Pta nahi kyu rukta nahi ashqon ka behna,

Jab bhi yaad aati hai aapki aankho se hain kehna.

Hoth kuch keh nahi paate,

Dil aur rooh bhi seham se jaate.

Chaha hai aapko chahat se bhi badhkar,

Khade hain khuda ke ghar jholi failakar.

Hey uparwale agar kabhi zindagi mein koi accha karam kiya **,

Toh jeevan ki saari khushiyan meri unke daaman mein bhar do.

Wo har us mukaam ko haasil kar le,

Jiske liye unhone khwaab dekhe.

Maa ji papa ji ko wo har khushi de paaye,

Jinke liye unhone sane sajaye.

Har gum seh jayenge hum khushi khushi,

Unke chehre par kabhi na aane dena koi mayusi.

Meri jaan basti hai unmein,

Unki dadhkano se chalti hain meri saansein.

Unke kadmo ki aahat ko ye dil dhundhta hai hardum,

Zindagi se bhi pyaare ** aap sanam.

Itne imtehaano ki ghadi se kyu guzarna padta hai khuda,

Pal pal ki duri bhi sahi nahi jaati kyu krte ** juda.

Haath jodkar fariyaad karte hain hum aapse ishwar,

Koi aanch na aane dena kabhi unpar.

Jab tak thoda dur hain hum,

Khayal rakhna unka tum.

Unke siva hai hi kaun humara,

Jodi humari humesha salamat rakhna.

Mehfooz rakhna unhe,

Bhut yaad aati hai kasam se.

Meri rooh mera dil meri jaan hain vo,

Hum khush hain khush dekh unko.

ज़िन्दगी का सफ़र बढ़ता चला गया,
हम रोते रह गए बीती बातो को सोच कर,
और एक वक्त है जो बिन परवाह गुज़रता चला गया,

वो हमे ढूंढते रह गए प्यार के गलियो में,
और मेरा प्यार उनके याद में खोता चला गया,

न मंज़िल का पता था न रहने का कोई ठिकाना,
पर ये कम्बख़त दिल है जो उनके प्यार में भटकता चला गया,

मुस्कुराता रहा दिल उनकी मुस्कान देखकर,
और आँखे मेरी उनकी ख्वाब में बहता चला गया,

हमने सोचा था की बड़ा हसीन होंगे हर पल मेरे उनके साथ,
और एक उनका "साथ" है जो किसी और का होता चला गया,

आज तो गज़ब हो गया हम ढूंढते रह गए प्यार के पन्नों को,
और मेरी कलम है जो उन पन्नों में लिपटकर रोता चला गया,

ज़िन्दगी बहुत आसान है यारो अगर आप चाहो तब,
आपने लड़ना छोड़ा,और ये अपनी कस्मकश में हमे डुबोता चला गया,
हमे डुबोता चला गया......|




Zindagi ka safar badhta chalo gya,
Hum rote rah gye biti bato ko soch kar,
Aur ek waqt hai Jo bin parwaah guzarta chala gya,

Wo Hume dhundhte rah gye pyar Ke galiyo me,
Aur mera pyaar unke yaad me khota chala gya,

Na manzil ka pata tha na rahne ka koi thikana,
Par ye kambakhat dil hai Jo unke pyaar me bhatakta chala gya,

Muskurata raha dil unki muskan dekh kar,
Aur aankhen meri unke khwab me bahta chala gya,

Humne socha tha Ki bada haseen honge har pal mera unke sath,
Aur ek unka "Sath" hai Jo kisi aur ka hota chala gya,

Aaj to gazab ** gya hum dhundhte rah gye pyaar ke panno ko,
Aur meri kalam hai Jo un panno me lipatkar rota chala gya,

Zindagi bahut aasan hai yaaro agar aap chaho tab,
Aapne ladna chhoda, aur ye apni kasmkash me Hume dubota chala gya,
Hume dubota chala gya.....

मनीष कुमार श्रीवास्तव

Chahe aaye aandhi ya fir koi tufaan ,
Kamzor nahi padegi hamari udaan .
Chhaon ** ya kadakti dhoop ,
Nikhrega hamara naya roop .

Lakh mushibat aaye nahi rukenge hum,
Badhte jayenge yuhi hum kadam dar kadam,
Rastey chahe kitni bhi mushkil kyon na **,
Har mushkilo ko chirte hue ek din manzil tk pahuch jayenge hum

Bheedh hamesha us raastey par hai chalti ,
Jahan ** na koi mushkil khadi .
Par humne chuna hai raasta alag ,
Kyunki karna hai humne kuch alag .

Itihaas rachna hai tou bhid se alag hona sikho,
Paristithio se daro nhi paristithio ko badalna shikho,
Ek din wo mukaam tumhe mil hi jayega,
Dekh tumhari safalta ko ek din kismat bhi muskurayega,

Mehnat ke bal par likhenge khud ki takdeer,
Takleef ke hain hum mahaveer.
Na chahat hai sitaron ki ,
Na tamanna hai nazaron ki.

