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Joseph S C Pope Sep 2013
Childhood was the greatest time for Timothy, and he remembers it that way. No disposition on the fact that his parents divorced when he was eight. Just old enough to develop a mental connection with the idea of a union. So when he was ten, his father remarried, moved to a farm in the southeast, and tried living off the land. The topic of an ecological environment had hit the internet heavier than global warming hit the ice caps. And everyone was pursuing happiness with steep drops in city living, and an up swing in rural living.
Timothy's mom refused to believe it though. She wrote about such cultural climates, the invasion of neo-british pop boy bands, the decline of football, and the hippie lifestyle clawing its way back up the columns of big city papers. So when the recession hit, and it suddenly became cool to dress like a homeless person, she saw the disgust, moved overseas and focused on the world-political spectrum.
“Societal fads be ******! I'm going to do something that actually matters.” And she did.
Timothy Glasser, age 82 looks back on that moment with pride.
“There was a sense that she had the ***** to change the world. With Russia building up Imperial popularity, it was cool to be big. America was on the decline by the word of all the heavy-hitter magazines.
“That was when I started to take my life serious. She had shown me all the would-be Bob Dylans, Lennons, Hunter S. Thompsons. She would say, 'These kids have all the brass words of a ****** who can bite down ******* the world, but they don't have the actual brass. Men who are not recognized for what they've done have the brass. Hell, women have ten more pounds of that kind of brass!'
'I would laugh, but she was serious. I think she thought I was too masculine to understand what she was saying.”
When Timothy's father moved him and his little sister, Sunni Glasser out to the backwater community of Oggta-Cornelius, there was a certain relief in his demeanor. In a matter of months the country way of living had worn down his impatience to a sluggish pace.
“Greg was my father's name. He's been raised in a similar place in the Midwest, but the slowness of that life got to him in his teens so he left for the city. I guess when he met my step-mom he found the good ol' girl that he'd been trying to cling to since he left home. And it was Sunni's choice to come with us. She always had the same kind of 'brass' Mom had, but there was a closeness she shared with Dad that adventure couldn't break. It's a **** shame too. But once the slow pace of the backwater hit Sunni, she rebelled. It was a catastrophe to watch her and Dad argue over the most petty things you've ever seen. The way our step-mom, Claire would fold clothes or how early she had to wake up in the morning for school. Five o'clock, five days a week, and sometimes Dad would wake her on Saturday just to punish her for talking back. There was always blood in the water.”
Timothy's face settles, his lower lip curls, and his eyelids clinch for a moment before he changes his position in his chair.
“Is everything okay, Timothy?” I ask.
There is a pause, almost as if he is reliving what he was just describing.
“**** has always been real, you've been fantasizing.” I hear him say. He refuses to look at me, let alone answer my question.
“Mr. Glasser?” I ask again.
He exhales suddenly, eyes watery, and lets out a sigh.
“Let's talk about Sunni. I never really talk about her much, and I think now is a good time. Don't you?”
I nod in agreement and try to give him a smile.
He still refuses to look me in the eye.
“When Sunni was in first grade, she was beginning to prove to be a bit of a handful. There was a small patch of corn out back. Maybe half an acre Dad keep for us to put up for the winter. Sunni was about seven years old around this time and she had the idea to make crop circles. Now I was out with my friends, played football in those days so I didn't have the time to be home all the time. Dad and Claire kept themselves busy with the work about the place, so Sunni got bored real fast. One day during the summer, Dad went to the store to get some groceries. A friend of his came up to him and said, 'I was up in the plane yesterday and I saw something strange in your cornfield. Like some kind of crop circle. Weird ain't it?'
“This rattled my Dad's brain for a few minutes until he got home and saw the two-by-four with rope tied to either end of the thing. Sunni was staring at the clouds and Dad walked over to her, and yanked her up off the grass. 'What are you doing flattening my corn for? Don't you know that's goin' to save us money in the long run?” She just stared at him. Not dumbfounded, just intrigued.
“That was kind of the starting point of their bickering. She had blonde hair running to the base of her skull brushed down neatly. A subtle blush in her cheek from the sun. And she always wore a dress, especially if it had sunflowers on it. She brought life to that house.
“On her tenth birthday, Mom sent her a touch screen phone, an iPhone, I think it was called with a two-year contract. It was so long ago minor facts like that seem to hang on for no reason.”
Timothy shuffles in his chair. Then clears his throat.
“Would you like to take a break, Timothy?” I ask him.
