After October
I'm so ready to start over.
I'm so glad we found each other
I'd be lying if I said
That our love was never true
I always knew
Every time I looked at you
I would need no proof
Cause' I saw the truth.

Time keeps on ticking
Memories are sticking
To our minds like glue
Were our friendships true?
Or were they just a show
Of people too scared
To tell each other no?
 
Good things we did
And the times that we sinned
Moments we were ashamed
Days we dreamed of our fame
Strangers screaming our name
But will it be on a billboard
Or etched onto a tombstone?

Only the innocent and the beautiful
Have no enemy but Time.
Eventually I will grow old
And forget how to rhyme.
Life moves on by too fast
It feels like a horrific crime
When Death steals the minutes
That could have been mine.

Since when were you told
That life doesn't have an end?
I can hear the laughter
Of death's dearest friend
Who goes by the name of Time.
It is Death with whom he dines
Devouring all the futures
Of the innocent and the beautiful
Whose destinies were dutifully kept.
Though they left behind loved ones
With hearts that eternally wept.

The worst part of living in the present
Is remembering something you once had in the past
And knowing you will never find it in the future.

If I chose to search for joy
I'd find nothing
And I don't believe
In happy endings
I'll keep trusting
There is no fun found
Anywhere on the planet
I'd be lying if I said that
You can find happiness
On Earth

I was out driving
And I passed by an auto center
Off of my usual route
There was some signage
That read:

Noses are red
Fingers are blue
I'm so sick of winter
How about you?

And to be honest,
I absolutely agreed.

Today I'm feeling
Hopelessly heartbroken.
I must rediscover
Something called love.

When you were on my mind
Only you captivated me.
Rereading our love notes
Listening to your voice
Deep withing my memory.

Now I begin to settle into sleep
Effortlessly drifting off feels like
Endlessly falling
Down into a cascade of
Sweet nothings you never said.

My heart feels split in two
Ominous fears fill it constantly
Regrets keep it beating
Eerily in the silence.

Life will always be relying
On my memories of you
Vividly captured
Engrained within my head
Remembering all those
Sweet nothings you never said.

Which is worse:
Not being needed
Not being cared for
Or not being wanted?

I would say
Being needed is nice
But someone could need you
Only for their own selfish benefit
So, I do not have to be needed.

And if I were not cared for
I would fend for myself
To keep my body from dying.
But I'd move on and care for others
To keep my soul alive.
So, I do not have to be cared for.

What about not being wanted?
Being wanted is what matters most to the heart.
If no one wants my help
And no one wants my care
And everyone rejects my love,
All that I'd have to offer,
Would be meaningless to everyone.
And my heart would cease to pulse.

This is why being unwanted is worse than being a ghost
Because everyone would see you doing caring acts
Everyone would hear you kindly offer your help
Everyone would feel how you want to give all your love.
But no one would want it.
So, I might as well be a dead body
That everyone is casually treading on.