Sirf wahi log itihaas rach ke dikhaya hai,
Jisne apne taklifon ko gale lagaya hai,
whi log asafal rah jate hai,
Jo mushkilo se darr tut jate hai,

Har mushkil ka saamna kar ,
Pahuchna hai apni manzil ke shikhar par .
Khamoshiyan sabra ka imtehaan ban gayi ,
Apne man mein Umeed ki jyot jag gayi .

Hum wo hai jo Kismat par rote nahi
Jo rote hai unke kuchh hote nahi,
Mandabuddhi wala einstein tou paper wala kalaam kahlaya,
Apne kaarnamo se hai vishwa me ek alag pahchaan banaya,

Laakhon kasht aa jaye saamne ,
Hamara ishwar bada hai us har takleef ke aage .
Musibaton se baghna na humne kabhi seekha ,
Hamari nanhi akhiyon ne bahut kuch hai dekha.

Milkar humne ye thana hai,
Naam nahi hume etihaas banana hai,
Ab kisi bhi mushkil se na darna hai,
Kyuki Hume kuchh alag karna hai,
Kuchh alag karna hai..


Collab Poem by
Sonia Paruthi & Shrivastva MK.....…....✍

The Phoenix
(To Love and Lose Part 2)
by Ryan Kinney

It started with a broken heart. Through the crack seeped liquid fire. It engulfed me, burning away all that I was. The flames shall purify me. Boil me down to my base components, and then rebuild me. From the ashes will rise a new entity.

Who am I?

Following my divorce I began an identity quest dubbed The Phoenix. It is my own personal trial by fire. Fire is the essence of life itself. As it destroys it also creates. I will create a new life from the remnants of my former, a persona not defined by another.

Chapter 1-The Quest

Depression and Suicide
“…my life before you was very chaotic and unstable. You were the stability I needed and the foundation on which I built my life.  I never doubted that you would always be there for me. You were my rock. Of all the people that had disappointed me you never let me down. Yet you did, You pulled the rug out from under me without warning and the foundation upon which I built my entire life crumbled…” –email correspondence to Lisa; Nov. 21, 2008

It took four months to undo ten years of my life. A debilitating depression overwhelmed me. I never saw anything in my life, but Lisa. What did I have left without her? What would I do? Darkness clouded my heart.

A rusty blade in my hand. A message in blood written on the broken mirror.
I lay in the tub, leaking crimson life. In my haze I barely make out the words.
What does my final message to the world say? I cannot remember why it hurt so much.
In a few minutes it won’t matter anymore. What the hell did I write?
I can only think of one thing that torments me enough to drive me to this darkness.
Trailing down in letters, clotting on the wall…
“I loved you.”

This revolving drama played on a loop in my mind. I was lost, a walking corpse. All I felt was cold hollowness.
“All that is left is emptiness, an empty house, an empty soul.”-journal excerpt; Oct. 6, 2008
I so badly just wanted the hurt to stop. In my tunnel vision existence I was oblivious to those whose hearts bled for mine. All my substance and passion was gone. Lisa took my heart with her and left nothing inside. Without her my existence seemed meaningless. The cloaked figure smiled, offering me the almost irresistible temptation of sweet release.
“Do I give in to the darkness? Let it consume me”-journal excerpt
Ultimately, though, there came a day when I awoke from the fog. I was living outside myself watching this unknown drone on a worthless trek. One phrase finally broke through the shell.
“What a waste!”
The Phoenix was born in that moment. The match was struck to light the way on the difficult road to recovery.
“The pieces of my soul are on the floor for everyone to trample on.”-journal excerpt; Oct. 6, 2008
I was in over my head. I needed help. A therapist helped at first, but the relationship quickly cheapened because I was essentially paying for a friendship. Antidepressants proved to work too well. I have a manic level of natural intensity. Lexapro ignited fireworks inside my brain. Both, however, gave me the nudge I needed to help myself. Eventually, I grew beyond the need for crutches. A previously unrecognized army of supporters each lent their kindling to the fires. One day at a time I battled my inner demons until I was ready to accept happiness again.
“You will be amazed on how much of the original Ryan is back. Why? Because I'm over my depression about change because something I feared more came to fruition.  I lost you.  I'm doing my best to survive from that, but my past fears now seems trivial and meaningless in comparison.”-email correspondence to Lisa; Sept. 8, 2009

Denial and Desperation
“Run, Run away Ryan. Open another book, turn on the TV, surf the Net. Delve into your fantasies and escape reality. It’s how you survived your childhood…”-journal excerpt; Oct. 2, 2008
The cracks in my facade were beginning to show. I shielded myself in delusions. I lied to myself to soften the full scope of Lisa’s betrayal. I more than lied. I was absolutely sure. I trusted her with my life. I trusted a lie. I was living a lie. I betrayed myself more than she ever did. The realizations came in shards, each piece punching holes in my heart.
I wallowed in self-pity and desolation.
I yearned so badly to feel some warmth, anybody’s warmth.

