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She used to hear her heart call
But she allowed herself to fall
She will never return back to then
Never allow herself to love her men

She is a love deserter, love deserter
She won't allow anyone to hurt her

She only sees her emotions fade
Not getting close is the price she paid
Never listens to those romantic words said
Takes only her desire then leaves the bed

She is a love deserter, love deserter
She won't allow anyone to hurt her

She is the one in control of her lust
Leaving you crawling in the dust
She has lost her passion to love
Crushes your heart with an iron glove

She is a love deserter, love deserter
She won't allow anyone to hurt her

To feel for someone, it's been too long
All that she had, it's now all gone
Secretly there will be only one man she needs
But he rejected her, it's why her heart bleeds

She is a love deserter, love deserter
She won't allow anyone to hurt her

She used to hear her heart call
But she allowed herself to fall
She is a love deserter, love deserter
She won't allow anyone to hurt her
lyrics copyright Chris Smith 2010
Sara L Russell May 2013
306 British & Commonwealth soldiers were shot at dawn for desertion in WW1.
Inspired by this fact and by BBC1's drama The Village*

I

Good-hearted soldier marched away to war,
Sad-eyed mother and father watched him leave
To help a noble cause worth fighting for;
Or so the government had us believe.

Bereavements swiftly followed. He returned
For time on leave, a changed, embittered soul;
Troubled by death where distant fires burned
As month on month the shelling took its toll.

Mentor and loving brother, man of peace,
Such was this force of nature we once knew;
Now weighed down with all war's catastrpohes
So guilty to be of the living few.

Oh bitter hindsight, cruel hand of fate,
That says what we must do when it's too late!


II

I saw him walking back along the path
That headed to the seaport, bound for France;
So full of care, lost in the aftermath
Of ****** conflict, as if in a trance.

Then suddenly he stumbled to his knees
And crawled, down on his belly, cautiously
As though bullets were coming through the trees
As though to shelter from the enemy.

He raked the grass with darting, trembling hands,
His staring eyes were wide with urgency
His legs would not obey his brain's commands
His lips whispered a plea for clemency

I saw my love, he didn't see me there
Longing to save his broken soul with prayer.


III

Never was a more terrifying sight
Than naked terror, screaming from his eyes;
I still recall him staring, every night;
It haunts my dreams from dusk into sunrise.

I wanted to embrace him, stroke his hair,
To whisper words of solace from the Lord;
But sometimes prayer hangs on the empty air,
Sometimes we cannot rescue the adored.

Later I visited his lonely room
To find him on his bed, facing the wall.
He turned to meet my gaze, eyes full of gloom
As if no soul resided there at all.

I made him pray with me, for love Divine;
Heedless of God, he pressed his lips to mine.


IV

I blush, I burn with shame, when I recall
I gave in to his kisses willingly;
He wanted heaven's solace not at all
But took his earthly comfort all from me.

So long I'd waited, through his years away,
Wishing to win his love through some kind deed
Now in his trembling grasp, too lost to pray,
I lay entranced by passion's burning greed.

When it was over, I looked at his face
He seemed to see some bright epiphany
Perhaps at last he knew our Saviour's grace
At last his breath came slowly; evenly.

He murmured something as I rose to go
I knew I loved him, but never said so.


V

I never said I loved him. With the dawn,
His doomsday clock was ticking down his hours.
I never said I loved him, I was torn;
For what love sanctifies, wartime deflowers.

Hindsight has pierced my heart with bitter thorns,
Trampled my dreams, stolen all future joy;
For in that worst of cataclysmic dawns,
I never said I love you to that boy.

I never even said a last farewell
Though warm kisses still echoed on my skin;
My silence tortures me, I am in hell
I burn in silent wars I cannot win.

The Redcaps came and took away my Joe.
I loved him; and now he will never know.
Day Wing Jun 2015
I’ve always wanted to have a friend
Someone who’d be there until the end
A companion through moments of hardship
Not a deserter who just decides to skip

I’ve always wanted to have a friend
Someone who’s loyalty would never bend
Together with trustworthiness and honesty
He’s not a deceitful liar who just manipulates me

I’ve always wanted to have a friend
To have a bond no price could comprehend
For neither money, nor jewelry could ever replace
A friendship’s bond, an everlasting embrace
Will you be my friend?  :)
Brian Fahey Jul 2015
Deserter.
                _
          / Bird _
in\ the hand,
Snake /of a feat\her,
  Sa/nd b/lo
w\i/ng in the evershiftin
win/d.\  \  _'_     /
  I'\m only empty pockets now,
M/y heart is full of sin.  
  \
./.
/\
Lone Spork
Ashlee Talbott May 2011
Desperate deserter, you're
failure's like water. Liquid
and burning like fire.
Bare head is crowned with
thorns of betrayal, wrists
are punctured with the
nails of your sacrifice.
   Bury me now, in this
sacred ground.
   The life that you're living
is so unforgiving.
   **** me now with the
horrid sound,
   Of your suffering.
Clearly you're hear now.
Softly you sing out.
Words that stab me.
Words that **** me,
with longing.
Now long and long from wintry Strymon blew
The weary, hungry, anchor-straining blasts,
The winds that wandering ****** dearly rue,
Nor spared the cables worn and groaning masts;
And, lingering on, in indolent delay,
Slow wasted all the strength of Greece away.
But when the shrill-voiced prophet 'gan proclaim
That remedy more dismal and more dread
Than the drear weather blackening overhead,
And spoke in Artemis' most awful name,
The sons of Atreus, 'mid their armed peers,
Their sceptres dashed to earth, and each broke out in tears,
And thus the elder king began to say:
"Dire doom! to disobey the gods' commands!
More dire, my child, mine house's pride, to slay,
Dabbling in ****** blood a father's hands.
Alas! alas! which way to fly?
As base deserter quit the host,
The pride and strength of our great league all lost?
Should I the storm-appeasing rite deny,
Will not their wrathfullest wrath rage up and swell?
Exact the ******'s blood?--oh, would 't were o'er and well!"

