"expectance" poems
Gentlemen of Courage and Ladies of Excellence,
Toast to stolen prayers with rarer player’s hands;
Soft in defiant laughter,
when drinking their wine from the bowels of brines
Sing along the Ballads of Heritage with Melodies of Exception;
Boast, not a breathe,
though sullen heirs ghost to fairer wearer’s air(s) of land—
A settlement of Rapture and Resurrection, arid, amid dirt and sand
and King and thy Kingdom sprout flowering tomb, and rosebud temple reach to the sky during the showers of spring
Devours the crescent Moon
in big pink petals of bloom;
A garden so fertile
it could look pretty in wartime—
with Gardeners of Courage and Laborers of Excellence;
(Lapse, not into digressions of Being and Essence
but hands in the soil and planting the actions of kingdom come,
patient building of Spring Reign sure
as the flame, the architect of rising Sun is
(Daughters and Sons of kingdom came,
the soldier in a land been conquered and named; abandoned
for the greenness of hope.
)May it never come, Be All The Same; (
be gentle, though whispering wind)
Seeds of Nextyear and the spores of Awhile,
carried by the Wasps and the Clouds
To the Gentlemen of Excellence and Ladies of Courage,
illuminated, eyes from the flora of stars faraway forest floor of foreign
fears,
as the hungry Owls of Time prepare a final feast—
Consume the years between Here and Now;
Watching from blank perch, among
the Trees of Afterall; a place beyond expectance.
Sing the branches of experience, to wake
in Siren’s cipher; inelegant forms
of waking,
ugly sleep on rocks of seabed; once was aboard a marooned skyline—
Those Who Are Will Be
again, again a serf in a wave of Time’s refraction. Neverending neverbeginning;
Those Gentlemen of Courage and Ladies of Excellence,
on the Day That Is, arrays of seers sayers doers displayers
optimists and pessimists, toast to them
and their rarer player’s hands,
Boast they, not a breathe, though sullen heirs ghost
to fairer wearer’s air and land;
Laugh and howl and dine, they drink their wine
from disemboweled gourds
of their own divine—
Warped, in jowls of hungry fix,
no feast they fear, for they prey to the Owls of Time.
Apr 30, 2018
Apr 30, 2018 at 5:28 PM UTC
Fake
A world prewritten
She planned on being unscripted
Her world is now unpredicted
She still knows someone else is in control
Depicted
Still a hope of making her own decisions
Yet there is nothing told
Destination unfolds
Still not powerless
She radiates greatness in a self-consciousness way
Expectance is decayed
Now only false hope and a piece of paper save the day
Feb 3, 2018
Feb 3, 2018 at 6:06 PM UTC
~
*there is a subtle beauty in madness.
an eery wonder within sadness.
like the musicians of the titanic
their final lullabies
dancing through the air
amid the screams and the panic
a moment of beauty
an expectance of fate
a beautiful surrender
as they perished beneath the waves*
~
Mar 24, 2021
Mar 24, 2021 at 3:26 PM UTC
A broken mirror of my reflection
A shriek of pain from repeating rejection
A complex scheme
To learn a lesson
****** palms as I play psalms
Picking up the pieces of a life at risk
Started out with pricked fingers
Now I'm avoiding a ****** wrist
A deteriorating gas is pressing to exit my mind
It eats away at every sane thought left inside
Where do I go when it's my true self that I have to hide
Everything I say is a constant mistake
So I grit my teeth till they ache and I mumble words until they marinate
Working on self love but the moments like these that are within myself are the ones that I hate
I search for repression but where do I begin
When this is all I know
When there's always the question of an end
Save me from myself because Lord knows I've sinned
I'd take it all back if I could run it again
I hope he doesn't lose faith in me
He's my only friend
It seems like ever since this has began I've been blessed with a beautiful curse
I ask God for the best but I still expected the worst
Maybe this is what happens
When everything is diverse
See it in my eyes
See the rift in my soul
See the angry love
Burning a hole
See the ache for expectance
Taking a toll
Skins red but it's feels cold
For the content that makes up me
It grits down like sand
All I ever wanted
Was a loving hand
They tell me I'll be okay
But I don't think they understand
For this is not a human quality
I am merely man
I am left to supply
When commitment was my only demand
Two judges and one man
Will I be enough when I take the stand
(r.n.)
