"Heavy hangs the head"
Words which I left gently in my stead
While humming familiar songs
Regarding life and growth
Of which I find myself a part of once again
With newborn love,
Pulchritudinous eyes and light brown hair
Gentle and warm,
She demonstrates how she feels
Without needing to reassure of care
It's the little things,
Drives by the shore, the wind in her hair
The honesty beauty of her soul, almost too much to bear
To which I earned this juncture
Through patience and pain
I grew and evolved
Avoiding the easy path, the one of little gain
Of hiding in relationships to ease the pain
With all that has come and gone
I find that I can see again
Breathe again,
Smile and laugh
For the past is the past
And I'm no longer on such a twisted path
Rather, I'm happy to have hurt
Without that pain
I'd make the same mistakes
Again and again
So, finally, I write a poem that is actually about someone. It's been awhile and it is certainly not my best work but I blame that on the plethora of emotions that are inherent in writing about something and someone this close to my heart. Coming out of a relationship that I was completely invested in, too invested in, I felt lost and confused. There were opportunities to bury my hurt and lonely fear in someone, allow their new love to send all that pain away. Yet, I'm stubborn-- at times to a fault and I realized that the pain wouldn't go away, it would merely be buried under some new dirt- only to cause further heartache, greater heartache, down the road. I dedicated my weeknights to the gym, sent my emotions to a place of honest introspection. Until, eventually, I came out the other side of the tunnel. Changed, different, aware of my faults but proud of my strengths. It was odd to acknowledge that I did not need someone else to validate me, to make me better. It just took a heartbreak and personal growth to get there. Now? Now I still have a great deal of growing to do- but I can do it with the knowledge that walking the path, the true path, gave to me, something I will never take for granted.
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