The New Girls
Upon Lisa’s departure I sought to quench my loneliness in the convenient woman around me. For a moment’s time, they took pity on me.
Rebound-I immediately sought solace in the arms of a good friend. She’s always shown me nothing but love and idolization. I was ashamed for disrespecting her and our friendship. I knew full well that our brief encounters were all that would ever be between us.
Crazy Chick-She was a brute of a woman, yet conversely, very maternal and comforting. She had a unique talent for forcefully ripping out my raw emotions, breaking through the masks. As she said, though, “I’m not Lisa.” Pathetically, that’s exactly what I wanted.
One Night Stand-ups-Several brief encounters fed my addiction for attention. Like a ****** with a needle, my appetite grew. Desperation was becoming my scarlet letter.
“…but it did seem that the thing we are most proud of and the thing we are most ashamed of are but the front and the back of the same coin. They torture and thrill all at once.”-Grotesque; Natsuo Kirino
I felt guilty and *****, yet loved for but an instant. These experiences were very cathartic. I had completely lost the ability to cry, feel pain, rage, or joy. They were the prefect drug, just so that I may feel again. Without these women to reopen the wounds, the numbness would have consumed me.
“Every angel has a little devil inside them.”-Manda; 2009
What attracted me to these women was mock chivalry. Each had their own “hard luck” story. So ingrained in me is the comic book ideal of heroism that I constantly seek to rescue the damsel in distress. Women will always be my kryptonite. However, as Crazy Chick put it, “ When is it time for you to be rescued?” The divine irony is, it was they who saved me.
It too, was not to last. A long period of isolation followed, as the women grew tired of babysitting me. Another lie to myself, a band-aid on a wound desperately needing stitches.

The Crush
Hers was the first light I allowed to pierce the darkness. She did more to heal me than any who said, “Yes.” Her secret, she said, “No.”
It has always been my curse to be eternally misunderstood and underestimated. I could see her scars bled the same as mine, although hers had begun to clot long ago. I am attracted to those who have a depth chiseled by adversity.
I identified with her. Her intelligence far exceeded my own, an Einstein in a circus. My eyes saw straight to her soul, seeing only the gorgeous woman she was on the inside. My friends would point out my eyes would sparkle whenever I spoke of her.
Yes, I loved her, but only in transition. We came from different worlds, but met as wounded soldiers on the battlefield. She was the catalyst to open my eyes. A sweet smile for my shredded soul.
“A worn beaten heart trapped in by bars.” From “Painless” by Tracy Reed
She held the key to my self-imposed imprisonment. My growing frustration with her opened the door for my transformation. For all her grace, all her amazing potential, she was wasting away in the same feeding trough as me.
“You can do better.”
Then it hit me…
“I can do better!”
I began to rebuild my empire. My never-queen rejected me…
I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

The Emotional Spectrum
“Stuck in a prison of abstract ideas and overpowering emotions.”-Zach; mypsace blog
Shock
1) ‘I don’t love you anymore.”
2) Letter…”I can’t wait until my divorce is over!”
3) Ryan-“So I guess this means we’re getting a divorce.”
Lisa-“Well, yeah. You knew that.”
4) “Ryan, they’re together, and have been.”
5) “I’m moving out.”
6) “By the State of Ohio, I hereby grant this dissolution.”-Judge; Dec. 30, 2008

Six bullets to my heart, six separate, devastating phrases that brought about Armageddon. I gave her a decade of my meager existence, nearly half my life. She threw me away like garbage, and couldn’t have been happier.

Fear
As the gun smoke drifted, I clutched my breast. I was frozen in horror that I’d lose myself along with her. Fear, you see, was the beginning of the end for our marriage.
I never dealt well with change. When we bought our house, the combat that ensued left me crippled. I ultimately built myself into a comfort zone again. “I don’t know what I want to do” was always an excuse for me. I lay stagnant and complacent with no true purpose or direction.
It was Lisa that first took action. She sought to elevate us from the ranks of lower middle class into which we were born. I fought her, determined to lay docked in the doldrums. “Leave me alone in my bubble.” I made attempts, but with each failure became depressed. She became frustrated and took matters into her own hands. It is obvious she loved me then. She worked effortlessly to give us a better life.
I was blind to the truth and in time Lisa lost sight of her motives. She plodded on, mechanically, no longer sure of why. She drove herself to extreme exhaustion, afraid, that if she stopped, for even a moment, she’d realize it was all for naught. She lost faith in our combined, bright vision.
So, she did the only thing she knew how. She ran away, straight to another as miserable as her. She kept running, further and further, taking greater risks. All just to not have to feel her own hollowness.
She left and my phobia ended there. What followed was a newfound fear. “I don’t know what I want to do” became “What the hell do I do?” I was afraid I was doomed to be alone the rest of my life.