So, 'neath Necessity's stern yoke he passed,
And his lost soul, with impious impulse veering,
Surrendered to the accursed unholy blast,
Warped to the dire extreme of human daring.
The frenzy of affliction still
Maddens, dire counselor, man's soul to ill.

So he endured to be the priest
In that child-slaughtering rite unblest,
The first full offering of that host
In fatal war for a bad woman lost.

The prayers, the mute appeal to her hard sire,
Her youth, her ****** beauty,
Naught heeded they, the chiefs for war on fire.
So to the ministers of that dire duty
(First having prayed) the father gave the sign,
Like some soft kid, to lift her to the shrine.

There lay she prone,
Her graceful garments round her thrown;
But first her beauteous mouth around
Their violent bonds they wound,
With their rude inarticulate might,
Lest her dread curse the fatal house should smite.
But she her saffron robe to earth let fall:
The shaft of pity from her eye
Transpierced that awful priesthood--one and all.
Lovely as in a picture stood she by
As she would speak. Thus at her father's feasts
The ******, 'mid the reveling guests,
Was wont with her chaste voice to supplicate
For her dear father an auspicious fate.

I saw no more! to speak more is not mine;
Not unfulfilled was Calchas' lore divine.
Eternal justice still will bring
Wisdom out of suffering.
So to the fond desire farewell,
The inevitable future to foretell;
'Tis but our woe to antedate;
Joint knit with joint, expands the full-formed fate.
Yet at the end of these dark days
May prospering weal return at length;
Thus in his spirit prays
He of the Apian land the sole remaining strength.
gurthbruins Nov 2015
Tiare Tahiti

MAMUA, when our laughter ends,
And hearts and bodies, brown as white,
Are dust about the doors of friends,
Or scent ablowing down the night,
Then, oh! then, the wise agree,
Comes our immortality.
Mamua, there waits a land
Hard for us to understand.
Out of time, beyond the sun,
All are one in Paradise,
You and Pupure are one,
And Tau, and the ungainly wise.
There the Eternals are, and there
The Good, the Lovely, and the True,
And Types, whose earthly copies were
The foolish broken things we knew;
There is the Face, whose ghosts we are;
The real, the never-setting Star;
And the Flower, of which we love
Faint and fading shadows here;
Never a tear, but only Grief;
Dance, but not the limbs that move;
Songs in Song shall disappear;
Instead of lovers, Love shall be;
For hearts, Immutability;
And there, on the Ideal Reef,
Thunders the Everlasting Sea!
And my laughter, and my pain,
Shall home to the Eternal Brain.
And all lovely things, they say,
Meet in Loveliness again;
Miri's laugh, Teipo's feet,
And the hands of Matua,
Stars and sunlight there shall meet,
Coral's hues and rainbows there,
And Teura's braided hair;
And with the starred 'tiare's' white,
And white birds in the dark ravine,
And 'flamboyants' ablaze at night,
And jewels, and evening's after-green,
And dawns of pearl and gold and red,
Mamua, your lovelier head!
And there'll no more be one who dreams
Under the ferns, of crumbling stuff,
Eyes of illusion, mouth that seems,
All time-entangled human love.
And you'll no longer swing and sway
Divinely down the scented shade,
Where feet to Ambulation fade,
And moons are lost in endless Day.
How shall we wind these wreaths of ours,
Where there are neither heads nor flowers?
Oh, Heaven's Heaven! -- - but we'll be missing
The palms, and sunlight, and the south;
And there's an end, I think, of kissing,
When our mouths are one with Mouth. . . .
'Tau here', Mamua,
Crown the hair, and come away!
Hear the calling of the moon,
And the whispering scents that stray
About the idle warm lagoon.
Hasten, hand in human hand,
Down the dark, the flowered way,
Along the whiteness of the sand,
And in the water's soft caress,
Wash the mind of foolishness,
Mamua, until the day.
Spend the glittering moonlight there
Pursuing down the soundless deep
Limbs that gleam and shadowy hair,
Or floating lazy, half-asleep.
Dive and double and follow after,
Snare in flowers, and kiss, and call,
With lips that fade, and human laughter
And faces individual,
Well this side of Paradise! . . .
There's little comfort in the wise.

Rupert Brooke, Papeete, February 1914


. The Great Lover

I HAVE been so great a lover: filled my days
So proudly with the splendour of Love's praise,
The pain, the calm, and the astonishment,
Desire illimitable, and still content,
And all dear names men use, to cheat despair,
For the perplexed and viewless streams that bear
Our hearts at random down the dark of life.
Now, ere the unthinking silence on that strife
Steals down, I would cheat drowsy Death so far,
My night shall be remembered for a star
That outshone all the suns of all men's days.
Shall I not crown them with immortal praise
Whom I have loved, who have given me, dared with me
High secrets, and in darkness knelt to see
The inenarrable godhead of delight?
Love is a flame; -- - we have beaconed the world's night.
A city: -- - and we have built it, these and I.
An emperor: -- - we have taught the world to die.
So, for their sakes I loved, ere I go hence,
And the high cause of Love's magnificence,
And to keep loyalties young, I'll write those names
Golden for ever, eagles, crying flames,
And set them as a banner, that men may know,
To dare the generations, burn, and blow
Out on the wind of Time, shining and streaming. . . .
These I have loved:
                            White plates and cups, clean-gleaming,
Ringed with blue lines; and feathery, færy dust;
Wet roofs, beneath the lamp-light; the strong crust
Of friendly bread; and many-tasting food;
Rainbows; and the blue bitter smoke of wood;
And radiant raindrops couching in cool flowers;
And flowers themselves, that sway through sunny hours,
Dreaming of moths that drink them under the moon;
Then, the cool kindliness of sheets, that soon
Smooth away trouble; and the rough male kiss
Of blankets; grainy wood; live hair that is
Shining and free; blue-massing clouds; the keen
Unpassioned beauty of a great machine;
The benison of hot water; furs to touch;
The good smell of old clothes; and other such -- -
The comfortable smell of friendly fingers,
Hair's fragrance, and the musty reek that lingers
About dead leaves and last year's ferns. . . .
                            Dear names,
And thousand other throng to me! Royal flames;
Sweet water's dimpling laugh from tap or spring;
Holes in the ground; and voices that do sing;
Voices in laughter, too; and body's pain,
Soon turned to peace; and the deep-panting train;
Firm sands; the little dulling edge of foam
That browns and dwindles as the wave goes home;
And washen stones, gay for an hour; the cold
Graveness of iron; moist black earthen mould;
Sleep; and high places; footprints in the dew;
And oaks; and brown horse-chestnuts, glossy-new;
And new-peeled sticks; and shining pools on grass; -- -
All these have been my loves. And these shall pass,
Whatever passes not, in the great hour,
Nor all my passion, all my prayers, have power
To hold them with me through the gate of Death.
They'll play deserter, turn with the traitor breath,
Break the high bond we made, and sell Love's trust
And sacramented covenant to the dust.
---- Oh, never a doubt but, somewhere, I shall wake,
And give what's left of love again, and make
New friends, now strangers. . . .
                            But the best I've known,
Stays here, and changes, breaks, grows old, is blown
About the winds of the world, and fades from brains
Of living men, and dies.
                            Nothing remains.
O dear my loves, O faithless, once again
This one last gift I give: that after men
Shall know, and later lovers, far-removed,
Praise you, "All these were lovely"; say, "He loved."

