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Luna Rockwell Dec 2014
I'm hearing these alien words that terrify me.
Terminal, seroconvert, infection, inconclusive, possibility.
They say stay strong, keep your chin up.
They don't understand just the possibility is enough.
Who wants a woman you can't take to bed?
Who wants to fear when I bled?
Alien words, alien feelings, foreign bodies inside and out of me.
But don't worry, they say.
It's controllable, a pill a day.
Pills. That's what they give me.
For the depression, the infection, the anxiety.
I feel as helpless as the child I will never bare.
"What the hell is going on" I blare.
Testing, testing, testing they say.
As I ***** to cope and my legs give way.
Fragility, infertility, susceptibility.
But don't worry, it's all just a possibility.
SG Holter May 2014
Few can pronounce it
Unless Scandinavian.
The r's are all rolling,
And the letters all sound...
More or less not as
In English.
Just let it go, it's a 'twister,
I know.

My names are all old-norse,
Not modern Norwegian.
(Viking-speak sounded
More close to Icelandic).
Sverre means "spin like an arrow",
Expression for being untamed; un-
Controllable; wild-man.
G is for Guttorm: "Where Gods
Seek Shelter"; a fortress for those
One thought needed one least.
Holter means "edge of the woods";
The end of the forest (or where it
Begins).

The Wildman Where the
Gods Seek Shelter at the
Edge of the Woods.


My friends call me Sverre.
It is a name I've shared with
Swordbearing kings.
I am equally proud
When addressed.
Alexander K Opicho
(Eldoret,Kenya;aopicho@yahoo.com)
This essay is based on the observation research that had been carried out  by a social research firm in  Eldoret, Kenya, in the preceding six moths, which has been concluded on 30th January 2014.I the writer of this essay was among the lead team that carried out this study.We unobtrusively observed two thousand University graduates from east African states of Kenya,Uganda,Tanzania,Rwanda,Ethiopia,Sudan,and Burundi plus a few form some parts of Congo .Our target population of two thousand graduates was used under the guiding assumptions that it would help the study to arrive at water tight social conclusions.Our problem of focus was that ;why are male graduates in east Africa not marrying fellow graduates but instead go for marital partners who have substantially lower education qualification and even academic achievement.
The conditions of serendipity was also encountered and taken care of , when we also deviated from the natural social settings and charted with our digital social media friends who were approximately two thousand as well.They were digital social friends from Facebook and twitter digital social platforms. We  posted a thread in question form that ; if you were marrying today , would you marry a girl you graduated with the same year? Eighty percent of the responses to this thread was no , only twenty percent was yes.
The actual situations in an empirical experience is that male graduates prefer marrying ladies who stopped schooling in high school,and male high school or diploma college graduates prefer marrying ladies who don’t have clear high school education.And male primary school leavers prefer marrying ladies with inferior social positions like those who come from poorer families or from different tribal communities that are geographically, economically or culturally disadvantaged.
And in case where a male graduate dares to marry a fellow graduate , the dominantly observed social behaviour in this juncture is that ; the boy will go for the girl in a different school or faculty that is perceived to be inferior within the university academic climate.Like a student of medicine or law will go for a girl doing education or any University course perceived to be inferior.But the observation  produces insignificant cases of where a medicine student daring to marry a fellow medicine student.The minor cases of where a medicine student dares to marry a fellow medic will only take place in a social fabric that the male student at fifth year level will go for a girl in first year.Still there is a social tilt.
When we asked for reasons in a non-obtrusive manner from our unsuspecting respondents.We got both positive reasons and negative reasons.The positive reasons our respondents gave are that in most cases girls who don’t make it to the university happen to be more beautiful or their physique is more sexually appealling than those ladies who make it to the university.when we projected this type of reasoning , we also found that ladies who are in schools like education,journalism or any other school perceived  inferior in the cultures of the University are again more beautiful and more socially enticing than the girls doing University courses like law ,medicine or engineering.One of the respondents made a socially outlying remark by saying that girls at the polytechnic or certificate colleges are usually light in the skin,**** in character and blessed with big or pronounced bossoms than ladies at the university.
When we asked the negative reasons , our respondents argued that  ladies from the university are not controllable,neither are they prepared to be controlled come even the marriage. Further argument for these behaviour by male  graduates is that the University ladies are sexually exhausted,As they usually stay with a man in the hostel or in the cube during the four or the five years of their live at the University. Some even live with different men interchangeably, after which they divorce those many on the graduation day.Another response is that University ladies have a proclivity towards social hangout behaviours like smoking ,pinching or revving in the wine spree and loving the pocket but not the owner of the pocket.
This social phenomenon have imperative concerns that there is high level of genetic mismatch through marriages in east Africa or any other part of the world which east Africa can be socially generalizable to in such particular socialization.Graduate ladies are often forced to marry as second wives , or marry non graduate husbands or stay as a single mother but playing a mistress somewhere, a social behviour described as mpango wa kando or chips funga in the the east African Kiswahili parlance. Such social encounters have a long term consequences of fettering the genetic potential of the family in terms of  academics.When we conform to a warning by an eminent American psychologist that ; ninety percent of academic brilliance is contained in the genes but not influenced by environment we then obviously concur with the findings of this study that if a graduate marries a graduate there is a guarantee for academic performance among the offspring , but where a graduate marries  a non graduate ,  academic performance among the offspring is either mediocrous or probabilistic.The findings of this study also fall in technical tune and intellectual tandem with the observations of Lee Kuan Yeow in his book; From the third world to the first world in which he pointed out that; failure by the male graduates from  Universities in Singapore to marry the fellow female graduates was an impeachment to development as the ultimate consequence of these social behaviours is unnecessary inhibition of good genetics at a macroeconomic level.
The conclusive position of this study is that University leaderships in Africa, with a particular focus on east Africa, must inspire new University culture that has a turnaround effect on this behavioural status quo.The reality is that male graduates behave like this out of a dominance syndrome not out of anything technically worthwhile.Kindly , let our graduates change their marriage behaviour so that we can substantially protect our genetic advantages.

