Blade Maiden

Oct 2018

Brandon Conway

Feast your eyes upon all the
                                       mangled
                                                twitching
                                                            bodies

trapped in the grills of fat and
                                                        brown
                                                              package
                                                                    trucks

so far away from the idyllic blades of
                                                                 green
                                                                        and
                                                                           sun

crossing ***-hole asphalted rivers where
                                                               alligators
                                                                        speed
                                                                            amuck

We all get hurt crossing seemingly
                                                       empty
                                                           perilous
                                                                   streets

and end up in some wolf-dressed-as-sheep
                                                                    machine's
                                                                               sharp
                                                                                     teeth

are we different from the insects
                                                 roaming
                                                              on
                                                            instinct?

If only you could wiggle your body more to the side
but the alligator never slows and the wind is a bonafide
                                           bully.
At least I can see whats ahead, might as well enjoy the ride.

#grasshopper #insect #truck #package #mangled #trapped #trap #puppet #used #wolf

Blade Maiden Oct 2018

Don't mourn the waves

The ocean calls for my departure
don't mourn these waves
I was destined to return just like King Arthur

Scribbled words on our skin
invisible ink tells of prophecies
and all the lives that have not been

Pulled the sword from the stone
Naive to think that we'd be crowned
but rather released an angry storm

These stories speak of hate and resentment
it flows much more effortlessly
so much pain in trying to be sentient

Still I will not give in to bitterness
I wait for the storm to pass
to return to sea and drown in bliss

#ocean #mourning #departure #leaving #stories #saga #myth #sentient #resentment #bliss

Blade Maiden Oct 2018

I'll make sure to give before nothing's left of me

I sell my soul
for a pre-made bed
I give myself whole
for a sleeping spot in your head

I give my blood
for sacrifical purposes
I crawl through mud
til I no longer feel the worthlessness

I shed my fears
and all my dark feathers too
I spill them like tears
They fall of my leafs like new day dew

I pull out all my flowers
and plant them close to you
they will grow and become towers
which can only hold things that are true

And as my demons come for my lungs and liver
my hive heart will send all my bees
so these towers never wither
and this love never leaves

#dark #sad #dreamlike #mythical #otherworldly #love #goodbye #sacrifice #demons #depression

Blade Maiden Oct 2018

Castle Lighthouse

Lighthouse shine a light for me
in these dark times it is hard to see
will you shine a light so I might be
(some day)
found

Meaning got lost in the rubble
trust has only brought me trouble
People hiding inside their bubble
(seems like we are all)
bound

Fires would you burn
I got lost after taking the last turn
what is there to find, what is to learn
(we feel like being, being)
drowned

Please, show me a way
it is hard to go, so much harder to stay
I walk, I halt, I run, I stray
(everything's loud but I make no)
sound

Lighthouse, my castle of warmth
how I miss your steady arms
and your happy, glowing charms
(how is seeing you in the distance so)
profound

Like ancient kings and queens
of a wisdom that redeems
though never knowing what it all really means
(in uncertainty, lonely, in melancholy once again)
crowned

#light #way #lighthouse #castle #queen #king #ancient #lost #distant #melancholy

Oct 2018

Brandon Conway

Pickling

The quill's sodden ink evaporates
while this bell jar encapsulates
leaving these dreary words to permeate
only to rain back down and stagnate

this terrarium, my lonely estate
pickling eyes that spate
people peer through the glass only to deprecate
while I slowly start to acclimate

two horizons squint until light dissipates
allowing the darkness to overtake
monsters crawl out to dilapidate
snarls and growls devastate

this is fate this is fate this is fate this is fate
is it too late is it too late is it too late is it too late
echos verberate echos verberate echos verberate echos verberate
this is fate and it is too late these echos verberate and I ruminate
I ruminate and ruminate and ruminate and ruminate

with a languid gait
a countenance set straight
while I desperately try to create
a happy blissful sunny green free state

it's not too late it's not too late it's not too late
meditate meditate meditate meditate
don't let the glass alienate
pick up the hammer and swing
till the glass B E K
R A S.

#depression #happiness #bell #jar #glass #lonely #terrarium #people #monster #fate

Blade Maiden Sep 2018

My chilling beloved

Today autumn arrived
I watched it creep into my room
through an open window

In my bones a familiar feeling thrived
I watched the leafs fall around noon
from the trees below

Coldness came to greet me anew
a comfort of sorts
and I felt so very calm

Warmth came to meet me too
the rooms of one's own turn into charming resorts
candles, tea and a blanket become a weary soul's balm

With it came nostalgia
it slowly made its way under my skin
while colors change the outside

Do you know of this certain cardialgia
your heart is heavy but light but also filled to the brim
while memories of distant winters reach far and wide

Welcome my chilling beloved
my cold season of frozen solid dreams
I was eagerly waiting for your return

For you I ready my coat, already half gloved
I give myself to you by all means
and underneath my halcyon flesh I will quietly yearn

#autumn #cold #winter #season #warm #nostalgia #melancholy #soft #calm #heart

Blade Maiden Sep 2018

Used

Ah
it's cold
and I have a hard time
holding this pen
like I used to

So
I unfold
I'm convinced of my crime
hiding in my den
like I'm used to

And I've been holding on
dreaming, fading,
tired for so long
I remember your voice
Can I ever hold you
can I ever have the choice
I'm not used to

Why is it being so ******* me
how am I always wrong
when the voices tell me I'm free
but really all I want is to belong
Anything could be better
Nothing is the matter

It's alright
go back to sleep
it's just another lonely night
I'll feel better after I weep
til tomorrow
another gloom
wraps me in trivial sorrow,
For you I'll go catch the moon
your blanket looks warm, just tonight, can I borrow
If you don't need me, I promise I'll leave soon
I'm used to

#cold #weary #night #sleepless #tired #lonesome #lonely #sad #love #wanting