Sadness
“Are you ok?”
“We’re worried about you.”
“How are you, Ryan?”…

“MISERABLE!”-Ryan

I always speak the truth. I’ve never felt so surrounded and alone in all my life.

Anger
“Like koi in a ***** pond, you can see your rage barely hiding below the surface.”-Erin Kompik
The most intense rage fueled The Phoenix. I lashed out at everything. Everyone was burned. I was ******* and the world would pay. The spectacle burned so bright it threatened to eradicate all that I was.
“I can feel bitterness and anger coming. I am fighting for control over the anger”-journal excerpt; Oct. 1, 2008
“The seams in my heart leak nothing, but hostility.”-journal excerpt; Oct. 6, 2008
“I’ve become a monster. I once loved someone so hard I would die for her. Now all I can feel is scorn and hate. My heart is twisted and black. I fear I will become the bitter man my father is. I hate myself for being so.”-journal excerpt; Sept. 30, 2008
Who was I so angry with? For all the hurt I felt from Lisa, I was most angry at myself. How could I let this happen? How could I have been so blind? My blood boiled as I berated myself. The loss I suffered left my heart festering with hatred, as nothing but fire and volatility overtook it.
“The red light of rage is violent action without consideration of consequence. It is uncontrollable. So I will unleash it.”-Final Crisis, Rage of the Red Lanterns
Then, the root of another anger broke through the fury.
“I know that you may not see it now, but time really will heal these wounds.”-Michelle Kinney
She was right. I had absolved myself of my original rage. I had forgiven her. I could forgive myself. I couldn’t be held responsible for another’s irresponsibility. The anger dissipated into the smoke. It left behind a few flickers, but I’ll not extinguish them yet. I still have a use for that rage.
“Do not be afraid to expose the darkness. Only by bringing it to the light can it ever truly be resolved.”-audio journal excerpt; Aug. 16, 2009

Love and Happiness
During my marriage, hers was the only love I let myself feel. Then, she took it with her when she left. I felt scorned and unwanted, a refuse of human waste.
I was wrong. I am a man that seeks love as an end all for my existence. Lisa unlocked my caged heart. Over the next decade I cultivated relationships with countless individuals. There was more love in my life than I ever realized. They were there when she wasn’t. My parents sacrificed everything to give me a life and family they never had. Lisa’s family had become my permanent family. She divorced me. I did not divorce them. All my friends gave all they could. Even my harsh enemies stepped off the battlefield, for they understood the casualties of this war. All of them, a shining sea of compassion, poured their hearts into mine. Their light overcame the darkness. When I finally crawled out of the pit, they got me to my feet.
“For them, I must continue.”-Naoko Takeuchi
I had to be strong. I owed it to them to survive. They gave me their love to fill in my missing pieces. For all I had been given, I could never give up or give in.
“I am meant for greatness. I am meant for happiness, for joy, for me.”-Zach; myspace blog

Chapter 2-Evolution

Picking up the Pieces
“I need to be out there.
Living.
Looking for my own life…
I need to open my mouth.
I need to be heard.
I need to live.
You’re gone…
I’m not.”
-Goth Girl Rising; Barry Lyga.
It was time to rebuild that which had been broken. My life was fragmented chaos. I needed an order to the chaos, or more to my tastes, organized chaos; anarchy with purpose. I learned to become a master strategist. The civil war I waged on myself demanded a general.
STEP 1-Stabalize finances.
My pact with the devil to keep my beloved home required emptying the coffers completely. How delicious the irony that I wound up working the same long weeks as Lisa.  Hard work and sacrifice were absolute necessities if I was ever to afford to live again. It was Lisa that taught me that. The only difference, I must never lose sight of why. Money is not the reason for existence. I simply needed enough to achieve my goals.
“Money is nothing.  It is an imaginary concept.  Its only value is what we put into it.  While often a necessary evil to survive, it is not important.  The only possession of true value is time.”- The Most Valuable Possession; 2009
STEP 2-Tear down the Mausoleum.
My home had become a testament to a dead marriage. Lisa’s five day moving notice threw a grenade into my living space. It was disheveled and disorganized. It was no longer Ryan and Lisa’s. I had to reclaim it as my own. Out of respect for our past, I kept a few pieces of Lisa as a constant reminder. I will never forget where I’ve been.
“Your spirit helped build this place and it still flows through its walls.”-email correspondence to Lisa; Nov. 21, 2008
Physically putting my environment in order likewise put my mind into an order. As I rebuilt my home, it became the new foundation for my life. The Phoenix had a place to perch.
STEP 3-Know Happiness again.
“I seem to find that my great periods of change, evolution, and growth precede an ultimate betrayal from someone I’ve let close to my heart. Is survival mode the only way I can fuel my passion? Where do I find the love that ignites my will, yet does not drive me to complacency?”-audio journal; Aug 13, 2009
The answer, I needed to love myself again. I could not rely on someone else to complete me. I had to become independent, to be ok with being alone. I deserved to be happy, to be loved, above all, by myself.
This was going to be hard.