“I ignored most of the arguments Sunni and dad had after I graduated high school. As soon as fall semester started at Cornelius College I fled the backwater and started by life near the OceanFront. Oggta-Cornelius was divided into two sections: the Backwater and OceanFront. And like a sports rivalry there was always trash talk about the tax bracket you were in or how much you worked. After the first few weeks for sneaking into bars and partying on campus, the fun died down because of the arrests. I almost got caught twice, but my sixth sense for trouble tingled at just the right time. When the middle of the semester hit I was over-booked with mid-terms and reading assignments. I actually lived in my dorm then. Never really left the place. And soon fall semester was over. Nothing worth mentioning now. Sunni and I texted often, but she had become a brat and I wanted alone time to learn what I'd read. For everything literary to go beyond just test and quizzes.
“But right towards the end of the semester, one morning I was walking to an early exam and on the ground was a kid, a little older than me lying there looking up at the sky. I had the urge to walk up and ask him what he was doing, but it felt too rude so I left him. I kept walking and heard a voice call back to me, 'Hey, guy.' I turned around, 'Yeah you, come here.'
“I walked up to him, he motioned for me to kneel beside him.
'What day is it?
I told him it was a Monday.
'Really? Wow, must've fell out watching the stars with this gir--'
He reached to his other side, feeling for a body, but no one was there. He never broke eye contact with me.
'Well, with his lovely imaginary girlfriend I have. Her name's Elsie. She's a charm.'
I helped him up and he left without much of a goodbye. A disrespectful mysteriousness. And I didn't see him again till the weather warmed up in the spring semester. Which was a repeat of the fall.”
Timothy asks me for some water. I started to feel like I'm one of his grandkids. How far in the trunk of memories is he going for this information?
“Thank you. Now the next time I saw Alan was in a smoking gazebo along a walking path on campus.
'Hey, guy!” he shouted, getting my attention. I walked back to the gazebo, coughing as the smoke roughhoused it's way into my lungs. He had those circular shades on, like the one John Lennon wore back in the day. A tie around his head, a light blue button up shirt that hung loose off his think frame. His hair was long and parted, and he sported a straggly red and black beard.
'Top of the morning, ta ya.' he said, putting out a cigarette on the tray. I opened my mouth, but all that came out was coughing.
'Course, the Irish don't really say that. It's actually quite racist, but I'm half Irish so no skin of my knuckles. I'm a mutt.'
“He smiled with such pomp. The arrogance was so natural, it fit him like his face. Other people around him were having conversations about Samuel Beckett, John Irving, Stephen King, and Jimmy Hendrix tripping acid together in the great T.A.R.D.I.S. in the sky. I remember laughing at that. They were all smiling at the ludicrous actuality of it happening. And it was late evening.
'Stay! Be silly and merry with us!” he shouted. I held my breath and sat down. I never made it to the rest of my classes that afternoon or for the next week. Alan and I chilled in my dorm, burned incense and plotted a protest. The whole time I was telling him he had to be literal with the cause. It couldn't be just because the college bookstore sold shot glasses, but confiscated any paraphernalia they found in the dorms.
'*******,I say. It's hypocritical and a scam. Like police pulling you over for going two-miles over the limit because they need to feed their kids. It's a Darwin rip-off.'
“Later that week he took my phone while I was sleeping, got my number, and Sunni's too. He never asked if he could come over after that night. He just did.
'I thought it was cool since we had a good time.'
"I didn't know what to say so I let it continue. His reason for stealing Sunni's number still baffles me. He said he thought she was a girl I was into. She was my sister, he was right in his own way. It was a while before he ever texted her.
“The next time I saw him he told me, 'I feel like a clockwork man running on thousands of gallons of caffeine.' I laughed at him and told him to stop reading Burgess.”
I stop Timothy for a moment. “Anthony Burgess? The author of A Clockwork Orange?” He nods and goes back to the story.
“You know, with the Second Cold War flaring up again I don't think it's wise to be worrying about an old man like me. This has been a century of second fillings. There are still Hipsters running about. This makes me feel no better. I want to go home.”
“Alright Mr. Glasser, but can we reschedule? I need to finish this article.” As he rises out of the chair, he agrees and goes for his coat.
“One more question, Mr. Glasser. Can you give me another quote from Alan? A bit of closing for this bit?
He turns around and looks me in the eye for the first time since the beginning of the interview. He squints his eyes at me and says, “When we would hang out at the gazebo where we actually met for the first time, and after that week I got back in the habit of going to class and doing my work. As I would leave I'd say, 'Alright man, I'm off to class, to learn and stuff.' He'd moan about it, and say, 'Look at him now, growing old and dying young.' Behind that same pompous grin."
Pardon that it is fiction, but poetry has inspired this short-short story. Maybe the beginning of work on my novel, but it is along the same lines as "This is why the Hipster dies".
Tina Marie Oct 2014
You don't give a ****
About us vets
You pay us lip service
And leave us in debt
Cancel our appointments
But when we call
To reschedule you act
Like WE dropped the ball
I've been waiting 2 years
For my ****** up shoulder
You keep handing me pills
And my will grows colder
Now three of my battles
Have taken their life
Today one shot himself
In front of his kids and wife
Oh, NOW you care?

