
Shortly after the breakup came in girl number three,
We matched, the fun times with glee
Surely we were on a loving spree.

One night it changed, my whole being felt strange.
Inside was a feeling that I just could not tame.
I was at work stuck on a trip down memory lane
Fiery passion was the game
I knew deep inside I needed that again.
Hurt to another came down like rain,
Never intended despite how much I could explain.

I needed to let go of past pains and invite love to stay.

I messaged the girl that was once the brightest star in my solar system
We let our feelings out and again our spirits were in rhythm
It was a new beginning
Even contacted my old best friend n let him know how I missed him.
I again tried to hug her pains away and listened to every word she'd say
Common contact was slowly turning the nights into days
Replaying memories and the talks of forevers with old and new lovers.
We knew once again, that we always had, us.

Memories irreplaceable
I smile when I look out the windowsill
Reminiscing on the old thrills.

Nights spent watching sappy movies alone
while she lay with her head on my chest to the beat of my corazon.  
We once had sanctuary in each other, a home.
So many times I held her with optimism while she cried
Mascara marks on a hoodie of mine have stood the test of time
In her once upon a time was the only place I could confide
Arguments and water balloon fights.
Sneaking around to see each other always felt so right.
Halloweens and the moments in between,
Knowing the grass on the other side wasn't any more green.
Beds that were beyond places of rest,
Places where our cosmic beings could confess, love.
The best of rollercoasters had us addicted moreso than any drug.
I let tears fall in front of her once, regarding the loss of my dad
She held me oh so close and told me I'd be the best father anyone could have.
We've grown with time, and I'm happy to see her still rain down sunshine.
I'm happy that we once had each other as lovers,
and have each other as friends.
The past is past, but the stories will never end.
1.9k · Jun 2013
Nature's dance
RyanMJenkins Jun 2013
The atoms you're composed of
Stay together like magnets, profound love
To make you who you are...

Do you ever look to the sky at night in wonder,
Knowing your ingredients come from what was, a star?
The recipe that is you, reads out important clues
About bonds between all, *connecting destinies
to follow through

Every time I sent a question out,
Answers were received.
It's such a phenomena,
years ago I would not have believed.
So now I walk around barefoot,
Soaking up the chi.
Bound by the universal matrix,
Helps me feel so free.

It's really opened me up, to the beauty of everything.
and when my mind's not right I let it out and sing.
In harmony with the cosmos, dancing to the frequencies of nature
Like swirling galaxies, with a relationship so pure
In motion with one glorious ocean, the waves affect us all.
take the chance even if it means risking the fall
You have the power to manipulate energies for positive change,
your significance is never small
Give in to the power of the infinite, just give it a chance.
Tap into the rhythm of all that's given,
remember you are creator of the moments we live in,
Switch up the routine, to ascend and advance.
Nature's song is always on
so feel it in your soul, and dance!

After all, you're the biggest part of it
Pick up those high vibes,
We can make an art of it.
1.7k · Apr 2012
The Scorpion
RyanMJenkins Apr 2012
Often intimidating
Exterior hard
It bears a leg for every lifetime scarred

With age comes wisdom
430 million years old
Capable of love but a claw is hard to hold

Often mistaken
An intuitive tune they sing
Never double cross in fear of the sting

Defensive creatures
Sometimes stuck in their ways
There's more to it than what the image portrays

The venom induced can rot you to your core
Treat it right though and you'll be hooked, wanting more

Dive into the depths filled with soul and compassion
Has tried the infinite mind on for size, more than just for fashion
The emotion runs deep in an abyss filled with wonder
Come for the lightning, stay for the thunder

You start to get a feel of the tremendous history
When you gaze into the eyes filled with mystery

Only through connection can everything eventually grow
You can get rooted right here, with this Scorpio
RyanMJenkins Jul 2013
The night started slow, riddled with excitement.
Soon everything came together to light the way like lightning.
Simple plants, changed the nature of everything around us.
Everything had life, and was there to astound us.
Posters became 3-dimensional works that played with imagination.
Upon closing eyes, we were gone, lost in fascination.
Never was there fear, and everything had proper circulation
To show us that everything is intertwined.
Two souls that night were able to effortlessly unwind.
Sometimes I would giggle as I examined my own mind.
But it helped me see that I'm now powerfully redefined.
Little crystals on green bulbs of beauty disappeared into our chests.
Blow it out slow with control and let go of any stress.
Winds of change were growing, and our tree danced for us.
A milestone in our friendship these happenings were a must.

Everything had elegance, from the way the world would sway
To the way, I knew exactly what to say.  
Punch lines and good times had us laughing.
Such raw, pure energy, creating moments everlasting.
Philosophically speaking, we were retreating into places of higher power.
Once the caps and stems were gone we had bloomed into majestic flowers.
Melted in our environments, in harmony with each other,
As our solo melodies played and were soaked into each brother.
Stimulating conversations about the universal energy matrix,
Elevated on magic, we got our wondrous fix.
An influx of synapse firing sparked a rewiring of who we are.
Bodies completely relaxed, mesmerized by stars.
The moon was a goddess looking over us,
As we gazed in awe of her aura.
Faces changing constantly, but with eye-contact we had a God moment.
Spectacles morphed so fast there was no way to really hold it.

Confidence was off the page as the scenes I was conducting,
Switched from stage to stage.  
Every line by us improv actors was perfect as if predetermined.
I knew the right time, I never in my life have been so absolutely certain.
Fields of energy drew us in as our experience fluctuated between scenes.
Though sometimes I was enjoying what was going on internally so much so,
That we both had periods where we wouldn't speak.
The levels of creativity increased as I was realizing inner potential climbing to our peaks.
Outwardly, we may've seemed goofy
But we experienced something mystical, all by our own choosing.
My rhymes of the mind came out on time
And fit in with every line of conversation.
Whether we wanted to move or not was the only contemplation.
A loving memory was shared across the span of many hours, complete with soul restoration.
I never before, cherished the reflection of myself more.
In the bathroom with eye eclipses, the rain that is bliss, poured.
Hallucinations were fully engaged, and roared
Across my landscape, where my wildlife continued to grow.
So much information to process, we could vaguely share the overflow.
Sometimes words were not needed, the symbols needn't be portrayed.
Feeling near complete with psilocybin inside, as the compounds together played.
Dancing on a rollercoaster in the depths of my heart,
For awhile Daft Punk was playing as we jived in the dark
We were in absolute sync with every happening.
With kaleidoscopic visions and topics flowing,
Higher frequencies within us were amassing.

One long song, a perfectly scripted movie.
Special effects so intricate, deep and moving.
All wounds felt healed, both deep scars and minor bruising.
I was beyond myself, tasted a touch of cosmos drip in me.
Perfectly placed with perspective overlapping like sacred geometry.
Chemistry changes were made as we meshed with biology.
On the brief, forever journey, I believe I could see all of me.
Within realms within realms, the sea of consciousness is where we delved.
To realize all we ever needed, was ourselves.
RyanMJenkins Dec 2013
Because of that moment, you were led here,
If that had not happened, this wouldn't be
Everything happens, making other things clear
Just never woulda guessed that you'd be so important to me

Simple little actions, fingertip movements, linked us into conversation
An open bridge was built that night for our souls to travel across freely
Emotionally jumped into each others' soulful arms, without hesitation
Each message read was like a piece of our heart that we were inadvertently stealing

Every time your face popped up on my screen,
My heart would nearly skip a beat
Right now, many miles lay inbetween
But in roughly two weeks our bodies will finally meet.

Already in you I've let myself be vulnerable,  comfortably
The pictures we paint with words depict something I can really see
I feel each slightest touch as if you were here enveloped in me, effortlessly
We've already raised each others' spirits and expanded frequencies
I think about you being here, or me there, frequently.
Thinking of hugging you instills a kind of peace in me,
Call it tranquility...simple pleasantries.. call it anything..

~So long as it involves love~

You say I've done so much for you
But words are never enough.
Just symbols, to represent, stuff
Independent to the perspective

I just hope I symbolized meaning that was effective

How much I care.. I really meant it
Because if I didn't mean the content, I wouldn't have sent it

Hearts on the sleeves with arms extended
For any wound in your soul I wanna mend it.
Anything on your mind you can come to me and vent it.
I at least have a little bit of time left, I wanna come to you and spend it.
We're gonna have to take advantage of time spent, so to not regret it
Already deep within me you are embedded,
Talked so much in a short period, just know everything was true when I said it

Just as it is in the current, riding waves of light that'll promise us at least one night.