Breaking Codependency
Not having another physical body in the house left a void. Without another heartbeat close to mine, I stopped sleeping at night. My appetite was lost and I started shedding pounds. With my depression receding, I awoke to find I was living in a desolate wasteland. What would I do in this solitary confinement?
Utilizing survival skills my mother taught me, I used it. Ever the artist, I took the pieces and created an existence. Then I improved it, again and again. Loneliness is a disease that attacks only if you let it. I had to learn to accept myself, before I could expect anyone else to. I used the loneliness to redefine and rediscover myself. I would not rely on anyone to do for me. My honor and respect for my loved ones demanded I do for myself. The stifling quiet, the sleepless nights taught independence. The silence used to frustrate and anger me. Now, I use it for peaceful reflection and meditation. Th

on that lonely tree
a koel sings koi...koi...koi...koi
starlit winter sky

Zindagi bas yuhi chalti jaarahi
Jaise ** kisi shaayar ka tassavur
Jo kabhi rokey na rukey ,
Jiske anjaam se wo ** bekhabar
Jo Zara si hawa se behek jaaye
Jismein chehre lage kuch jaane se
Magar jinke iraade ** anjaaney

Jahaan har koi hai apne hi dhun mein diwaana
Koi Kare  kisi aur ka parwaa na
Bade bade ** imaaratein jahaan
Par jinke dil ** bas itna hi wahaan

Jahaan hoti hai itni aawaaz
Ki kisi ko na ** dhadkano ka aaghaas
Har koi Uss makaam ko pohachna chaahe
Jo aasmano tak ko bhi paar kar jaaye

Yeh dil bechaara Kare bhi to kya
Kisi ke armaan adhurey rehgaye bhi tho kya
Dil ki aawaaz koi na sune bhi tho kya
Koi hame wahin chod jaaye bhi tho kya

Teri ishq bhi ajeeb hai
Maarti bhi hai
Bachaati bhi hai
Hasaati bhi hai
Rulaati bhi hai
Taqaat bhi deti hai
Kamzor bhi banaati hai
Kabhi kabhi sochta hoon
Tu haqeeqat hai
Ya mera khwabon ka koi sunehra hissa
Iss beraham duniya may
Kya sahi mainoy humara koi wajood hai
(The above language is a mixture of Urdu and Hindi.)

English Translation

Your love is strange
It kills
It also saves
It makes me laugh
It also makes me cry
It gives me strength
It also weakens me
Sometimes i wonder..
Whether you are a reality
Or just a pleasant figment of my imagination?
In this heartless world
Do we really have any existence in the actual sense?

Save the birds save your life and save the future

Save ka meaning hai sambhal kar rakhna ya fir bacha kar rakkho.
zindgi kimti hai hamari kya or parindo ki kya

Patango jab door se juda hoti hai to patango ko sambhalne koi na koi aa hi jata hai.
Insaan ladkhadae to use bhi sahare ki zarurat padti hai.
lekin ye janvar chah kar bhi kisi apne ya paraye ki madad nahi kar pata tab bhagwan ne insaan banae ke chalo ab inki dekh rekh insaan karega
Ek waqt tha jab inaan ke pass panchi aaya karte the.

Lekin ab ham inse itne dur ** *** ke inki aankho me dikhai dene laga.
Koi parinda insaan ke karib ane se katrata hai.
Aisa kyu jante **.
Kyu ki hame sirf apni tyohaar apni khushiya pyari hai.
Ham selfish ** ***.
Lekin ek baat or kahu to selfish me bhi self ka jhuta mukhota chadhaya hai hamne use utharne ki zarurat hai.
To plz self se nikalo self respect kamao.
Nk. Happy utrayan.
sai blas u all Sairam

Something so hard
goes straight to the soul;
it seems impossible to get over
and my heart is left with a big hole.

I’m trying to be happy, wearing a smile;
but I’m dying inside.
The world seems to be fading,
and I just want to run and hide.

Everywhere I go I see your face,
and realize how much I miss you;
and on the day you died
a piece of me died too.