******* VA,  ***** YOU!!!

Just hand me my pills
Like you usually do
Oh, why are you angry?
You must not like to hear
What most of us vets
Have heard from you for years

******* too, VA
So tired of my battle buddies assassinating themselves. The VA doesn't care. I'm so sick of this **** and I'm writing my ******* congressman because they have got to stop treating us like we don't matter.
Robert Peck Nov 2012
Mondays are like when the cops come to shutdown a party that is approaching the highest point of the night
Mondays are like when you found out your prospective prom date is interested in going with you
Mondays are like when you find out your other half is splitting themselves into more than two pieces
Mondays are like when you find your savior for the first time
Mondays are like when you fail a test you spent all weekend studying for
Mondays are like when the leaves change color on trees in autumn
Mondays are like when it rains on a day you planned a picnic date that you could not reschedule
Mondays are like when you find your purpose for breathing daily and using that as motivation to constantly progress
Mondays are like getting a broken ankle after scoring the game winning touchdown
Mondays are like when you find a pond of fresh water after traveling by foot through a desert
Mondays are like talking to your celebrity crush with spinach stuck on your tooth
Mondays are like buying your favorite pair of sneakers
Mondays are like waking up early for a class that was cancelled
Mondays are like when the flowers bloom in the spring
Mondays are such a buzz ****
Mondays are like a fresh start
Cora Sep 2019
i'm watching myself
unfold
i try to stuff
what's falling out
inside
maybe i
can go for
one more week
maybe then
i'll feel i earned
a sigh
preservationman Oct 2016
Well Alice looked in the cookbook for a new dish
The night before, it became her wish
But what could Alice prepare
However, I offer a word of caution in beware
Alice found a dish to serve her guest
If anything, find a good restaurant that should be the request
The cookbook with Stuffed Rice and Chicken
The name sounds worth eating
However, I just saw the chicken dash out the door
I guess the chicken felt I he will not be anybody’s guinea pig to explore
So that was his chance to run out and ignore
This was something the chicken couldn’t take anymore
Alice may have to serve the guest toast
But I can assure you the guest will have a lot to boast
Perhaps word of mouth being coast to coast
A cookbook is something one creates
But not eat at your own risk and discover why you were sick from what you ate
This is your time to make a quick exit before it is too late
Excuse yourself and perhaps reschedule another date
But that would require you to participate
But the best thought is run for your life
Don’t even wait to get advice
You don’t want to know what else could possibly be left in the kitchen
A dish being an unknown that no one seems to want to eat
It’s like a competition, but in this case, no one wants to compete
So Wendy’s said, “Drop in and have a Hamburger”
Yet eat while you can
As for a cookbook dish, don’t eat until when
At this point, I have reached my end.
Nat Lipstadt Feb 2014
The unexpected snow, disruptive,
in ways more burdensome,
than mere fender benders and
swapping travelogue commutation miseries

ah, the tv reporters regale
with snow tales, human fails,
but where do you hear
of the children
burnt once by fire
then again, now,
again!
burnt by snow.

here, hear, listen here

technology moves forward,
grafting new shells of skin
on burnt children,
but tonite you're cozy thinking
of your valentine's heart,
not of the little ones,
whose hearts are unprotected,
by what we take so for granted

beneath our protective gloves and coats, scarfs and boots,
our prophylactic human skin,
theirs, fire ravaged,
now re-hazardous,
by southern snows burning

these children hurt,
unexpectedly,
cannot play in the snow that came so
unexpectedly,
lest it burn them worse*

"in the children's burn unit, postponed all surgeries except 'emergency'.  Two days of outpatient clinic patients forced to reschedule,. That then, postpones their surgeries, second step grafting, etc. Our vents ran smoothly I heard via the generators, unlike last outage. We had to ambulance each individual patient.

I dread going in tomorrow but small comfort,
it will be warmer than my cold home."

Life first, poetry second
burnt too oft by the supposed caregiver, but not of that now, but later for surety, will I **** them
Rj Apr 2018
My medications almost gone
My medications almost gone
Will I go to the store
My medications almost gone

I’m sorry I missed my session
I’m sorry I missed my session
You thought I was dead
I’m sorry I missed my session

I’m sorry I didn’t reschedule
I’m sorry I didn’t reschedule
But my psychiatrist doesn’t know me
I’m sorry I didn’t reschedule

I didn’t do your homework
I didn’t do your homework
No yeah I knew it was due
I didn’t do your homework

I lied so I could leave early
I lied so I could leave early
I messed up your work
I lied so I could leave early

I slept between my classes
I slept between my classes
I put my earbuds in
I slept between my classes

I didn’t talk at dinner
I didn’t talk at dinner
I left y’all feeling awkward
I didn’t talk at dinner

I’m sitting in the library
I’m sitting in the library
I haven’t done a thing
I’m sitting in the library
Richard Riddle Apr 2015
Arriving for medical appointment today:

Richard to Receptionist: "Richard Riddle for 3:30 appointment with Dr. Beersmell."
Receptionist: "He's not in today. He's ill."(Brushing hair off of forehead)
Richard: "I know this is probably a silly question, but why didn't someone call me earlier so I wouldn't have had to drive ten miles?"
Receptionist: Long pause......"I forgot."(Brush-Brush)

Richard: I'll reschedule when he comes back. Thank you, Amber!





copyright: richard riddle 04-22-2015
This actually happened today April 21, 2015. The names of Dr. Beersmell and Amber are fictitious. Any resemblance to persons living or dead, is purely coincidental.
Lawrence Hall Jun 2019
Hello, you have reached your longtime downhome hometown Saint Swithin’s Family Medical Clinic now an outreach ministry of Consolidated #Jesus Industries Inc. where nobody knows you anymore and wouldn’t care if they did your health care is very important to us you are a valued customer our office hours are from 8 to 12 and 2 to 5 on alternate Mondays and 9-12 and 2 to 5 on Tuesdays and Thursday after Woodchuck Endangerment Awareness Day but before Greenpeace Day except when the latter falls on a Wednesday in which case our office hours are 2 to 5 only and on Saturday 8 to 12 if this is an outside pharmacy please dial X and follow the menu if this is a prescription refill please dial Y and follow the menu if this is to schedule an appointment please dial Z and remain on the line if this to reschedule an appointment dial A cubed and speak slowly when prompted to do so I’m sorry I didn’t quite get that would you like to try again I’m sorry I still didn’t get that if you would like to speak to an operator dial oh, I am sorry your time is expired please hang up and redial if you would like to speak with Dr. Name’s secretary please dial 3 if you would like to speak with Dr. Other Name’s secretary please dial 4 if you would like to talk with Nurse Practitioner Yet Another Name’s secretary please dial 5 if this is an emergency then please hang up and dial 911…
Your ‘umble scrivener’s site is:

Reactionarydrivel.blogspot.com

It’s not at all reactionary, tho’ it might be drivel.

