"lmao" poems
*Crawling in my skin
cringe, cringe, cringe-
it's a meme you dip!*
**AyY **** bye!**
Dec 8, 2015
Dec 8, 2015 at 4:15 AM UTC
Where are you Paul?
I'm in Cyberspace Mum.
My Pentium processor has broadbanded me
Into this wondrous realm.
A pixel powered virtual landscape
Peopled by avatars
Speaking Internet Slang.
FFS, *** are you talking about?
She asks.
In so many words.
I **** and ROFL at her incredulity.
It’s full of danger, that Internet, says Mum.
That’s true.
It’s full of paedophiles,
Spammers and trolls.
Hackers.
Chat-rooms and forums
Plagued by flame-wars
And spam enough to fill a trillion tins.
Sites full of viruses, Trojans, malware and spyware.
Cyber-bullies and loons abound.
But I just Love it.
A ****** addiction
Needing every fix.
A realm indeed of quantum singularities,
And imploding nebulae.
Paul Butters
(C) PB 3\9\2011 in Yorkshire.
Sep 5, 2011
Sep 5, 2011 at 11:09 AM UTC
**** is that her trying to comfort you?"
No, that's her actually noticing that it ***** and doing something
You didn't answer it even when I pointed at it subtly
I bet you were just laughing
Jealousy fills you again
At this point I've given up
I don't know what to say
I don't want to say; you're the only friend that matters and yeah what the hell was she thinking?
She cares and I know she does
She shows it not through a lot of talking or jokes
She shows through small things that show me she notices them
You said you'd keep it away from me
Yet here we are again
You're pushing it onto me
Must be **** that I saw it before you deleted the text saying that
I won't address it
I'm not making that mistake again
What matters
Is that you realized
You shouldn't have sent that text in the first place
Nov 11, 2017
Nov 11, 2017 at 1:10 PM UTC
He won’t cut his hair
Because his ears will get cold
And his eyes are dark brown
But they stare into my soul
He doesn't want to be close
Or give out hugs
But he’s always there
To check how I am
And I like this boy
And it’s ******* annoying
And I like this boy
With his drawing obsession
And his chat about a game
I have no clue about
Or an anime series
That I’ve never seen
And we joke about how
He’s so **** at maths
And he compliments my new hat
Because he knows I want one
But no one else has
And he's quick to defend me
Like I am for him
And we gel really well
But I wish we weren't friends
Being friends makes things awkward
So I'll ignore it instead
For a couple of years
Then remember and go
Oh **** yeah
**** I used to like that emo lookin kid
But he only looked like that
Because he refused to get his haircut
Because his ears would get cold
Jan 6, 2022
Jan 6, 2022 at 5:51 PM UTC
avalanche, mystifying icon
you are still on my bright screen
yet i no longer linger upon yours
lo and behold i try to
muster up the courage to
approach you
only to fail, flee, or **** it all up.
Apr 30, 2014
Apr 30, 2014 at 1:53 PM UTC
I have an assignment that need to be submitted by tomorrow. yet, here I am arranging words, twisting, flipping, painting, yawning, crying for help, mercy, sickness to come sits by my side. Ugh, I am not even started a word. How do people graduate anyway. Anyone wants to come and kidnap me for a day? **** I'm so done.
May 10, 2015
May 10, 2015 at 11:12 AM UTC
I'm tired of missed calls
Undelivered texts,
Removing digital evidence
Of an ex.
Typing 'lmao' when
longing to howl
Pressing like, acting,
you're on the prowl.
Weary of condensing my
message
To just on small
passage.
Tap it all out,
Just to backspace,
like what you need to express,
Is a plain old waste.
Look up from your paper thin,
Retina display,
Don't let technology
Get in the way.
Take chances, soar
ignore the device
that makes your life
so impure.
Throw away the shackles,
Reconcile,
Cry on shoulders,
Whisper, wander for hours,
Whatever you do,
Ignore the iPhone's powers.
Love love love,
And don't feel bad,
For not getting a text back,
Is not the worst pain you've had.
Be truly elated, this time
don't pretend
put down your mobile,
As for now, in this moment.
Technology needs to end.
Feb 3, 2015
Feb 3, 2015 at 4:51 PM UTC
A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, “Dad, how many kinds of ***** are there?” The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s ******* are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions.” “Onions?” the son asks. “Yes. You see them and they make you cry.” This infuriated his wife and daughter. The daughter asks, “Mom, how many different kinds of ******* are there?” The mother smiles and says, “Well, dear, a man goes through three phases also. In his 20s, his ***** is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it’s like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it’s like a Christmas tree.” “A Christmas tree?” the daughter asks. “Yes, dead from the root up and the ***** are just for decoration..lmao
Oct 20, 2014
Oct 20, 2014 at 12:36 AM UTC
yesterday i was wondering where the sun went…
then it dawned on me.