Woh dil nawaz ha lekin nazar shanas nahi,
Mera ilaaj meray charahgar kay paas nahi,

Tarap rahay hain zabaan per kai sawal magar,
Meray liay koi shayaan-e-iltamaas nahi,

tere ujalon main bhi dil kanp kanp uthta hai
mere mizaj ko aasudagi bhi ras nahi

kabhi kabhi jo tere qurb main guzre the
ab un dinon ka tasawwur bhi mere pas nahi

guzar rahe hain ajab marhalon se dida-o-dil
sahar ki as to hai zindagi ki aas nahi

mujhay ye dar hai k teri arzu na mit jaye
bahut dinon se tabiyat meri udaas nahi,

dil chahta hai choom loo surkh labon ko tere,
bhar lu tumhe umra bhar k liye bahon me meri,
ji loo jindagi bhar tumhe apna bana kar,
bas koi aur parchayi tere siva kareeb kabhi aaye na mere,
jalta hu agar yaad me mai har ghadi,
chahta hu k ek waqt aisa aaye,
k yaaden nahi bas tu hi mujhme thahar jaye,
dekh loo tumhe ji bhar k,
aur choom loo surkh labon ko tere.....
bahut majboor ** gaya hu is judai k silsile se,
ab rasta koi aur dikhta nahi mujhko,
mai chahta hu k simat jaun tujhme,
aur so jaun hardam k liye gesuon ki chaon me tere,
kareeb aakar har pal sanjha kar loo tumse,
tum hardam k liye kareeb aa jao mere,
aur choom loo surkh labon ko tere......
ab kaise kategi jindagi ye meri,
isliye karta hu har pal intjaar tera,
bas yaad karta hu har vo lamha jo sath bitaya tere,
bechain ** jata hu kai baar,
jab sochta hu k koi aur kareeb hai tere,
ab dushman lagti hai duniya sari,
kaise jiyunga mai bin tere,
kareeb aa jao hardam k liye,
dil chahta hai choom loo surkh labon ko tere....

Shabdo ke guldaste se likhte hain yaara,
Khuda kasam aapke bin dil nahi lagta humara.

Aap is dil ki dadhkan **,
Aaj fir se pukar rhe hain sun tou lo.

Suna hai dil ke rishtey bin kahe sab sun lete,
Laga lo kaske apni jaan ko gale se.

Aaj keh rhe hain mohabbat hai beinteha tumse,
Kabhi juda na hona humse.

Aapke bina jiya jaye na,
Maana hai tumhe khuda.

Aap par kabhi koi aanch na aane denge,
Har takleef khud seh lenge.

Shayar ** tum,
Ghazal hai hum.

Diya ** tum,
Baati hain hum.

Naina ** tum,
Roshni hain hum.

Khuda ** tum,
Bhakt hain hum.

Ek pal bhi na jaana dur,
Ye dil ** jayega chur chur.

Is duniya mein har koi bs rulana jaanta,
Aapse milkar ye dil ne seekha dadhakta.

Ek aap hi ** jeene ki wajah hamari,
Aapkebin ye naadan hai adhuri.

Maaf krna agar humse kabhi koi bhul ** jaye,
Aapke khatir hum apni jaan kurbaan kar jaye.

Aye hawa pahucha de un tak mere paigaam,
Unke bin hum hai gumnaam.

Har saans par bs naam hai tumhara,
Zindagi jeene ka ek hi maksad hai hamara.

Lafzon mein baya nahi kar sakte ,
Hum aapko kitna hai chahte .

Taqdeer hamari hai khushnaseeb,
Jo aap hain is dil ke itne kareeb .

yaad kar lena mujhe
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yaad kar lena mujhe tum
yaad me aa jaunga.
Baat karni ** to kehna
Khwab me aa jaunga.
Manzilo ki duri he
Or to koi duri nahi.
Tum badhaogi kadam
To me sath me aajaunga.
Muskurati rahogi to
Me bhi muskuraunga.
Udaas jo ** kar beth ***
To me kuch nahi kar paunga.
Yaad kar lena mujhe tum
Yaad me aajaunga.
Baat jo karni ** to kehna
Me khwab me aajaunga.
Me khwab me aajaunga.
Nk —