References;
Lee Kuan Yeow; From Third World to the First World
Alexander K  Opicho, is a social researcher at Sanctuary Research agencies in Eldoret, Kenya.He is also a lecturer  for Research Methods in Governance.
jimmy tee Feb 2013
Charlie was a leprechaun,
midway born into a family
of thirteen
the scourge of catholic school
daring to shout ‘Thank God’
when the mass was ended
smoking cigarettes
for their illicit thrill,
found himself a summer job
cleaning up the trash
at the town park,
found himself in the background
of a photo of the young cleanup crew
on the cover of the community newspaper
he was flipping off the photographer.
his mom made him wear an ace bandage
that covered his hand
but for his *******
for two weeks
his laughter was un-controllable
A B Perales Jan 2014
I laid there staring
at the insanely
bright and rude
fluorescent light
that
mocked my suffering.
The cold concrete
floor felt
good against
my screaming aches.

My body was
pleading with the
Gods for just a
taste of what
had been taken
away.

My bowels were as
controllable as
a teen aged
beauty.

With a ****
I brought my
burning face
toward the cool
silent cold metal
toilet.
Ugly yellow bile
that only a tired
and tortured
body could
produce
spewed forth.

A moan and a wipe
then a hollow knock
on the graffiti
covered cell door.
"You made bail"
an almost robotic
sounding voice
says.

With a thousand tiny
swordsman stabbing
at my face I
managed to smile
into my own bile.
I looked at the
mustached uncaring
face in the
small window.
"You look like Death Pal"
The mustache says to me.

I spit the acrid taste
of day old *****
and ****** resin.
Then rise and run my
sweaty palm through
my hair in an
attempt at looking
presentable.

The mustache opens
the door and
as I walk out
I look directly at the
rogue hairs
protruding from
the mustaches nostrils
and say.
"Death Is Beautiful"

The mustache holds
the door as I walk out.
I'm feeling better already

"Oh Yea well so was my Xwife
look at how much trouble
she still causes me".
The mustache says

Every step
I take down
the institutional colored,
masonic checkered floored
hallway causes
my body
to scream with hope.

I can feel the sweat
roll down my face
but I refuse to let
this mustache
see my suffering.

We stop at the
property window,
I sign a half
of an X where it
says signature.

Then before
I gather up
my belongs
and head
back out into the
night I looked
over at the
mustache and said
"You had a Wife?"
Grace Jordan Dec 2014
Mood stabilizers, they call them, but in some ways, they're more like painkillers for your heart. They numb the feelings so that you don't have the extreme moods you are accustomed to.

When you have a mood disorder, everything you feel is so much more intense, and so much more certainly snowballs out of control. That's most of the problem; the complete lack of control you have over your chaotic emotions.