Jul 8, 2015
Jul 8, 2015 at 11:39 PM UTC
Longing to express it
Not to suffer and suppress it
But you tell me I can't
you tell me it's easier
You tell me it helps
I tell you it kills me.
Regreting my expectance
Receiving no acceptance
And you tell me I can't
you can't stand to hear it
I can't hold it in
I can't turn off my emotion
Decaying so painfully slow
Dead and so horribly alone
You tell me I can't
You say you need a break
That's it's better if you do
And I can't stay awake
Already lost in my asleep
Burried so far in the deep
And you tell me I can't
makes everything worse
Tearing me apart
How do u think this helps!
Maybe it will benefit you
You think it will benefit me too
You tell me I can't tho!
And I'm lost in this storm
Of endless torture
Forever so numb
In the end when you come back
I'll be the same and not on track
Because you tell me I cant..
I've held it in for so long
It's killed me so slowly
Nothing but dust
May 24, 2016
May 24, 2016 at 11:31 AM UTC
"What a ****
You're a waste of space
Selfish brat
No one will ever like you
Ugly ******
Words escalated after I said
"I'm a bit cold"
in 30 degree weather
Wearing a thin long sleeve..
Words from my own mother
I would like for her to repeat those phrases after she's
seen me throwing up every "snack" I've eaten in 3 days
Have her watch me cry and shake in the bathtub while slitting my wrists because a blade hurts way less than her words
Have her watch me spend hours looking at thinspo and
"how to be perfect" websites for self expectance because she's torn me down too far
I want her to watch me talk to the people at school because she sees me as the hammer I smash my ribs against with; but truly, I am gentle
I am petrified to raise my hand in class because I am so scared to mess myself up... Mommy said it was wrong to mistake.
I will cry in a bathroom stall for hours if a girl DARE tell me she thinks she doesn't look good enough for the world today because that's how I feel with reminders every hour
But,
Maybe I am selfish
Selfish to keep myself away from human engagements for so long
But mommy says it's for the better
Better if I stay away
The words I've learned to trust so much
It's the words that stab me over and over
Those words are the reason I cannot accept a compliment or state my thoughts aloud
Feeling far worse than suicide.
Self harming
Burning
Carving
Words hurt more
Her words hurt most
And now mommy might know
Why there is a tear stained note waiting for her in her bedroom tonight
And she might feel just a bit of pain
As I did everyday
Goodbye mom, I thought I loved you.
Dec 9, 2015
Dec 9, 2015 at 12:52 AM UTC
Time starts clocking by,
Like an infinite life promised,
Slowly loosing grip on its reality.
I've counted down the days,
Some go faster then others.
I'll live for expectance,
To expect fate, or my destiny.
As it wipes away my tears,
Nothing will remain.
Is this all still natural,
Or have I gone insane?
Nov 13, 2014
Nov 13, 2014 at 12:59 PM UTC
From the Swirl comes the Structure,
In the Structure feeds the Flow
and the Flow maintains the Focus.
So we can deduce
much like the pattern of life,
it begins as Freedom,
like colorful movement
exempt from rule.
While the other extreme,
the skill obtained of Focus & Form,
akin to miraculous mystery
wise sensuality
from royalty born.
Can you see the Procession
in difference yet alike?
Infancy is always Free
from Wisdom comes Sight
the Master of Vision
Magical Majesty
~Immaculate Precision.
~A Rainbow in the Light.
*Deep unto the dreamy wood
Walk We, one Faerie to ‘nother
Swift~ Shift
Slighted plea
what cares of Noumenic Clemency
divide amongst they~
who do not know or care to see
forever to possess perverse tales
to talk away the mystery.
