Decisions
Eanie meanie minie mo
one can not decide like so
your past is gone, let it go
eanie meanie minie mo

We think they were childish games to play
yet it tells our future each and every day

Its a 50-50 shot
you could go ether way
But there is no turning back

One step in the wrong direction and you are done for
Because the key was thrown into the ocean that could only open the locked door behind you

Like hot lava
A playground game
If you stumble off the side and landed in that hot firey pit of lava you were done for

That ocean where the key was thrown into has turned into a nasty green
The waves and seaweed churning under the dark stormy sky
This is not a message in a bottle but more of a lost man at sea

Every stepping stone could result in a broken heart
A bruise
A forgotten friend

One wrong decision could cause a prodigy to die

Like ******
His Mother almost got an abortion
Her family told her over and over to just go through with the pregnancy
She probably tossed that decision back and forth in her mind
But her family won the match

If she had decided to go against her family I wonder where society would be today

Would there be dozens of Einsteins?
A million Madonnas?
Would there be a cure for all the cancers?
For the common cold?

Every judgement is a puzzle piece
Every step you take back or turn in the unexpected direction is another step towards your fate

Everything matters
If you had gotten one more gallon of milk you wouldn't have run out so you wouldn't have gone to the store and meet your best friend there so you wouldn't be going to that Zumba class

Then you wouldn't have met five of you new best friends and your husband

All of that for a jug of milk

Pink and said to be mean
Your tentacles tend to scare me
You're often alone, are you lonely?
Drymonema larsoni... don't worry
We can be friends, just don't sting me..

Native to the Mediterranean, Caribbean, and The Gulf of Mexico..
Searching for Moon Jellies and feasting once they're found
They wrap their tentacles around- them and drag them in
What a cruel fate? you may think that but we do the same thing.

Eanie meanie mineie mo,
Nobody ever needs to know,
Just make sure the scars don't show,
Eanie meanie mineie mo

I call you for dinner
at the roast beef you glare
you sulk at the table
and kick at my chair
"I don't want it" you cry
"I hate veggies" you moan
but a young boy can't live on Mcnuggets alone!

You call me a meanie
you say it's not fair
to make you eat green stuff
"I won't eat it, so there!"

You hunch up your shoulders
arms crossed, lips shut tight
your stare is defiant
as you fight for your right
to eat what you want to
and do as you please
my 5 year old rebel
with scabs on both knees

You'll eat it eventually
and I'll secretly laugh
'cause round two is coming
I'm running your bath!

be still.
make a choice to avoid making any choices for as long as you possibly can.
what power do you have when so many other people's choices blur your own.

close your eyes.
decide not to decide.
decisions are for people that have nothing better to do than choose.

but I do.
i just choose not to.

One day someone will be taking care of me
When I'm sick and when I'm hurt
Someday I'll come home to a person
Who washed and folded all my shirts
Maybe in the future he'll make dinner for me too
And know how I'm feeling even if what I say isn't true

I'll work all day and get home so tired and worn
And maybe he will do, and feel, the same
We could just lay on the ground and order a pizza
Eat half of it and pass out where we lay
Wake up at four in the morning, only seeing silhouettes in the night

And hold each others hands as we find our bed without our sight

I'd make him surprise meals, maybe way too soon
And discourage myself as he's out so late that day
He'd come home and I'd tell him what I'd created
Although now its cold/ soggy/ not the same, he'd still kiss me and say,
"Thank you, baby. I'm sorry I was late, did I make you cry?"
And I'd nod and look nonchalant... or at least I'd try.

When we're apart, I'll think of him all throughout my time
Thinking of future gifts and laughing too hard at his past puns
Maybe looking like a lovestruck idiot in public
But he would know, that's just how my mind runs
And seeing each other again, I'd make sure to feel his face too much
He'd let me, since he would love my touch

He'd watch me sleeping ugly, with drool and farts and noise
He'd probably record it to blackmail me later,
Threatening with laughter to show it to all his friends
But little would he know that I could do one greater:
Revealing the albums of candid photos and videos in my phone
And I wouldn't be able to help it, he would just be so cute-prone

We may argue over something silly, something stupid, and I'd refuse to see him at all
Looking away when he walks by and ignoring him when he talks to me
He'd be hurt, and he would tell me that, my icy heart would melt away
And I'd hug him so tight and apologize for being a meanie
He wouldn't say anything, what if he doesn't hug me back?
...what if he never again placed his hands on my back?

What if I ruin everything? If my personality is immature and strong
He'll have had enough of it and he'll gently tell me he's letting me go
I know I'll cry, asking if he still wants to keep the gifts I gave
And my heart will be trembling as I fear he may say no...
Because each moment was a whirlwind of him
I'm afraid I'll ruin my future before it begins...