Rupert Brooke, Mataiea, 1914


. Heaven

FISH (fly-replete, in depth of June,
Dawdling away their wat'ry noon)
Ponder deep wisdom, dark or clear,
Each secret fishy hope or fear.
Fish say, they have their Stream and Pond;
But is there anything Beyond?
This life cannot be All, they swear,
For how unpleasant, if it were!
One may not doubt that, somehow, Good
Shall come of Water and of Mud;
And, sure, the reverent eye must see
A Purpose in Liquidity.
We darkly know, by Faith we cry,
The future is not Wholly Dry.
Mud unto mud! -- - Death eddies near -- -
Not here the appointed End, not here!
But somewhere, beyond Space and Time.
Is wetter water, slimier slime!
And there (they trust) there swimmeth One
Who swam ere rivers were begun,
Immense, of fishy form and mind,
Squamous, omnipotent, and kind;
And under that Almighty Fin,
The littlest fish may enter in.
Oh! never fly conceals a hook,
Fish say, in the Eternal Brook,
But more than mundane weeds are there,
And mud, celestially fair;
Fat caterpillars drift around,
And Paradisal grubs are found;
Unfading moths, immortal flies,
And the worm that never dies.
And in that Heaven of all their wish,
There shall be no more land, say fish.


. There's Wisdom in Women

"OH LOVE is fair, and love is rare;" my dear one she said,
"But love goes lightly over." I bowed her foolish head,
And kissed her hair and laughed at her. Such a child was she;
So new to love, so true to love, and she spoke so bitterly.
But there's wisdom in women, of more than they have known,
And thoughts go blowing through them, are wiser than their own,
Or how should my dear one, being ignorant and young,
Have cried on love so bitterly, with so true a tongue?


. A Memory (From a sonnet-sequence)

SOMEWHILE before the dawn I rose, and stept
Softly along the dim way to your room,
And found you sleeping in the quiet gloom,
And holiness about you as you slept.
I knelt there; till your waking fingers crept
About my head, and held it. I had rest
Unhoped this side of Heaven, beneath your breast.
I knelt a long time, still; nor even wept.
It was great wrong you did me; and for gain
Of that poor moment's kindliness, and ease,
And sleepy mother-comfort!
                            Child, you know
How easily love leaps out to dreams like these,
Who has seen them true. And love that's wakened so
Takes all too long to lay asleep again.

Rupert Brooke, Waikiki, October 1913


. One Day

TODAY I have been happy. All the day
I held the memory of you, and wove
Its laughter with the dancing light o' the spray,
And sowed the sky with tiny clouds of love,
And sent you following the white waves of sea,
And crowned your head with fancies, nothing worth,
Stray buds from that old dust of misery,
Being glad with a new foolish quiet mirth.
So lightly I played with those dark memories,
Just as a child, beneath the summer skies,
Plays hour by hour with a strange shining stone,
For which (he knows not) towns were fire of old,
And love has been betrayed, and ****** done,
And great kings turned to a little bitter mould.

Rupert Brooke, The Pacific, October 1913


. Waikiki

WARM perfumes like a breath from vine and tree
      Drift down the darkness. Plangent, hidden from eyes
      Somewhere an 'eukaleli' thrills and cries
And stabs with pain the night's brown savagery.
And dark scents whisper; and dim waves creep to me,
      Gleam like a woman's hair, stretch out, and rise;
      And new stars burn into the ancient skies,
Over the murmurous soft Hawaian sea.
And I recall, lose, grasp, forget again,
      And still remember, a tale I have heard, or known,
An empty tale, of idleness and pain,
      Of two that loved -- - or did not love -- - and one
Whose perplexed heart did evil, foolishly,
A long while since, and by some other sea.

Rupert Brooke, Waikiki, 1913



OTHER POEMS

The Busy Heart

NOW that we've done our best and worst, and parted,
      I would fill my mind with thoughts that will not rend.
(O heart, I do not dare go empty-hearted)
      I'll think of Love in books, Love without end;
Women with child, content; and old men sleeping;
      And wet strong ploughlands, scarred for certain grain;
And babes that weep, and so forget their weeping;
      And the young heavens, forgetful after rain;
And evening hush, broken by homing wings;
      And Song's nobility, and Wisdom holy,
That live, we dead. I would think of a thousand things,
      Lovely and durable, and taste them slowly,
One after one, like tasting a sweet food.
I have need to busy my heart with quietude.


