I feel like I am shattered glass                                                            ­                            
                                    ­                                                                 ­   
Splintered, broken, still intact                                                           ­           
                                                                ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                                               
Held together with resilience                                                       ­           
                                                     ­                                                                 ­     Straight forward no nonsense                                                         ­           
                                                                ­                                                      
You tell me I am too serious                                                          ­            
                                                    ­                                                                 ­ 
you don't understand any of this                                                             ­                                 
                               ­                                                                 ­                      
If you walked a mile in my shoes                                                            ­                  
                                                                ­                                                
then you would be somebody who                                              
               ­                                                                 ­                            
trusted in people & was hurt in return                                                        
  ­                                                                 ­                                               
was fed to the fire, charred & burned                                                           ­ 
                                                               ­                                                    
 who put their faith into backstabbing *******                                                    
                                                                ­                                                
held together with a thousand stitches                                                         ­   
                                                             ­                                             
walking wounded casualties of war                                                              ­        
                                                        ­                                                        
what are you judging me for?                                                             ­     
                                                           ­                                                           
I am a survivor despite my pain                                                             ­       
                                                                ­                                                        
  who's learned to never trust again                                                            ­                            
                                    ­                                                                 ­         
  Don't look at me as injured & flawed                                        
                                                                ­                                            
  despite the odds, I have stood tall

Sixteen years ago, on this same date                                                                      ­                                                    
 I was in such a different headspace                                                        ­              
                                                  ­                                                          
Hopele­ss & thought that nobody cared                                                            ­    
                                                                ­                                                        
I convinced myself to not be scared                                                           ­     
                                                           ­                                                               
I gathered up all the medications                                                      ­                
                                                                ­                                                  
More than enough for relaxation                                                       ­                     
                                                                ­                                                    
Laid down on the couch like I had                                                              ­  
                                                                ­                                                           always done before when I felt bad                                                      
       ­                                                                 ­                                              
I had spent so much time lately                                                  
        ­                                                                 ­                               
Planning & plotting ******* me                                                               ­ 
                                                               ­                                                 
  That night I couldn't take it anymore,                                                         ­ 
                                                               ­                                                       
  I had pain inside of my inner core                                                            
                                                                ­                                                      
I put my faith in the whole amount,                                                          ­        
                                                        ­                                                              
A handful of courage, I drank them down                                                    
        ­                                                                 ­                                           
All of this dialogue in my head                                                             ­ 
                                                                ­                                                     
   would soon be silenced, would be dead                                                          
  ­                                                                 ­                                               
But God had other plans for me                                                               ­                                                                 ­                        
                                        ­                                                                 ­       
  sent an angel and his mercy                                                            ­              
                                                                ­                                                
Now I am feeling so differently,                                                     ­               
                                                                ­                                                      
I thank God for loving me

I know I was drawn to coming here                                                             ­                                               
to a dark room with a mind to
clear                                                            ­                                                  
                                                                ­                                                      
I need some time to think about me                                                               ­                                            
                                                                 ­                                              
And find out what my life needs to be                                                               ­                                                          
 I have a habit of blaming myself                                                           ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                             
    Give all my love to everyone else                                                             ­                                                
   So, what I have been repressing                                                                  ­                                                
Has bubbled up & effervescing                                                     ­                                         
A hard battle that I have to win                                                              ­                  
                                                                ­                                                  
   Am I worthy of self-forgiving?                                                                     ­                                                 
    It's time to let all the past go   
                                                                ­                                               
Less ebb & much more flow