Dec 10, 2014
Dec 10, 2014 at 12:34 AM UTC
caught up in a sa of altrd imags
alcohol flowing
rd pupils
from all th slfis
****
scroll up /// scroll down
m8 u waz wastd
vryon at ach othr
voics scrambl;ing
for pol position
#popularity laddr
a flck of jalousy
slic of malic
*fyi
grn lights signal
sombody cars rite??
hr bgins th dz-dss-
the dscnt into pixls
primary colours
'oMG xx'
night grows old
plot unravls lik a ball of string
coagulats thick and bad
let fingrs do the talkin' 4 u
nams bcom strangrs
bcom nams bcom strangrs
TTYL
:)
Jan 29, 2015
Jan 29, 2015 at 6:09 PM UTC
BRB, LOL
*** what the hell?
Can't today's kids learn to spell?
The things they write
I cannot tell
Has education
Gone to hell?
Can someone out there help me?
I can't read what they've written down
They're writing's really rotten
Penmanship's a basic skill
That most kids have forgotten
**** BRB
404 AND BBC
These don't mean a thing to me
Can someone out there help me?
Spellcheck is their holy grail
Without this app, most kids would fail
There'd be no words in tales they tell
Can someone out there help them?
I read a letter I received
The writing I could not believe
I've seen better on my sleeve
Can someone out there read this?
GFN, GFAP
FAQ, ASAP
Explain what I just wrote to me
Can someone out there help....please?
Sep 9, 2012
Sep 9, 2012 at 10:49 AM UTC
On the internet
I begin to fret
When I keep learning my worth
Like I have been since birth
This thing called online dating
Seems to give me my rating
The conversation is scripted
No matter how I've flipped it
I conjure a hello hell
When they answer
In the form of lol
They strike a ko
Once they type ****
And my skin starts to fry
When I read kthxbai
I'm left staring at a computer
Wishing I had been ruder
So I become jaded
And develop a slick approach
My patience has faded
And I start to think like a coach
Drawing x's and o's
To get people I chose
There are those that stalk
And those that balk
Some just want to talk
And it's never their fault
There are those that are mean
And those that are green
Some are just teens
All looking to be seen
I'm the watcher
Their profiles remain the same as days become the past
I'm the botcher
I either go too slow or too fast
So I stay perfectly still
And wait for my fill
I become a scavenger ravager
When winter comes I am savager
To those I consider mere passengers
Other vultures migrate south for the winter
I remain sedentary on a power line
Frost develops on my wings
I seek warmth to survive
I see a dying stallion laying in an empty field alone
I swoop in for the ****
My quest for survival becomes one of comfort
For the taste of the stud infatuates me
And my enthusiasm overwhelms me
As I eat through its exterior into its heart
I find its diminishing warmth unsatisfactory
But I'm caught in its rib cage
And what was once sustenance
Is now my blizzard prison
It's a big derision
Not flying through the air
But also not quite a pair
So I wait for a summer that may never show
My life lit by the computer screen's glow
Displaying faces of people I'll never know
My vulture's talons buried in desert snow
Dec 20, 2017
Dec 20, 2017 at 4:12 AM UTC
You use lingo that flows yes
But I protest
How is it that I KILLIN YOU?
What do you mean? Am I scaring you again?
laughs Do not worry
I am just going to drug you and pounce
oh look I have hands this time!!!
****
NAAA I am ******* wit you
Maybe I do not want to blow the fantasy
Can that be topped?
We can be great friends you and I
but then again
First waves come with little knowledge
Now your dangerous cause you know my verse
I should dress in layers and pretend
ain't nothing happening between friends
Kick it in your chair at the other end..
grab your **** and make it mine
Scared again> yet> waves might get you wet?
Come on I saw you surf
Your not afraid of getting snarled at or hearing GRRRS
wait wait..We can kick it as friends do not hurry
Hang ten in your chair with no worry
Wanna watch Rocky Horror with Tim Curry?