Hello baby
Hello Love
Hello sweet heart
Hello

Hello meanie
Hello ******
Hello *****
Hello

Hello Daddy
Hello Sister
Hello Gramma
Hello

Hello me
Hello you
Hello all
Hello

There's a meanie on the monkey bars
He's swinging to and fro
He's kicking at the other kids
and telling them to go,
He will not let them play here
it makes the others sad
that was until my brother
came a'crying to my Dad.

My Dad he is a Viking
eyes like oceans, hair of gold,
his shoulders are like boulders
and his glare could turn hell cold
Across the park he walked with Ephraim,
and the monkey bars did mount,
then hurtled straight toward this lad
with his loudest war-cry shout.

The meanie dropped and bolted,
didn't want to wait for more
from this crazy guy, with fury's eye,
feet an inch above the floor.
He made sure every kid was hung
like washing on the line
and then he hung there with them
that crazy Dad of mine.

"Tree trunks" a  Cruttenden name calling,
lucky  I didn't get a  kick
after french lessons.
Sheena arrived half term
we laughed at her frickles
but envied her stoicism.
After school we smoked our  Capstans
watching the opposition Hockey Captain
up to her neck coughing.
If  I say anything  more
you wouldn't  imagine
I ever  grew up

There once was a fight on my plate
In front of my face while I ate

The Broccoli on the left picked up its Spear
And stabbed the Corn on the right, right in the Ear

The Avocado Artichoked the Zucchini
Before the Pepper rang the Bell on that meanie

The Onion went to Bed on the Lettuce and cried
Afraid that the Beets on the side were all Red cause they died

The Okra came in and slimed the whole affair
While the Yams slammed and Squashed the Cauliflower

The Peas ended up with Black Eyes
Next to the Potatoes that were mashed up and fried

The Cabbage brought it all to a head
Which Steamed the Asparagus with all that was said

There once was a fight on my plate
In front of my face while I ate

I woke to a morning that called out in crystals,where mistletoe ice wands would grant me three wishes and wise men were wrapped up in kaftans and turbans.
The clock stuck at five,so the **** came alive and told time from cracked egg shells and church bells were snowed in,no dings and no dongs,the rights and the wrongs of it seem to fit in quite nicely,when at six the wind whips through the streets where I walk,it's like treading in chalk leaving footprints to read,with my toes feeling the way,so glad I wore two pairs of socks and my wellingtons today.

Then at eight there's hot chocolate and a muffin with jam and the work day begins.
No djinns and no genie,just the boss who's a skinflint and a tightfisted meanie
but it all ends at four when home seems to beckon,
I reckon I'll go and make more prints in the snow and maybe call in to see Andy for a pipe and a brandy,then off to feed Joe,(he's my cat dontya know) and then bed with my nightcap,take the bolt off the catflap and dive into a book I was saving for the time before I nap.

ÆFRE SWĀ DÆGES, ĪSERNUM-BORDHREÓÐUM
GRYRELÉOÐ OND HLÉOÞCWIDE SWĀ! 
FÉÐEWÍGUM SĒ EFTCYME! SWĀ SĒ WIELM BLŌD!

Thae Verra Wordis o' Battle Auld! an' Verra Prelude War-Hye o' mine! 
Tae ye a' ageyne tell Ah! afor yondir Forgotten Myrk Whunstane!
Fore cannae ye a' see? frae ma Verra Vision, Thais Immortal Battle-Landis, 
Fore let mee Thais War-Sange, ne'er tae e'er, wi'in Anie Quiet Loch, wane!
Nowe ageyne, weall! thro' Hye-Boilin' Steel-Bluid Eternal Ȝell:

Cauld an' Feudal Battle-Yeir, Sacral o' mine A.D. MXVII hynne! 
Let mee weall, weall! stick-an-stowe intae Thais Deep Past Bluid-Fyre, 
O'er Thais Hoat Airn, ma Guid Auld Swaird Feathfull! 
Ays a Distinct War-Vision Ah nowe stylle see! unco radiatin', 
Dogydder wae Thad Bygane Shower o' Arrows nowe ay War-Invisible:

MĪN HEAÐUWÆD!

An' afore Thae Hye Lowes! ma Stane-Hearth, nowe hynne remember, 
Fore ageyne! ay maun nowe Thais Bluid-Vision o' mine tallid unco Ah! 
Ays Supreme Fyre-Wylle! o'er an' 'yont th' Cauld Lang Hame, 
Meanie Feudal Towmonts ago, hynne, wae ma Airn-Wame, 
An' th' War-Mask o'er ma Swaird-Cut Cheek Bane
Unco haiwin', a Feudal Rebel an' Wulde Brooch-Wearer, Ah!