Frigid, snowy weather,
yet warm together~

It's our endeavor to better ourselves,
And I'll always be there for you when you need help.
I tend to move in stealth, but I make myself known.
My daydreams, embraced by you feels so at home.
If you're ever down, feeling alone
I'm here, pick up the phone, no matter the time zone
I'll send my electrified vibes flying through the air faster than a drone

some say it's tossed around too much,
But I say too little
They put rules and complications on it,
trying to find an answer to the riddle
I told you I could say it to strangers
But it's hard, romantically speaking,
as if there's impending danger.
But if the feeling's true we shouldn't waiver
For there's no guaranteeing there'll be a later

Even though right now I'm feeling blue,
I have nothing but love for you,
You make me think of brighter colors
Meshing energies like long lost lovers

1.6k · Feb 2017
Sleep Paralysis
RyanMJenkins Feb 2017
Hordes of metaphorical oracles awaken me from sleep
Dreams of paralysis, lost inside the deep
Rabbit hole analysis meets a descent so steep
While these Prodding thoughts got me tripping over my own feet
Interpretations or revelations what does it mean?
How long can one last existing inside of this scene?
Wide eyes lids closed coincide with winter snow
shallow breath heavy toll watching bodies decompose
presence felt, identity unknown, an experience to shake the bones.
Straining to take quick control, interpretations from the occipital lobe
lying semi lucid, fear from the cold
vocalizing panicked silence binded in time with mind stuck in molds
To even have witnissed this instance means it's time to grow.
the fire's flowing im slowly blowing my CO2
What do I want, what do I need?
This mission eye must see through
Take this steady ascension into the next lesson
clearing the mirror for a perspective of truth.  
The more that is reflected, the more I see you
RyanMJenkins Mar 2014
It was anger,
Rage, building from an undisclosed sadness

Messages were cryptic
Aggression was slipped in.
Spoken word, otherworldly
We didn't realize how serious it was til you put your hand on me.

Dictating out of your element,
you crawled under our skin.
We thought that living room,
Would become a sanctuary of sin.

Tension could have been cut from the air,
helping us to breathe
I didn't know of the warning
Still we collectively wanted you to leave

A reliance on violence creates ages of defiance

Every topic with a twisted stance
We were riding on good vibes,
You wanted no part in that dance

Happy you confirmed that we weren't demons,
But you expressed audible blades for no reason.
In attempts to cut all of us you wanted to put a leash on.
For here in America being severely damaged is always in season
Manipulating and regulating a life less than half lived
Getting yours should never be the only reason you give.
Beating the **** out of somebody is what you expressed you wanted.
Touch someone I love, and I'll make sure that you're haunted
One, already lives looking over their shoulder
You sneak up, making their bright days colder.
Crushing spirits like a boulder

Tweaker livin'

Chasing roles to fill black holes in your soul
See beyond yourself, day by day losing control
We still chose to see the good, despite you being riddled with dark
Biting tongues, because anything could have been your spark

A split second in my cranium
I was overwhelmed with delirium
When you grabbed my wrist, putting a halt to our stream of bliss
Where I thought violence was appropriate,
The guitar on my lap, an instrument of creation
Completely fluctuated and almost became one of destruction.  

It was as if I felt what you were feeling with your hand touching me
Felt anger enough to see that you wanted to crush the we
Not sure why you followed us to the fest.
But you within our vicinity was an interesting test of restraint.
Tried showing you warmth, but you'd have none of it.
I hope you see life from a new perspective one day, and unconditionally love it.

Sorry we ditched you there, but our friend living in fear of you isn't fair.

Get yo head right, before "The final scene" you spoke of comes true.
A seed of hurt was planted long ago, exponentially it grew.
So high you wanted to take the sunlight from us all, only so we can't have it.

*Just be careful what you wish for, because this life is magic~
1.5k · Mar 2013
A sewer rat's existence
RyanMJenkins Mar 2013
The dialogue,
The volume,
The content..
It gets better right?

The petty,
The put-downs,
Vocal *****...
Too often why I'm up at night.

And Irresponsibility.
Yet I'm the sewer rat not living up to my ability.

The toxic street withers me,
Too much debt to free,
I can predict the machines' actions almost constantly.

The happenings follow me,
What I see hollows me,
Will I ever emerge from this filth triumphantly?

It's the insanity I wake up to,
The vanity and the same stew.
Sometimes I wonder if this is what I have to go through.

It's grown ever-plain to see,
This isn't the way, that life should be,
But it's tossed onto the pile I've simply named "the pain in me."

No luminosity around to save selves,
Violent sound waves bounce off of every shelf.
Through these waters I have delved,
But no life-preserver,
No help.

I am unable to manipulate,
I'm just part of the tracks.
Desensitization's turned me from an alley cat,
To sewer rat,
Just by being exposed.
So I crawl through these tunnels with nothing but hope,
That there's a way I can go back..
Reverse the de-evolution I suppose,
And return to a world I thought I knew with humanity.
'Til then I scrape on living a life, transparently.
1.5k · Feb 2012
It's hard to fake being okay
RyanMJenkins Feb 2012
I don't know why I let the little things bother me. It used to ruin who I was only constantly. Now I'm just gonna take deep breaths and release, or even workout some more despite insanity. I can sense dishonesty based on what's apparent to me. It is troubling and for it I pay a mental fee. They say that the truth can truly set you free, then again our happiness can be based on what we choose to see.
1.5k · Oct 2015
Eye for an I
RyanMJenkins Oct 2015
No caption could ever capture,
The beauty you created before the perceived disaster.
Now it's almost 5 years since anybody's heard your laughter.  
You were a young grasshopper that quickly rose to a master.
Still you remain a light in the dark, helping us all write out our chapters.
We never met,
but in my heart you are a constant giver.
Your lifeflow inspired me to jump in the river.
A role model, whose human form I'll never get the chance to know.
Eye love you, thanks for teaching me to let go,
Amplifying my mind to grow,
So I could sail sky high from depths so low.
I'll still smile even though shadows have shadows.
One with the current with intent as my paddle.  
Fluid sees release from the chains,
that only were a strangle
You became lucid in the dream,
So fly free my angel.
1.5k · May 2014
~Our Space~
RyanMJenkins May 2014
Electrifying insides much deeper than skin
Rekindling the temple's flame that burns away perceived sin
& Shine in a new light while a new life begins

Into the pond I saw beyond
This span that exists currently
Left me then, besides dread, was the sense of urgency
Along with the notion of taking things so personally

Now's a good time for a lot more breathing
and a lot less worrying

Give me some zaps that will act as a lucid inducer
Insane synapse blasts across my tribal mind maps
Programming much faster than a supercomputer
Inside the Youniverse, past mask diffuser

Crafting within the infinite,
Based on each individual intention
Everything changes from each shift in perception

Let all the walls fall releasing the demons in the form of apprehension

You're beautiful the way you are, a floating eyedea of perfection~
Let's ride the wave, and soul-surf to glory
Splash on the canvas within each page of the story
RyanMJenkins Jun 2014
Gaining wisdom,
Listening to Mos Def
Not to be boxed in by the quadrant of the bass clef,
Because I like the melodies of the treble.
If Eye am to live a life to be confined, then call me a rebel.

Letting out all that was repressed
Counting blessings instead of stresses
Picking up messes &
Preparing for the test
To invest in myself,
in you
Diving below the depths to see what's true~

The interest accrues
But there's no use -
in paying these taxes to factions
When they should be subtracted from the equation
For exacerbating trivial situations

til we see the answer is One

You have the control, a full mind\body/soul collaboration

Sort out ya chakras and rebuild your nation
Plant seeds and reverse the deforestation

Let creativity fill your wounds and be captivated by fascination

Follow your own soul
Guided by sensation
Close your eyes and breathe, if ya need, some quick elation
...Away from frustration or the contemplation on the
"right" choice.

Just share your innermost genuine voice,
Keep the soil moist,
& the stem strong in order to stay poised

Lose the armor
For you are formless
In a state of vulnerability,
We are never dormant
But rather, open to the occupants
that we can't even see
Let your heart explode with love and you'll know what it's like to be free.

Don't open up though, and we'll be doomed to repeat

Be not afraid to call upon the Youniverse
Disperse what you rehearsed
before your vessel is within another in the confines of a hearse.

Weird to hear, but we can't wait for one more day.
It could be anyone's last grain of sand,
So by all means,
Say what you have to say~

You have a gift,
& It's called the present
Living with the ability to lift,
and make others' lives pleasant.
Muster every ounce of love and drift,
Right into another's essence

You hold the power in your hands, reach out~
..You'll never go hungry..
*Giving vital lifeforce to those experiencing drought
1.4k · Mar 2012
Acrostic Topic
RyanMJenkins Mar 2012
Running endlessly through a buffet of what life has to offer
Yelling, screaming, kicking, pleading because they didn't get what they wanted
Anytime's fine, unless the time's right now
Never can get what you want boy, you know that's not allowed.