But then you go to a doctor, and they give you happy little pills called stabilizers to do just as they're told to. Stabilize you. Normalize you.

Funny thing is, even with the little heart painkillers, you'll never be normal. Even if you keep up a fantastically ordinary facade, you will never be ordinary. You will always have those little pills in your pocket telling you that you are not good enough the way you are, that you must change.

Its a double-edged sword, these pills. Because some days you wonder why you can't just be you, why do you need these drugs in your veins, but then you remember the cuts on your arms and the painful nights where you drowned in your own tears and you remember why even you don't think the person you are is acceptable. Get better, Grace, be better, Grace. The words pound in your ears until you forget who you used to be and you are always striving to be something more, something better. You strive until it kills you.

You are stronger, you can beat it, they say.

What if I don't want to beat it, though, just want to have control of it? I never want to feel less than everything, I never want to feel so dull and numb that it kills me more than the pain ever did, I never want to beat myself, I simply want to be me but controllable.

Because right now I'm uncontrollable and that's terrifying.

Painkillers for your heart, numbing you until you can't feel anymore. But sometimes I wonder if I really want to feel numb.

Do I want to be me, or who everyone wants me to be?

One is safer than the other, but which one is really living?

Because all I want is to feel alive, but I don't know whether surviving will entail that.

Painkillers or killer pain.

That is my decision, one I'm not ready to make. Maybe tomorrow, when mania is not so close to my throat.

Maybe tomorrow, because I am far too afraid of today.
Michael W Noland Dec 2012
A toe-tapper with dapper deities dancing amongst my dreams, whilst whispering the seeds of hidden keys

Interloper of the thieves

Charmer of the fleas

A Powerful peon, seceding from the teams

Daring to believe in the sea, swallowing the cities in its grief

Dare to achieve the belief of flight and fly away

Contemplate and fall in over thought

Just do not

Stop

Doing the undo-able

Fate is renewable

Outwardly controllable

In what you think you see in the deplorable hues from the hopeful news of better days, lead astray in satisfaction to the complaints of saint-less ways

I debate creating another other place, and drifting away through space, but hey, maybe its a phase and i'm just late to the show

Last to know your nothings

Im [Spinning]

In place
Revel in space, yet not darkled, still
the **** and span of things that breeds
airlessness; The trees are evenly cut,
and their overgrowth seems like a forethought.
Where I am from, we eat fish with
our bare hands and our furniture, from bodies
of sandalwood, crushed with the scent of
peregrines. The morning makes you conscious
of space, and altogether the height of trees
syncopates to a nauseating stillness. In the awning
hours, leaves punctuate the ground – the cicada
with its machinistic song prowls, spills like
water from a broken vase toppled by me
years younger, raw, agile, deftly windless,
  wounded in love, lovingly wounded,
perhaps if there is a word for it, then let me
have my way, easily fraught with its meaning:
   a casualty. Sometimes the timeworn folks
would light cigarettes underneath the canopy
of a mango tree to banish ants and send them back
  to their queens – roosters in their wrinkled stations
croon in stasis, a song for the somnolent. I become
what the seasons evict. Constancy. Rearing weight
and gravity from nocturne. Tears are communal.
They make us aware of the weight of the Earth.
Somewhere, a funebre stilts through the silence,
and the jangle of little pieces spells out fortuity,
men in huddles mending pain by the sleight of hand,
a toss of a card, spinning in its imaginary axis: fate,
   feigned and fine-tuned to belief that it is controllable,
a variable, or a tabulation marred by frailty. From where
I am from, people stride through the streets naked,
soldering baskets filled with fruits gossamer from the
harvest, children suckling their mothers, the music of sweeping
metastasizes throughout the afternoon, and the same clouds
contort themselves to afford wry proposition: it is a day tender
with wonder, its allure overwrought, its sheen unremarkable.
  The funebre leaves with a necessary abundance of absence.
All the leaves depart from their mothering boughs,
  collapsing on the dreary back of the loam like penitence.
Like how once when you were young, you tinkered with
the fresh scab of your wound and felt the pain confine
  itself there, a part of you, that has now healed, but is still
      available for the world to break once again.
Judy Ponceby Jul 2015
Planets align
Don't malign

Elliptical simplicity
With rhetorical duplicity

Minds engage
While hearts do rage

Beyond the sources
Of controllable forces

Span the continuum
In search of equilibrium.