bojh palkon k niche chupaun kitna,
tumhe bhulaun kitna tumse door jaun kitna,
tum aa gayi ** to mai samhal jaunga,
na chodkar jao mai ab na rah paunga,
tumhe mai aur chahunga tumhe mai aur chahunga...
tum hi har taraf ** mere,
nahi dikhta koi chehra,
tum choti c gudiya meri,
mai tumme simat jaunga,
tumhe pyar karunga tumhe mai aur chahunga,
na door tum jao na chodkar jao,
ab door tumse mai ek pal bhi rah na paunga,
tumhe mai aur chahunga tumhe mai aur chahunga.....
tumhi to khwab ** mere,
tumhi jine ki hasrat **,
tumh mai kho nahi sakta,
door mai rah nahi sakta,
tumhe kaise bhukaunga,
bina tumhare ji na paunga,
tumhe mai aur chahunga, tumhe mai aur chahunga...
meri tum aarjoo **,
meri har tamnna **,
chohton me tum meri **,
bandagi bhi tum meri **,
mera ehsas tum hi **,
mere jine ki khwahish **,
tumhe mai aur chahunga tumhe mai aur chahunga...
tumhi meri ibadat **,
tumhi meri rahgujar **,
meri tum rahnuma bhi **,
mere dil ki kavayad **,
mujhme tum aise bas jao,
kabhi na tumko bhulaunga,
mai tumko aur chahunga mai tumko aur chahunga....
har ehsaas dhadkan ka,
har ehsaas tadpan ka,
machalta meri dil bhi hai,
tadpta mera dil bhi hai,
kaise mai paas aa jaun,
kaise mai bahin me bhar loo,
kaise mai yaad na aaun ,
kaise mai door jaunga ,
na tere bin rh paunga,
tumhe mai aur chahunga tumhe mai aur chahunga....
i love u sh.....  plzz nvr leave me.

Am crying heena ji
Uparo meeh pe reha
uparo gaane ewe de lage hoye ne
sala sab kuch yaad ayi janda
te u nu apne kol na dekh ke
jaan nikli ja rahi

kai dina to me jaan buj ke nai c likh reha kuj
but aj control nai hoea
life pata nai ki ban ke reh *** he
ewe lagda jiwe kuch matlb hi nai he is life da
office jao, ghar aao. Ghar wali naal bi dil ni krda chal nal gal karan da
even oh bi ro lai, ki tuci menu pyar nai krde
oh is krke roi ki usnu lagda kite me chad na dawa us nu thuhade krde
usnu thuhade to bada dar lagda he
thuhade naam to bada dar lagda he

but me fas gea ha
parso sari raat roi gea me.
ghar wali us time so rahi c
menu pata oh raat kiwe langi meri

***, koi value hi nai rakhda ***
bilkul dil nai krda

sala mausam ewe da ban gea ki
rona a gea

Thuhade husband nal dekhea c u nu.
Soh lage, maran da dil kar reha c.
dil kr reha c ki gaddi mara kite le jake

fer tuci 7 phase wali market chale gaye
uthe tuci mehndi lagwai
te me uthi wait kr reha c thuhadi
sach kaha me has jarur reha c
but andro ro reha c
thuhanu dikhana nai c chanda ki
me thuhanu dekh lea he
menu nai pata ki tuci menu dekhea ya nai
but mera koi motive nai c apni shakal
dikhan da thuhanu

Le lao badle heena ji
chup reh ke jeena bada okha he
me bi dekhda ha kinni der
chup beth sakde ** tuci
kinni patients he thuhade wich
me bi dekha.

[31 October]

I've always had this guy of my dream—the guy I wish I had, and the guy I wish I'd have. And you, you are like a dream came true when you walked in. You are everything I have and could ever ask for. You make me want to love when I don't even want to look at someone twice. Maybe me have met before—maybe before this year, or before this life. Maybe my heart has always fallen for you before. Maybe that's why you're everything I could ever wish for.

I don't know if we're going to end up with each other, but I wish we will—cause my dear, you're the one I want to live my dreams with.

And if we don't, that's okay. I'll still wish for you in another life.

—l.m

afternoon's glint on the mirror-pond,
  a whirling specimen of fire,
   ocher-speckled, Sun's insignia
     vessels deep into the clammy water;

furiously swaying like a pinned down
    beast reluctant to be held—
  Makati traffic jostles the silent grieving
    of the asphalt. simultaneous burst of
      chrome on the metal bodies,
      oh, the coming and going,

  children laughing vibrantly without
    memory of scathing pasts and
      boorish origins— tossing coins
      beckoning the heaven in pursed lips
    and clenched fists tender with years
      dwindling along with the turning of
    the calendar's page, the sudden leap
      of figure lamenting the absence
         of language;

    i walk the street festooned with dried
      leaves and forlorn seasons,
    hurling no amaranth to the entire
       Makati cityscape.

Conversations of the islands,
Paper lantern illuminating,
All the glories that you are,
I wasn’t even in the mood,
Just needed to be close to you again,
Watching the rain on your glass,
And the laughter in your eyes

Chalo ! Chalo aaj kuch esa kiya jae,

Apne Sapno ko Haqeeqat se Joda jae,

Ye dono 1 dusre se bilkul alag hai,

par dono hi apni kabiliyat ke liye mashoor hai,

Sapne, Sapne to Aasman hai, Jinki koi seema hi nahi,

Par Haqeeeqat to Aag se Bhare angaare hai, Jin par chal pana itna aasan nahi.

Sapne to woh raah hai, Jo hume kuch karne k liye prerit karti hai,

par haqeeqat, haqeeqat to un sapno ko bhi tod deti hai.