. Love

LOVE is a breach in the walls, a broken gate,
      Where that comes in that shall not go again;
Love sells the proud heart's citadel to Fate.
      They have known shame, who love unloved. Even then,
When two mouths, thirsty each for each, find slaking,
      And agony's forgot, and hushed the crying
Of credulous hearts, in heaven -- - such are but taking
      Their own poor dreams within their arms, and lying
Each in his lonely night, each with a ghost.
      Some share that night. But they know love grows colder,
Grows false and dull, that was sweet lies at most.
      Astonishment is no more in hand or shoulder,
But darkens, and dies out from kiss to kiss.
All this is love; and all love is but this.


. Unfortunate

HEART, you are restless as a paper scrap
      That's tossed down dusty pavements by the wind;
      Saying, "She is most wise, patient and kind.
Between the small hands folded in her lap
Surely a shamed head may bow down at length,
      And find forgiveness where the shadows stir
About her lips, and wisdom in her strength,
      Peace in her peace. Come to her, come to her!" . . .
She will not care. She'll smile to see me come,
      So that I think all Heaven in flower to fold me.
      She'll give me all I ask, kiss me and hold me,
           And open wide upon that holy air
The gates of peace, and take my tiredness home,
           Kinder than God. But, heart, she will not care.


. The Chilterns

YOUR hands, my dear, adorable,
      Your lips of tenderness
-- Oh, I've loved you faithfully and well,
      Three years, or a bit less.
      It wasn't a success.
Thank God, that's done! and I'll take the road,
      Quit of my youth and you,
The Roman road to Wendover
      By Tring and Lilley Hoo,
      As a free man may do.
For youth goes over, the joys that fly,
      The tears that follow fast;
And the dirtiest things we do must lie
      Forgotten at the last;
      Even Love goes past.
What's left behind I shall not find,
      The splendour and the pain;
The splash of sun, the shouting wind,
      And the brave sting of rain,
      I may not meet again.
But the years, that take the best away,
      Give something in the end;
And a better friend than love have they,
      For none to mar or mend,
      That have themselves to friend.
I shall desire and I shall find
      The best of my desires;
The autumn road, the mellow wind
      That soothes the darkening shires.
      And laughter, and inn-fires.
White mist about the black hedgerows,
      The slumbering Midland plain,
The silence where the clover grows,
      And the dead leaves in the lane,
      Certainly, these remain.
And I shall find some girl perhaps,
      And a better one than you,
With eyes as wise, but kindlier,
      And lips as soft, but true.
      And I daresay she will do.


. Home

I CAME back late and tired last night
      Into my little room,
To the long chair and the firelight
      And comfortable gloom.
But as I entered softly in
      I saw a woman there,
The line of neck and cheek and chin,
      The darkness of her hair,
The form of one I did not know
      Sitting in my chair.
I stood a moment fierce and still,
      Watching her neck and hair.
I made a step to her; and saw
      That there was no one there.
It was some trick of the firelight
      That made me see her there.
It was a chance of shade and light
      And the cushion in the chair.
Oh, all you happy over the earth,
      That night, how could I sleep?
I lay and watched the lonely gloom;
      And watched the moonlight creep
From wall to basin, round the room,
      All night I could not sleep.



. Beauty and Beauty

WHEN Beauty and Beauty meet
      All naked, fair to fair,
The earth is crying-sweet,
      And scattering-bright the air,
Eddying, dizzying, closing round,
      With soft and drunken laughter;
Veiling all that may befall
      After -- - after -- -
Where Beauty and Beauty met,
      Earth's still a-tremble there,
And winds are scented yet,
      And memory-soft the air,
Bosoming, folding glints of light,
      And shreds of shadowy laughter;
Not the tears that fill the years
      After -- - after -- -


. The Way That Lovers Use

THE way that lovers use is this;
      They bow, catch hands, with never a word,
And their lips meet, and they do kiss,
      -- - So I have heard.
They queerly find some healing so,
      And strange attainment in the touch;
There is a secret lovers know,
      -- - I have read as much.
And theirs no longer joy nor smart,
      Changing or ending, night or day;
But mouth to mouth, and heart on heart,
      -- - So lovers say.


1908 - 1911

Sonnet: "Oh! Death will find me, long before I tire"

OH! DEATH will find me, long before I tire
Of watching you; and swing me suddenly
Into the shade and loneliness and mire
Of the last land! There, waiting patiently,
One day, I think, I'll feel a cool wind blowing,
See a slow light across the Stygian tide,
And hear the Dead about me stir, unknowing,
And tremble. And I shall know that you have died,
And watch you, a broad-browed and smiling dream,
Pass, light as ever, through the lightless host,
Quietly ponder, start, and sway, and gleam -- -
Most individual and bewildering ghost! -- -
And turn, and toss your brown delightful head
Amusedly, among the ancient Dead.


. Sonnet: "I said I splendidly loved you; it's not true"

I SAID I splendidly loved you; it's not true.
Such long swift tides stir not a land-locked sea.
On gods or fools the high risk falls -- - on you -- -
The clean clear bitter-sweet that's not for me.
Love soars from earth to ecstasies unwist.
Love is flung Lucifer-like from Heaven to Hell.
But -- - there are wanderers in the middle mist,
Who cry for sh
Don Bouchard Jun 2014
We've set a precedent:
Traded Bergdahl for five Terrorists...
The deal is done.

Questions hovering above and below...
How many loyal lives were lost
To bring a lone deserter back?

How many lives will go because
Five terrorists walked free?

Did Bergdahl set up the deal
To set a precedent
To set up a President?
Were the five men picked to trade
By Us or Them?
Who's running the show?
Who's to blame?
And Whom shall we say is calling
The shots, and who can say
How many lives were paid
For one who just deserts?