The Lost are found
Yet questions abound
5 poems in 5 days Challenge, Nominated by Rene Velez
--- Jul 2013
A thought
It could be anything
Cars
Video games
Books
A fun word
It's fun to see where thoughts
Go
If allowed to wander
They usually
Go
To sleep
Go
To perverted matters
They are not
Easily
Controllable
But they can be.
Or at least
I'd guess.
I plan to make
No
Effort to control
This stream of
Emotions
Ideas
Life
Because that ruins the
Fun.
I have a memory that kills me
Like shards of glass sliding through my atrium,
Undetectable until it has ripped an
Irreparable hole in my heart.
His arm is tightened around my neck,
Pressure behind,
Pulling me to him,
My fear thicker than the air I could not breathe.
And then it was over,
Over like the red and sweat of my face
As the oxygen rushed back in.
Therapist says it was not an accident.
In 30 seconds he had tested me.
I was controllable.
Pass or fail
Depends on who you ask.
harlee kae Dec 2014
some days i miss you like an ant bite.
small.
controllable.
i can even overlook it with the right amount of will power.
others, i miss you as if my gallbladder was removed.
big.
painful.
i can continue to live, but i know that something is missing.
Twinkle Sep 2014
Things aren't going right again today
I wish I could close my eyes and pretend
That's everything would be fine soon

But then again, I need to tackle this mess
It threatens to over power me and gain
Do you know that creepy feeling, like all is lost?
Like you can feel dejected and simply sigh!
Or scream your agony out!

Some how that should help,
make things controllable
But it doesn't do a dime!

So I pause and gather my thoughts,
Penning my frustration,
at odds that fly in my path
Some how I attract the worst
I feel like that all the time

Then I close my eyes and think!
No there is worse!
I am not there!
With the worst
I am here with the blest.

I have roof over my head
Clothes to wear
A job that pays
Food on the table and
loved ones to care.

This mess is the selfishness pouring
Out of hearts that have forgotten gratefulness
In its place grows restlessness
To seek and infect and thrive on sadness
Till it devours and make its conquest.

Oh Lord, my frustration is overpowering
If you don't do something soon I'll trip
That's not what I'd want cause I'll feel like a wreck
So I turn my gaze to you and reflect
Ask myself, what did you learn today
Did you get buried in your problems
Or did you look up and pray.

You see, the GREAT TEACHER, is watching
Life's little lessons he sends our way
Chapters on human psychology
Management of Time and Stress
His methods are tough
Not meant for the weak
Only the strong, can pass His test.

He never mean't it to be easy
Cause your are just not anybody
But His special treasure
Which He would like to gather
Richer and purer, after a struggle that's worthy
Of His Kingdom so glorious.
Which I await with a sadness, the longer I tarry!

With this experience firmly noted in my life's book
I shall mark it with gladness, for when again history repeats itself
I shall remember to read this lessons with gratefulness
The GIFT of words He gave, so that I can share.
When again frustration raises it ugly head
Armed with HIS words I'll fight my best.
Often enough life's situations threaten to overpower us and make us loose control. This poem started as a way to pen my frustration, but turned into a lesson that I learnt.  WE CAN NEVER CONTROL ANYTHING. So let go and don't given in.
Annie Nolan May 2015
Me
Long hair
hair that covers my wishfully bony shoulders inconsistently

Inconsistent eyes
eyes that flash here and there, eyes that cover up a part that is unfinished

Unfinished body
body that is easily forgettable

Forgettable laugh
laugh that erupts with annoyance until it goes slow

Slow tongue
tongue that savors and starves and tricks and lies

Lying mind
mind that wants to know minds yet it deceives me; not controllable

Controllable heart
heart that wants to stand strong on something, anything, yet perishes in hibernating

Hibernating sleep
sleep walking through the day, waiting for time to be recycled

Recycled thoughts
thoughts that stick like mud, filling empty cracks and suffocating new birth bitterly

Bitter skin
skin that holds in the creepy crawling stinging

Stinging fear
fear that I cannot and will not be me

Me
YoungGentleman17 Sep 2014
when your writing non-stop
writing the ink out your pens
or leads out your pencils
then i must confess
have you heard of poetic disease
because i think i've been possessed

when your mind has things flowing
and you know it can't stop
i bet it would be hours until the pencil or pen drops

this is not a real disease
but you can catch this mentaly
and once you do
just imagine all the writing your mind will allow you to

image the thoughts that'll run your mind
image the flow that'll control your mind
when i was first possessed i thought i was crazy
my hands moving non-stop it seemed so amazing

i felt so great
my poems were coming back to back
like music i had a un-controllable flow
and thats a moment i ll never let go

for anyone who has had this disease
tell the world your feelings
your experience
was it good bad or great
did you love it or hate
cause i've never witnessed such a disease that allows us to create
RyanMJenkins Jul 2014
Colorfully depressed

   Falling in line with others among the family crest

..Yet,

happy to have something beating in my chest.