How am I killin you dude? ; ) You poor *******
Apr 25, 2014
Apr 25, 2014 at 3:36 PM UTC
1
poor Rachael
married for love
Now twenty years through
and ignored by the hubby
who’s given up work
and sits at home drinking all day
No more kind words to Rachael
never a gentle look,
but just sarcasm and imbecilities all day
Will not even come out for a walk
with Rachael;
no desire for fresh air
just sits there drinking and farting -
Poor Rachael, she never comes back
to fresh air or a kind look
2
Rachael is out today
with a mission to make her life pleasant
“A pet is what I’ll have,”
she says to herself
and she’s in a pet shop now
looking at an exotic bird
3
“That there,” says the shop owner
*“is a bird rare and unique;
let me demonstrate”*
And straight he says to the bird:
“Zasala, the table!”
And Zasala flies straight and swift
to the table – and appecks* and demolishes
the table as swift as you can say ***
“Zasala, the broom!”
And Zasala flies straight and swift
to the broom – and appecks* and demolishes
the broom as swift as you can say ****
“I’ll take it," says Rachael, with a smile
Poor Rachael, she hasn’t smiled in years
4
“Darling,” says Rachael
the moment she gets home
*“Look what I’ve got –
an exotic bird, Zasala!”*
And straight Rachael’s clueless husband says:
“Zasala, my foot!”
Jun 21, 2012
Jun 21, 2012 at 6:16 AM UTC
Often in the corner of our screens we look,
For love from others we seek.
Notifications come flooding in on Facebook,
After we post the usual critique or picture of our physique.
"You look so cute!" the girls want to hear us say
While the guys, **** dude you were so wasted last night!" makes them feel accepted.
"So and so is going to this event. Why aren't you?" Facebook says; "Display!"
We fear if we don't, we'll not feel connected.
"I can quit whenever I want to." we say.
Really? I'd like to see you try just one day.
"But my friends need to know what I'm doing and-"
No. Take your mind off the screen and instead lend a helping hand.
I fear the future;
What my offspring will be exposed to,
That instead of encouragement to have adventure,
They will be even more addicted, their faces to the screen ever more glued.
I grew up playing in the dirt out back,
Now, I am told that it's "friends" I lack.
With my brother I played,
We'd sit and drink lemonade.
Now at night I sit in a dark room,
Wearing an online costume.
I hope that instead I will be myself
And not have to prove myself
To the world that I am unique,
That instead I can make shine what was bleak.
I grew up with Legos. You could say, I was "addicted,"
But now by this computer I have been infected.
Yes Facebook can be a useful tool!
We can use it to get together and "act a fool"
With our friends and have a blast,
Or ask questions to our college class.
But if it takes us away from the outside,
If it takes us away from nature's sky,
Then I'd rather quit;
Then I'd rather benefit
From that which God made
And not to which we have become slaves.
That's my two cents on the matter.
I don't mean this to make a clatter.
I don't even want you to "Like"
Or comment on how our thoughts are alike.
Just read and go about your "Facebooking,"
And maybe as we, in life, keep looking,
We'll find the courage to quit overlooking
What we've spent hours on,
What we've sacrificed our short time upon,
That which will hopefully be forgone.
I heard once that life is but a window
That we as birds fly through.
That we are not in limbo,
But that our lives vanish in a time too few.
I've let Facebook take me away from that which is eternal,
I've let it take me away from writing in my journal
About what I've read in the Bible,
Or from how I've come to see how God is vital.
In "All Is For Your Glory" I sing,
"Catch me up in Your story
All my life, for Your Glory"
Yet I stare blankly at the blue and white
And so easily get distracted from "My Delight."
May 8, 2014
May 8, 2014 at 9:25 AM UTC
Wake Up Johnny
I want to discuss so much!
We can forget about where we left off
Even though I was touched ****
Oh don't worry this is clean..HAR HAR
You know what I mean
Wake up ..what ever country your in
I can't remember my mind is full, I grin!
Wake up Johnny I need to talk!
I want your company
To hear your unexpected remarks
Your foolery is fun..where ever you are
Bring the SUN..wake him up
I have tales well spun!!!!
Wake up Johnny
Apr 14, 2014
Apr 14, 2014 at 4:32 AM UTC
I love it whenever Cookie. . .
kneaded her cute paws on cushions. . .
slept on my bed. . .
slept near the TV. . .
slept on top of the furniture cabinet. . .
slept in between my legs. . .
gave us Norman, Zoe, Vincent and ****** (but he sadly left us so soon). . .
played with her kittens. . . and. . .
defended them whenever Buddy bullies them. . .
gave me gentle gazes. . .
gave me gentle meows. . .
looked at me with her big, innocent eyes. . .
played very energetically. . .
showed her the moments where sheʼs still a kitten at heart. . .
she comes whenever we call her. . .
she responds to calling her name. . .
was very affectionate. . .
melts my heart every time. . .
she rolled around whenever she was playful. . .
she told off Claudia sometimes. . .
comforted me without any effort. . .