Incoming!
Response/Reaction to today's news that five apprehended Terrorists were traded for one U.S. soldier who laid down arms and walked away from his comrades into Taliban captivity...only to be exchanged for five Camp Gitmo detainees who have know ties to the killing of American citizens.  Meanwhile, the Veterans Administration isn't done 'splainin' why they aren't taking care of our Veterans' health care needs.... Sigh
Brian O'blivion Sep 2013
blind and black andromeda drops her skirt
and
around her waist she drapes the coldest dirt
when the pink pearl parade is nearing
don't ask, for long forgotten what was told her
monarch and viceroy we age (but don't get any older)
2 dark lovers sleeping in a midnight clearing

overland their dreams they glide of a lower shaded tint
darkness over top of light white chocolate eggs and mint
linen kitten sheets under branches lined of frost
the surface tower rises by a shower sky of cream
silhouetted hours joined discreetly at the seam
riding overnight trains so as not to wake the lost

the cauldron of a moment seen after a lifetime's purge
parallel hips that light a smile never to converge
"she smells like nina simone with a humid voice like ether
pastel lips, renaissance legs and august sunset *******..."
a second to align our love before the blackened water crests
nobody, nobody, nobody knows the depths that lie beneath her

this fairground love ends in blessed rapture flame
the terminal separation that God has given name
of a strawberry village girl isolated and honey tressed
whose severed fingers have guided paths anew
when she could have left she decided not to
but bound her deserter's hands behind love's holy breast

now the violet sands cover our tracks then shift
returning to a landscape's nightly spiral drift
that was the night everything changed
the hunted left the hunting grounds
the silence longed to find a sound
the equinox flowers lay rearranged
A Mink Oct 2013
Dear ghost of a lover,
Sweet, angelic thoughts.
Temptation in its most swelling form.
Haunt me, please haunt me?
Haunt my thoughts, and my experiences...
Just be there.

Desperation clinging to every vibration.
Vibrations devoid of you, of your presence.
Decadent ghost of a stranger I must
Forget.

Victim to my salvation.
Deserter of my desperation.
Lover from a lifetime ago.
Seek me. Your vengeance of
Silence is too cruel.
The emptiness consumes me.
Once the Emperor Charles of Spain,
  With his swarthy, grave commanders,
I forget in what campaign,
Long besieged, in mud and rain,
  Some old frontier town of Flanders.

Up and down the dreary camp,
  In great boots of Spanish leather,
Striding with a measured *****,
These Hidalgos, dull and damp,
  Cursed the Frenchmen, cursed the weather.

Thus as to and fro they went,
  Over upland and through hollow,
Giving their impatience vent,
Perched upon the Emperor’s tent,
  In her nest, they spied a swallow.

Yes, it was a swallow’s nest,
  Built of clay and hair of horses,
Mane, or tail, or dragoon’s crest,
Found on hedge-rows east and west,
  After skirmish of the forces.

Then an old Hidalgo said,
  As he twirled his gray mustachio,
“Sure this swallow overhead
Thinks the Emperor’s tent a shed,
  And the Emperor but a Macho!”

Hearing his imperial name
  Coupled with those words of malice,
Half in anger, half in shame,
Forth the great campaigner came
  Slowly from his canvas palace.

“Let no hand the bird ******,”
  Said he solemnly, “nor hurt her!”
Adding then, by way of jest,
“Golondrina is my guest,
  ’Tis the wife of some deserter!”

Swift as bowstring speeds a shaft,
  Through the camp was spread the rumor,
And the soldiers, as they quaffed
Flemish beer at dinner, laughed
  At the Emperor’s pleasant humor.

So unharmed and unafraid
  Sat the swallow still and brooded,
Till the constant cannonade
Through the walls a breach had made
  And the siege was thus concluded.

Then the army, elsewhere bent,
  Struck its tents as if disbanding,
Only not the Emperor’s tent,
For he ordered, ere he went,
  Very curtly, “Leave it standing!”

So it stood there all alone,
  Loosely flapping, torn and tattered,
Till the brood was fledged and flown,
Singing o’er those walls of stone
  Which the cannon-shot had shattered.
I deserted from the paradise to explore the universe
Because God made me excellent but also just diverse
I wanted to be considered at length while I was terse
With visions to explore horizons to be more transverse

I came across a sand dunes with its real musical tunes
Then I saw beauty with very many galaxies and moons
Love came down to me like drizzling rain in monsoons
A fairy in her golden dress came to me for honeymoons

Beam of light struck to complete the pursuit of my soul
A glowing beauty touched my heart as my ultimate goal
Sentiments started moving from part to part ,pole to pole
Love reinvigorated celebrated in shape of love as a whole

Col Muhammad Khalid Khan
Copyright 2016 Golden Glow
K Balachandran Aug 2014
After, a long drawn out burning kiss
that opened a never healing wound
she leaves for the secret rendezvous
in a verdant oasis in a distant desert.
He didn't hear about her even after
light years, remembrance of that
kept on haunting him, for reasons
he wanted to find, he burned and burned.

On a full moon night after million years,
searching in the desert, long hours
sweating and tired like a haunted animal
he found a magnificent Spinx,felt connected
fell for that feminine allure, curved hips
hypnotic eyes of a hermaphrodite,swell of *******,
that illogically prompted him to caress,

towering high at the end of an oasis,
wasn't it  a construct of desire?

he stood, feverishly desiring those pouting lips,
the moment next, missed the one inflicted wound,
in a pit inside  forbidden longings erupt
when speaking  language of desire, poisoned fruits too
taste dark poetry, nature flows to  symmetry
"No man or woman, loved me like that"
a whisper, then a hiss, in passion proclaims
there she was his one time lover, cheat, deserter
of his spirit's mating call, still he isn't free from delusions,
she abandoned him for another, in that too wasn't sure
yet another of her misadventure, does she repent?

"I didn't want to miss you like this" she says
"you mistook that I was in love with her, him or whatever"
entanglements, there were from the word go,
her eyes , he observed were sapphires,
her bleached white bones, were irresistible, totems
he wanted to preserve it in the museum in Cairo
her being grew in to him like an oasis
in a desert, a weary, insane, traveler reaches
just in time for the final peaceful hour before all resolve.