DOLHWUND OND BORDRANDE, 
EFT WLWULF SWIÞE WÆS IC!

Intae CARHAM'S BATTLE MAYHEM AULD! an' th' Scyld-Horror
Ne'er, IT! thro' th' Murky Moorlan Nicht tae unco wane! 
Wae ITS Open Jaws, an' Het Braith, an' Whyte Teeth Dazzlin', 
Thro' Thoosan Cries Norland an' Clashes Micht hynne! 
Frae Thoosan Battle-Scheldes unco Wooden-Colorful Thay A'!

BORDWUDA MĪN HRÍÐ,

Across yondir Scyld-Wauch found masell hynne Ah! 
Verra, Verra Guid Vision! Verra, Verra Guid Wunner!

NORÐÞUNRES SCIELDWEALL,

An' th' Steel-Spirit, verra Gleamin' IT unco haiwin'
Thad deep thro' ma Battle-Veins in Deep Moorlan Gore, 
Yondir! o'er Thae Blacklyn Hylles, wae ma Guid Claymore-Lore:

LĪEĠÞRACUM NÆGLING!

Ays a Storne Micht! Þenne an' nowe stylle unco flowed, 
Hwenne, IT! Great Þunor's an' Bauds' Warlike Orrah! 
Th' Daye-Luminarie at ITS Zenith-Trune Sacral, 
Verra, Verra Hye IT! waes, wae Rid Lowes Invincible
In nae, nae hynne! Hye Skye-Agony dwellin':

ĒACEN DÆGSCIELD,

Invisible, IT! intae Thae Deep Cauld Norland Skyes
Whare Thais Sunne! allwayes unco owre Wee, 
O'er Thais Horizon Harsh an' Warlike an' Dreary
Wae Fiery Skye-Dignity Primordial unco rules, 
Hwenne, IT! weall, weall Ah nowe stylle in Fyre Thad see!

STĪELENE GLYDERING,

Great Kvaysir's Orrah! th' Swaird-Hurt Schawdu! 
HYS Ghastly Apparition o'er Whin-Rock devastatingly makyt
Wae HYS Bluid Mirk! downe, downe! descendin', 
Hwenne, IT! ****** Hel's Guid Battle Orrah! 
Th' Enraged Ocean spake nae, nae IT laanger!

OFERȲÞUM BRIMRAD,

Wae HYS Whispered Woirds o' War intae HYS Storne Rageful, 
Hwenne hynne, at length IT! Airn an' Guid Thundir's Orrah! 
Th' Gore Sacrificial o' thoosan enemies o' mine! 
Quhame faced a' Ah! th' Lone Wolf-Feeder! ay nae Age-Worn! 
Wae ma War-Blade Dearest, THOROLF GIED called:

DYNGES BEADULÉOMA!

Red-Boilin' IT becam! an' frae Cauld Horizon tae Cauld Horizon extendin', 
An' Þenne a Vortex Feudal o' Coagulatin' Energy Micht! 
Indistinguishable frae thais Battle-Mass frae Auld Carham,

A LONE CRIMSON WAR-FIGURE UNCO MICHT
WAE THAIS BOILIN' BLUID BATTLE-SACRIFICIAL
UNCO! IN WAR-GORE PERENNIAL MAKYT! 
FRAE THAIS CAULD PROWID BATTLE-LANDIS
O'ER A'! TAE TH' WOUNDED SKYES HYE SOARIN'
WHA'S FEUDAL NAIM GORY, TH' OWAR-MANN! 
AYS WYLLE O' MINE BLUID-INCARNATED! 
FRAE DEEP TH' BYGANE, TOWARDIS YONDIR FUTURE, 
NOWE AFORE MINE SCARS O' WAR WAES
O'ER AN' O'ER, GUID BRUNANBURH'S ORRAH! 
TAE MEE! WAE MA SOLITARYE VISION
WAR-BLINDED UNCO RETURNIN',

Weall Ah hynne remember! An' nowe play mair, mair for mee! 
Yer Steel-Lyre Auld Wise! Fore Ah e'en mair distinctly see! 
Thro' Wreaths o' Bluid-Vapor Sacrificial, th' Heat o' th' Strywe! 
Theare cam forth, Ah say, an' TH' THYNGE! soared, unco free,

HEAHÞRYM OND DRĒOR-HÉAHSÆ,

O'er Thais Swaird-Encounter an' a' th' fallen afore mine eyes, 
Bye wha's Naim neither Ullr in Airn Enraged hynne, 
Nor Kvaysir Micht! nor Auld Vargs Unda gleamin'
Nor o' Hôm Loga Himna Hye! waes IT called, 
An' IT swayed nae, o'er th' Battle-Mass Gory!

