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Jean Chevalier was
A Parisian man.
He led a simple life,
He had no big plan.

'La Résistance'
In took he part,
He felt it was right
In his Parisian heart.

The German soldier smirked,
Strapped in his ranks,
He looked down at Jean
And fantasised war tanks.

Jean was stuck in the métro
Since about half past three,
His stomach was aching,
A cigarette needed he.

The German Soldier, however,
Breaking the 'law',
Lit one up and
Opened his enormous jaw.

His pink, beefy face
Took a long drag,
Jean clung to his country,
Clung to his flag.

Jean gasped for a cigarette,
The soldier saw in his eyes.
But Jean managed yet
To stay dignified.

The soldier whips out a fresh one,
For Jean, condescendingly.
But without batting an eyelid,
Jean declares:

*"Non, Merci."
Merci Jean, tu as aidé Agnes Humbert et tu ne l'as jamais su
 Jan 2015 A C Leuavacant
aar505n
Left a nasty mark
Left side of my face.
Sparked inner disgrace
Embarked upon a new place
Where defaced faces are not remarked.
But in the dark, I got displaced.
This space was dead quieted.
No lark sung here, but hark!
A lone bark cried out. And then another and another.
Braced myself, as stark fear crept inside.
Out of the dark, the pack show their faces
And the race began - They chased me through the park
Traced me deeper in the woods. No hiding place seen
Lack of light, pitch black, trees attack, narrowly missing me.
Can't hack this, graceless at racing.
Face grazed by twigs, looked back at the pack, closing in
Quickened paced and - smack. I found the ground embracing me
Ending the chase as they arced around me
Surrounding me in the dark
My eyes glaced over, sparking more than fear
To enter my brain, all them interlacing  together
Death's intamacy marked the end.
I prayed for a coup de grace
Just in case skies aren't empty
Jaws opened and crashed down on me.
Biting, chewing, tearing through me.
Eating raw meat, sweat as nector for them.
Brittle bones break and snap.
They drain my marrow leaving hollow bones.
I laughed.
I laughed louder and louder.
The unearthly sound echoed in the night.
The biting became more frantic, more panicked
Couldn't understand the drastic change.
My fears displaced into the dark of ether
I got up and shooked myself free.
They couldn't defaced me anymore than I am
Frightened by the bite though it's no harsher than the bark
And being frightened, I gave them power over me
Power to tightened my very being.
Misplaced my own proper power prove to be a mistake.
But now I know those shadows do not mark my end
The gallows can wait.
I disembarked from this dark park, leaving behind the barks.
Face still defaced, but with an ace up my sleeve.
 Jan 2015 A C Leuavacant
aar505n
People have strong feelings about nonsense.
Unaware of the by-products
of fervent tenet.
The ardent flames burn hotter than
any dogmas of faith.
They are swathe in this magma.
Burning all those near,
churning deep-rooted fear.
Making it crystal clear for some,
but foggy glass for others.
Colourful grey matter yet mindlessly
They clutch on too much
to the senseless crux of the matter.
Somethings may be in flux
Places and faces among other things
but the same truth endures.
Those whose eyes are blinded
by creed, ensure that only casualties
and tragedies will arise
from their fallacious activities.
When will these attitudes changes?
A question I can not answer with any certitude.
Only hope a solution will come post-haste
as we are faced with too many ghosts.
Passer-bys erased simple because
people have strong feelings about nonsense.
Janus has a grand auld pair of heads:

One looks backwards on all the **** and grime, on the ****, on the limescale, on the mould, on the excrement, on the muck and grit and gunge and gunk, on all that wastage of human time, toiling away, scraping at the rot and the filth and slime, and besmearing the earth afresh, and blessing it.

The other looks forwards on all the **** and grime, on the ****, on the limescale, on the mould, on the excrement, on the muck and grit and gunge and gunk, on all that wastage of human time, toiling away, scraping at the rot and the filth and slime, and besmearing the earth afresh, and blessing it.
 Dec 2014 A C Leuavacant
aar505n
I find comfort in reading myths
For even the great gods
with all their strengths and wits
Are prone to anger, sadness and
Are known to love too strongly
And thus are just like us.
They are finite.
Their lofty stories ignite our interest
for they reflect us and connect us.