Making crafts out of what no one would take a chance on
Anything'll do right now under the right circumstance son
Teetering towards a heavily weighted decision.
This is what causes the opposing forces into collision.
He knew what many felt should happen, but he also knew what was in his heart.
Entering this mode of thinking he felt, "then why hadn't they all thought this way right from the start?"
"Winning" could bring about closure, but it could also bring proper exposure.

Jumping for joy because people were on the same page.
Every single person, an actor on life's stage.
Nevermind what had made them different before,
Kings and queens they now all are, with only the whole world to expore (and beyond)
Insight made everything feel right and all the people now did bond.
Nights and days, rang out cheers and praise to you and the stars above
Seeing to be true what was always saught, the utopia of love.
RyanMJenkins Apr 2013
Sentimental ******
Academically flunking
Connecting dots and debunking
Seeing past what you see luck in
Black hole my foot's sole is stuck in
Seemingly strategically ducking
Prodding problems and plucking moments,
But losing grip on how to hold it

Encouraging misfit
Brainstorming ******
Monotonous yet intricate
Everyone's just so full of it
Give it and soak in the showers of despair
The equilibrium storms a new batch of flowers through prayer
The one you always wanted wasn't there
Yet there's always someone with a moment of care to spare

Petty instance through another's glasses could be colossal
A piece of scratch paper to one could be a fossil.
Dare to go against what some deem as impossible
Every individual is a fractal within the kaleidoscope
But even fragments can learn to see the beauty of the whole.

When the music stops sometimes it hurts even more
Melancholy water tides rise and begin to roar
Mental dialogue so active it should be a sport
Fill the report, try not to contort
Sometimes the finish line is reached faster with cohorts
It helps to know when you've gone too far, abort.

A soul alone in a sea full of black
Hard to see past what I lack with this past, there's no going back
Blind to the track, so where am I going?
Hard to invest trust when there's so much not knowing.
Still rowing, but there's a hole in my boat
I question the universe as to why I still stay afloat.

A world of perfection that's full of skewed mirrors
Objects in mind may seem more deviating than they appear
Risks risk regret when not taken due to fear
Let go of misconceptions and substitute a perception that we're meant to be here.

It's nice to believe in something
Whether Allah or the theory of string
Yet holding on too tight can eventually sting
I've been open to the infinite, but what will it bring?

As a patient, if the medicine was patience I may've died already.
The ride's going at lightspeed and is anything but steady.*  
But now I'm unbuckling the seatbelt, to feel every planetary pothole
I will succeed only when I realize my place in the ship,
I am in control.

Parting the waves
See past the grave
There's still love for the depraved
Hell is within us all,
And we all can be saved.

The way will be shown
Remember, There once was a time that you didn't know.
Semi-controversial with the introspective flow,
But this is the method I choose to potentially map out my growth.
1.3k · Dec 2013
My late, furry friend
RyanMJenkins Dec 2013
I was riding high until some thoughts passed by.
Saw a few pictures and memories flooded the very limited space in my head
Levees feel like they're about to break through tear ducts, yet still afraid to cry.
But now, at this point there's been many I shed

Very sensitive connections kept us together.
You couldn't speak English, but still spoke through your action
Came by my side during storms that I could not weather.
I wish I knew how fast your time was passing

Sometimes I took your companionship for granted
Often not investing thought in the moment.
Stood by me, even when life.. I couldn't stand it
Now I'm thinking about your fate and how I wished I could've controlled it

Anytime I was home, you made me conscious of your calls
Whenever I was in my own bed you made sure to join me
It's as if now, without you, I'm getting withdrawls.
A bond beyond brotherhood draped in comfortability

The week I house sat for my mom, will remain with me always
Laying on the floor depressed, not only because you were dying
Still get choked up, knowing we showed each other love, before your next phase
But to keep you alive, some witnissed to see how hard I was trying

Weeks later after I moved, I woke up in Nevada thinking "where'd Austin go?"
I swear I felt you, and thought you were there, even though it may've not made sense
Know you're still in my heart, and were always so blissfully pleasant to hold.
I still feel you, and will always make room for your presence

You were the one cat I knew that would actually jump into my arms from the floor, on command.
You held on, never scared as if you didn't wanna let go
Literally wrapped your paws around my neck in a hug-like embrace, or should i say - little hands.
Spent more time together than most of the humans I know

I miss you buddy, and the feelings haven't changed.
Some may think caring this much about an animal is strange.
Truth is we're all animals, and I'll see you at the next stage <3
RyanMJenkins Sep 2013
Something big is going to happen. I've felt this way for awhile. It is beyond any single human, and affects the entirety of the planet as we know it. We have been taken for fools for too long but we, my friends, have power in numbers. More and more I see that there are so many of us, "conspiracy nuts," who are only delving down these roads to better the save the world. I've seen the growth of love within myself, as well as all of you who are awake, more than ever before. We are far more powerful than they give us credit for, for, we have eyedeas..which cannot be tortured, erased, or fall to an unfortunate overdose. Do not fear, but also do not abandon hope. We must ride high on our own energy.. our collective energy, which also, cannot be destroyed. We must spend this energy wisely. We must follow our intuition, against all opposition until the perceived end. Whether we see it with our physical eyes or not, the positive changes we believe in are coming..

If you're not living it already, it's time to be the change, and stand up for what you know in your heart to be true. Not what your mind tells you, silence it. Not what the media tells you, press the power button, recycle the papers. We must learn to see how we are all connected, and there are those who will stop at nothing for personal power. I want what's best for all, and what has gone on for countless years has only dampened our spirits and kept us in line, distracted.

Get out of bed, it's time to wake up.
RyanMJenkins Feb 2012
I see things everyday to potentially get me ******,
I want to change it but what hurts the most is rarely do I really feel missed.
Bliss gets whisked away, and though I try to get by my mind goes into disarray.
I want to go out and play,
have some fun outside of this hole,
but not much is ever really under my control.
I binge and cringe at how my past actions could've left me.
Girls and friends came and went,
and there were times I felt like a deadbeat.
From what I wasn't told, 22 really is old.
But I feel so much older.
Words are actions too, and they can crush you like a boulder.
I'm almost always cold and want something to warm my soul before this world chips too much at my head for it to take it's toll.
I always want to know,
but I get ever more aware how much the truth really hurts.
I guess it's best to take it when it comes in little spurts so you can at least prepare yourself for the road up ahead.
Maybe it's miniscule, to you, things that were said.
For me it was more than trivial, and boom, another scar to my head.
I don't wanna give you the wrong idea but so much of our everyday is left unclear
and what's worse than feeling of fear is the probability of the actions behind it.
In life I have learned the hard way, but despite whatever happens,
there'll be a day I won't mind it.
1.2k · Dec 2015
RSE 20
RyanMJenkins Dec 2015
Had a stellar time last night at the Rhymesayers 20 year anniversary show.  
A lotta these cats have done so much for my soul, that I finally remember the me in the dream that I forget to know. With inspiration so deep we can tap into this eternal flow.  I now see into the water clearly, all ripples calmed and all 3 eyes are no longer dreary.  This goes to anyone that can hear me, you must let the walls fall to notice all of life's endearing.  I have a collection of blurry pictures of mindful Mic wizards, that I have so much respect for - just to shake their hands I would walk through a blizzard.  My lover Meg and I drove 12 hours altogether on very little sleep.  The amount of appreciation I have for her only grows more and more deep.  Even when we're cold she'll still fan my flames.  On the path we're on, we still have so much to gain.  The amount of love that surrounds us, an overly-rational mind would deem insane..  But you can never see the big picture when you're staring at the frame.  Ty Kraus and Mr. Nick Ramsey joined our adventure.  Through beautiful December weather, to have a great time and witness magic was our only endeavor.  We did what we set out to, mission accomplished.  Sat astonished and basked in Brother Ali's dropping of knowledge.  All act's crafts were so polished, and I feel like Micheal Larsen, was right there among all of this.  I don't think anyone said R.EYE.P once, probably because you weren't resting.  Inside the good vibes of the alive family you were nesting.  Eyedeas never die, which is why rhymesayers came to life.
They paved the way for many artists' lives to walk in to the light.  Building a metaphysical castle one intent at a time.  I may not be on the label, but I've been recreated through my own saying of rhymes.
Got to tell Slug once he inadvertently saved my life.  This groundbreaking moment ended with, a photo, and a signed tee I wore for the first time last night.  For me, there really is no end in sight.  We've got the Blueprint and Abilities to know all is and will be alright.  I just wanna thank you all, for helping me see my stripes.  I hope I can do the same without being a stain on your might.  Thanks for helping me believe in me, and please keep painting with your divine insight.
One love~
1.2k · Nov 2013
Today marks 5 years
RyanMJenkins Nov 2013
No one knows how long it'll last
But We all have a time limit,
This is why we can't spend too much time on the past,
But we should definitely learn from it.