CAMPWÍGES CWEALMDRÉOR,

Nor thro' HYS Feudal Bluid soarin', IT spake in any Battle-Ȝell, 
An' theare IT unco remained! o'er Thais Perennial o' mine Swaird-Hel:

MĪN GEMYNDIG GIET ÞUNRODE!

Wha's HYS ROUND SCYLD O' WAR held hye! towardis th' Sunne! 
A Continual Lowe o' Dense Fyre hynne a' gatherin', an' a
Luminous Rain frae th' Zenith-Sunne Invisible, thad waes IT

WAE REASON THUNDIR-FORCE A' STEERIN', 
DAZZLIN' LIGHTNIN' PERENNIAL A' CONQUERIN', 
TAE TH' INFINITE ITS WAR-BLUID INCREASIN', 
O'ER TH' SCYLD O' TH' OWAR-MANN
AYS A FYRE-RAY AN' MICHT STAR FLASHIN', 
AN' IN FEUDAL AIRN DWELLIN',

Hwenne! HYS Substance frae Bluid Sacrificial intae Gleamin' Steel turned, 
Thro' Loud Cries frae th' Battle thad stylle heard Ah:

WULFUM BEARHTM!

Stylle Liquid Metal o' War Dazzlin'! Feudal Wapin Formidable! 
Weaponized Airn-Soul Fetch'in-Micht o' mine! 
Wha's naim, in loud cries stylle! ays a BLINDIN' STAR O' WAR SUPREME,

HEOFONSTEORRA-GEBYLD,

Frae th' Remote Zone Mirk o' th' Luminous Skye nowe appearin'
Waes! Þenne Distinct a Titan Steel-Colossal IT becam, 
Whileas Thae Auld Woirds o' War Whispered Thay!

BLÓDWRACU,

Wee, ewyre-remembered, an' nae at a' Damnable Thay! 
Thad winna Thay a' ne'er, ne'er fade awa! stylle
Wi'in ear o' mine thro' th' Whooshin' Wynde
An' o'er th' whole Kintra rulin', stick-an'-stowe felt Ah:

ENDELĒAS MANFULTUM OND MÆGENÞISE
MĪN GEWILL ÆT SĒ ŌFER-MANN BIÞ, 
FORWEARD OND ÆGHWÆR STÍELE SWĀ, 
ÞA ÍSENWYRHTAN SĒ ŌFER-MANN,

Th' Frame! The Verra Frame o' Hye Conquerin' Steel-Feudal! 
Frae yondir Norþan-hymbre auld an' verra colorful! 
Wae th' War-Blade Bleezan intae deep Thais Battle-Storne, 
Th' Scarred in th' Cheek! th' Lone Scyld-Fighter:

BORDHREÓÐAN SCEADUGENGA OND WRECEND!

Nowe unco! Great Orrah! o' Soarin' War-Airn Empowered! 
Wi'in Thoosan Hye Skye-Clashes! Wi'in Thoosan Onslaughts, A' Rairan o' mine! 
Tae nowe in Airn schawe ye a'! HYE HEL:

EFTWYRD-GEWILL OND ÆLÍFES GEWIDERE, 
MĪN HEOFONFYRE WÆPENÞRACU! 
NU LÍGETSLIEHTUM SĒ ÞEGN, 
SWĀ STÍELE ĒACEN SĒ ŌFER-MANN,

Frae th' Bygane ays allwayis a Blank intae th' Gore dabbed, 
Towardis th' Future ays allwayis a Dangerus Landis! 
Whare th' cowardly enemies allwayis lurk an' await:

BEADOLEÓMAN UNWEORÐE!

Th' same wae TH' WYLLE TAE TH' HYE OVERMAN waes! 
Richte Nowe! Thais Steel-Titan Micht afore mine eyes
O'er th' corpses o' th' fallen an' intae th' Core-Fyre Sacrificial
Thad HYS SOLAR SCYLD held hye! stylle receivin' IT waes:

AHWÆR OND BALDLICE, 
EFT HEAÐUSIGLES ÁNWÍG,

Fore willin' th' Bygane ays IT haes bin in th' Overman Hye! 
Th' future ays empowered in HYS Feudal Person waes tae, 
Fore Willin' waes, IT! willin' th' Person o' Overman alone! 
Lyke a Verra Destination Tangible o' mine, IT! 
Intae thais Colossus o' Battle-Gore boilin' ays Cast Steel, Thad Wylle!