Get your knee off of my neck                                                             ­                                                                 ­                
Take your foot off of my chest                                                            ­                
 You used to say I was the best                                                             ­               
You fill my heart up with regret                                                          
­                                                                 ­                                                 
You build me up to bring me down                                                             ­                                                
I do better when you're not around                                                           ­       
                                                         ­                                                             
You want me 6 feet underground                                                      ­                          
                                      ­                                                                 ­           
Prefer me not to make a sound                                                            ­                          
                                                                ­                                                    
At one time, those big dark eyes,                                                            ­                                                          
      ­                                                                 ­                                       
made me feel safe inside                                                           ­                   
                                                                ­                                                  
but there was hatred brewing there                                                
           ­                                                                 ­                              
  exposed by your cold, blank stares                                                           ­           
                                                     ­                                                             
  Y­ou are not who you used to be                                        
                                                                ­                                  
  Sometimes, I think you'll **** me                                                               ­                 
                                               ­                                                                 ­      
I think you have a monster inside                                                           ­   
                                                                ­                                                
That you wish you could still hide                                                             ­                                         
                       ­                                                                 ­                              
I no longer feel love for you                                                              ­                                                                 ­         
                                                                ­                                                      
  I only stay because of what you'll do                                                               ­                                                                 ­                          
                                      ­                                                                 ­           
  I'm too scared to run away                                                             ­           
                                                     ­                                                                 ­
I know that will fan the flames                                                           ­ 
                                                               ­                                                   
The thrill of the hunt in you                                                              ­                                                                 ­                 
                                                                ­                                                
will give you any **** excuse                                                           ­           
                                                                ­                                                    
  To give me what you think I need                                                             ­                                                                 ­
  A lesson you're sure that I'll heed

I gave you my best                                                             ­                                       
                                                                ­                                                      
but it wasn't enough                                                           ­                                           
                                                                ­                                                      
You wanted the rest,                                                            ­                        
                                        ­                                                                 ­               
   all-consuming
love                                                             ­                                     
                           ­                                                                 ­                      
Gave you control,                                                         ­                                     
                                                                ­                                                        
so, there'd be peace                                                            ­                      
                                          ­                                                            
Relinquish the
hold,                                                            ­                              
                                  ­                                                                 ­               
that you have on
me                                                               ­                         
                                                                ­                                          
  A prisoner of
love,                                                           ­                                                     
           ­                                                                 ­                                            
I am breaking
free                                                             ­                           
                                                                ­                                                  
like a gray dove,                                                            ­                                                                 ­       
                                                                ­                                               
  please release
me                                                               ­                                     
                                                                ­                                                
Take off the
confines,                                                        ­                            
                                    ­                                                                 ­             
the shackles & the
chains                                                           ­                   
                                                                ­                                                
after all this
time                                                             ­                                         
                                                                ­                                                
only hate remains

I call you up to hear your voice                                                            ­                                                  
I know it's lame; I have no choice                                                    
   Now what am I supposed to do?                                                              ­                                              
   It's all that I have left of you                                                              ­                                                   
 I know that it has been years                                                            ­                                                  
  But despite crying many tears                                                            ­                                                  
  They've never stopped or healed                                                           ­                                           
  My broken heart & how it feels                                                            ­                                                  
  Since the day you didn't come home                                                             ­                                                
  I 've left your voicemail on the phone                                                            ­                                                                 ­       
Your things are how they were left                                                             ­                                                     
I haven't changed anything yet                                                              ­                                                   
    I just can't bring myself around                                                           ­                                               
 To the fact that you're in the ground                                                           ­                                       
Because I can feel you here with me                                                               ­                                              
 Exactly where I need you to be                                                               ­                                                     
   I have all the pictures you made                                                             ­                                                 
Been on the frig since second grade                                                            ­                                                  
   It's like you never went away                                                             ­                                           
  And I need it to stay that way                                                              ­                                         
 Your clothing still smells like you                                                              ­                                                   
I can't even clean your room                                                             ­                                                 
    I open the window each day                                                              ­                                               
 So, you can come in & play                                                             ­                                                 
  I still long to see your face                                                             ­                                                  
 I wish I could take your place                                                            ­                                              
  So young & carefree of heart                                                            ­                                                
Your passing tore me apart                                                            ­                                                
                                                                ­                                                    
It's something I can't accept                                                                      ­                                         Perhaps until my own death