Whether it be, the things we could have done,
Or the things we regret we did,
We remember those close to us but are now gone.
Kinda makes you wish you could go back to being a kid.

The carefree days,
When everyone was outside and played.
Even as a little me, I knew the people wouldn't always stay
Just made the most of the time i had with people, it was the only way.

But for my dad and I we never had a bond while I was growing up.
Not knowing, and even having a grudge against the man was surely rough.
I just knew, the life I had, it wasn't enough.

I always knew there was something more, something to look forward to.
I knew people would die along the way, but I didn't think it'd be you.
Nothing but a few myspace messages, a hat, and a picture will I have to reminisce
18 years is too long to hold a grudge, after all you n ma were the reason for my genesis.

I thoroughly enjoyed the conversations we had, finding out we have so much in common,
To you telling me how great of a person mom is.
You didn't have to tell me though, it was more for you.
It's too bad you were never here to watch as I grew.

I turned 18 November 2, 2thousand and 8
not a great day, but life was straight.
It was maybe a few months after our 2nd message convo
exactly 2 weeks later and our chances of meeting were no more

Said you wanted to fly me down, maybe around christmas
meet the whole family, clear things up between us.
you didn't say that last 5, but I definitely knew we would've
If the opportunity came up sooner, I definitely knew we could've.

14 days after that birthday
I get blown up on Myspace, to the news that you passed away.
Your sister, and your ex-lover both told me.
I was in shock, a whole range of emotions that no one would see.

Right then I had to write a letter of consent
To grant your wish, to be cremated
Nowhere did i go, or even turn to anyone to vent
Regretting my lifelong grudge, that I had created.

Justin would've done it, but I was the eldest son
Clicked "send" on the fateful email, and my only gift to you was done
Well dad, while you were here I hope you had a lot of fun.
Too bad the stress and the powder ultimately ended your run

I have close friends, that wanted to go with to meet you
It's too unfortunate that your struggle had to defeat you.
We would've kicked it off better than either of us could anticipate
From that point on I knew you'd always be in my life, and participate.

I'm not gonna blame you for anything though, based on what I know now, you were a great person.
The one you never knew, is always gonna be a hurt son,
But i'm not gonna take my life for granted.
I'm gonna appreciate what I have and not fret if things don't go how I planned it.

Not gonna lie though, there's a void that'll never see closure
When I think about you it's sometimes hard to keep composure
You and me, we would've been good for each other.
You'll still live on though, through me, and my brother.

Accepting your loss, affects me more than anyone'll ever know
Can't get stuck, gotta look forward and grow.
It's extremely hard sometimes, but I know I must.
Just like you said on your profile "IN ROD WE TRUST"

Rest in Peace:

Rodney Poehler 12/12/70 - 11/16/2008
this poem's almost 4 years old, stumbled upon it the other day..
RyanMJenkins Aug 2012
Poured a cup of fruit juice to see it was only 5%
Artificially coating life, never tasting the truth of what it meant.
My motivation space in my brain is vacant, and open for rent.
Sorry if you have to share it with a guy on the inside that's seemingly hell-bent.

Parents shed your clarity and wisdom, as oppose to letting your anger fill them.
Screams in dreams rip me out of my fantasy right at the seams, and maybe,
Maybe I'll never know what it means.
Some could view me right now as apathetic,
but those are the same that see my words as babble, because they just don't get it.
I think I've stopped caring about the criticism,
Because I stay within the confines of my individualism.
Your judgements put walls around me, restrictions I don't need.
I realize we're different, down to the music on which we feed.
No one wants to see how we're similar,
Always casting categories to the unfamiliar.
***** the false idea that you live up to
The only way out is being Through, with all the *******,
No more wrongdoings to persist.
I could speak forever, and for those who've listened, I hope you get the jist.
I'm ****** to remain in a state with people of a similar fate because we let it.
You must have it made if you're one who doesn't get it.
1.2k · Aug 2018
Dog Days
RyanMJenkins Aug 2018
Fell through the lion's gate maybe sippin' too much of Mercury's Gatorade.  Head all over the space still forcing construction so the levee won't break.  I barely leave my mind when I get heavy for heaven's sake.  Hard to translate the mental pain when so many seem to exist on different planes.  I reside in light and shadow so I know none of this is strange.  I've taken off the mask but haven't gotten out the stains.  Ego popped up and tried labeling the experience as delirious.  Yet I can't recall E existing with long periods of fearlessness.  I'm releasing repressed emotion B, cheers - here it is.  Time to shed the shell of what was, this is Sirius.
RyanMJenkins Jun 2013
i walked into the night,
and felt the cool air's breeze.
stepping away every once in awhile
usually gives me enough to release.
in an attempt to sober up from binge thinking,
i noticed i was alone, moreso than usual.
not a single car on the street,
no single individual.

this is common after midnight
but i thought there had to be someone who is also deprived of sunlight.
it was then that i was blinded by unusual headlights
on a vehicle known as hindsight.  
abandoned the instincts of fight or flight,
because i was curious.  
it turned into my driveway.
it felt as though there were some undiscovered forces at play,
as i lay in wait.

the door opened up, and a man with a bright white aura stepped into view.
i gazed upon his face and then was at a complete loss as to what to do..
he looked at me, smiled, and said, " yes, that particular thought is correct,
i am you.

you needed someone, and so here we are.  
see this distance between you and your true self aren't so far apart.
it gets hard, when dealing with passions of the heart,
but every day, every minute...moment, can be a new start."

Everything happens as it's meant to, though, right?

" destinies are in the hands of everyone who believes it,
but most don't see to seize it."

are you, God? an Angel?  a jester in disguise?

"you naturally won't want to accept this statement initially,
but i will tell you no lies.  i am from a faction of lightbearers,
to help illuminate the path.  the variables you add and subtract though, changes the outcome like math, heh heh."

where am i to go?

" you are not to know, yet, what's the fun in that?"

true, but then what about this,' shedding light on the path'?

"all that is within you, is everything.  unlimited potential and power to benefit the universe.
before i disperse back into the cosmos, i am here to ensure that your own light grows.  the love you emit causes radiated blooming within the chakras of others, but your aura has diminished, do you know why this is?"



but wait..

" embrace all that you are, Ryan.  i needed to remind you that you are loved deeply.  take care of yourself, so to not be the cause of your own reaping.  your efforts are never exhausted, i see and appreciate all you do, with a smile.  now go the extra mile, cross the line and let your divine shine through.  you are never alone, remember things from the past you wrote.  every word still holds true.
i must be leaving, but listen to what's inside when you're unsure of what to do.  Namaste, Ryan."

but wait! who really are you??

as I stood in bewilderment, he ascended into the sky with a smile, and his vehicle disappeared.  
would this interaction have happened had i displayed my primal urges of fear?
when he was no more than a sparkle in the eye that is the ever-expanding sky
i didn't feel so dry and lifeless, but rather moist with creative juices from all that sunk in.
and the warmth, it was a love you could touch without touching.
this is what i was missing.
and so when reminiscing, i show gratitude and blissful appreciation,
because too much can be lost in the translation of contemplation.
RyanMJenkins Dec 2012
Drooling from pharmaceuticals,
and being told what's beautiful.
Recklessly using our mandibles,
and idolizing party animals.
No time to get personal,
Cuz I must go out and buy the product being scammed on this commercial.


Intelligence being blinded by fear,
So many don't pay mind, too full of beer
and confused why they can't see clear,
or even eye to eye with their closest peer.

Time spent pointing fingers
and wondering why "bad luck" lingers.
A society high on measurements and value measured by possessions.
The "Iwant" society diseased with obsessions.

Sold opinions with television and magazines,
Never realizing the atrocities behind the scenes.  
More psych evaluations and pills to swallow,
Or open love connections and spirituality to follow?

Many homeless, while uninhabited homes shows a higher amount.  
Pop-culture won't show ya, can the counter-culture even count?  
Fatty fast food paired with fast athletes, just to get a meager billion some dollars. 
There's still time to change though, which is why we need to bother.
Too cheap to buy selfless items, well then at least pay attention.  
See me for clarity, there's a wealth of info I didn't mention.
RyanMJenkins Oct 2013
I am
calling for my spirit guide
to take me back to the lost haven of Atlantis.