Swift ~ Shift
acrimonious possession
Sudden urgency
Cares Not~
Divide amongst Noumenic Novelty.
Coming birth of Elementals
entrancing ingenuity
foreseen such heavenly conception.
Ironic irreverence of Elements
pure Majesty
Still in Expectance of
blessed Faerie’s redemption
They ~ who do not care
will never know and ought never see.*
This is about Strife.
The way one Group tends always to find flaw with another Group, finding all the differences to hate, ignoring any similarities to love.
Oct 21, 2014
Oct 21, 2014 at 12:26 AM UTC
take these
automatic habits you implanted
in the back of my hands
that inflict dents in my relationships
whenever my muscles twitch
out of happiness
my fists clinch
in expectance of negative
Feb 7, 2010
Feb 7, 2010 at 6:48 PM UTC
Rattle the orchard’s knotted limbs
and harvest from the fray,
forsaken garnets snared in doubt,
betrothed to blind decay.
Tune your soul to the air of expectance
that wavers in the grass…
of smoke sewn into ripened groves
as hours straddle past.
The whip of wings atop the hollow
trumpets the waning year…
a song unwritten, once laid by,
reborn and shuttled near.
The Lord entwines His hand with ours
fastened to our lives
and plucks us each, while bruised and marred
as a lone protected prize.
A thousand candles pierce the shutters
tethering our stride.
The Spirit sounds a lifelong score
that tugs us to His side.
Jan 15, 2013
Jan 15, 2013 at 7:17 PM UTC
We use punctuation for:
Expectance.
Living can be,
Paused.
Cannot be;
Restarted.
Punctuation is intended to empower
(Superiority in writing).
Life is pointless without meaning -
It needs details.
Things can be said
"I love you".
Questions can be asked
Is that a lie?
Living can be contemplated
Life is *
* Good
Life can be created
@ my house @ 4.
Or you can be trapped
[you].
Jun 26, 2018
Jun 26, 2018 at 5:53 PM UTC
Through a golden crack in the universe
Love rains a single drop
It blazes through earths atmosphere
Radiant and pure
Wading through the mundane
i pause a moment
An unseen force holds me still
Wow
What an odd but overwhelming feeling
A comforting spirit seems to fill me
Hmm
I start to trudge on
A drip on the top of my head
Puzzled
Its not raining
I continue on
My step suprisingly light
I feel great
I smile and walk
Wow
I never noticed the smell of the trees before
Feathers sing
Rays dance with puddles
A boy helps an old lady across the street
I smile
Thank you young man
She says
He smiles and catches up to
his friends and books
In someones yard a wagging tale plays with a purr
My shoes seem to float
My heart seems to blaze with hopeful expectance
Just up ahead a beautiful young woman drops her hair clip
Her gold hair clip
Excuse me you...
dropped...
this
I could barely speak she was so beautiful
Thanks
She said
And when she smiled
the world turned gold
Aug 1, 2015
Aug 1, 2015 at 7:39 PM UTC
This reality is just a dream
in which one can change and reshape
the way they percieve
anytime they should choose
I've come to realize this
The error of my ways
I cant say sorry anymore
I can only hope you wait
for me
while I work on this
You bring this out of me
the thoughts that could change
everything
unfortunately we share the growing
pains
My dream is to find happiness
first on my own
and then with you
I cant rely on you for this
I should've never looked to you
in the first place for self fufillment
a childish outlook and expectance
I will not ask for forgiveness
Just stick around
and we'll get through this
I regret pushing you away...