"Are you insane, what makes you do this again" a voice asked,
another million years would pass without any solace,
the sphinx, so magnificent then would be just a sand dune !
They hand in hand, would be walking over it,
that sweet oblivion would remain, birth after birth.
He wore a crisp white suit,
exquisitely tailored; His hair,
platinum-blonde, styled elegantly,
fluttered lightly in the exhaust
of an unseen fan, casting
the shimmer of overhead lights
onto the mahogany table where we sat.

He was a beautiful man, but fearsome --
the lines and angles of His face were harsh,
nearly ugly, but regal and proud.
Contemplative and intense, legs crossed,
He smoked a black Djarum clove,
blowing plumes of curling perfume.

And He was unhappy with me.

With a voice like gravel and nails,
He asked about my whereabouts of late.
I had forsaken Him for love, and suddenly
felt the weight of my deserter's guilt.

He nodded in understanding,
His eyes squinting in deep thought,
then coming to rest on my torso;
Looking down, I saw it wrapped
in lavish dress, a suit as fine as His,
but black as the maw of death,
and remarked, "This is not my suit."

"It's Mine," He confirmed. "Keep it;
I think you're going to need it."
I understood that He spoke rightly.
Our eyes met. Finally, He smiled,
and clapping His hands, exclaimed,
"Let there be Light," and I awoke.

I had thinking to do.

Months passed in tense emotion;
Then dysfunction spilled over,
and on an unexpected night,
I prepared to dream alone, disrobing
for the quiet undertow of sleep.
Suddenly I heard His voice ring out.

He bade me lie in wait, so still
and so silent, feigning sleep.
Soon came footsteps in the courtyard,
keys jingling outside the door,
the door opening to allow entry,
a cigarette cherry in the dark,
restless pacing back and forth.

I knew something was wrong;
I awoke to betrayal,
and responding in kind,
Anger became Righteousness,
and revenge became Truth.
But it was not sufficient.

I had Work to do.

Opportunities materialized.
I prepared for action, clothing myself
in shadows, preparing the altar stone,
collecting candles, prayers, photographs,
the proper words for invocation,
plotting the course of the Moon.

The time came; the bell was struck;
the candles lit (twelve black, one white);
the perfumes hung thick in the air.
The words read themselves in monotone,
unperturbed by my hyperventilation.

Wind picked up, threatening the flames.
Danger welled up in the pit of my belly.
Innocence dissolved in passion,
extending into eternal shade.
I had become what I had invoked.

I poured it into the chalice and slept.
Upon awakening, I was myself again.

The fruit of my act was terrifying.

We sat in His parlor, drinking tea,
lazy rays of golden sunshine
illuminating a cozy, peaceful room.
With but a hint of fear, I noticed
that as He sipped in silence, He wore
a suit as black as the soul of a ghoul.
This time, it was I who wore white.

I knew that He was pleased.
My longest work in a great while.
Not exactly fictional.
LACS Apr 2013
I am your product,
But not your likeness.
I borrowed from you,
You borrowed me.

There is an evenness to our bargain
As long as it stops now.

You laid the cards and instilled my empathy.
To never say no because I couldn't, you needed me.
To listen to your explanations of family,
But you stopped protecting me.

Always saying it wasn't enough.
That you worked hard,
That you worked long,
That I had no excuses,
Because It's true, I didn't.
I had facts of my reality;
Fact of otherness,
Fact of alone.
Of ostracism,
Of wondering if a crowd would bring me companionship.
Of thinking a man was the only way to happiness,
Because you seemed to think so.
Of cursing your talk of family when you left to find your missing pieces in another's bed.
You needing me to be strong because we were all we had;
Shutting my mouth,
Pressing words back into feelings.
That you used me just like they claimed you'd done to them.
Baring their children, not caring for their say, not asking for more.
But you wanted more from me
You told me often and over.
Leaving me to be the milk-less maid.
The child mother to her mothers children,
Your sweet little children;
The ones I fiercely love,
The ones I fear you'll let break,
Like you have broken me.
My sweet little sisters.

You were my first love,
My first true hate.
The woman who bore me,
The woman who cast me out.
The wisdom in my head,
And the fool before my eyes.
My mother, the bringer, the borrower.
The one person I thought would never betray my trust;
The deserter in my time of need.

You may have borrowed my childhood;
Forever unreturned.
You may have taught me kindness in your selfishness,
You may have been my hero,
I thought you were one...
Someone to aspire to be...
But it's so simple and straight who you are now,
Now that you aren't seen through the rosy cast of my child love.

I play my hand, laying them down
Forthright and coming.
To let you know that I am no longer yours,
No longer yours to borrow.
I am my own,
You can no longer claim me.
capo 2nd em - c - am bridge g c am
Tom McCone Feb 2016
we were wandering down the side of the highway, pickin' blackberries on the way back to the car. this'd hit my mind many times over the past week, and will probably continue out into the future:

there's somethin' ticking away in there, makes me shrink away from humanity, despite the loneliness i ain't wanna amplify any. words i need to say crop up, out of the blue mist of living, and internally i make all the motions to spread 'em out, see the way my hands, lips would move, in exact musculature sweeps. but it don't follow through.

is this leavin' blues? that if i shrink away from those who care, it'll be easier to let go once more? or just an excuse for laziness (fairly sure 'twas for the last month or so, last city)? if i swore i'd love equally and with open heart, why can't i keep eye contact, even with my own cousin? is this penance for all ashamedness i can't slip from my hands?

i'm full of excuses and few good ones. i am changing and learning to let go, but understand that perhaps i need to learn to hold on a little better. is it possible to figure it out before true wrenching loss colours my palette? or is it necessary to keep shedding skin to find meaning?

don't know how to express fully how much people mean to me, and can't seem to do anything in a half-measure. is it okay to settle for flawed motions, to prevent from seeming bored? to act as i see through in others, find of little use; is it instead endearing, or even just to confer base notions in a derobed manner?

how do these shells come away? how do these walls tear down?
note: stop diggin' holes, stop runnin' away.
MV Blake Mar 2015
Vocal silence
Does for an
Argument make.
You hide behind your belligerence;
With mortar of icy rage and
Stones of cold indifference,
Laid with trowels of denial,
Lobbing nothing wrong
Like fury-fueled firebombs
Then you run a mile.