ÞYRSUM HEAÐUWÆD,

Thad th' Rational Firey Ah say, Continuum o' Lowes waes IT haudin! 
Wpon th' Scyld o'er an' o'er Flashin' IT, hynne Steel-Crucial! 
Increasin' IT! ITS Force Micht an' the Ray! tae th' Endless Skye! 
An' th' Frame! Th' Verra Noble Frame IRONCLAD-FEUDAL!

AD ALTA SIDERA INVICTO METALLO
NUPER SUPREMUM ARTIFICIUM BELLI
FLAMMISQUE CORPUS EXTRAMUNDANUM
QUOD GEWILL OVERMAN NUNC NOMINATUR
ERIT FERRO MAGNO SANGUINEQUE ET SCUTO
IN PROELIO APUD CAMPUM CARHAM
RUBRA VEXILLA REDITUS IGNEA SPIRAQUE
INVICTO METALLO VOLUNTAS MEA,

Fore, ageyne! Beguid Great, Great Orrah! 
Th' willin' Ane Thynge waes! wae Thais Steel-Titan O'erhuman! 
Thad GEWILL OVERMAN o'er Carham's Gory Landis waes IT called Auld:

SWEOLUNGA OND ÆLINGUM SWIÞE SWĀ! 
ÞÆR MĪN GLOWENDE-ÆDREGEARD ĀRĀS,

Fore, ageyne! Great Glamis' Wae Orrah! 
Willin' backiewards th' Bygane ays IT allwayis in Gore haes bin, 
Waes IT! willin'th' Overman ays nae laanger a Blank an' a War-Cauld:

HEÁFODWYLME OND SWEOLOÐAN HLEO!

Fore, ageyne! Þunores Fair an' Wounded Orrah! 
Willin' th' Bygane ays Want o' Pow'r waes willin' th' future ays Pow'r, 
Intae th' Verra Steel-Person o' Thais O'erhuman Steel-Avenger untold:

SĒ ĪSERN-HEREWÆÐA,

Fore, ageyne! Dagur's Guid Orrah o' mine! 
Willin' backiewards intae th' Tyme Irreversible, hynne unco Unforgivin' IT! 
Waes IT! willin' th' future ays Skye-Empowered nowe! 
Intae th' Person o' th' Overman Thais Steel-Titan o'er th' Scyld-Wa Micht, 
Thro' th' Spiral-Continuum thad Becomin' ays Increase in Pow'r waes: 

TH' SEL-RETURNIN' RAY CONDENSATIN' FYRE-JOYFUL:
FULLMÆGENES BRYNELEÓMA,
WPON TH' COLOSSAL SCYLD HELD IT, wae th' arm VERRA HYE! 

Fore ageyne! Devastatin' frae Cauld Thule Orrah! 
Th' bygane intae th' Airn-Person o' th' Overman ays IT haes bin! 
Must be IT willed! Fore thus different IT shall agyne be! 
Ays empow'red intae th' Central an' unco Firey-Abysmal IT, 
An' wae Rid Lowes hynne Rid! Return o' Pow'r Event:

BÆLÞRACE WUDUROSE!

Firm Thynge! an' Verra Core wi'in continual Becomin' ays Pow'r, 
Fore, ageyne! Thoosan Thundirs' Skye-Orrah! 
Tae affirm Lyife tae affirm th' OVERMAN nesisarie IT waes! 
Ays Wylle Superior, hynne True Wylle IT provin'! 
Ma Final Inner Strength! Ma Ultimate Inner Vision!

ÞUNORUM OND BEADWE GRYRELÉOÐE, 
MĪN WIGSIGOR-GESIHÐNES HLÍFEDE!

Thad ainlie Thais Steel-Jǫtunn o' War cannae, wi'in Battle-Lowes Hye! 
Across Auld Carham's Colorful, verra Colorful Scyld Wa Micht nae be! 

BREIÐØX-DRENGR ÆN ATGANGA!

Frae th' Past allwayis bleedin'! intae th' Future allwayis Dangerus! 
An' nae for a' wi'in th' Great Spiral o' Strife, o'er th' Battlefield
Ah nowe stylle see, Thais Steel-Spirit unco waes!

