Dry
.
It
is
true,
you are
totally right.
I'm as dry as
a desert, I'm a dead
empty land. I used to be
a  jungle  when  the  clouds
where by my side, and now that
they are gone, my trees, my dreams
they dried and died. Because of this,
nothing grows inside of me, there is
only silence and despair. I can't feel
what  I  write,  I  barely  feel alive
I want to feel human again
Oh god, I really miss
the rain
Es frustrante tener  las palabras pero no el tiempo y luego tener el tiempo y no recordar las palabras
  Jul 1 Rj
Micrography-Mike D

You decimate!
Stabbing my core
Added to
scars from before

Another rip
What’s one more tear?
I do not speak
Stricken with fear
This is my path
Fate has no choice
I tell myself
With inner voice

She does not hit
There’s no contact
Her weapons, words
A deep impact


Given true strike
May inflict pain
And cause damage
Sometimes sustained
But very worst
From punch or kick
My body harmed
Can not inflict
The type of wounds
When letters placed
Creating words
My soul disgraced

The fabric stitched
that makes up me
Together holds
my entity


Of essence it
Can penetrate
A wound so deep
That’s it; Checkmate
Forever change
Person I am
So powerful
Alters my plan
And bit by bit
it takes away
the strength within
just blows away
My soul fading
Human no more
I’m just a pet
Something to store


An article
Inventory
Pathetic one
With no story
Written: June 30, 2018

All rights reserved.
Rj Jul 1
I don’t want to be awake
Rj Jun 24
How can I live with you?
How can I let you touch me.
.. you fucking monster. You fucking assault my mom. Notice how I didn’t use the last tense. Can’t get enough? Can’t stop watching fucked up porn? Prostiutes aren’t doin it for ya like they used to? Fuck you. You ruined her life. And she takes it each time you fuck her. She closes her eyes and takes it. Telling you not to do something doesn’t work so why say it right? She tells you it hurts her and you continue. The only thing I feel for you is fear and absolute disgust. Marries doesn’t mean it’s consenual sex. Fuck you.
Rj Jun 13
I’m losing my humanity
Rj Jun 9
Hey guys. I don’t reallt feel like using the brain power to write an actual poem or use actual rhymes. I’m sorry. I guess I just need to get shit off my chest. Guys. I’m so tired of everything. I’m tired of waking up. Not just tired. It’s more than that. I’m tired of being a fucking wedge between my family. I’m sorry for causing my mom all of the pain she feels. Maybe not all of it, but a large part of it. I’m sorry I’m very selfish. I wish I knew how to change that. I’m sorry for making my dad feel unloved. I’m sorry for dragging my sister into emotions she doesn’t want to feel. I wish I saw something better in my future, ya know? I wish I didn’t see a lonely 26th birthday in a grey apartment and over cast skies, alone. There are so many things I wish. There are so many things I’d do again, but even then I doubt it’d help. People can be so bad. People can be so good, but man, can people be awful. Why can’t we just love one another? It’s not that simple I suppose. Nothing really makes sense to me at this point in my life. And people say it will just wait, but I’ve been hearing that for years. So I’d like to know... at what point does all that people have told me start to come true? At what point does this come together? Because I feel like I’ve been lied to. By everyone. You know what else? I thought a lot about my suicide attempt today. Sometimes... sometimes I wish I wouldn’t have have... idk. Sometimes I wish I’d have just picked up the rest of those pills and chug them back and broke my phone on the concrete. Only sometimes. But sometimes is still sometimes. I know what I’m doing. I just don’t want to be doing what I’m doing. I just... don’t want anything. I don’t think. I want out of this mess. But it’s inside me and I don’t know how to get rid of that. I’m also tired of being scared for everyone. Especially my family. I feel like no one else is, so I took on everyone’s part and have just... all of this fear. Dread. I don’t know. My head hurts. My room is still part of his house so obviously I can’t be at peace even in my man made cave. At least it’s cold. And dark. And I’m in sweats. Anyways anyways, I’m just sorry for being shitty to people I know. And for bringing up painful things for my mom and sister to go through. And for making my dad feel unloved. All he sees is a daughter who won’t look him in the eye and who gets nauseated when he touches her. I don’t mean it. And man, I can’t even begin to explain how much pain caused.
I’m just sorry. I want everyone to know that
Anyways. Sorry for the spill. I’ll be back to trying to work out poems and better metaphors tomorrow. Maybe I’ll do a longer rhyme. Change it up a little, ya know?
I’ll write more tomorrow. Thanks for bearing with me on this one.

Love, RJ
I’ll be okay
Rj Jun 9
Maybe the reason I’m not stressed about the future is because I think I won’t have one
Or maybe It’ll all go away
That’d be great
If it all went away
I just want it
To all go away
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