Various medias
Reach out to bug me,
so I'm praying while they lie in wait like a mantis.  

Dark lords
Rain down plagues that sicken the mind,
but I have the light which illuminates my advantage.  

And so
Into Imagi-nation
I can successfully vanish,
MANifesting a tangible reality,
Proving I'm not one they can manage.

was never against Nurture,
but the battle plays on just as they planned it.  

You're more powerful than those behind screens,
and your dreams will live when you demand it.  

Think of your thought as a seed and plant it.  

See your life within your third eye,
It's now time to revamp it.

Your vessel has been flying low seeking love,
It's already within you
-land it-

We are one*
Once you understand it,
Unto the you-niverse
you can hand it

Spark a fire of compassion and fan it

is how,
We expand bliss.

The list requires
initiating imagination
(like when we were kids)

Miracles exist

So long as you allow yourself to believe it
1.1k · Jun 2013
A Mind's Paradise
RyanMJenkins Jun 2013
The sound
The look
The taste
The touch

It's all a perfectly painted portrait you privately processed, patched with hope.

The certainty
The promises
As the days pass us

The roundabouts regularly revisiting rocky ravines reassure us to hold on to that rope.

The visions of fantasies
The feelings combust

Passionate portrayals with punctual pauses providing positivity to possibly promote premonitions

In truth we trust

To transcend temptations of trivial trickeries by treading on tip-toes through troubled trebutaries

To let go, seems a must.

Hallucinations from a lack of sleep, are leading me into a field of dreams. There I find that *anything's possible, and nothing is really what it seems.
anger....worry...fear..mistrust.  It's danger hurry and make it disappear, we must.  Don't rush, slow down,  and carefully craft guiding each piece of string unto that gown.  Let the walls fall, and seize your call.  Never let a moment persist in which you regret it all
1.1k · Apr 2013
Temple Inside Me Eternally
RyanMJenkins Apr 2013
These arbitrary measurements are killing me. Swiftly flies by without ever catching a glimpse of the sky. I go on and tiptoe through a temple where no one knows me, and then later regurgitate my soul in the form of poetry.  I have a big heart, but my ill mind sometimes controls me.  Other times I force myself to climb along the cliffside in an attempt to let the past free, so I won't be squeezed by thoughts unsettling.  My synapses are meddling, but I can't blame them, for truly it's my fault.  I have to re-train them, but first I must open up the vault.  
Long-lasting actions sadden, while the hands move in a circular pattern always towards madness..  I must leave this palace.  Mental waves of malice, where'd I put my chalice?  So much on my plate, that I pushed it aside and decided I didn't care to eat.  I won't accept defeat, yet I don't wanna face it.  If only I could just embrace it.  More than just to taste it, I swallow pseudo-panacea, a potion that sets more debatable mistakes in motion.  
Steer me to the ocean, let's get lost at sea.  No sense of time to abide by, thoughts roam silently.  Waves may rush violently, but I'll be one with the water.  I'll be in the current, flowing with the current so no longer will I falter.  Alter my perspectives, and brave foreign lands.  The only task that matters is the task at hand.  It's all my demand, and so I say time means nothing.  What's true is right now, so everyone can stop rushing.  Find the temple inside you, and turn work into play.  I will forever see you in my temple, friend, namaste.
1.1k · Jul 2013 gets better
RyanMJenkins Jul 2013
Another day, riding on emotion
Seldom ever breaks down
but I don't have the potion,
To fuel my being.
Lucky to be alive
but there's something I'm not seeing.
Lapped around similar 'scapes
Falling all the time,
with all the scrapes to prove it.
My body itself is a high-powered vehicle,
just hope I don't lose it,
Prematurely with the things I've been doing.
Sometimes I see surroundings pass by but
it doesn't feel like I'm moving.
Reach out to those that could use it
Lead them away from the mentally abusive.
I'm still there though,
the expression on my face even looks weak.
Guess I just hit bleak patch,
but again I'll maintain a satisfying streak
Innocence never left,
But the breaths are slowing.
Used a bit of what I had left to fill up an inner tube,
My body's too weak to maintain how I'm flowing.
So I drift off, into another realm.
A place where people are underwhelmed
And stay to help each other grow.
This place exists at a point in time, but when,
I may never know.

So I'm taking a vacation from my mind
that constructs an absurd blur,
Keep living for the kids and kisses,
and moments that creates blisses
Love and writing are my life preservers~
RyanMJenkins Dec 2012
Love, love is for, but not limited to all beings.

It is warmth, it is hurt, it is teaching.

It's ever-encompassing and should have rules only done through it.

Love can guide you if you spread it, so do it.

It also has the power to cause some to shy away or resort to fleeing,

while some are left searching for meaning.

Some want to control that for which they have the word in mind...

They then create a bind and blind themselves because they're not seeing real reasons

to why they loved at all.

Unconditional love is something not just out of a tale that's tall.

It's the reason why you fall,

but authenticity leaves you never smashing against the ground.

If there's love, there's no reason one should feel so bound and tied down

...both creating sounds that reveal the anti.

Love is your wings that gets you sky high.

Love is limitless, and should be cherished.

Love is not a point system, so stop giving demerits.

When love really flows in you, through and through,

you acknowledge the connections and let you be you,

acting out of kindness.

You stand up for what you feel is right because fear is spineless.

So act out of love.

There's too much negative energy, let's act out of love.

Together we can rise above, let's act out of love.
1.1k · Aug 2013
So, let it out
RyanMJenkins Aug 2013
It seems to me,
That we live oh so,

Dreaming up hypotheticals
Without ever leaving the windowsill.

A stand-still, if you will.

What good is a man's word
if most of the feelings go unheard.
Unable to project outwardly into the world they think they know.
Whether real life or fantasy

I believe

That the collective extent of imagination, is me.

Or at least part.

How lost is a man, whose demeanor shows no heart?
One beats, but one seeks passionate adventure right from the start.
How will he know of the ecstasy that lives within you and me?
Maybe we should go up to him and hug him, enchanted by electricity.

Synapses fire
But the soul flows.
Breathe deep,
Watch the seed of hope grow
Tomorrow never knows,
Now may be all we have
Let's let go,
It pains me to see you sad

Changes are the strangest,
Yet a fascinating constant.
Go in your own direction,
Before you wonder where everyone went
You've made a dent but cant prevent
The relentless ambush of signals
Steering you away.
It's hard, I know it is.
Be the light to shine your way,
and stray from the unscrupulous.
The times burned are lessons learned,
Take charge of that which you've yearned.
The ingredients are there, you just have to stir.
Share the fruits of your labor
To the open, closed,
The in-betweens,
And those yet  to be exposed.
The spirit is stronger than
Our brains currently interpret.
Inside the insight is where we undoubtedly flourish.

Let's please,
Feed each other if we're malnourished
Let the emotions come to the surface,
To break free and find our purpose
Don't be nervous, show no fear.
We all pass on,
But we're always here.
I just feel we must leave a legacy,
That won't disappear.

Reincarnated to influence
and reproduce love.
In my absence, I've still got your back
From the cosmos above,
within, and all around.
We can never stop the learning process, while handing out all we've found.
Symmetrical symphonies without even making a sound.
..So we'll let the soundtrack to existence play..
But remember,
Every word becomes a part of the experience,
Even that, which you do not say.
RyanMJenkins Feb 2013
The winter outside is cold,
But the pale skin pales in comparison to the ice in peoples' hearts.

We're deprived of organic necessities and forced into community peasantries,
That rely on the institutions as much as Wal-Marts.

Historical facts are often masked by watered-down history books.
What if I told you the facets of your life
Are managed by murderers and crooks,
That **** the livelihood on all who're deemed below?
They've all the world-wide power within their grasps,
Yet to none other than blood will they bestow.

The media's mediated control over our minds,
Refusing to let you grow and flourish.
Throwing pesticides on what you choose to chew,
Yet we tend to believe we're well-nourished?

The sky has been taken over, with contaminates and missiles.
Confined with egg shell on our feet,
Because we've chosen to blindly oblige government officials.

The relationship is similar to that of scientists and lab rats.
We put our best efforts in for a minuscule piece of cheese,
While they make money off of you while producing more as they please.

So maybe we wanna follow our dreams,
And earn degrees to ensure that* We really are Somebodies,
...Then fall into a dark debt hole for doing so,
Barely able to find jobs in the fields we gave our whole.

..Then we rush to the polls..

High on promises and a "better America",
Forever blinded by the Right and Left paradigm
That you don't realize those you've been arguing with are right there with ya!

