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 Aug 2016 Honna Root
WickedHope
Look at me
My skin
Has dealt with a lot


                         I have lived through
                         Tumors and attacks
                         Cuts and bruises from me
                         Bruises from him


My poor skin
In the end
This damage is
All for naught
Because


                            *"Scars are only **** on guys..."
I don't know whether to hate myself or you more right now.
Everything is so confusing I could cry.
She was one in a million;
the moon filling up the night sky.
She'd lit up the whole world for his passing by.
He'll look up on those cold winter nights,
and her glow is amongst the most beautiful sights.
His moonlight maiden has a hold over his heart,
and with it, he feels they will never be apart.

He was one in a million;
just another star.
He lights up the night, but he's so very far.
Some evenings she finds her way without him,
because the light he offers her is so dim.
There are many more men among the skyline,
and if they’re hidden behind clouds, that's just fine;
because stars have no sway over the shine of the sun,
which will forever be her only one.
This heart beats a miserable mythos
Daring death to bleed from my pried pithos
And you can still feel her aura
When the all-giving Pandora
Pulled out my chest and asked
How much of man is masked
Passed her teary eyed mist
She found this box with a list

Sand, clean, prep, and paint
This home with no complaint
Take care to love each other
Both your brothers and your mother
I am alone, so alone
In this prison of a home
Leave this layer to never dry
Just listen to my goodbye
Don’t look for blame
From an open flame
Left beside this pound of paint
Hoping to incinerate this taint
This is the end
For me my friend
Respect my choice
And please rejoice
Life is a wonderful adventure
Some, missing that sweet splendor
A burning ready for the blow
To put me out, to let me go

Despite all the talks, all the locks
She’s opened up Pandora’s Box
And let his evils out
Fear, shame, sorrow, and doubt
Their freedom found, they’re unconfined
Exposed a weakened man’s mind
No sun should have to see this depravity
Hidden captive in his heart’s dark cavity
I'm everywhere but here
Counting back each year
Madness from memory
And you will find me
In moments of joy and pain
Between the past and insane
Heart beating, day dreaming
The world gone, I am seeing
A life lived without you there
My dream, a living nightmare
A picture perfect portrait set in place
A time long gone that I cannot face
This love that's passed, that didn't last
Dreams, memories of a failed past

Yet you're everywhere but here
Travelling a future fueled by fear
This post apocalyptic love story
A bleeding heart's memento mori
Breathe in your newfound deity
Our air, laced with anxiety
Leaves you with no way to scream
Rose-coloured glasses in the ashes of a dream
Taking chase to the world's end
In search of that one perfect friend
No more pain, no more lies
Not when you find his soft eyes
So beautiful your soul boasts
Illusions of kaleidoscoped ghosts
A future failing to ever form
Like how lightning predicts the storm
Perfection passed your pretty glance
Trapped in time's terrifying trance

Maybe we were meant to be
But we will never get to see
Life lost loving a little lie
So we just passed each other by
I loved where I have come from
While you lived in days to come
Never had we considered the present
To find peace from of our life's lament
Am I crazy?
Past all hazy.
My memory being lazy.
Is everything so black and white,
the difference between wrong or right.

You're a test of my sanity,
between dreams and reality.
I see butterfly wings,
rain clouds in may and other things.
The longer I stare, the further I tear.
You're here,
you're there,
you're everywhere.
Every blotch of ink makes me sink.
Every page of paper, another link.
Your smile,
your wink,
my addictive drink.
Bring me to the brink of insanity before I blink and I'm left inside my head to think.
He lives through me.
He speaks to me.
He is a part of me.

He is on a different plane, whispering thoughts into my head.

They don't need me.
I don't belong here.
I am wrong, and
I long to be corrected.

He pushes these things onto me and I understand because it is Him.
His wishes and His desires must be met on a whim.
When my light shines too bright, He persuades the world to dim.

For every breath I take, He is the exhale; strangling me passively.
His whispers are the knife pushed up against my life.
Every word, a concluding phrase;
I LOVE YOU,
I LOVE YOU,
good-bye.
Completely unsatisfied until I've heard Him and have died.

He holds my hand gently, and pulls me down hard.
Guides me towards that beautiful, shining light;
The 4:08 train.