I mustn't make the same mistakes
Nov 21, 2012
Nov 21, 2012 at 10:06 PM UTC
sleep curved miles of patched dead boys into me like a scythe.
their quilts were not mine to sweat through,
to drench nightly with my self.
but i cried out anyway.
said i needed stained warmth more than coffins ever could.
bare as they were.
prodigal as they were.
i turn aside in bed. i sweat it out.
sleep handed me its crowded city plots and boxes of
one-way ticket disownment boiled down
to an art exhibit of photographed bodies.
black and white bodies. end of life bodies.
i tore them into manageable halves.
their varied human pieces quilted themselves together onto the floor.
their eyes floated to land at my shoes.
i stared.
yet it was sleep who drew in
the fluttering array of lost bandanas dyed with every coy color
present on the rare days here
that always smelled more like mornings,
the colors peeking like barefoot children just around the corners of their smirking, drowsy city avenues after rain.
sleep dreamt me an after hours carousel.
the revelry of skintight garbage bags
brimming over with ****** boys.
lovely boys.
boys with a gleam.
faceless baby boys with sores like eyes,
full of their junk they
treasured, fondled, kissed
the little pound of flesh that was theirs,
they gave freely, bait and tackle
to swallow whole.
dust bowl dumpling soft.
pulsing expectance.
those skins underneath you’d discover pressed to an eternity of sorts
between two slurs of the same brick,
that its nightless club grime
mumbled disco sickly to me & him.
and i’d be on my knees.
by a bed, a river, a quilt, a pew, an avenue, a grave.
whatever useless dreams may come,
i always find myself there.
already knelt in every way i couldn’t possibly comprehend.
gravely, maybe beautifully-
beside another slumbering boy
too distant from life not to reach for.
Dec 9, 2019
Dec 9, 2019 at 12:42 AM UTC
I'm so busy settling
That I missed the chance
To explore
This land I've been told of
Something called freedom to love
Everyone hopped on the boat
Eager to make their way
Away from settling ways
I couldn't help but wonder why I was settling..
Breaking ground for a man
Who wouldn't even plant the seed
My body lay dormant
As he proceeds
To settle on top of mine
I was settling again..
Why am I settling?
I asked him if I could make way
To extended parts of this ground
I had broke, solely myself
He said no
Continue to work as you have been
We're not finished
But where was the he in we?
It's all been me..
I settled again today
The news of expectance has been given to me
But not us
He said it is neither the time nor the place
Get rid of it
I settled for his theory..
Maybe he was right
So I settled to give up motherhood
I settled today
I was lain comfortably in this satin lined coffin
I Settled comfortably in the ground
I settled in this darkness
Because even after life
Death is matter of settling
Apr 30, 2015
Apr 30, 2015 at 1:04 PM UTC
is what inspired this poem
...
wind
outer space
forward
backwards
strings
haunting sounds
expectance
waiting
...
and growing
and lifting
and SINGING
AND LIFTING
AND BREAKING
FALLING
DRIFTING
AND SWELLS
...
AND SWELLS
SWELLS
GROWING
BIGGER BRIGHTER LIGHTER
doesn't stop
swells
breaks
grows
stops
starts
turns
then
her voice
SWELLS
and
...inspires
Mar 28, 2013
Mar 28, 2013 at 4:45 AM UTC
From the Swirl comes the Structure,
In the Structure feeds the Flow and the Flow maintains the Focus.
So we can deduce, much like the pattern of life, it begins as Freedom, like colorful movement exempt from rule, while the other extreme, the skill obtained of Focus & Form, akin to miraculous mystery, wise sensuality, from royalty born.
Can you see the Procession, in difference yet alike?
Infancy is always Free,
from Wisdom comes Sight,
the Master of Vision,
Magical Majesty,
~Immaculate Precision.
~A Rainbow in the Light.
Deep unto the dreamy wood, Walk We, one Faire to ‘nother
Swift~ Shift , Slighted plea, what cares of Gnomonic Clemency
~ divide amongst they~ who do not know or see
~ forever possess perverse tales to talk away the mystery
Swift ~ Shift, Acrimonious Possession, Sudden urgency
Cares Not~ Divide amongst Gnomonic Novelty ~
Coming birth of Elementals
entrancing ingenuity foreseen such heavenly conception
Ironic irreverence of Elements pure Majesty
Still in Expectance of blessed Faire’s redemption
They ~ who do not care will never know and ought never see.