We all get perplexed and stressed to the point we don't know what to do next.  But even indecision is a choice - all a part of the test.  

Sifting through the mesh of a life once lived
Contemplating how many years my flesh has yet to give

and so I close my lids

...Sinking deeper into an abyss,
Noticing all I would have otherwise missed.  
The mist cleared & the vessel I now steered
Proved to me I had nothing to fear..
No need to disappear for eye am always here,
a part of everything -
from interpretive memories
to each melody the birds in the morning sing~

We're all certainly uncertain of what the new day shall bring -
but I hope you too avoid the bitter stings
and rest rather comfortably to a beautiful ring

The Queen or King of your own palace, in a land full of equals,
who do all they can now instead of investing in a sequel.
What should be embedded in our heads
is that we're more than just people..
Yet we keep limiting ourselves based on what seems feasible

Why we've grown so disconnected seems so unreasonable

...Still, it's controllable.
Even in moments where we feel inconsolable

Too many blows to the ego ***** walls that enclose the soul.
Put every temporary and enduring pain that is your ball & chain..
On to paper, and let it go.

As it does, you too will fly free,
straight for serenity where you can replenish your dreams.
If you're hurt looking back on the past,
Don't bask, for this too shall pass.
You can never be sure how long the moment will last..
But true bliss exists beyond the realm of time and space -
Anchors holding our mind,
Floating only in this place -within the mindframe of splintered windowpanes where you came to play the game only to find the pains all hurt the same.

Let me explain,*
Don't refrain, because at the end of that insane train
I'll be standing in a white light,
with lips forming your name.
Astral projecting, hand in hand, our gaze fixed on a new plane
away from the mundane,
to show you infinite new colors, so we can create.
The universe was, and always will be our canvas, let's paint~
Joshua Haines Oct 2017
No doorknobs exist on this floor.
I can't find any outlets.
The belt that lady--I didn't mean to
disappoint--bought me is coiled,
surrounded by Tupperware walls.
A nurse checked herself in. No
affect; asking for charge; reset.
I'm twenty and letting down my dad.
My belt used to live at JC Penny
and has navy-outlined bass on it.
One of the counselors is black,
from Africa, was adopted, moved
here to be raised by two JP Morgan
lifers, played collegiate soccer, married,
got pregnant, lost the boy--which he said
he had a feeling it would have been.
So, he can relate.
No doorknobs exist on this floor.
I am twenty and this exists in the past.
Wheeling in due to an inability to walk
--totally her brain's fault; a real former-
controllable, current-uncontrollable thing
that her mind pulled on her, on account
from the cold, Vaseline touch of a relative
--this redheaded girl pretends to smile
before apologizing for pretending to smile.
Our black counselor, former soccer player
and father says to not apologize and that
we are all pretending, all the time, even
when we don't think we are.
I find this strangely comforting.
Hadrian Veska Apr 2017
Neon lights reflect again and again,
In the puddles and streams
As the rain pours heavy
In that unfinished city.

Great Jupiter blots out the sky;
So imminent, yet silent.
Ever watching the endless construction;
Of its infant moons

Ganymede is all but consumed
In towers and scaffolds,
Endless looping highways,
And defunct machinery.

In the eyes of Jupiter
Has it been but a moment,
But to the denizens of that place,
Their reign is endless.

Their ancient cities and facilities
Devour everything in their path
And in that slow process,
Have become a new entity all together.