Lawrence Hall’s vanity publications are available on amazon.com as Kindle and on bits of dead tree:  The Road to Magdalena, Paleo-Hippies at Work and Play, Lady with a Dead Turtle, Don’t Forget Your Shoes and Grapes, Coffee and a Dead Alligator to Go, and Dispatches from the Colonial Office.
Sjr1000 Dec 2013
No one awakes knowing
That today is
The day
That you're going to die.

Death doesn't
Call to confirm your appointment
(No calls either
Human or computerized)
You can't cancel
Or change
Your mind when you arrive.
It doesn't matter if you
Have insurance
Or
Promise to pay on time.
It won't ask you to
To sign an ROI.
Death doesn't reschedule.


Death accepts no excuses
It won't wait until
It's a more convenient time
Or have you check
Your schedule
Your bank account
Your ethnicity
Your marital status.
Death won't take
Your past history.

It won't give you a coupon
Bill your mom
Take a bribe
Or
Give you a referral to
To another specialist
On his time
Or for that matter his dime.

Death has no bedside manner
Won't prescribe you drugs
Doesn't care what your
Father does.

Death won't even
Look you in the eye
Check your side
Listen to your complaints
Or successes
Show compassion
Or
Give you
An empathetic understanding sigh.

Death takes no names
And takes no answers
Death has no samples
Studies
Or sage advice.

However death is like
Waiting for the dentist
Your turn is going
To come.

Sleep is called
Mini-deaths,
All of this
No wonder I can't sleep

And by the way
Death doesn't schedule
Follow up appointments...
Andrea Feb 2013
Reach out and touch my cheek.
Don't be offended when I turn away.

Take me out to the dark beach for a walk.
I'm not sorry I don't reschedule for another day.

Wrap your arms around me.
Try not to cough as I fall to ashes.

Yell at me and get angry.
Apologize when I bat my sorry lashes.

If you call me beautiful, I'll tell you you're lucky.
I know you won't find someone like me.

And that's what I'm aiming for.
You can tell I'm not right. All I feel is misanthropy.

Broken hearts, broken by me.
But I've been broken too.

It's painful, depressing, you feel ripped to shreds.
So don't act like I can't feel you.

I know the darkest roads that can be travelled in my mind.
They're all paved with memories of your face.

So don't be hurt when I let you suffocate on yourself.
I want to watch you disappear without a trace.

I'm not the bad person, you know.
I'm simply confused and lost.

Is this what you accomplished?
A sense of power. But at what cost?
urvashi May 2013
...
I saw the rising fog..
and it settled over my brain..
but an occasional brain freeze is cool...
it numbs away the pain..
*******'s hard to come by..
and drugs are illegal they say..
I wonder why they didn't put a tag on love..
And legalize heartbreak away...
Cigarettes are bad, they **** your lungs,
they burn away your soul...
But we've burned at the stake already love,
whats some dust n a bit o' coal..?
So let's reschedule the sermon father..
Save me a seat in your pew...
For I got a long walk back home today,
and a dream i gotta sew...
Leocardo Reis Jun 2021
I was thinking about you the other day,
and decided that
I wanted to write about you
one last time.

Do you remember the letter you gave me
on Valentine's day?
It's a funny story, actually.
It's still in its little bottle.
There's no way I can get it out,
I've tried so many times,
I've nearly torn the letter to bits
by picking at it with a pair of tweezers.
I can smash the bottle,
however that letter was written over
4 years ago.
How can I bring myself to read something
that is addressed to someone,
that at the time,
you had said you loved?
To read it now feels as though
I am intruding on something
I have no business in seeing.

Near the end, do you remember when you told me
that I had reminded you of your father?
I have never felt more ashamed of myself.
I was crushed.
But did I ever apologize?
I am not sure.
I am so sorry.
Why did I make you feel that way,
I wonder.

Do you remember a couple years ago,
out of the blue,
I invited you out for dinner
after not speaking to you for years?
When you agreed,
I was ecstatic,
I looked forward to it the entire week,
but then you said you couldn't go
and that ******* broke my heart.
For just one night,
I wanted to show you
tenderness.
I had written a letter,
I worked on it for weeks,
it was page upon page
of things I was sorry for.
And you never got it.
You said we'd reschedule,
but I have not received a message from you since,
and I did not want to pester you.
But I've fixed some of my bad habits.
People now say that I am kind.
****
I wish that I could have shown you that.

I remember you telling me that
you had hung all the poems
and letters I had given you
on your bedroom wall
for your entire family to see.
I wonder if they are still there?
I hope not.
You should throw them all away.
I used to keep a copy of every poem
and letter I ever wrote,
but I've since ripped them to shreds.
They were terrible,
honestly.
Please throw them away.
What I regret most is
that I used to sign letters with my name.
I no longer do that.
What was important to know was not that Leo had wrote a letter,
rather,
that the letter had been written.
Leo has nothing to do with it.
Perhaps
knowing it was Leo who wrote it
would make it seem
cheaper or
worse than it actually is.
Or at least that is what you made me think
while I was eating dinner alone
on a certain night a couple years ago.

I am happy for you,
I really am.
It makes me feel so nostalgic
seeing you in love.
Your boyfriend seems like a nice guy
although I have no idea what he is saying.
Perhaps it is time I learn a language other than English...