I love her tri-colored coat, her beautiful innocent eyes, her cute face that I will dearly miss. I may have not shown you how much I love you, Cookie, but I will always remember you through your babies. I will protect them.
I love it whenever Oli. . .
knocked over things whenever he throwed a tantrum. . .
bit or scratch me gently when I irritate him. . .
whined when I hug him. . .
ignored me whenever I call him. . .
would give me a meow of warning before biting me. . .
followed me home the first time I saw him. . .
gave me that irritated gaze. . .
can be sweet when he want to be. . .
screams whenever he fights with some other cat. . .
doesnʼt want to fight other cats. . .
lightly bumps my hand or lean whenever I touch him. . .
slept beside me. . .
slept on top of the refrigerator. . .
doesnʼt care about pleasing me. . .
knew that I love him so much.
Oli knew how much I love him. I love the black spot on his lower lip, his orange eyes, his white and orange coat, the cute pattern of his front paws, his long orange tail, his innocent face, his gayness **** I love every single detail about you, baby.
I never thought that you impregnating Pola was a blessing in disguise, because I didnʼt know that you would leave us so soon.
You might be gone, pero lahat kayong mga dumaan sa buhay ko ay may kanya-kanyang espesyal na lugar sa puso ko. Miss na miss ko na kayo. Sobra. You guys are perfect. You didnʼt deserve any of what happened to you. Iʼm sorry I couldnʼt protect you guys from this cruel world. One day, you will get the justice you deserve. And the same goes for all of the animals they abused. Hindi natutulog ang Diyos. They will get what they deserve.
October 15, 2019 - July 22, 2021
October 14, 2019 - July 22, 2021
Jul 24, 2021
Jul 24, 2021 at 3:13 PM UTC
By Arc
Your life is,
Your aim is,
Your words are,
Your exterior is obsolete,
I don't give a **** about you opinions,
I'll make you admit defeat,
We don't smoke the same,
We dont chill the same,
I am above you,
You fresh meat,
I am or naw,
Or you just weak,
I'll have a whole army,
After me.
****
Oct 11, 2014
Oct 11, 2014 at 2:57 PM UTC
god **** it all
i want to be kissed
and have someone
who cares about me
because it's hardly midnight
and it's hardly
a late night convo
when the only person
that you have to talk to
is yourself.
Aug 4, 2014
Aug 4, 2014 at 12:23 AM UTC
***
half here in a 1.5x body
six inches above the national average height
I didn't notice when I was marooned in the clouds
now a pariah afraid of birds (SQUAWK)
(CAWING)
"It's too foggy to notice much here"
"Too bad I didn't pay attention"
(RIBBING)
too b a d
so s a d
That nobody sad I was sick till it was too late…
…now I've got smack on the brain, nothing in my **** and empty pockets for innumerable bills
except I always find money for ***** whose blurry touch tells me not to feel, too feel, and to speak.
I wonder when I became ******** and when I stopped being exceptional.
Maybe they're synonymous?
IDK **** K I L L ME, maYBE
This is too long of a poem for anyone to read it
Dec 11, 2013
Dec 11, 2013 at 1:53 AM UTC
I know we've lost emotions
We've reached a higher level of interaction but it takes more than time to
show our emotion in emoticon
Like laughter is just a click away
72 different reactions all a smile face while we blindly display these and somehow still feel out of place
We arr more than signs
Emojis and emoticons
A higher of communication
And somehow it still gets lost in translation
This
Is
Just
A
Miss
Under
Standing
But im sitting dowb typing out how i feel without a doubt
I
Feel so
Lowkey
And empty
I must send
Lmao's and emojis
So shorty
Can know me
For
Me
Jan 26, 2019
Jan 26, 2019 at 2:06 AM UTC
What you said:
"LOL"
"bahahah"
****
"hehe"
"😂"
"hahahah"
What you wanted to say:
im in pain
i want a hug
im mad
im sad
im dissapointed
i miss him
im hurting
im crying
i want to cry
im not eating much anymore
im upset
i dont care
i don't know how to feel
i know that you dont know how to express your feelings, and i understand
you say "LOL" or "hahaha" when absolutely nothing is funny
you say it when you're hurting the most
but why does it help you cope
to say the opposite of what you're feeling
Nov 6, 2020
Nov 6, 2020 at 8:35 PM UTC