Today I'm feeling
Hopelessly heartbroken.
I must rediscover
Something called love.

When you were on my mind
Only you captivated me.
Rereading our love notes
Listening to your voice
Deep withing my memory.

Now I begin to settle into sleep
Effortlessly drifting off feels like
Endlessly falling
Down into a cascade of
Sweet nothings you never said.

My heart feels split in two
Ominous fears fill it constantly
Regrets keep it beating
Eerily in the silence.

Life will always be relying
On my memories of you
Vividly captured
Engrained within my head
Remembering all those
Sweet nothings you never said.

If I chose to search for joy
I'd find nothing
And I don't believe
In happy endings
I'll keep trusting
There is no fun found
Anywhere on the planet
I'd be lying if I said that
You can find happiness
On Earth

The worst part of living in the present
Is remembering something you once had in the past
And knowing you will never find it in the future.

After October
I'm so ready to start over.
I'm so glad we found each other
I'd be lying if I said
That our love was never true
I always knew
Every time I looked at you
I would need no proof
Cause' I saw the truth.

Which is worse:
Not being needed
Not being cared for
Or not being wanted?

I would say
Being needed is nice
But someone could need you
Only for their own selfish benefit
So, I do not have to be needed.

And if I were not cared for
I would fend for myself
To keep my body from dying.
But I'd move on and care for others
To keep my soul alive.
So, I do not have to be cared for.

What about not being wanted?
Being wanted is what matters most to the heart.
If no one wants my help
And no one wants my care
And everyone rejects my love,
All that I'd have to offer,
Would be meaningless to everyone.
And my heart would cease to pulse.

This is why being unwanted is worse than being a ghost
Because everyone would see you doing caring acts
Everyone would hear you kindly offer your help
Everyone would feel how you want to give all your love.
But no one would want it.
So, I might as well be a dead body
That everyone is casually treading on.