To kya ab haqeeqat ko dekhkr, sapne dekhna chod de,

ya apni khwaisho ke rukh ko hi mod le,

Agar Nahi, To fir chalo haqeeqat ko swikarte hai,

Apne sapno ko haqeeqat banane me jutt jate hai,

Mehnat kar apni kabiliyat ke rang sajate hai,

Apne sapno ko apni Manjil tak lekar jate hai,

Apne khwabo ke pankho ko or feltate hai,

Thoda Haste hai, Thoda hasate hai,

Chalo na !!!

Apni zindagi ko thoda or kamyab banate hai !!!!..

Written By :
SHIVAM PORWAL

Jis phul ne koi galati hi nahi ki, Use kis baat ki saza diya ja rha hai,
Es duniya me aane se pahle hi kyu use maar diya ja rha hai,

Ai Khuda kyu aise janwar ko tune banaya,
Ek chhoti kali ko pet me hi maar khud ko insaan btaya,

Na maaro us phul ko jisme us bhagwan ka hai waas,
Ek din aisa aayega jab ** jayega puri shristi ka naas

Arey nasamjh insaan sirf bete ki hi aas lagaoge,
To phir maa, behan aur dulhan kahan se paoge,

Mata-Pita ki galati ki saza us chhoti kali ko diya jata hai,
Ek chhote se andhere ghar me hi use maar diya jata hai,

Wo kali bhi baar baar unlogo se karti pukar,
Hey Maa-Baba mujhe pet me hi mat maar,

Ye duniya ek baar mujhe bhi dikha de,
Apne amrit ki ek ghunt mujhe bhi pila de,


Nanhi si jaan tou hai bekasoor,
Maar kar hi aakhir kyu milta hai pathar dilon ko suroor,

Wo bhi dekhna chahti hai duniya,
Janam lene se pehle hi Jaan gawani padti hai oo gudiya,

Apne hi hathon ukhed dete hai apne hi aangan ka phool,
Kaisa hai ye bereham logon ka usool,

Kismat wale hote hai wo insaan,
Jinki kokh mein dete hain betiyan bhagwaan,

Beti hai ishwar ka hai en anmol uphaar,
Jeene ka us nanhi jaan ko bhi hai adhikaar,

Sharam aati hai logo ki is ghatiya soch par,
Taras aata hai unpar
Jo apne hi ansh ka dete hain maar
Devi ka karte hain jo tiraskaar,

Banao ek naya usool
Beti ko karo qubool

Jeevan ka hai ye adhaar
Banta hai inhi se sansaar,

Likh us phul ka dard hamari aankhen bhar aai,
Teri banai duniya me O mera khuda ye teri kaisi khudai..
Ye teri kaisi khudai...


Collaboration by Manish Shrivastava and Sonia Paruthi

Bachpan ka samay kabhi na lautkar aata ,
Har waqt bus yaadon ka aasma reh jaata ,

Khelte the hum bhi khub dhul ko udel ko,
Maaf kr diye jate hamare sabhi galtiya aur bhul ko,

Jab chaha has lete they ,
Aur jab chaha ro dete they ,

Chhote chhote aankhon me sapne bade hote the,
Na kisi se bair,sare log apne hote the,

Par ab tou aansuo ko chahiye tanhayi ,
Chehre par sirf jhoothi muskaan hai chhayi ,

Zindagi ki tapish mein kab bachpan guzar gaya ,
Kab bachhe se bade ** gye zindagi ki daur mein nazar hi nahi aaya ,


Kya din they chalate they baarish mein nao 
Ab khud ko chupane ke liye sochtey hain kha jao,
 
Na kuch paane ki aasha thi or na kuch khone ka drrrr,
Mast rehte they jaha apni hi dhun idhar udhar,

Koi lauta de bachpan ka sawan
Fir se mehak jayega mere dil ka aangan ,


Khelte they khilone se aaj khud khilona ban gaye ,
Bachpan ke sunhere pal na jaane kha kho gaye,

Maa se lipatne ke  bahane bnate,
Maa ke aanchal ke chav me hi so jate,

Chhote se kadam se saitaniya bde karte the,
Papa Ki pyari daat pr bhi ro dete the,

Jab bhi rota mai,Maa apne sine se laga leti thi,
Sahlake haath sar pr mere muskura deti thi,

Maa ka dudh jaise amrit ka pyala tha,
Sach me hamara bachpan bahut hi nirala tha,

Amrit ka Ek ghut pi kar bhi khush ** jate the,
Duniya ka sabse bda sukh maa ke aanchal me hi pate the,

Yaad hai hume wo khubsurat bachpan ke pal,
Muskura dete hum jab bhi yaad aate wo sunhare bite kal........

4th collab. Poem composed by
Sonia Paruthi & Manish Shrivastva