This is about Strife.
The way one Group must always find flaw with another Group, finding all the differences to hate, ignoring any similarities to love.
Apr 5, 2014
Apr 5, 2014 at 10:41 AM UTC
do we conceive
each other
in such
different ambiance?
like how eyes aim
to see souls instead of faces,
bodies and flesh
how different our concepts
of beauty would be
detaching away
from the standards
and norms of society
such appearances are neglected
interiors over exteriors
if only we see thru things
beyond nakedness
bound from expectance
when one
does not feel a stranger
of her own skin
— g.c.
"- then i learned that society is broken, not me."
Feb 27, 2021
Feb 27, 2021 at 1:09 AM UTC
Gilded strand on the silent shore
Without a wave to break upon it
The sea rests calm, my heart at war
In wait of the tides to consume love writ
Waters rest though and my love will stay
My love will decay on this fading strand
Before you wash away the words I say
I'll have written again with my weary hand
Even as the sun descends fast on your blue
And the moonrisen glow my night softly lit
I'll shed my feelings to the sand anew
In case your waves break at dawn to it
And once you find my love that lay here in sand
My only expectance is for you to understand
Dec 2, 2013
Dec 2, 2013 at 12:03 AM UTC
A uniformity in expectance,
A subconscious wait.
My mind knows it's coming
Like some kind of date.
Her words,
Be they good or bad,
Are expected,
If only a tad.
2 AM,
My body wakes
It's so ******* late
Will it come?
I wait.
May 23, 2014
May 23, 2014 at 12:13 AM UTC
I wonder... Have you
aged enough, upon grief,
came to love this matching heart?
Jul 20, 2014
Jul 20, 2014 at 4:00 PM UTC
Another day, to live and to give without expectance.
Another day, to bask in the Love of unconditional Love.
Another day, to encourage and inspire others to greater Heights.
Another day, to walk in the Land of the Living here on earth.
Another day, to follow the Christ and to stay obedient to him.
Another day, to repent to forgive others and to be forgiven.
Another day, to live in complete Joy, Hope, Peace, and Love.
Another day, to walk in your faith to trust Christ fully here.
To lay down your self to Christ as well help out others.
May 16, 2015
May 16, 2015 at 8:31 AM UTC
Form, Words and Punctuation
I've learned to let go of haphazards,
Be as you are, the mantra I sing out.
It's taken years of half beliefs,
but giving a **** finally won out.
I've learned valuable things
Though I won't apologize for existing
But, I express gratitude for those who look through my weakness.
To see truth is just a fabled thought, no actual tangible thing,
Elusive as me, definition undefined
Truth changes with the tide.
I went through waves of who I was to get to who I am.
Will I suffice to succeed? we won't find out, not even in the end,
it's one of those immeasurable things.
Explanations go unheard, I don't desire to know what you've learned;
you are who you are,
I meet that with expectance and unconditional love.
Aug 23, 2016
Aug 23, 2016 at 1:42 PM UTC
Though it's dark outside, the Light from you flood out the darkness.
I shall fear no evil, for you have already overcome the false gods of evil.
You have guided us throughout our Journey protecting us along the way.
I am but a mortal man O Saving God, whom you have blessed here.
As well as others here you have blessed, through the truth of your words.
Which you have spoken into my heart to write these poems of ours God.
I am but a blessed servant that you have wrote these poems using me.
As the vessel that gets credit for writing them, with your help O God.
To bless others that you Love unconditionally without any expectance.
For you love everyone equally without them doing anything at all.
It would be great though for the whole world to come to your throne room.
Repenting of sin is all that you expect in order of becoming born again.
And your Spirit would help them all to become a new Creation.
Aug 5, 2015
Aug 5, 2015 at 7:46 PM UTC
You expect for everything to work your way
But in no way,do you accept to work for anything
AvA
Jun 23, 2018
Jun 23, 2018 at 12:55 AM UTC