This regime we're under, it's been said, follows a model of the Roman empire.
The Revolutionaries that exemplified love, justice, and courage,
Are being picked off to this day, and you still think I'm just here to conspire?
Well there's an opening now, I'm gonna take it
And spread truth against all those that forsake it until my body is to retire.
I may go down without a blaze of glory, but I won't be known as a liar.
If you don't take a stand with me, know that you too will fall prey.
Invest time into knowledge and self-awareness,
So that one day peace and honesty will find a home in the land of the brave.

This world's a brutal business, manipulative and cold.
But it can't compete with the heat emitting from my soul.

We are one, help each other thrive, all while having fun.
The conscious revolution will emerge, before our time here is done~

One love, that's all the ranting for today
I hope peace is with you, Namaste.
1.0k · Sep 2013
Too heavy to hold
RyanMJenkins Sep 2013
Just when I feel everything seems to be coming together, I take a step back. What do I really funking want? The college idea sounds promising, and I'd be going to learn more about music and advance in that respect. Great. I've been paying on debts for a long time now. I don't mind having little money, but I've literally been working just to pay off school. I've been chiseling away at it, and if I jump to this new school, that amount I owe increases exponentially. Yet, after that 3-year contract, I will have a degree. That degree will help me make money to pay off said debts and then maybe let me live a comfortable life, but right now I don't even know if I am comfortable with the idea. I look at all that I could do in this world (that doesn't require pieces of paper {money/degrees} to assure someone that I am worth something) and I almost feel it'd be more satisfying. I am here on this Earth, to help people. I know this. I would be happy being a nomad, (as I pretty much have been) poor, bringing light into peoples' lives that money can't buy. I moved away to better myself, and I'm growing everyday, but I feel maybe I could be taking myself away from my purpose. I have far too much on my mind to be content with surviving within the confines that we are set to live in to be "successful." The American dream sounds wonderful, but it only exists when we find true happiness. I'm not certain that any one institution or career will give me the peace that I get from the help that I try to provide. I want to be a part of so many movements, I want what's right for the entirety of the planet, but I'm not sure that I would be accomplishing that. I want to grow spiritually, first and foremost, and help others heal and grow too. It makes me uncomfortable to be pushed into such heavy obligation decision making processes if I don't even know if it will make me happy. Of course, this stems from me being unhappy in the present moment, but there has to be a reason for all this.

I think part of this is, I am not simply here, to help myself. I have so much care invested into the universe and all living things that I can't simply focus on myself. I have to be out there, here, India, anywhere, helping. Helping people helps me. Before I really wanted to be a musician, at a young age I wanted to be the person that talks to others as they lay on a couch so I can help them get through emotional and spiritual barriers, to beat their demons and grow to infinity and beyond. But I always feel like there is far more that I could be doing. I've never really felt anything I've done was ever enough, so maybe this is my way of protecting myself and others from let downs. I gleamed with excitement, just hours ago. Only to realize that, I don't know. The only promise I feel we have and can make, is that we're here now. Maybe sometimes we aren't though, because part of what some of us live in is a self-induced fantasy. I'm blessed for all I've been through, and all I have...yet I seem to have, grown weary of a path that has presented itself. When I know what's right, I will go full speed ahead putting all of me into it. There's this thing we made up called time though, it's those measurements that hurt, and can create panic. I live for moments, but in this moment I am at a loss.

A wonderful person very recently asked me, what my biggest fear is, and I couldn't give a definitive answer for her, but ultimately I guess it's not leaving my mark enough. Ego aside, I am here to make this place better for all of humanity, and I don't know if these choices will aid in that, especially since we can't even guarantee tomorrow. Maybe not knowing is the beauty of it all, but maybe this is exactly what I needed right now.

In this moment I will call it a midlife crisis. I can say that too, because no one knows how much "time" we have.

I'm out of here though, spending time and money. I hope whatever course you take, that you're happy...truly. I care about all of you, and will be there when you need me, in this existence or the next. I have much excitement for what's beyond the world we know...but this current one, currently is tearing me in multiple directions, as it has before. I know I will be okay and find my way. My mind was just too heavy, to keep to myself this time.
1.0k · Feb 2017
Existential paranoia
RyanMJenkins Feb 2017
Words. Work.
Getting old. ***** shirt.  
Exhaustion remains after washing away stains from dirt.  
Lower back hurts,
..but this mindstate is not where I'll stay.  
Meaningless pay spending my hours when I just want to create and play.  
Heavy body, cat nap after embers hit the ashtray.  Astral stray.  
The most nutritious are sometimes the first to decay.  
Get up just to lay.  
Easy to see darkness when there's no heart in the frame..  

So I'll adjust how I see, and remember to breathe,
because all of life comes to us with ease.  
Gonna physically release just to come back and share my dream
Yes yes, nothing less.  
Do what you love
is all I can confess.  
Limited time, I see that we're blessed
Hope to make the most of mine,
before in peace we rest

Death sentence. Moral Repentance.
In the age of remembrance blinded by pyrotechnics.  
Embody the calisthenics and honor further than aesthetics.  
Depths beyond measurement kissing anti-venom lips.  
Tethered to the weather within our steady blissful trips.  
The clock can tick all it wants but the hands are losing their grip.  Proving nothing to be more beautiful than this present-tense eclipse
Intuition is our intangible compass
Creating a compassionate instance that can't be diminished
I am hear forever to play with the trinkets and parade those that listen
Love is all encompassing, not just a mission
Thoughts come to fruition
Extending what you envision
The Synapse fires like a piston
What you've done indicates your current position.  
Think now my friend.
 You are the sun shining at the podium speaking at the perceived end.  
You are the sum dictating everything yet to come.  
Thank you for praising the vibration connected to one.  
Take a deep breath, smile, and have fun.  
This strong web we've achieved can never be unspun.
Reflect your true self and know we've only just begun~
1.0k · Sep 2013
RyanMJenkins Sep 2013
Not gonna lie, I've been having a hard time.
Gonna be another night coping through life with a rhyme.
It's how I provide zest and flavor with a squeeze of lime.
About to be, twenty three, but still don't feel I've reached my prime.
The growing process never ends, always here to hear but it's always hard for me to find an ear that'll lend time when I'm not fine.
It just falls in line, with the proper arrangement of events.
Looking back I never wonder where the tick tocks went.
This is me, cuz I needed to release, like the cool air from a vent.
Reaching out to some seemed like ill moments spent.
Yet, the care was there, no denying or trying to prevent.
I love you all, but don't you see?
I'm just tired of all the superficiality.
We grow to infinity, we are souls of divinity,
Connectivity replenishes me, but these times
Make me realize it comes from more than just people.
The nature of everything gets me higher than those churches' steeples.
Aerial view, seeing perspectives askew.
My only problem is not knowing exactly what to do.
I have so much to prove, and I'm not one to lose
So many substances have been used, my body's abused.
But I am here alive, seeing the new,
and it was based on every choice I decided to choose.
So I'll draw sunshine, even when feeling blue.
In a bout with doubt, taking a higher route
True in that I'm here for you,
But I need a special kind of rain,
from a special wave's spout,
And proper sparks in my brain
That'll bring about life in this drought.
RyanMJenkins Dec 2012
I've been coasting quietly with an eye on society.
One eye's looking out for the hazards tryna blind me.
While my third eye is looking in, using intuition to guide me.

Sympathetic responses in an exchange for a shot at your wonder bra
I try to veer my course away trying not to expose those manipulations I saw
In myself I invest as a capital and so I'm brushing all the ******* off.

Your 8th pair of shoes?  Yes, another great investment.
I can't help but be disgusted as I bring on feelings of resentment.
So I let go, I gain control, and set my gaze ablaze on another page to vent.

Everyone's in the know, but the quantity of info is so little.
I can't help but scoff as what's viewed as importance is really artificial.
Eye can rise above, but at the same time I'm still in the middle.

Disrespectful kids, with blind belligerent parents.
You want change?  Just look at how your time's spent.
Calmly, look into the past and focus on where the care went.

The assumed superiority is a widespread, and welcomed disease, I'm sick of it.
Most of the privileged majority are better than everyone else and I'm right in the thick of it.
I've gotta change my ways in this maze, now that I've realized how I was depicting it.

The attitudes on display to all,*
While you carry around your expensive worthless items at the mall.
Almost makes me wish your exterior reflected what's inside.
The sneers with pride show that to none you abide.
Sitting on your high-horse, yet ungrateful for the ride.

I'm repulsed by the ****-don't-stink mentality.
In a game of the minds I'd love for some to battle me.
Bring your inner ugly to light and not even find it challenging.
This has snowballed into one big calamity.