And with that, I bid you, adieu.
Perhaps we will cross paths again,
perhaps not!
But this will be the last time
I ever write about you.
Thank you.
Tanvi Bird Jan 2015
All my problems can not revolve around my issues with J or Lucifer or G. They may make me sad sometimes, as I placed a lot of expectations within these people. However, they are their own people. They live for themselves, not for me. They have their own hopes (even Lucifer's biggest dream of having light skinned children), and who am I to judge or interfere?

No, I shall live for myself. During the weekends, I get so caught up in helping my little brother or mother that I don't take enough time to catch up on my ****. My little brother doesn't pay attention. He just talks and talks and requires a lot of attention just to keep him focused. He drains my energy at the end.

Why do I help people? Why don't I just run away? When I was little, only thing keeping me here was the occasional kind smiles my father gave me on the rare occasions he said hello to me at home.

Now, it is my youngest brother. If I go, he will not be successful, because they aren't good at looking after him.

2 weeks ago, J's friend D texted me about class and etcetera. I responded with an enthusiastic and funny response- something about cleaning with baking soda and vinegar. Eventually, he amicably manipulated me into re-visiting the notion of having a group dinner along with J.

I texted to let her know, and she ignored it for a week. I don't know what is wrong with her. Why doesn't she let it go, the fact that G liked me and not her? Who the heck cares that someone thinks I am prettier? That's subjective anyway.

What a strained friendship it is. When I tried to address it, she deflected by saying she was mad at something else. She said she didn't want to have dinner. When I told her I was in the same painting class as him, she coldly responded that it doesn't matter, she didn't ask, and she doesn't want to know. Obviously, she's outraged. She's thought about this so much, that she has started to hate me. It's her own insecurities. I can't blame myself. Maybe my critical behavior post graduation contributed to her hating me, I don't even remember what I may have said. I remember I had been extremely frustrated with her around that time, and I was terribly insecure. Is this going to be some vicious cycle?

12:15 am

Let's forget about J. Let's talk progress, if any.

I did meet with the State Rep a couple weeks back, and recently asked him for a recommendation letter. He agreed. I applied for one job as well. It is a job I want, but may not meet the average qualifications for. However, I would have made a strong candidate. The position is a counselor at CCP. As someone who has been through the college and graduate school process, and as someone who struggled-- I know how to approach these students. I also know how to help them. I really hope I get an opportunity for an interview at that college. It would be a great first job.

The citizenship interview was last week, and this week will be the oath ceremony.

I tried to apply for a few teaching positions, but they all required some level of certifications and a minimum 3.0 GPA which I don't have. You know what ***** is that I want a second chance. I messed up and did not get the 3.0- and I don't have money to get a teacher's certification. Yet, I know I can do these jobs better than many other teachers.

I did miss last week's career group, I think I had something else going on at the time, but I don't remember what.

I decided to start a professional blog about different topics that I am interested in. Ask my friend To to help, but I don't think he will be that committed. I have to study different professional blogs and see how detailed they are, and how they cite.

Maddison's mother texted me to tutor her daughter pre-midterms this week. I had to reschedule on my friend to another Friday. However, I am still not prepared to teach Maddison. Last week, she didn't contact me at all. And this week, I had planned on getting a lot of job applications done. Ugh.

I haven't accomplished a lot lately. After the issue with D & J dinner, I was anxious, and once the anxiousness left I became this extremely negative and sad ball. It consumed me. I decided not to let her ****** up brain affect me.

I don't think I can really be friends with Chr. Maybe he flirts with everyone, but it bugs me so ******* much. I had asked him to give me some space for a while.

To do his week: return shoes, make 12 copies of career tracking packet, call glasses place, call invisalign place, buy camera film, art supplies, and lip liner, register for race, write cover letters, and study for math.
Valerie Csorba Jan 2015
I find it sad that I've begun associating you with headaches and bad dreams more often than not.

It's like the only way to reach out to you is to reschedule the days you want to fall in love with me all over again like those days are just some sort of meeting for me to potentially become a home for you.

My arms are open like the front doors of a 5 story mansion with a small attic added on top like icing to a cake and yet you refuse to close them for good for me.

You arrive and pull open every single window and door, you turn on all of the lights, and every trinket that thrives off of my energy is switched on in addition to that without a care in the world of how much of my electricity you are wasting.

Eventually you come to the heart of the house, you turn the flame on high on the stove, you walk straight out and you leave me to burn again.
It's every single time I see you that you do this to me, and somehow I always found the tools to rebuild myself.

This time is different. This time I can't because I'm shattered beyond repair.  Being the glorious architect that you are I figure you could design the sort of place you actually wish to live in.

But you won't.
I'm not in your outline anymore, am I?

You once told me you wanted to fix me, and now is your final chance, because once I find the courage, the meaning, and my resilience to assemble myself once more... Just know that:

I'm closing all of the doors and locking them from the inside with golden keys that I can melt down into reminders of who I'm to not let back in. My arms will not open up for your embraces any longer, lover, not even if you try to pry them open.

I'm closing all of the windows and barring them from your needy hands. They will have to find a new toy to play with.

I'm turning off all of the lights so someone new can learn where the lightswitches to my soul are located, since no matter how often I moved them from you, you still knew me well enough to turn me on.

I'm extinguishing the flame that is constantly flickering between our fragile figures, blowing it out like a candle, and never giving you the ability to light me up again.

I am a female powerhouse and I belong to no one.
Psych-o-rangE Jan 11
I prepared these phases on my calendar so that I could be able to survive these next months.