The Devil knows my name, and with it feeds me shame.
As the light begins to leave my eyes, I know that I have lived through lies.
All the words and evil things He said, were steps in every move He's led.
As I danced with the Devil inside my head, I knew that all I've loved was dread.

I can't tell if I am dreaming,
or if I'm already dead.
Where does love come from?

Can I see it? Can I touch it? If I lose it, where does it go?
If I have it, if I feel it, if it's real, how does it show?

If love is real, please tell me how I can make you see it.
That this feeling is the first that finally makes me feel like I fit.
Into this perfect world where I am safe from all the world's ****.
Can I show you love with rhymes and words that express wit.
Because I'm falling, and I keep falling, into love's bottomless pit.

Is love the blood rushing to my cheeks when our eyes meet?
Could love be the drive that causes my heart to beat?
Am I in love just because I am feeling this fiery heat?
Overwhelming what you do to me, without ever leaving your seat.

Love is fleeting, for it is blind.
and although it's slipping you will find,
that love will never be left behind.
It lives in you, not in your mind,
but with your soul in a bind.

Would you see my soul if I said that I loved you?
That you took my world and all that I knew
and you showed me what's false, what's true.
That the question I was looking for was what and not who?
I have been discovering what love is for the past few months thanks to an amazing person. This poem was just an attempt for me to write an answer to the many, many questions I have about the feeling of love.
My heart feels heavy,
And then it feels light.
My world is turning to the left,
And then it turns to the right.

One day I’ll be happy,
And then I’ll be sad.
Like waking up sane,
And going to bed mad.

This has to be a joke,
Or some kind of trick;
As to why I can’t relax.
I think I might be lovesick.

The world stands still
When I look in your eyes.
Eventually it’ll spin again
When we say our goodbyes.

Burning brighter than ever,
You’re the fire to my wick;
Melting me away,
I think I might be lovesick.

I’m on top of the world,
But I am falling fast.
Closer and closer to you,
But I’ll speed right past.

My heart stops for you,
Like a bomb that fails to tick.
Send me to the infirmary
Because I think I’m lovesick.

I've been to every doctor,
And they've ran every test,
Still they don’t know what
Is going on in my chest.

They say its racing back and forth,
To one pace, it won’t stick.
They say I’m losing control
Because I am lovesick.
Like the blowing breeze through nestled trees, he walks through life, dirt on his knees. A boy, now a man, finally learned how to stand, and now he flees through this forest of dreams. Alone he must walk, until he finally sees, there is no home outside these trees.

A flower, picked up off the floor, reminds him of what she once wore. She was his core, his lost Lenore, who up and left right out their door, and like this flower, plucked from the floor, she would be lost forevermore.

As he keeps on through these dying trees, he steps on their rustled leaves. Each step echoes pain and agony, unified in a bitter sweet melody. She's gone, you pushed her, what you step on, was once her.

The cold draws breath that only he can see, illusions of what was, and what could be. He carries on with a heart well led, and although he is lost, he is not quite dead. Inside his head, a demon once fed, is the reason for what he once said, "be careful where you tread, for a man made of lead cannot be made to wed". With tears in her eyes, away she fled from this man who bled blue blood. Behind masks of frosted pain, he lifts his eyes and through his breath's cold lies, he sees his love once again.

In a floral dress she dances alone. Entranced by every sway and prance, his heart joins her in leaps and bounds. Captured by her sweet, sweet sounds, he can't believe what he's just found. A second chance to love what's lost, like how the sun gently lifts the frost from the ground. The earth does come back, full round again. He has come back to her as a friend, and he will love her until the very end.
If you were dead or still alive,
living happy or torn apart;
to me, nothing really matters.
You left my body, stole my heart.

The one you lent to me
wouldn't give me blood,
wouldn't dam these thoughts,
couldn't stop this flood.

Thoughts and feelings of you
I figured I had forgot,
Brought back from a poke
That felt more like a shot.

The noiseless beating of a heart
that I knew was never there,
drove my mind so **** apart
trying to find out what is fair

This wooden curse you've given me
will not beat or let me breathe.
I must free my life from you,
with everything that we've been through.
Live my life without a heart.
Let things go back to the start.

I threw it back into nature,
where it should forever be;
In the hopes this borrowed heart
would someday grow into a tree.

And when that tree reaches up
and it grabs hold of the sky,
I'll ******* chop that ***** down,
watch it suffer there and die.
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