It's not a war,
It's a conflict.
I'm hunting through a jungle
Of stone-walled edicts,
My defensive guns laying ammo
On metaphorical trees
Guilty of hiding the dead.
A bunker deep enemy,
Safe in their concrete head.

Hunting a deserter
Who spent a lifetime
Learning camouflage techniques,
Sulking under cover,
Lining up their gently angry shot
For when the cross-hairs meet.

I would call you out,
But you would only go in.
It's like fighting a shadow,
My silent twin;
Naturally nurtured
To hide behind benevolence
And fight a cold war.

I warn you, it's growing thin.
Tia Jun 2014
Full moon to no moon. ..
it's a black night....
obama throw our country out the window....
it's not just his fault though.  
It's these greedy *** wholes...
our resources are going down...
but noone cares.....
we as a nation..
need to pay attention..  
the real worlds not just a tv show... everyone is brained washed in our nation...
It's hard to say proud to be an American..
When the world is laughing...
Our own president negotiated with terrorist...
One law we stood by..
Any why...
For a deserter..
Who should of had his head cut off...
Between politics...
And big corporations...
Kids my age are in a daze...
They can repeat every word to every song...
But not one of our founding fathers...
Who by the way..
Didn't just concentrate on one thing...
Somehow along the way..
We turned politics in to a career..
A game...
We as the people of our nation..
Need to stand up..
Start paying attention...
And make this country...
The best it can be....
So we can stand up..
With our heads held high..
And scream.
I'm proud to be an American
Are you my family?
Enemy?
Or my deserter?
I was stuck with bills and a reputation
where I had to endure stares and revocations.
Revelations
I learned that blood is never thicker than water.
Falling down stairs
A broken and feeble weak man
Nights of hospital rooms
and no one to visit me
as I healed from hell
Again and again
I believed their lies and I had been the one who had fell
to their lies and actions
they ran away and left me to take the blame
to take the fall
A bleeding heart and knife stabbing emptiness
My true family
was not a sister and or brother
It was another
Who held out a hand and then walked with me
Not to place me as the scape goat
or the fall guy
For they tested me with truth and opened up my blind eyes
For blood is never thicker than water
until they cut you and bleed you and make you sick
Then the ones who value you the most do pick one up when he is sick
Charles Barnett Feb 2011
So, hide behind that ink pen
and wit you're so proud of.
But I know the truth.
You're like a child
lost in a shopping mall.
Alone, clinging to passersby.
Wanting to ask the clerk to
page your family, but too
shy to suggest.

So, hide behind your so-called
friends
and flee from your idiosyncrasies.
But, you and I both know you're
a deserter.
smile and laugh with them,
but you're still coming home
with me.

So, hide behind your charisma
and guile. You're not as clever as
you think because, I'm still here when
you close your eyes
And you're still taking me home
with you.
I am tired, I am worn
I just realized how love could easily be dispensed for another
I loved you with every molecule of my being
I’d like to move on with you
But I guess, you want to move on with someone else
Am I too pure, too innocent for you?
Am I taking this too seriously, it scares you?
You said, I’m a "rarity", but you expect me to woo you like the previous person that devastated you?
I’d like you to think this out really carefully
Because I'm tired of the mix signals you're giving off
Because I'm tired from laying low
I’m thinking of letting you go, for real this time
I tried my best to make you aware my love
I’m sorry if it wasn’t enough
A sputtering star trying to draw your attention, shimmering haplessly
Perhaps, I’m just a speck of dust in your vast cosmos—surrounded with stars more alluring
I tried to see you as a friend, but I just can’t see things the way they were
I can’t simply revert back to my former self, and pretend nothing happened, because something did
You taught me that just because we had so much in common, even if we shared the same views, the same quirks, and once, the same longing for each other
You can still be cruel enough to leave a laceration at someone’s heart that throbs for you
You can still clog someone's lungs with tar and nails who’s very purpose is to breathe for you
Please do not have the audacity to think that my arms are always unfurled for you, because I will still love you, but no longer as a lover, but as a compassionate deserter
My heart still burns for you, but I have to look away with just enough coldness to keep my sanity
Should I take this as a trial or a memorial?
Think carefully, my soulmate
Think, very carefully, my love
Harry cave Dec 2015
What have I done but obey the cynical dogma that plagues the patriots?
(then to be rewarded with the cutting rattle of the guns
that dehumanised the holiest saints.
MIA the pawn who obeyed.)

Can we sacrifice to "the Cause", for the end?
(without the other side sacrificing more.
Men should press toward the enemy.
We will win because ten minus one equals nine
Rip the glorified general.)

Possibly **** the man I call brother for hesitation.
(with the gun that conscripted me to his side.
"killed for the disobeying of orders".
They will say that I was a traitor
But never a man of his country
RIP the brother that hesitated.)

Justify the sin that will be forced upon my brother.
(As I will not commit the sun that will be forced upon me.
RIP the holy deserter.)

The multination of a child.
(Thats what Devils do.
That's what they did to me.
Destroying what I took for granted.
RIP the young amputee.)

Glorification of the war as some sort of game.
("Come sign up you be a hero"
I lied in front of them
But back then I even believed myself.
RIP the gulibal propagandist)

In war winning is living
(Yet not a one I am willing to play.
RIP the veteran)

Destruction of the family tree
(Destiny was not prepared for the irrational.
RIP the mother that worried)

What can possibly justify the glorification in destruction?
Nike Kaffezakis Sep 2010
Speeding down the road
In my shiny silver corvette.
The wind blasting my face,
Only open country highway
Coming my way.
So I fiddle with the ****
On my old radio
To find something worth playing.