Which means it's time to step back and breathe.
If I let it best me then only anger breeds.
So now I close my eyes, and shut out any lies as my mind secedes.
Just work on yourself, Ryan, for only then can the collective truly succeed.
997 · Aug 2013
Just something I needed
RyanMJenkins Aug 2013
I need to breathe the air of outdoor dreams where angels sing to me and I reciprocate the love in perfect pitches that transcend the glitches of the categories we've yet to break free from.  Add up the pixelated pieces to see this, the only sum.  Alone more often than ever before, and I embrace it, but inside the mind's of others I like to explore.  I have way too many words that go unheard for they're kept to me.  I know a soul or infinity x three that I would sell my thoughts to for free.  I've paid a vast amount of fees, literally and physically, but it's making me stronger.  I'll wear a smile to our reunion as the warmth between us extends our life spans even longer.  The bass hits and it gets intense as I hop the fence into your garden.  Pardon me if I seem so hardened, but beneath the exterior are energy waves deeper than lake superior.  I've never burned a bridge but there were many where I chose to stray.  Some bridges crumble on their own so it's sometimes more painful to stay.  If you have nowhere to go with your thoughts though, I'll listen to every word and perfect little fragment that you have to say.  Connected to everything, but sometimes everything seems so far apart.  I don't know how much time I have, but I will be long outlived by the pulse of my heart.  It may be time for a new start with all new faces, newfound vacations, with beautiful unseen places.  I'll leave a trail, pieces of me in case you ever wanna trace it.  Lace up the loose ends cuz you can count on this friend, with all of me to lend.  You know I won't pretend, because I've never been good at lying.  Defiance and reliance rest on opposite poles, but there's love within you enough to make yourself feel whole.   Taking control, going for a walk.  Give me a ring, if you ever wanna talk.  But I need to sing, and rewrite my life in chalk.  This is one of my everyday unwind times because I can't keep up with my rhymes.  I'm showing my spine, but still untouchable.  Things have been rocky, but still so wonderful.  Subtle growth, just like that of a tree.  For all eyes to see, this was a message for me
RyanMJenkins Dec 2015
It is the birth day de mi padre,
I lay, grateful for the conversations before we had to part ways.
Inside of myself I see your face,
Calm, still, and happy fills my summer headspace
The void used to be a bruise to me, and I bumped it all the time.  Subconsciously moreso, but it brought me to my rhymes.  Thanks for helping me realize all will be alright.  It's now 111, I'm seeing special signs.  The beginning only begins once you let it in your mind.  One can never be defined, but my bias helps allow me to see the depth in your eyes.  Eternally a part of the design, reminding spines that they're intricate & divine.  Thank you for your choices, and the genesis it bred.  Thank you for the time, and the warm thoughts to blanket my head.  In the end, it came down to what was said.  I can rest in bed smiling because the timing was perfect, for had you waited to say anything then it would have never been worded.  There stands Mars, staring at the stars.  Inebriated and contemplating just how far you really are.  Imagination fills the dark, in my pocket there's a spark, and when ya wanna speak it will go straight into my heart.
I long left the cage made of rage when I decided to turn the page in order to set the stage.  Unfortunately sometimes it takes a tragedy for us to come of age.  Blessed in the ways we can seize the current day.  Jump in, the water's great, and here comes another wave,~  Underneath the splash crashes I heard my name, it was you, telling me everything is okay - and to float back up and become a mirror for those already saved.  I miss you, and wish you could stay.  I remain a child longing, with a mystery to taste.  So here eye am, unafraid, and destined to forever play among the blades of grass.  Appreciate what was, but know there is no home within the past.  Release the anxious worry over how long on this earth we're going to last.  Over-exerted circuits in the brain retire too fast - which doesn't allow the proper growth to know patience.  Ascension is not always painless.  I once was a patient desperately waiting to be seen.  dabbling around chemistry with a head full of steam.  Then I let go and a black hole swallowed those walls whole, along with the notion that we had no control.  Now I row, straight into my dream with intention.  Hoping to see you there for some sort of healthy lesson.  Apologies to my surroundings for the jumbled mess of stresses.  Embracing it all and cutting away the self to delve with introspection.  Abundantly grateful to exist, and find solace in these confessions.

I love you, Happy birthday Dad, rest easy
12/12/70 - 11/16/08
981 · Jun 2012
Factual Generalities
RyanMJenkins Jun 2012
I know, that I am mostly untrusting,
combusting with thoughts and was lusting for the attention that I know I wasn't gettin'.  

But whatever this is it's not set in stone.  

I think it's getting close to the time where I find a new home.  
I've released all those those attachments that made me feel less than I was,
cuz throughout all the *******, I've risen above.  

I'll show you love, without you making the first move.  
Aint nothin to do but continue ridin' on my life groove.  
You're in or you're out, but that choice is mine 'til I know what you're really about.  
Potentially remove you from my doubts and travel new routes.  

What the hell is this a competition for, it aint fun.  
It's like you're keeping score but don't even know the numbers, with that I'm done.  
This isn't the first time and surely won't be the last.
The way you run from your problems...yeah you really are fast.  
Try scoping out your true identity and then you'll see what's really meant to be.  
I don't know what it is you can't see.  
I think it's about time you set yourself free.
978 · Feb 2013
Curiosity (TheCatLives!)
RyanMJenkins Feb 2013
But Why, and whom does it affect?

Where is it, that the actions will reflect?

When will answers show themselves, when concludes the test?

"I've been wondering for too long!" I protest.

Will I reach, a desired level of clarity?

Will the feat, be much more than a dare to me?

...Curiously I spy forward...

My head's an over-animated scoreboard, emphasizing the score of the opponent

Yet.. Today is a new day.

If the chance is taken, isn't there a possibility that I too fall prey?

True, just like the cat that was killed, or so they say.

Maybe it was just a tale of a tail, given from those too scared to change direction.

Those who follow suit now live in a certain detention, without mention, or ever expanding into the next dimension.  

But what if they had taken the next step?

The conclusion of the saying was something I could not accept,

Now using the unknown as fuel, I leapt..

Not knowing if I could make it

My head was perplexed, riddled with anxiety, I didn't know if I could take it!

With a thump,

My eyes opened up,

Revealing a new reality.

I was guided by faith, and truly believe I've touched on a divine sense of spirituality.

I let go of the naysayers and everyone that had tried using hassling methodologies,

Because I took a necessary leap of faith, in order to better me.

If I failed, I would die trying,

but at least with false beliefs I would not be confined.

Before my eyes, a natural goldmine, beauty previously undiscovered.

I had trusted myself and have never felt so full of wealth, now standing in the land of the lovers.

Everything and everyone had a bright and shiny aura, radiating bliss.

Had I known such a place of magnificence exists,

I would've trusted my intuition more, rather than certain people, and came when we were kids!

Alas, in the midst of all this thinking, I don't even want to be blinking my lids,

Because I no longer want to miss any, of *this

What matters is right here and right now,*

It's seems I've ascended, like I'm on a cloud..

No negativity here, I don't think that it is allowed!

Because this is a new land of possibility

I haven't even moved yet but I'm so glad I didn't retreat!

Then something tickled my legs, right by my feet, looked down and was surprised to see,

A short-haired cat, walking elegantly.  In disbelief I watched it so free, when it popped in my head,

"Are they still talking about me?"

.. Had this cat really just used telepathy??

I wondered if I had been living a dream, and then the cat turned back and winked at me..
977 · May 2013
"Real Talk"
RyanMJenkins May 2013
The future generations scare me.
It's like a constant revolt against parents, apparently.
Everything cool involves *** money or drugs,
And every single one of them thinks they're a ******* ****.
Those things can be cool, no doubt.
But lifestyles can drain lifetimes.  Be  weary what you sprout

These attitudes are infectious, alternate forms of cancer.
Take the "bad *****", while the lover falls for the dancer
-Whose soul is in tune and grooves to the serene energy flow.
Give up the facade that you put up just to put on a show.
Sure it entertains those that don't grow,
And the weak of heart.
No wonder the bridge between us and success is so far apart.

There's a difference between a **** mentality,
And being an idiot.
Tupac did what he could to positively change the world.
Don't let your mark be insignificant.
Be yourself little homies and study close, those you idolize.
Make choices to create something better,
Rather than just fantasize.
It's in your eyes, the hurt, burdens most don't even see.
Believe in yourself enough to follow your passions so you too can be free.  

Turn off the TV, step back and breathe.
Focus less on what you want, and more on what you need.
I am much more than an active observer.
I'm a teacher to those that want to listen,
As well as an every day learner.