ÁGLÆCAN WUNDORSÉON, HĀL! 
NU MĪN FEORHBOLD BRǢDEÞ SWIÞE, 
RANDWÍGA WÆS IC! SĒ BISENE WRECEND! 
SWURD ON HANDA! HEORU-DRĒORE NACOD! 
HILDE-GRĪMAN! RÝNE STÍELE OND CRÆFTUM
BEADU WÆPEN, BRYNEWELMES STÁNTORR, 
HEAÐUWYLME OND STIELE SWĀ, 
GEWILL ÆT SĒ ŌFER-MANN HÂTEN,

Þenne, och! Great Guid Orrah! Tae nae mere War-Legend nowe fullefylle! 
Let mee ma Vision lastly recollect! THRIE SKYE-GLOBES O' SKYE-FYRE Fwlle! 
Tae ma Battle-Scarred Sight appeared out-owre th' Conquerin' Sunne! 
Intimately blended Thay A'! intae Thais Soarin' Metal-Fusion Gleamin' stylle: 
TH' OVERMAN! AN' TH' BEIN' AYS POW'R, unco Magnificent Thynge! 
AN' TH' RETURN AYS INCREASE IN POW'R! a Reingȝe formin' o'er yondir Hylle! 
Flashin' A' Thay! wae Thais STEEL-TITAN ays hynne ma Verra Guid Battle-Wylle!

GEGYLDEN HRINCG GEWILLE!

poor littow parsite,
wer have you beeny?
Ive gotten my nanny
to knit you a beanie.
Your sores on my skin
are going all cleany
Im sorry I squashed you,
Im such a meanie.

Why is life such a a meanie such a bully
There's no controlling it, it's so unruly
Some times it only gives me a ******, other times it knocks me to my knees
It just does what it please
But lately it's been knocking me out
What the **** is that all about
Life sure does need to stop this plight
That it has against my right
To be happy now and then
So I can at lest offer the world a grin
But I still have a furrowed brow
I wear the same old scowl
Because my life is such a bully
It's become so ******* unruly

There is the bully
who is mean and bad
She laughs at us
and makes us sad

We have a name
we made for her
"Miss Piglet" is
what she is for sure

She is a bad pig
for not all of them are
Some are so sweet
the best by far

Her bad nasty ways
like pushing in the hall
throwing play-doh at us
and laughing when we fall

We call her meanie
"Miss Piglet" the crone
whose mouth is cruel
with feelings like stone

She is so much trouble
for us to bear
Her temper needs nothing
for it to flare

But we will take her one day
and tell her what we think
She will be so put down
and feel like a freak

She will be taught a lesson
on being good and kind
We will teach her how
to keep in line

Since I’ve been back
life hasn’t been the same.
I see children playing happily
and all I can think of
is the world they’re growing up in.
It’s not happy.
It’s not good.
This is an evil world.
They laugh at one another,
call out funny insults.
“You’re a meanie-head!”
“Well...”
a little girl with pigtails
struggles
to formulate an appropriate response,
“you’re a ****-face!”
They play games on monkey bars,
run from each other.
They are innocent,
ignorant.
They have no idea
the horror that awaits.
I wonder fo them
how many will go on
to see true evil?
To perform it?
To encompass the intrinsic definition?
How many will go on
to see what I have?
To hold a child’s hand
while they bleed out?
How many will
actually find happiness,
maybe never even understand
what I know exists.
I hope for their sakes
that’s how it is.

They continue to live in
ignorance.
Innocence.

Stella said," Momma, I want a jump castle for my friends at my birthday, and daddy."
But daddy won't be there
"Momma, I hate court. That judger is a meanie weanie."
I know baby, shhh
"Can I have a jump castle?"
You'll have your castle, now hush
Stella sais," Momma, why don't daddy like me?"
He does baby
"Why won't he look at me?"
I don't know, princess, daddy is sick
"He needs a doctor and a sucker and a shot."
Yes baby, shush
She said,"Momma, why did daddy hurt you, like the tangles hurt my hairs?"
I don't know baby

Well, there was this girl,
She lives her life as a lie,
She continues to explore the world of sin,
While feeling dead in side

As she took the blade,
And her body swayed
She's thinkin'
"Worthless
Pathetic
Useless
Psychotic
I was born in the wrong time,
And in the wrong place."

As she sat in the bathroom,
And popped some pills,
She said "I'm sorry mom and dad, I'm breaking the rules."