Phase A: 10 November

Exam - Audit & Assurance completed
Exam - Audit & Assurance allowed for alternate exam at December
Assignment - Business Analysis delayed till December

Phase B: 28 November

Assignment - Business Analysis delayed till end of Phase B
Assignment - Business Analysis completed
Exam - Business Analysis completed
Exam - Business Analysis allowed for alternate exam at January
Exam - Business Analytics delayed by teacher to January
Exam - Audit & Assurance completed
Exam - Audit & Assurance requested alternate
Personal - Mothers arrival

Phase C: 23 December

Exam - Audit & Assurance alternate rejected
Exam - Business Analytics missed & possible delayed (unsure if accepted for Covid)
Exam - Business Analysis completed
Exam - Business Analytics pending date to be confirmed
Subject - Audit & Assurance passed

Phase D: 12 January (tomorrow, in 10 minutes)

Personal - Couples therapy
Career - Job opportunities expiring soon
Exam - Business Analytics still pending date to be confirmed
Visa - Immigration agent reschedule appointment
Visa - Expiry upon the 30th of January

Note:
* Phase D, makes feel like the time I have left is limited.
* That the visa will not be acquired.
* My job opportunities will pass me.
* My last subject will fail.
* And I will lose everyone.
* These past for years I will have nothing to show.
* And you will leave me.
* Our friends will just become your friends again.

I'm running out of time, and I love you.
Jude kyrie Dec 2015
The inner ciity school was big and noisy.
I remember being scared and ovewhelmed.
When I saw her for the first time
a cornucopia of colors In her flowing sari.
She floated no sound of footsteps.
Her skin perfectly brown
oh she was the most beautiful lady
I had ever seen.
I think she loved teaching more than life.
She would break an adult meetng
to  tend to a childs needs.
.Saying we must reschedule
I have a very important
meeting with my student
I must attend to.
she taught us patience and respect.
To listen to each other and to learn
from each person we spoke with.
she brought animals to the school
and introduced us to new species.
Everone wanted to be with her
when she taught us the class was silent
and every swoosh of her sari could be heard.
she stood by  the open window  of the classroom
Once and said listen can you hear it
I said its just silence Miss
she smiled and said no
it is the most beautiful
sound in the world
it is the sound of learning.
she would ask what new thing we had learned
since last she saw us.
A color a poem a book.
I think I learned how to learn from her.
She basked in her small successes.
Later she told us of the nurses a doctor
schoolteacher author and poet
that had spawned
from her class.
Now when I visit England I always try
to see her in her small retirement flat.
she pours green tea that she says comes from
the foothills of the himalayas still teaching me.
As I recount for her all the new things
I have learned in the years since I saw her last
RLG Jan 2017
My heels clip on
London concrete.
My hamstrings strain
To increase my stride.
I slalom around
Pavement zombies,
Phone junkies,
Loitering monkeys.

Don’t they see?
I’m late for a meeting
With a client of grandeur.
A key player.
A major money man.
(I can’t drop the name
Due to a
Signed NDA).

It was suppose to be
A blue sky meeting
On a grey winters morning.
But I slept too long,
And the tube
Went wrong,
And now I’ve
Got the dreads.

If I’m late,
My rep will be tarnished.
I’ll never secure
Another meeting again.
Because in this town,
Time is a diamond
We can’t possess.
But we know it exists;
Out there on the outskirts,
Out there in the sticks.

It’s below freezing but I’m
Working a sweat;
A pavement cardio,
A sidewalk rodeo,
A street athletics show.
There’s no way I am going
To be on time.
It’s curtains for me;
I’ve sealed my P45.

Finally I arrive.
I collapse at the entrance,
My power-walk ending
In a muted reception.
I approach the desk.
‘Yes?’
Glared a future
X-factor entrant.

‘Good morning.
I’m here to see
The top brass.
The big cheese.
The head honcho.
I was delayed, but please,
Pass my humblest regrets,
I am spinning a lie
Which I hope he accepts.’

‘I’m sorry, sir,’
The young lady chewed.
‘The Great Man is away,
Tanning on a beach.
You’ll need to reschedule;
He returns in two weeks.’
Jude kyrie Jan 2016
The inner ciity school was big and noisy.
I remember being scared and overwhelmed.
When I saw her for the first time
a cornucopia of colors In her flowing sari.
She floated no sound of footsteps.
Her skin perfectly brown
oh she was the most beautiful lady
I had ever seen.
I think she loved teaching more than life.
She wld break an adult meetng
to tend to a childs needs.
.Saying we must reschedule
I have a very important
meeting with my student
I must attend to.
she taught us patience and respect.
To listen to each other and to learn
from each person we spoke with.
she brought animals to the school
and introduced us to new species.
Everone wanted to be with her
when she taught us the class was silent
and every swoosh of her sari could be heard.
she stood by the open window of the classroom
Once and said listen can you hear it
I said its just silence Miss
she smiled and said no
it is the most beautiful
sound in the world
it is the sound of learning.
she would ask what new thing we had learned
since last she saw us.
A color a poem a book.
I think I learned how to learn from her.
She basked in her small successes.
Later she told us of the nurses a doctor
schoolteacher author and poet
that had spawned
from her class.
Now when I visit England I always try
to see her in her small retirement flat.
she pours green tea that she says comes from
the foothills of the himalayas still teaching me.
As I recount for her all the new things
I have learned in the years since I saw her last.
Connor Feb 2017
The unsettling fishtank
dream remains/ luminous!
& yet confined to it's own/serene state
of sheltered existence, there is no/reaching in and interrupting this Indian fire two thousand years old/only a deep sense of burden that you couldn't n will never/
be a section of its gaze

There will be no kindling of Spirit while whispering the secret of your/madness to
a staircase/
      There will be no eyes & alms to forgive and guide your restlessness at night/the sky will not forget your cowardice in absolute emotional expression
How you stray from kissing a holy lover the way you've always ached to!