Turning away from society's got me happily, singing the blues.
Don't be another product amassing products or you will ultimately lose.
These are just my views, you choose, but I see something grander.
Build up the temple inside yourself with wealth, and share it with the poor.
That's what I feel is something worthwhile to stand for.
968 · Jan 2014
Lost in the cracks
RyanMJenkins Jan 2014
I've been slippin,*
Eventually fell on my ***
Laid there on the concrete,
Evaluated the cracks

There they were connected
Perfect little fragments
A picture to me was reflected
So I picked myself up off the pavement

Then I caught the street lights,
Bright in my peripheral
Standing tall in front of dark houses
Of disconnected individuals

Two for the price of one
Morals half off
Discounted beliefs
Aisle 93, you lost?

Right by the worker,
With the smile upside down
"Which one..?"
It seems each employee's already hit the ground..

But they haven't gotten back up

Don't pay attention
Flip on the telly
Take advantage of those ads
Fill up ya belly

Contact your doctor
Take those pills!
You act with compassion
Surely, you are ill

"Maybe I am
Time to face and confess it
I was happy growing my own medicine
Until I got arrested"

This make up is the best!
Animal tested
You'll be the next pretty face
Thanks for your investment!

It's 5 o'clock somewhere
Let's get beer with the bros!
Bring back some chicks to the crib
Who thinks they can drive home?

So I try to stay away from that reality
Brainwashed to the system
To become an inevitable casualty

So many in that realm
Think they're better than everyone else
Speak in tongues
Just to get the prize on the shelf
Play with it a little bit
Then sneak away in stealth
Get something new
With all the hours you spent for wealth

What about your health?

On the other side of the spectrum
Are the hurt, waiting for the cure-all
Put down by other hurt people
Numb the pain with alcohol
Infectious depressions
Brought to you by society
I'm sorry, but,
It seems like a lot of lies and wasted time to me

Because you're beautiful
And don't ever forget it
Now tell that to the mirror
And remember who said it

And so I delve
Inside myself
Many know what's wrong
Yet too apathetic to help

I can see my ego still alive in me
Take a step back, pause and breathe
Lose identity in the forest, among the trees
Wind from mother nature's lips helps me release
It stimulates my soul, and puts my mind at ease
And when I look up to the sky
I know
I have all I need

-I'm so glad I fell-

I realized I'm beautiful,
& I'll never forget it
I have my own faultlines
Imperfectly splendid
Looked into the mirror
Ride in the eyes - introspective
Then I smiled
But honestly, only because
I absolutely meant it~
964 · Dec 2012
A case of the feels.
RyanMJenkins Dec 2012
A boy drags his feet along aged train tracks uncomfortably alone.
He wonders as he wanders if he'll ever find the deserved sanctuary he can call home.

A drone in a buzzing society, looking past all you see.
Nothing but a suitcase in hand, some would call him free.

But he's lost.  

No GPS or CVS will show him what he needs.
Wallowing in his own misery looking into the night sky with greed.
Is satisfaction, another happening that only comes in threes?
While the melancholy waves rush at him in one-hundred fifteens?


He spots a leaf, only one on the tree, and immediately it falls.
He has a phone, on silence mode because he doesn't answer anymore calls.  
You see he's traveled many greens just to see that the other side wasn't better.
All this time he contemplates mistakes whether or not he should regret her.  
He won't forget her.  
Taken over his mind, surely he's let her.
He bets her life is much better than his own.
Sitting on the side of the crossroads he tried to express how he felt in stone

Unable to grasp any clear emotion, at last he grabs what he's held on to all this time.
This suitcase of his, an eternal abyss, of all that which he'd coped with through rhyme.
The baggage he claims, that have been the remains, of every action he's ever endured.
A riddle was placed on the lock to keep safe, until the time in which he knew he was sure.

"What pumps you up and slows you down, brings forth smiles, but also frowns?"

He thought about it for a minute and heard a coyote howl
Suddenly jumped up from fear, looked around and then let out a smile.  

He knew then, as the tempo to his beat decreased that it was his heart.
The suitcase burst open, and once he looked in,
Realized he was blessed from the start.  
Hard drives worth of memories led him to sin
But also the epiphany that home was always within, and not so far apart.

Feelings burst out and wrapped up his being like a blanket not meant for security.
Embracing reality and letting go of miscues he's intertwined with a glowing sense of purity.
Bloated on love he rises above, and flows on with the wind much like a free balloon.
Sincerity to himself and the world around him made the corners of his mouth curl up to the moon.

The future's unknown but now he'll always be home,
With his heart beating comfortably.
He misses them all, will soon return all phone calls,
Knowing he found where he's meant to be
RyanMJenkins Jan 2016
Sometimes I wonder if we are really all listening
Or just too distracted with the African diamonds glistening
Sold to you by Zales, yet every kiss begins with Kay.  
Fat and lazy fast food crazy
Chasing highs blinded thinking they really have it their way

The devices in our possession finally allow us to progress as one people.  We can connect with others oceans away and together rid the world of evil.  The destructive misuse of power is felt when we see the segregation.  Responsibility has been shed for more tax cuts, when some live unsure they will make it.  Fabricated stories facilitate war - on drugs, ideas, and our collective growth.  
So I must ask
When these tragedies happen, who actually benefits the most?  Making sure to add "terrorist acts" under a potential insurance claim just days before buildings imploded to dust rather than be eaten by flames, or severed with a plane.  The man who did this was named Larry Silverstein.  Interviews after he seemed cold, devoid of soul, and mean.  Arms dealers, oil companies, and bank executives, carry out these plots that are now repetitive.  Play with the heartstrings of one's own people, that think they can veil everything but I know we're not feeble, and in all these other places we're beginning to feel.
Cheney's Halliburton rebuilds nations after war decimates the ground.  Yes, let's let our pockets pay any amount, grind ourselves 45 hours a week so with our taxes they can play around.  Still staying stiff in the position promising your wishes will come true.  But again the scapegoat ***** your hope of political action bringing something new.  
While blowing ourselves away the frame becomes unglued.  This cancer is man made and he wants to redesign you. Analyzes with the force of a brute. Built tall walls with his flaws that only allows the seven deadly sins in.  Will he in his mind ever decide to see the sun again?  Can he really say that to himself he is a friend?  Meanwhile a governor of Flint, Michigan is okaying lead be let in to the water system, 9,000 now are poisoned.  We're talking families complete with children.  Speaking on topics like this, I do not have fun.  But the divine needs to shine wherever necessary.  If we don't speak now we could head into a reality that's only more scary.  No more families buried until they carry out their long lives.  I will honor Mother Nature and the life she provides.  As the Amazon depletes, the air needs more trees.  Less chemicals drifting into our systems as we eat and breathe.  Fearlessly pure we become free.  With eyes on the skies we leave our feet, articulated honest advancement.  Through conscious choice and proper management.  
No one owns you or where the lands currently sit, but you'll probably hear different from the government.  

We are all one, and life will go on.
Sun shines on our land every day at dawn
Balances created keep our hearts in motion
Close your eyes and see the focal point of your devotion.  Music gave me a way to see inside there lies the potion - to take my emotion and share the reflections to other oceans
952 · Jul 2013
skies of all colors
RyanMJenkins Jul 2013
The cousin of death is slowing my breath, and has me wondering how much in the tank I have left.  Insatiable emotional depth. Pleasing evenings, some of which I had not slept.  Saw your river, ran to it and leapt.  Stepped along the stony bottom revisiting memories, never forgotten.   Stopped in for a smile but the wood on the bridge was rotten.  Past lifetime I've taken a lot in, but haven't let much out.  The garden that my heart is in is experiencing drought, waiting for a downpour, accompanied by the majesty of a thunderstorm.  
And so my soul soaks in the tone of being alone.  
Never a dull moment but no hand to hold.  
My whole can unfold, unto a page.  It's my key to unlock myself from the cage I felt.  Loosened the belt around my head.  Decompressed the mind many a time, worry free in bed where dread is not an option.  Then the thoughts popped in, Where we were cropped out.  Each of you a beautiful flower bud and I hope to see you sprout, and eventually thrive.  I silenced any negativity, to hear from my inner child that's still alive.  Let go of pride to make amends to the few.  And I wish nothing but love to all my waves have touched, the old and the new.  Now is forever, but at times I have postponed.  Now I find home in where I roam, and loan vibes at no interest.  Hard to see the path solely focused on the finish, but too many instances left the words/actions inconsistent.  Still finding out that i'm so resilient.. I just see an empty pond over yonder, and often ponder on how to fill it.  Thrill through the skill of spontaneity, I must disappear before the lords seek to vanquish me.  Outdoors to explore pastures of grace unseen on this face of the trip, among greenery and sounds astounding.  It always amazes me the situations I am found in.  Now to doze off, for mind and body replenishment.  Power enough within all to create direction to switch the skit.  I just hope we come to fully appreciate the characters that starred in it.
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