She messaged a boy who she is, not supposed to talk to,
He told her,
Begged her not to,
But when she tells the boy its  too late
He went to the principle with a sad look on his face

The principle rushes to the girl
As she whirled around and takes one last look at the wold
She stops and faces him,
He throws her a looks so grim

She breaks down crying
Saying she's sorry
Explaining everything
He was so worried

As she was rushed to the hospital
She starts to feel a little uneasy,
And tired.
She thought " At least now my mom knows I'm not a liar"
The doctor asks what is happening
And that is when she began explaining

"I'm sixteen and I'm feeling so nervous,
Tell me why is it that everyone is so perfect,
While I feel so worthless
And everyone's so happy
But recently for me
My mood has been so ******

I've been attempting to get better at life,
But my arms are still scared
From using my own knife
And doctor,
Tell my family that I'm sorry,
I'm regretful for not being a good daughter, sister, cousin, friend, family member,
I'm sorry I'm a failure at life."
She stops explaining as tears roll down her face,
She shows her scared and cut wrist to the doctors worried face

It was January 12th that day
January 12th of 2017
This girl is 17 today
Going to turn 18 in a month,

This girl is me
I'm being seen
Now lets see here,
I no longer have that fear
I still have my scars
But at least I can still view the stars

I've been used by guys,
I've been hurt by girls,
I've fought with my mom
And been cursed by the world
I'm calm now
Speaking out being heard
Talking to my family about my issues
Winning the battle that still continues

I only want to share my story
To assist those who worry
Worry about not making it
Worry about giving in

I want to tell them "Your not alone,
You don't have to fight this battle on your own,
We will get through it together
I promise you
Things will only get better"

I'm raising suicide awareness,
To help those who really need it
Tell them " i lived through this,
So put that blade down,
Stand your ground,
You so much smarter than you think
So put down that drink
Come out of the shade
Put down the blade
Get a hug
Drop the drugs
Be a sweetie
Not a meanie
Get up out of bed
And get help instead
Put the cigarette down,
Relax and take a good look around.
You're not alone,
So make yourself known."

Do you think you're better off alone?
When the ceiling of a ***** room
Is the night sky and stars and
You're getting comfortable in late night gloom.

.

I'd hate to go home alone but I never left my bed.

.

What's worth the air in your lungs today?
Is it the people you forgot to keep in touch with
Or the helpless yearning for something
Or the life you remember you used to miss.

.

I smoke cigarettes for the warmth in my lungs
And the burn in my throat
Like one thousand bright suns.

.

You could've been vulnerable and explained that
You'd **** for an hour with warm arms around you
And a listening ear, and ****** movies on Netflix
And that cry you refused to allow yourself to do.

.

If any less of a **** was given about your problems
The whole world would be constipated
Permanently.

.

I could've pretended awkward hands in the dead of night
Meant true love, meant something, meant, at least, mutual 'like'.
But denials' for people who don't think so much
And thinkings' my best ally and my worst crutch.

.

You should take hold of your life today, get up, do something
But this bed is safe, this bed is familiar for the ambition-less
And you're the only one who shat there
So sleep in it.

.

The futures' only bright for optimists and I'd never be accused of that.

.

When I'm getting tired of wrapping a lack of feeling
Into precise stanzas, lines, and rhymes
Maybe I'll figure out what I've been rambling on about
Stand up, and live my life.

.

Eenie, meanie, miney, mo
What the **** is life good for
I'll trade you a penny, you give me a dime
And we're all still running on borrowed time.

.

You're too tired to sleep today; three more and you won't wake up.

.

This is the end, I've picked out a date
Got everything planned out, no one's awake, no one can stop me.
Wait. I chickened out, missed it again, failed like the failure I am.
Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

.

Isolation's only fun for the people with nothing better to do.

.

There's no good way to end something that began badly.
I should remember that
It's a good line
Almost proverbial.

Lovely queenie
She is so smart she calls me up when I am down always yells at me orders me around

bosses me to move puts me in my place takes no crap from me slaps me cold then laughs at my face!

Lovely Queenie

Impetuous meanie
Drove her tires across my feet
Drives me wild my heart skips a beat...

When she's not here I lose my mind cause I think of her most all the time

grass, gas, or *** nobody rides for free
cops and robbers and the indian hides for me
my *** ate grass got gas and then shies on me
my horse got sores got shot, and dies on me

all us poor kids didn't mind to be a tribe
eenie meanie mighty moe never helped us hide
tony two tooth's daddy likes to run around
his mom is gonna play too and "hunt him down"

one two buckle in my shoe, toys in the attic
hopscotch buckshot semi-automatic
piggy goes to market this piggy stays home
then, this old man comes rollin home all alone

sorry coach but this year i can't go out
daddy blew out his knee and my shoe had a blow out
richie rich called his stepbrother a snitch
sweet summer hits with a hickory switch

jump back charlie jack you know how we feel
bacon comes from a hog boy not from a meal
hoppa fence it's 50 cents for stolen fruit
poppa top drop no deposit no returns pollute