The Summer will not reverse its eternal poetry from your skin/
will not smile watching you blunder through childhood, tending to your fear with higher
priority than your great wound

It (this longing to be smothered & worthy rest) will not reschedule to next week
just because you read the daily horoscope
and it "applies" to you now!
/soldier & your MobyDick heart & saintly revelations on the silence of your neighbors & shaving off ur insecurities/causing you to bleed & be sent off to the HOSPITAL & the staff is laughing down at your mangled face, anyways

& you have done with the destruction caused in a moment of blushing cheeks

Dye fills the head with ego painting & unexpressed volumes ! Oh!

      The circus remains fearless but still uninformed, worn down in its senseless practice & schoolboys cry observing the clouds lose train of thought to the music of Berlioz

My terrible soul skips/unblinking from the pondrous black cat who lingers above my dreamworld/to Gustav Klimt & his empyrean entanglement/
      out to the parking lot which cannot mind it's own bussiness

    trees of insoluble space
         haiku lion
                  prisons kept hush hush
                         so its prisoners may forget
                         again where they weep

(how are you dear? I wish I could be a lasting impression)

Since birth
many of us have successfully
avoided the barbaric
heat of life
        I haven't been uplifted by beautiful
        laughter in a long time
the laugh that uplifts this whole Earth

A child to die so early
K Sep 2017
Alarm
Click
Alarm
Click
Alarm
Click
White ceiling
Toes thighs chest eyelids
Swing legs over bed
Stand up
Feel emptiness in your gut
Revel in how lovely it feels for the moment
Black letters greet you
Don’t forget..Take your meds! Smiley face
Orange bottle
Little custard colored pills

swallow down
swallow down
swallow down

Yes! Go to class! Pay attention! This is interesting! Wow! There’s a dog! Hello friends! Yes I can help you with that! Yes I want to hang out tonight! But homework first! And I must do my laundry! Productivity is great! I love you sweetheart, lets skype tonight! But after I do social things! It was nice talking to you!

Yes lets still hang out tonight
Yes lets still skype tonight
Unlock the door
walk in
close the door
sit down

look out the window
look out the window
look out the window

I’m sorry I’ll have to cancel. Something came up. Yes I’m fine. Yes we’ll reschedule.
Lighter
Inhale
Exhale
Short productivity burst

look out the window
look out the window
look out the window

Yes baby I’m fine. Uh huh…uh huh…uh huh….Yes I’m listening yes I still love you no im sorry im a little off tonight

look out the window
look out the window
lookout the window

Shower
Brush teeth
Comb hair
Crawl into bed

stare at the ceiling
stare at the ceiling
stare at the ceiling

Custard colored dreams
Are harder to swallow down
swallow down
swallow down
hidden galaxy May 2020
i saw the sun torn open
she is seeing gold
tasting sounds
too bright for me to understand
sunspots and radiation
too bright for me to look at
so i smell for music and listen for her shadow

i want to tell her that she is beautiful
but nothing makes sense
when the sun opened everythingi
mixed around and i can’t stop
I am singing in my sleep about hearing her pass
or tasting her sounds
but she is gone

she wants nothing between us to change
but she is the sun and feeds
The crackling broken earth and dwarfs my point of light
but things change and seasons
are seasons and I’m hearing the leaves
growing in and the pollen sings
on the wind.
I try to forget

my cat and i sing a duet of
falling hair in spring and i count the smells
and sounds i can see from the window
as she holds to busy life
Worships Ares’ shirts to her nose
She doesn’t reschedule our dates
when I miss her, i turn on a lamp instead, pretending it is her face

I wait for another season to pass and she peeks from behind the clouds
she sings her lips to mine as she ties me to her whims
She wears my kiss like a badge
The sounds I make under the impact of her touch are like music
I am a star, but I will never be flawless, male, tall in her eyes. I will never be him. Things are always changing. I am always changing.
She is always beautiful.

She scorches my skin and I blister under my tongue and I long for a wind or tsunami
A change
I wish I had not tasted how disappointing she could be
Saying she is made to love a planet, not star
I wish I had not seen how ugly the dark spots of the sun could be
I don’t sing anymore.
Jordan F Dec 2013
The flakes come down
Not one alike
Throughout the town
These days are the best
because we are able
to stay in and Rest.
If you must go out,
Just put on a hat,
Please don't pout.
And if you can,
call off your appointments
And reschedule
them again.
OnwardFlame Aug 2016
I'm not entirely sure why
But like a sleet of ice
I got hit with a wave of emotion
And I think it's the transition
The not knowing and sorting through
Hats that look graceful and neat
And although I balance
With a captivating joy
At times it wells up
And becomes much too much.

So I left my new boyfriends house just now
He kissed me with such love before I went
And pouted as I put my purse over my body
But baby I've got much work to do
I know you got it covered baby
But I don't
Not yet.

I wrote in my phone
A thought I'm ashamed to admit
That just said
"I'm not so sure that I matter"
So I left to go battle my own
Inner demons.

