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Hey you, I don't appreciate what you put me through. I need to do me, not listen to others who diss me eternally. I'm a find a way, so what I had a bad day. You saw me at my worse, I've always been put to work. I'm a be in flight, because my landing is to avoid a fight. Clear my back there is a bunch of stab wounds from a knife. Dark Nel, hitting up my vulnerability from hell. Are you even strong enough to handle my best. Or will that put you to rest. I'll be at your wake to pay a respect. Then burry you, laugh when I pull through. Why you so evil, I am all real. Leader, cheater, bleeder, beater, succeeder, but that's a while ago. Now bout to light up and hit up the other olace so I'm a go. Goodbye, I'm a live a better life.
Eyes half open, weak but I've got little strength left. Not about to do another cause to regret. I'm still hoping, I'm a give it my all. Hopefully I can open that door. Close it, lock it. Not look back because I'm throwing the key. I know the past will catch up to me. But I'm a have a head start. Rebuilding my heart. Got lost a while ago. Ready to shine a glow. Going down swinging. My all is something I'm bringing. **** a drink, **** a pill. I'm pure and real. Marshall taught me what to do, NF gave me a idea to pull through. My journal is life, ready to make **** right.
Oh
Exhausted
Wide awake
Hesitant
Confident
Ready
Distant
Confused
Don't ghost me because I'm the one haunting
Now taunting
What a waste
But I learned how to keep pace
Built myself up hopefully will get my own place
I'm the definition of a nightmare
Ask anyone hence the reason no one will care
Not a soul stayed there
I'm a beast do to independents
How many people can really be real with me
What's reality
Oh wait let me give you a book about it
It'll be my subliminal hit
Not about to quit
Maybe just lose myself
Like Marshall I'm a work on mental health
I'm not try so hard
Because I know I'm not going to go far
You'll find my truck full of cans
Full of bottles
Full of harsh pills I swallowed
I wasted it all then made me swallow
Look at these empty bottles
Blacked out speeding
Pillshot with me feeding
Razore blades has me bleeding
I'm floating in chub lake
You too late
I already did break
Any stories like this can relate?
I was long gone before i knew it
**** to much
Now you'll never see my one motive because I've already drowned
literally
Now leaving spiritually
Not rightfully
I was vulnerable with no help
Whats new, now I've got zero health
I pilled that trigger and forgot
Eyes bloodshot
Weakness made me drop
This is my pillshot
I woke up with som xanax. Realized I've got some more to text. What's next? I don't know, I'm already anxious asf time to go. Make my feels glow. Rightfully no. I just want to end it, this isn't healthy. What do you mean y'all care about me. I hate me. Zoloft, benzodiazepines, melatonin, SSRI's got me begging for a stronger dose what a surprise. Give me my bottle, bout to make me sleep see you tomorrow. I can't blame anyone else but myself. Struggling to stop but at the same time it's not helping. But atleast it's something. Hush Nellie stop talking. Swallow a depressant and stay silent. Nobody has to know. What can they even do? If they knew? What they're gonna hold you? Yeah right, no ones stuck around to watch you stick up and fight. You're close to losing life. Pill the trigger and commit to the pillshot.
Part three.....
Started off small, worked my way up. Was sick and tired of false love. Got some antidepressants just to chill. Needed a relief so I swallowed another pill. Mentally not okay, but physically fine. Washed my so called sins with the holly wine.  Gave up and put stronger alcohol in to my system. So much for wisdom. Pillshot with my eyes bloodshot. I can get use to this. If this feeling went away it'd be something i miss. All this addictions in high hope to stay alive. How ironic if I stopped i may say goodbye.
Part one....
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