Why is life such a a meanie such a bully
There's no controlling it, it's so unruly
Some times it only gives me a ******, other times it knocks me to my knees
It just does what it please
But lately it's been knocking me out
What the **** is that all about
Life sure does need to stop this plight
That it has against my right
To be happy now and then
So I can at lest offer the world a grin
But I still have a furrowed brow
I wear the same old scowl
Because my life is such a bully
It's become so ******* unruly

I will miss the days when
You count from one to ten
As you kiss me now and then
And repeat it again and again

You used to poke my face
And gently bite my ear
As you whisper "wake up my dear"
"Breakfast is ready, Let's eat it here"
Oh! what joy must I feel

I shall never forget
That you treat me like a princess
As you bought me this necklace

It's Priceless!

                                    I'm Speechless!

                                                   ­           But I will treasure it with greatness

But the one thing I love the most
Is when our cat Penny came to post
You gave her to me, for me to host
I shall forever cherish her, from coast to coast


(You meanie! You know that I love cats!)
(Would you take care of her for me?)
(Remember to feed her twice a day, and clean her water dish every week, She doesn't like moldy water dish)
( I Love You Penny!, please take care of daddy for me :* )

I doodle our names
Over and over
And over and over again
And then I draw so many hearts
That it makes me sick.
I do all this because I like you
I like you like first grade.
When I call you a meanie **** face
That’s to show how much I care.
I wish I could bluntly tell you how I feel.
I would say:
“I think you’re cute”
“I like-like you”
But I can’t say those thing
Because you can’t a boy you like him
If it makes you look like an idiot
And I am tongue tied
In the presence of you
It is impossible for me to look in your eyes
And not speak in an idiotic, incoherent babble.
I like you like first grade
I’ll chase you around the playground,
I’ll steal a kiss when I finally tag you.
I want to catch all your cooties,
Because, baby, I’m love sick.
I want to hold hands
Til all the other kids say “eww”
Because boys are gross,
Well, all boys except you.
Maybe I’ll have my mom call your mom
And we can go on a play date.
Juice boxes,
Pillow forts
And old Disney movies.
How romantic?
But for now I’ll just doodle
Until I get up the courage to pass the note
With three check boxes
Do you like me back?
Yes?
No?
Maybe?

What happened to the land of the free?
What ever became of American equality?
When was The Great Take-back begun?
What became of “with malice toward none”?
What happened to rich people’s responsibilities?
When did we decide our peers were enemies?
Why didn’t we learn from the Great Depression?
Why are we letting them set up another session?

Eenie meanie mighty mo, when is it fine to hire a **?
Hickory slicker zippity zopp, when is this b.s. going to stop?

Why have we let ourselves think like adolescents?
Why do we keep liars and cheaters in our presence?
It’s up to us each who what lies we should tolerate,
So when does being a mountebank go out of date?
When do we start fighting and hitting bullies back
When they make it known they’re on the wrong track.
How many times will they have to lie and steal
For the rest of us to know their villainy is real?

Fluster and bluster and flippity flopping, confidence is dropping
We can no longer trust our leaders to protect, so let’s reject.

When did all of our statesman turn into real estate’s men?
When did the human in humanity cease to matter at all?
What makes half the country vote for a scoundrel horde?
What did our country accomplish by dropping the ball?
Why have we become the people we used to dislike so
And now we are the ones who arm and **** each other?
And why do we still have many lifetimes or more to go
To finish paying for murdering and pillaging our brothers?

Questions, suggestions, all are loudly ignored by them,
Our leaders whose sense of decency has grown dim.

My whole life has been a ******* crazy adventure. I have done some things that I will never speak of and wanted nothing more but to flirt with those demons forever.. but love has changed me, yet those shadows I have to put up with to be with this beautiful creation.. yet truly I want nothing more now but live every moment and every dying breath with her by my side. I want to give her everything.. I want a life amongst the normal world.. but I have destroyed every heart that has cared for me, trying to get out of this grave, while having to keep feeding these creatures.. trying to show her happiness, and she is facing her own abyss.. I would give anything to escape and pull her into my arms and make all these monsters go away but I am scared one might pull her back in while I am while my back is turned battling another and I wont be able to recover her.. that is why I have nothing to show for and why rainbows and butterflies aren't clouding up the world around me and that is why I am so stressed out... I love her more then anything and will either decay in torment with her or live life... either way I will be happy with her even if I am a meanie sometimes... its only because I want better for her and want her to be truly happy.. just wish she knew how much worth she really has in my eyes... Love you Miss Lacy Duncan <3 and I promise I always will!