One not entirely controllable.
A system and network of its own
That desires something beyond sight,
Something its creators lost long ago.
manicsurvival Oct 2013
Stop it with the temper tantrums and "poor me"s
Stop victimizing yourself because you are the one hurting yourself
Mistakes are understandable and two-time mistakes are fine
But Jesus ******* Christ
You do this all the time
It's stupid and irrational and self destructive
It hurts me to see you in pain but I have pains of my own
Pains that aren't controllable
I.e. A parent with cancer
Yet your pain stems from the continual decision to smoke **** and get too high
You say you're embarrassed and you should be
You can't control the sad environment around you
But  you can control how you respond to it
So stop responding this way because we're all fed up with the *******
You need help -- Literally
You need a therapist and a psychiatrist
Hell! If I had a prescription pad, I'd put you on a high dose of prozac
And sort out those daddy issues of yours
You are a genuinely good, kind person
But your life is going nowhere because you're too caught up in your cruel past
I hate to say this, but get over it
Because things will not fall into place unless you make an effort to fix your disposition
Sarah Sep 2015
I see now
what they say
how love
smacks you
in the face

like an inevitable
falling leaf
or
how the moon
pulls at the
waves

love is un-
controllable
and can't be
cut away
and only
grows
incessantly with
your
every embrace
Lottie Sep 2015
At the eye of the storm, my mind is clear,
But zooming out, you can see that the farther
Things get from this pin ***** of perfection,
The more fragile and damageable it all gets.
Everything; big and small and imperfect.

This clutter is controllable though,
If you know how.
*I think.
Amethyst Fyre Feb 2017
I'd always thought I had more self respect
Than to let someone touch me when I didn't want them to
But I realize now it's not really about self-respect
Not with who I am right now
Because when you're not living for yourself-
Or, let me rephrase that,
You care for other people, so you haven't killed yourself-
You get out of practice with saying what you want
No matter whether you love who you are or not

I want you to stop touching me, it's starting to bother me, to eat away at my happiness before I sleep at night

Some part of me is still the princess
It's how I survive the dark, I play the ultimate innocent part
Trying to be perfect, polite, and kind
I don't want to make you feel bad or apologize
Self-sacrificing
Controllable

It comes down to how controllable I can be
Whether I can make the words fall off my tongue, for myself
Or whether I will bite them off before they begin, for you

*Life for yourself, as quick as you can
It only gets harder the farther away you get
Death Haunts

Death haunts me like a shadow
an excuse of sorts that jars my thoughts
always captures me unawares
Between the sheets of ghosts and the linen of things.
not that it matters I suppose we all have our day
that marked territory of Hades and Shoals
Those gateways that the boat somehow crosses between,
These are the images that bind us and **** us
Taking our last image and rendering it null and void
placing a memory of persona upon another's thought patterns
And leaving us bare to the cold and empty Hollows of death.
We can't do a ****** thing about it
amazing how we live this life trying to control all our horizons
Then to hit that final brick wall where nothing is controllable,
Nothing fits, just the silence wins the day, the hour, that moment.
Just like that second prior to conception, I wonder.

Alisdaire O'Caoimph
Wanderer Apr 2013
Quiet
Only my heart beat in the space occupied
With the heavy weight of shadows
Soft, gentle rush and hum
Of a potential tragedy
This is not the first time
Subtle clues as to how and why linger just on the edge of my once controllable perception
Pipe the **** down!
Too many voices in here
Concentration a mere past time
Untouchable
Sharp and acrid my fingers taste of indigo ink
As I **** softly at their habitually stained tips
Punctuated only by black coffee my diet is sparse
Like so many things, desire for even the most basic functions is lack luster at best
Where have you gone?
Did you mean to take my sanity with you?
My ability to pull it together more natural than forced
Although I cannot say the same for my smile
Tomorrow I may switch to bitter tea
Soak up some sun
Do my best.
But today, today I'll enjoy the clouds.
It cannot rain all the time but when it does, dance in it.
Scott T Sep 2014
I don’t know about those pastoral scenes
Those bucolic and primordial endless greens
Unspoilt trees and murmuring streams
I know the concrete and the pavement
Uneven cobblestones with cracks in them
With dandelions growing through
Only sometimes

I love the later more
I’m in love with the concrete behemoths
The back alleys of life
The gnarled bouncers (unreciprocally)
The curious glimpses at weathered flyers on the floor
I love the sterile street lights and the worn faces ILLUMINATED by them
The ushers and hustlers and cautious taxis
The drunk geniuses
The night-swimmers
The nudists
The opinionated
Etc

Yet life whittles down these loves for that of the
Calculable
The
Regimented
And
Controllable
Etc
Tessa Tomlin Oct 2011
Every one in this house
is always sleeping soundly
at this hour
but me