My health insurance is about to end
There are 20 thousand possibilities
But I'm back in that abyss
That black hole of not knowing
Unsure where to turn
I sit and stare at my computer
It piles so high
I couldn't even sexually release myself with my love today
So I didn't even really try.

I read a few articles
That I end up skimming through
Because it so deeply hurts my soul
What we women have to go through
And at times I'm guilty
Of taking it all on
Like because of my blessings
I gotta carry all the weight
So I do and I fight through
Sometimes leaving my own carcass
And needs to be forgotten
Because I think and hum
I don't really matter.

Perhaps I should be on medicine
Or see a therapist
But at age 25, almost 26
I reschedule my dentist appointment
Because I don't want to have to beg for more money
And long to be self sufficient
Doing what I love to do
So yeh
I'm impatient and pushy
Bossy and exponentially determined
Because the father who made me
Raised me to never settle for less

But it's not even about him
Or the silver spoon that still hangs out of my mouth
Or the I love you's that cascade from our lips
Like coiled intricate sincere fables
We always longed for
Your 17 years of waiting
And my eons of thinking I need a prince

You say it and you say it true
I am no princess
But a queen
A queen tired of what we have been given
And I know I don't joust alone
But often that weight
Fills me up like the tub
I metaphorically fill with expressive sorrow
And a beauty that can only be expressed
Verbally
As papers are thrown down tumbleweeds of what I know I can be.
Jude kyrie Sep 2015
The inner city school was big and noisy.
I remember being scared and overwhelmed.
When I saw her for the first time
a cornucopia of colors In her flowing sari.
She floated no sound of footsteps.
Her skin perfectly brown
oh she was the most beautiful lady
I had ever seen.
I think she loved teaching more than life.
She would break an adult meetng
to  tend to a childs needs.
.Saying we must reschedule
I have a very important
meeting with my student
I must attend to.
she taught us patience and respect.
To listen to each other and to learn
from each person we spoke with.
she brought animals to the school
and introduced us to new species.
Everone wanted to be with her
when she taught us the class was silent
and every swoosh of her sari could be heard.
she stood by  the open window  of the classroom
Once and said listen can you hear it
I said its just silence Miss
she smiled and said no
it is the most beautiful
sound in the world
it is the sound of learning.
she would ask
what new thing we had learned
since last she saw us.
A color a poem a book.
I think I learned how to learn from her.
She basked in her small successes.
Later she told us of the nurses a doctor
schoolteacher author and a poet
that had spawned
from her classes.
Now when I visit England I always try
to see her in her small retirement flat.
she pours green tea that she says comes from
the foothills of the himalayas still teaching me.
As I recount for her all the new things
I have learned in the years since I saw her last.
Janet Li Nov 2015
my depression's been pretty bad recently, daresay among the worst of the times i've had it. i couldn't put forth the effort to reschedule this meeting i was supposed to have with my boss for two weeks. today i actually reached a point where i gave up on my boyfriend's love for me too, thinking i was too miserable to possibly be loved. i had numbed myself out to the point where i couldn't even fathom his love for me or how it could exist. he proceeded to comfort me by lying with his full weight on top of me (per my request) and nuzzling me while i sobbed, so so happy because i was able to feel his love for me again. depression isn't being sad, it's about being numb and devoid of feeling. it's scary when you feel like you won't be able to feel again.
Anemone Nov 2020
I miss my theater
I miss the lights
I'm finding I even miss
The many sleepless nights

Cause now I lie awake
My head so filled with song
I'm finding that without you
The world just feels so wrong

I miss the chaos
I miss my crew
I miss every little thing
That I used to do

I cannot reschedule
The last curtain call
I cannot imagine
A year without you all

I'm crying, I'm trying
The tears, they never fall
I cannot imagine
A year without you all
Maddy Aug 2023
More than ever possible to have.
Seems more might be necessary but source unknown.
Not sure if tap is dry?
Seems some are too wrapped up in their own to spend time with others or their friends.
So, you do things on your own because you have to be your own best company.
You cancel and delay plans and hope to reschedule.
Spear of the moment isn't as easy as before but hope it will come around again.
Some mean well but need to learn to say nothing if they have nothing nice to share or say.
Patience is a virtue which I hope visits again.

C@rainbowchaser2023
Jenny Gordon Apr 2019
The LORD does.  But how my flesh is...everything the Scriptures declare.



(sonnet #MMMMMMMDCCCXLIII)


Let's talk about things other than the scale
Of my affection for who cares.  How dense
Blue racks are in the lack of shadows hence,
Or how the sparrows gaily cry in pale
Excuse for my 'non feeling like what they'll
Call, erm, a "*****."  Yes of, for aught intents
The LORD's great mercies, though I can't see thence
Past this torn minute's burdens to avail.
Reschedule lo, my hours whiles I in poor
'Scuse think that someone's cruel and rouse me to
Um, foolish oh, complaints.  I've read as twere
How Israel'd oft complain, and thought I knew
Far better, yet I cry against Thee fer
The umpteenth time, O LORD.  Help me now too.

02Apr19c
Mercifully He does.  The LORD be magnified.
Jacob Reilly Oct 2022
WIND: blowing to move on, not to stay.
Whirlwinds of beauty and disaster on display.
Told you oceans of secrets, to which you reply
"Just keep blowing me, I’ll reschedule my flight."
Hot air balloon, your hand in mine
To think I once believed your heart could shine.
05/21/2022

— The End —