(Take a step back)

Holding your bleeding heart in my hand stretched out in front of the both of us.
(You feel like you're suffocating but I promise I got you)

(Look me in the eyes)

Let me tell you. Every beat that's in my hand is your purpose. (Breath you got this)

(Dont look down there's nothing for you there)

Hear your heart crying because she loves so deeply. Jaded by the circumstances of things of the past.

(Shhh you have to listen)

She's telling you a story of where it began. She's telling you she doesn't want to hold onto it any longer. She's telling you that its crowded in there. She's telling you she wants to break free. She's telling you that she knows it hurts, she knows it's painful but this is worse. She's telling you that you're strong enough to get through. She's telling you begging you just need to listen.
She's telling you she doesn't want to just survive anymore she wants to live. Live free of this hurt that no longer matters, no longer plays a part in anything. She's telling you she finally knows beautiful because she's met ugly. She's telling you that she cant be perfect but she'll be **** near. She's telling you just to listen to her when you can.

(Look at her because she'll show you)

She screams look at me, look at me please look at me.
(Don't turn your head you have to look). I know I may look ugly but I promise it's a coat. It's a shield of armor to keep out the darkness. I swear there's light in here I promise. (Breath you got this). Why can't you look at me? Who told you that you weren't worthy? Who made you believe you were nothing? Please just look at me. Tears roll down your face, I know I sent them. That's the only way you'll feel me. Please just look at me. I'm not ugly I promise. You get glimpses of what I can show you. Keep it with you until you're ready.

(Times running out)

Jaded heart just wants to be free but she has to go back like a caged bird. Jaded heart wants to be loved, not convenient or comfort love. Jaded heart wants you to see her, wants you to love her, wants you to tell her she's beautiful despite the years of beatings. Jaded heart is as beautiful as she was when she first started. She loves so deeply and so passionately.

(Take her back)

And nurture her. Cultivate all the good inside of her. Break every wall that's binding her. She's not ugly she's beautiful. Keep her with you always.


(Breath, I know you feel like you're suffocating but I promise I got you)

You're my muse and what better muse to have other than you. When my eyes fill with tears and my heart is cloudy and dark is when I'm most inspired. Inspired to write, inspired to speak, inspired to see something different in me. This was your thing not mine,this was your gift not mine, amazingly you're still able to take me places i never knew i could. You're my muse and what better muse to have other than you. How do you elevate me? How do you calm me? How do you give me the words? The words that come from you spoken by me. I know it's something Devine, I know it's something only you can do. I clung to every word that came out of your mouth and now I'm blessed to be used by you. You're my muse and what better muse to have other than you.

What do you do when you were already afraid to love? What do you do when lines are crossed? What do you do when it sounds like you've been here before? What do you do when you accept the reactions of your actions? What happens if things will never be the same? Is it possible to go back? Is it possible to move forward? Is it just your fault or his demons feeding off of the both of you? You walk in pain because it hurts physically and emotionally. I think this will be the thing that does you in. I think this will be the thing that puts you back away. How can she understand when you don't? What do you do when your back is against the wall? What do you do when you allow things to come into your space that don't belong? If it's okay this time what about next time? Ugh we'll just have to see.

My spirit is wandering asking questions that dont seem to be as important before. Maybe I went too far from home, I was on the right track and lost my way. I need to get back home. I need to reconnect. I'm starting to see it from every angle I'm lost and wandering. I'm not supposed to feel like this, I'm supposed to be centered and solid. Where did I go wrong in such a beautiful journey? Maybe it was when you left me to my own devices. Not able to pull me up from the rights and the wrongs. As much as I can act like you're to blame it's my spirit not yours. You show me and guide me but I'm blind to it all. I need to get back home I'm lost and I'm wandering. I'm open but maybe not I'm afraid of what might be. Theories is all I have but where have they gotten me. I was so close to the source and now I've lost it. I started to believe I was broken and damaged, but how can that be with a heart so pure? It's true you speak things into existence and I've spoken my demise. So hurt by residual pain that doesn't belong. I know I'm stronger than whatever life has to throw me because I've survived, but why do I feel so broken? The devil has my mind while God has my spirit and is telling me to come back home. All is forgiven so why cant i forgive myself. Lost and confused but its clear as the brightest day. I can't feel the feet that has grounded me for so long. I walk in a trace and it shows. I'm lost and I'm wandering to find my home.

I'm in search of... what am I really in search of? What "truth" do I really need to know? What difference does it really make? I'm in search of... my own said heaven... away from this hell... ha what hell look around you try again. I'm in search of... this knowledge that can lead me to God... or back to me the better me the inner me. I'm in search of... my truth even if it doesn't compare to yours. I'm in search of the answers to unlock the universe that I could have in the palm of my hand. I'm in search of the only thing that seems right in a world so wrong. To be in search of something that I feel in my heart to be mine to feel like there's no going back. There's a foundation that was laid but it's not the way. I'm in search of...

Have you ever had your heart ripped out and smashed to a million pieces only to find yourself trying to carefully piece it back together? You feel like your dying so now time is moving your back is against the wall you have to hurry walla all done. Well its a little lopsided and jaded but it'll have to do. Have you ever had a piece of your soul taken and weight just come off of you feel like you were melting? You look in the mirror and say **** I look good but the gears shift and you remember that it came at a cost when a piece of your soul died. Speaking of mirrors have you ever looked so deep at yourself but your vision was cloudy? Clouded by fear, by self-hate, self-mutilation, self-disgust. The darkness that you sit in where you think this is life. All the while when you walk, you walk with this light that people see. So although you think you live in darkness continue to walk in this light until it's bright enough for you to see.

She's your guiding light use her but don't abuse her. She's yours for a reason only you can see it. She combined two souls that were meant to be together. Nothing is a coincidence. Use her light to fill your darkness until you can see for yourself. Things are getting brighter I know you see it, i know you feel it. Stay off the path of complacency you don't belong there. She is me and I am her take her hand and she'll show you. Dig deeper and deeper don't be afraid, don't be afraid of the unknown because there's light there I promise. Everything is for you she'll show you. You think you're teaching her but in reality she's teaching you. She's teaching you how to live. You think you live for her but in reality you live for yourself. I know it's scary because you've never felt it. I know you want to give up but she won't let you she's your guiding light use her but don't abuse her. When things become clear you'll see. It's hard to tell you but I'll show you. I know you see just trust me. She's your guiding light use her but don't abuse her.