Crackle
A man calls out,
Deperate in his attempts
To get the attention
Of the most beautiful girl
Who's with another man...
Next!

Pop
A woman sobs loudly
Over losing her true love,
Over being left alone.
She wants the deserter back
But at what cost...
Flip!

Pssshht
A couple find each other.
They are destined to be,
To have the beautiful wedding,
To raise the perfect family,
To live the American Dream...  
Turn off!

My god
They are everywhere  
No wonder my life's  
A love song

That must be why
I want to hold someone
In my arms
In my heart
In my mind
So, so badly,
I want to find someone
That fits me
That loves me
That's THE ONE
Of course
I want someone to call me
Boyfriend
Love  
Husband

It is plastered everywhere  
All these childhood fantasies
All this innocent thinking
All this wonderful imagining.  
And I devour it all  
Because I have no reason  
To believe it's impossibe
Even though it'll be hard.

You might think I'm  
Pathetic and foolish;
You might call me silly;
You can laugh away,
But my life is a love song
And I bet yours is too.
You just haven't thought about it.
It's probably best if you try not to.

So my life is a love song.
Is it something you'd listen to?
- From What's inside
Basko Aug 2013
It was killed before it was tortured
nothing dead could be hurt they said
but what was hurt here was already dead
what had taken years and nurtured
you killed it, World
be cursed, and behold
sinner! here comes the night

And slowly does it strike
the spark of the stars
the final hours
i cry ******! ******!
and i dare you run
and see your conscience be a deserter
And i shall give a death not from a gun
neither a blade for the matter
but i shall ****

Vanquish your pride first
then end the thirst for your
recognitions so utterly desired
and **** your self
with the pelf
you killed mine
and in hopes of this the night shall dine
with your fears and resentment
while i shall feast in your fears
Here I come...
Clare Nov 2013
Let my beaten heart take console
That you, my dear friend,
Have been, and are by my side.
What but that, I live by?
True as you have been to me,
Your worth is beyond my price.
I might be a lot of things, but not
A deserter. I am the same within.
All I ask is a little more faith
And not ask where I've been all day
For how can I, my dearest, confess
That I have been busy making mistakes.
anne collins Sep 2014
I dreamt of you last night
confusing left and north from south and right
And it dawned on me then as this summer ends
Perhaps. It was all a game of house and pretend

But no -I know the valor of
Sacrificing your sacred defenses in the name of love
And you were the knight I knew you to be
A gift of bar crawls, museum miles and memory

Those sheets,those walls, that room we held captive
All in the name of romance as our captain
That ship you fled- a deserter or sorts
But there will be no Calvary or death by sword

I know you remain a face in plastic frame
A scar on my knee and a free wandering name
You swear you're still here
But this word falls deaf on one ear
Quite a bold assumption to swear
Not knowing the if night sky is clear

Walk briskly my sweet there is only defeat
In the crosses we bear & the poison we reap
I sit in tragic new affection drowned in nostalgic recollection
By the corner where you vowed that in love there is no protection

In herald square you'll find me there
Still musing our despair and contemplating the burden we share
Of all the tidings of love and no kiss to spare

I'm right where you left me but I've travelled so far
I'm no longer the waif you kissed love drunk by the  bar
I'm no longer a wish - so ignore my star

Breathe lightly, good sir it would do you well
To remember that earth is both heaven and hell
And the only things you know are the stories others tell

You intellect is both vast in it's expanse
And short in it's relevance

It wasn't either of us who broke such a vow
The honor of love should never have been allowed
To a girl with such ideals and a man on the clouds

But it's sweet in it's way - you still saved the day
That night in Madison square when my soul ran away
But to save a heart in a park just to throw it away?
What kindness is this? It's only a delay

When you cried sitting on my bedside
Assuring me that  our love had both lived and died
You don't know what I had compromised
To break and to wait as our harmony committed suicide

So take it now and wear it proud
You found your love in a violent crowd
And adored her once  in sidewalks and sun
Now she writes poetry wondering whom has won
This race to be the people we took oaths to become

It's all all-right- a swift flight
From Florida to the northern fight
In all those words we exchanged and misheard
I do recall we both feared this world
Of petty change and unsaved gain
A treacherous sea with no hope to tame
iPods and screaming along the 6 train
No doubt the results of pubs, psychology and *******

So I'll conclude this pain, this rant, this reign
We created infamy but never fame
And all the ashes
Baby,
They look the same

It's sad even still that our happiness took Ill
And none of our efforts, our hopes or our will
Could reassign the crystal ball to something more beautiful

Goodbyes are slow and forever vague
I won't say it was all in vain
Only that Cupid
should be ashamed
Onward the battle raged where he stood
deafened by the pounding guns!
Around him comrades lives were taken
every loss the emotions it stuns.
Trapped amongst the running blood
in his eyes the tears flood!

Whichever way he rotated death is close
in the mind trepidation.
Each explosion magnified had to get away
comrades buried in the soil!
More still and silent besides him here
how he missed those so dear.

Day after day facing the same pointless hell
forgotten soldiers just statistics.
Who would become another long lost story
on official forms a few ticks.
Honoured with posthumous medals and grief
lives blown away like the autumn leaf.

Wanting to escape from purgatory to heaven
compelled to find the route.
Voices telling him to seek his lost sanity
his rifle never more to shoot.
Knowing he'd be a deserter to the crown
forcibly being brought down!

Dragged before a court martial for treason
no mercy for a shell shocked soldier!
Mentally scared by the brutality of war
a young man not getting older.
Not killed by the barrage of enemy gunfire
but firing squad he'd expire!

Classed then as a deserters not victims of the great war
never seeing their families any more!

The Foureyed Poet
A soldier in the first world war. Traumatised by the conflict could take no more! Thought of as a coward and deserter and shot! The Foureyerd Poet

— The End —