Have you ever felt like Zeus?
Cause I'm sure he has felt like us.
He is a god but not God
for he is flawed.
I applaud this
for it does remind us
of the similarity between
gods and mortals

Both rather like the other
to the extent that
they falter at the same torment
although we think they do not.

gods can lose their immortality
just as mortals can become gods
It must be said I do enjoy mythologies, especially Greek mythology.
Who is to say,
we cannot break our bond with the earth,
that we are too strongly tethered?
Not I for one.
Nor stone age man who leaps to death in mimicry of the birds,
nor the prisoner who, in confinement,
looks to the sky,
framed with the walls wherein he lies,
and says to himself, or herself, nay, I cannot fly.
And could I fly, I would touch the earth again,
or else burn up in the stratosphere.  
Nay, nor the wild fowl, who may traverse 100 miles at a stretch,
ere they return to the earth.  
Nor ashes carried in the air and bourn away upon the trade winds.  
Who would admit an eternal debt to the earth,
which by every step we repay?  
Least of all them overcome with wonder,
at infinite depth, at scale, at cold beauty,
at the splendid simulacrum of the cosmos.  
Who then would hold me back by a leg or an arm,
who would through envy deny a splendid assimilation with the vasty domains of the other,
for what word, what momentary vocalisation of the earthbound
can in all justice give it name?  
But in good faith, commit my body to it,
and I shall move throughout the eternal regions,
and circle in infinite revelry.
Deny me not this wild vanity,
commit not my body to the earth,
and I shall not call you cur, who walks upon the earth,
and there for evermore is tethered.
It's you.
You are the reason that I can no longer sleep at night.
You are pain... You are fear...
I hate that you are near.
I try to forget you.
I try and I try and I try, but what good is it trying to ignore my own body?
I can not ignore this... This... This emptiness, this longing for acceptance, for change... For something new.
I need you.
I need you even more than I need myself, so no... I can not forget you.
Because my identity is valid, regardless of what they think.
Regardless of what anyone thinks.
It does in fact matter... I'm not going to pretend that it doesn't.
And I'm not going to pretend that you're not here.
I know that you are.
You've been getting closer and closer and closer, until a few days ago, when you truly arrived.
You won't let me feel at home in my own body... I can not touch my body... I can't even look at my body.
Why are you doing this to me?
And why do I feel the need to tell everyone I encounter that my name may match my face, but it sure as Hell doesn't match my feelings?
This is my body... *So go away.

You're only ******* me up further...
And I know that I could love you if I weren't the one you were chasing, but honestly, I just feel panicked... I feel cornered... I feel *dysphoric
.
And I'm so ******* frustrated, I mean, why now? Why not then? Why me? Why not him? Or her?
But I do not wish this upon them...
Yet I never did wish it upon myself.
I just want to know... I want to know now... I need to discover the truth... To discover myself.
But you won't let me.
You are making things far more complicated than they ever needed to be.
You are pulling my soul directly out of my skin and leaving my now-useless organs behind...
My soul may be with you, but my dead little heart is not.
And right now, I wonder if they'll ever agree with this... Hell, I don't even agree with this.
Maybe if you had come sooner, if you had been more persistent throughout my childhood, if you had appeared in my doorway before the age of fifteen...
I had always dreamt of becoming a boy...
Is that not normal?
I wanted to kiss pretty girls, wear baggy jeans and have short hair that I could gel and style... I didn't see a disadvantage...
I do now.
You are the disadvantage...
So *******.
A poem from Christmas Eve... Well, Christmas morning. At this point I don't even care who sees it.
 Dec 2014 A C Leuavacant
aar505n
I regret that the door was closed
To look outside the door must be open

Open it I did and I hear nothing
But I saw him among everything

The Robin was robbed of his life
By the globin that is Death

A creature of the sky
Now lays on the ground

I wish for him to be alive. For it to be a lie
But I know in sooth, this is the harsh truth

I closed the door and returned
Vowing to never leave
 Dec 2014 A C Leuavacant
aar505n
i see the stiffness
in you smile
this christmas
tears from crocodile
was all you got
was all you need
but on afterthought
why does this impede
me so much more
than it should
if i was to ignore
would it do any good

i do doubt it
for it does
clot and knot
every neuron
spawnss great
hexagons
pentagons
and other shameful shapes
I should be happy for today.
I mean its Christmas Eve.
But how can I be happy?
Its been a month today,
And its been the worst month of my life.
Not only that, but you'll be spending "the most wonderful time of the year" with him instead of me.
I'm dying inside, but nobody will ever know.
All they will ever see is the face I've painted on the outside of my shell.
I hope your Christmas is better than mine will ever be.
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