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Jane Bell Nov 2018
My heart is racing
Was what I just said okay?
Are you okay?
A moment that would never end.
I’m just a concerned person
To you I tried to hug you to
To me I was blocking you from the rain on our smoke break
I’m sorry it was my idea to come to this place
And you hunny studs couldn’t talk to me much
Because I was always looking at something else to do
Every glance away from you I had
I’m scared and you don’t understand why
But I understand why not so when you said “I’m going home”
Just because you didn’t want to deal with me as the worst of plenty before
I was concerned you don’t like me
Even as a human being..
Convinced you don’t
So before we parted in the dawn before a new day,
a rootbeer lollipop in hand you said goodnight and I said goodbye . -Walmart employee
It’s not your fault, im just so over my social anxiety.
Jane Bell Jul 2018
You keep saying I love you!
And I can’t stand it
Not because your laugh rings in my ears
Or because your positivity spreads through me
But because it’s been over a year since I’ve seen you last and all you can say is I love you!
I love you too but mom I’m hurt.
I’m so lost.
You told me we’re all lost but I would never let someone else feel that way.
I’m dissapointed you couldn’t even read the letters I sent you.
Mom I don’t know if I love you anymore. I miss you but I don’t think this is the you I know. Maybe it never was.
Mom you called me today asking where the **** was while my day at work made me feel like quitting.
But you don’t know that. The same way you don’t know how hurt you’ve made me.
But I won’t show that. I love you!
I don’t need her.
Jane Bell May 2018
I’ve never once
Looked for a guy who was charming
Frustrating and
All at the same time
But you
Came in to my life and showed me how to
Find what you have
Which is charm that has made me obsessed
Frustrating words that make me think
About death
And complicated ways of showing effection
Yet I feel like I’m winning a game.
You smirk with confidence and I love it
You look at me like I’m youre next meal and I feel lucky to be your victim
Eat me up and take me to paradise
Where even there
I know it won’t be perfect but maybe we can
Get a few drinks and talk about getting together again sometime
I fell in love with your frustrating words, charming smirks and complicated emotions.
Even though you told me not to
  Mar 2018 Jane Bell
Bharti Singh
Artists are like crystals
Must be handled with care
One slip
You loose it all there
On the brighter side
Even if they shatter
They still glint
Whatever be the matter
Crystal cleaving
May scatter the lusture
But the process
Can never douse the dazzle
  Mar 2018 Jane Bell
I don't care if you
Throw sticks
Or stones
Or grenades.
You won't hurt me,
I'll pick myself up.

I don't care if you
Call me stupid
Or ugly
Or a failure, a disappointment.  
You won't hurt me,
I'll shut it all out.

I don't care if you
**** a frog
Or rob the bank
Or starve for days.
I won't bat an eyelid,
That's what others' did to me.

I have been made
Cruel and heartless
By this warped, greedy world.

If it won't affect me,
I won't care.
Oops I skipped "B" because I haven't thought of anything worth writing yet.
Jane Bell Nov 2017
I keep telling people who ask,
I'm the best I've ever been!
But if that's so true
Why am I still crying every night because I miss my brothers
Or blame myself for the divorce
Or regret liking this boy because even though we've kissed a lot, I don't think he likes me
Yet I'm happy?
I have a job,
Family with structure,
A school with great grades on my scripts
But I can't trust anyone or see where I fit
I'm so lost in a little city
But don't worry big city 'friends,' I'm great!
I don't regret moving so far away but who was I to think I would become someone starting as an empty shell
Jane Bell Oct 2017
There's something that doesn't feel right
When I moved out and told you this was best for me
Or when I didn't say goodbye to my little brother because he was outside playing
are both things I did for logical reasons
But if it was so logical
Why am I laying here alone questioning my reasoning for what I did?
Because now things just don't feel right.
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