I shovel drugs and drinks
inside my now dry mouth
and they poke at my brain
who says
“spit it all out”

I close my eyes and mimic
the dark and the quiet
at this hour
but I

Can suddenly hear a party
that exists five cities over
and the people
they’re real
but they sound
like a radio
and I open my eyes
and the party is over
and the static is gone

Then I start to hum a song
to soothe my mind with
a familiar sound
something real
controllable

Everyone in this house
is always sleeping soundly
at this hour
but me

By now I’m out
of drugs and drinks
and I’m left with
thoughts and thinks
and I hear footsteps
Cailey Weaver Feb 2016
Almost everything in life is controllable, except for time.
It’s something that is endless, never pausing for a moment to wait for you to catch up.

It’s something we are all victims of.
It’s what gives us life and it brings our own demise closer and closer every day.

Destruction is a result of human existence through time.
None of us want this to end; and anyone would admit to wanting the ability to hit pause and freeze time itself.

Time is unstoppable.
It’s something that brings us all down to size.

No matter our age, gender, race, or religion, not one of us can halt time.
Some, however, can create the illusion of time standing still. Closing your eyes, and letting everything disappear.

Take my hand.
Don’t let the time go by.
Don’t let me lose control.

Never fear.
It’s only time.
Frank Key Feb 2015
I'm trying to build a window.
These aren't metaphors.
I'm not calling some empty headed person,
A beautiful vase with nothing to fill it.
I'm trying to say exactly what I see.
Rhymes, alliteration, technique are
Accidents.
These words just spew. I can't
Stop my hand
It's like a dull knife in the middle
Of butchering an animal.
It's barely controllable.
God knows if it'll go up or out,
If soon it'll cut me.
I like all this madness of action though.
It's almost a sport. Your heart
Doesn't race
But your head vibrates like it is.
You quiver and struggle to
Plan faster than instinct.
But are constantly reminded
That the whims of nature
Are so very out of your hands. Like this pen
Rai Dec 2012
What is your concept of broken
A man's mind can become fragmented
Sometimes one glimpes the illusion we live in
Only to retreat into the blindness
They find comfortable
Controllable
I have lived with many a broken man
But they taught me well
I found my strength
I realised
That though we seem torn apart
Broken hearts bleeding for comfort
We are all just where we are ment to be
Manifestations of our inner worlds
Tears fall
Skin is cut
Suicide brings comfort
A soul spurs towards the light
As unbroken
As the day it stepped upon this earth
jimmy tee Apr 2014
an obsession defined is no obsession at all
strong, barely controllable, passion, when it rules
is invisible to the

when the storm passes
you are seeing the earth in the process of balance
the storms are not blotches of color on a screen
they do not follow dotted lines or spiked curves
they are living breathing churning of equipoise
and a universe strongly influenced by entropy
balance being a continuous give and take
in both large and small doses

you are truly alive only when you are young

the effects of todays spring thaw
will be felt tomorrow in the lower Lamoille
there seems to be room for more river
between the bank
the machines will increase flow
both upstream and down in a balance of volume

and it has been noticed that birds
prepare of the cold of the night
by roosting in pines facing the direction
of the morning sun
Kelly May 2015
I know you never wanted
to breed an addict,
it's just one of those
uncontrollable risks that
accompanies parenting.

Or was it controllable?

I remember, as far back as
ten years old, you cursing freely
while I was in the room;
never directed at me though,
thank God.

You told me once, when I was twelve,
a playful smile on your face as you
gripped the steering wheel at 10 and 2,
that you wouldn't be surprised if I
became just as foul-mouthed as you.

Well gee, I wouldn't even utter
the word "God" for a year after that conversation.

But then the teen years hit,
those dastardly years of
storm and stress...
and rebellion.

That's where my addiction began,
in the midst of middle school.
What started out as a rebellious experiment
has quickly spiraled into
an uncontrollable addiction.

Oh, Mother;
we share the same looks, same jokes,
hell, even the same gender--
now add another commonality to our list:
the mouth of a sailor.
Been hit by a serious bout of writer's block lately, idk how I feel about this one
lil May 2020
pink and purple paint my eyelids
glitter touches the corner

i go to the bathroom
stand and take a photo
trying to be beautiful
for people who are not worth it

overcompensating
trying to find the feelings
that i haven't felt for nine weeks

— The End —