Broken glass on the floor,                                                           ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­        
  holes punched through the door,                                                            ­                
                                                                ­                                                        
                                                                ­                                                    
all say I love you & more                                                             ­               
                                                                ­                                                        
to those who've been there before                                                           ­               
                                                 ­                                                             
Pictures out of the frames,                                                          ­          
                                                      ­                                                            
piled up ready for the flames                                                           ­             
                                                                ­                                                              Curse words & then your name                                                             ­     
                                                                ­                                                        
all in efforts to assign blame                                                            ­            
                                                    ­                                                              
Cell phones with cracked screens,                                                         ­   
                                                                ­                                              
police called to a domestic scene                                                            ­            
                                                    ­                                                    
Bleached clothes strewn in the tub                                                              ­    
                                                                ­                                                  
   all this has to be true love                                                             ­ 
                                                               ­                                             
Ripped clothes thrown on the floor                                                            ­            
                                                                ­                                              
along with your heart & more                                                             ­   
                                                                ­                                                  
All of this drama, what's it for?                                                             ­             
                                                   ­                                                             
This isn't love, it's settling a score

How quickly life passes us by                                                         
  That we often don't enjoy the ride                                                        
   Always wishing our days away                                                            
   Like we are assured another day                                                    
  Days turn into months, then
  years                                                         ­                         
And just like that we disappear                                                    
While loved ones go through all our stuff                           
Holding onto trinkets we held dear  by us      
Every once in a while, our name comes up                                         
A memory , a life , a loss of love.

Pull my tongue out of my mouth,                                                           ­           
                                                     ­                                                                 ­
  use a spoon & hollow me out,                                                             ­   
                                                             ­                                                       
  take off a chunk of my skin,                                                            ­              
                                                  ­                                                                 ­     
  it's okay, there's life within                                                           ­           
                                                     ­                                                             
Pluck my eyes from my face,                                                            ­                                                  
I don't want to see the human race,                                                    
                                                                ­                                              
remove my fingers from my hand,                                                      
                                                                ­                                                      
you don't need to understand                                                       ­                           
                                                                ­                                                 
 Cut my heart from my chest,                                                           ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­          
I guarantee I won't contest                                                          ­                        
                                        ­                                                                 ­         
Go ahead & pick my brain,                                                           ­         
                                                                ­                                                  
you will see nothing
remains,                                                         ­                     
                                                                ­                                                  
Go ahead, you will see,                                                             ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­    
you will find an empty me

Day in and day out,                                                             ­                                 
                               ­                                                                 ­                      
feet shuffle, heads down                                                             ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­        
Take your eyes off the ground,                                                          ­                                      
                                                                ­                                                    
look & take in the sounds                                                           ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­          
Life if going to pass you by,                                                              ­                    
                                                                ­                                                          
if you don't soon realize                                                          ­              
                                                  ­                                                            
Nighttime lights off,                                                             ­                 
                                               ­                                                                 ­
your body's had too much                                                             ­                   
                                             ­                                                         
Tomorrow is another day,                                                             ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­    
don't sleep your life away                                                             ­                               
                                 ­                                                                 ­                    
Get up without delay                                                            ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­        
  and start another great day

You can burn this book                                                                        ­                                            
Watch it die in the flames                                                           ­                                                 
                                                                ­                                              
  Every word that is in it                                                               ­                                                   
                                                                ­                                              
Won't make anything okay                                                                        ­                                                   
It's all about you & I                                                                       ­                                                      
                                                                ­                                                
How much I sacrificed                           
                                                                                          ­                             
It's about a man who cheats                                                                      ­                                             
When caught, he tells lies                                                                      ­                                                     
A story about a broken heart                                                                     ­                                                
  That once had a loving start                                                                        ­                                                      
 It questions why we're here                                                                  ­                                                    
Why these roads were never cleared                                                                   ­                                                      
I read it whenever I think that I                                                                    ­                                             
Want to give us another try

Like a tape player on rewind,                                                          ­              
                                                                ­                                                      
          ­                                                                 ­                                           
 I see it all clearly in  my mind,                                                     ­                             
                                                                ­                                          
memories flash before aged eyes                                                             ­             
                                                   ­                                                                 ­    
                                                                ­                                                    
of the things I lived before I die,                                                             ­     
                                                                ­                                                        
  I see my children, small & frail,                                                           ­           
                                                                ­                                    
acknowledge attempts that I 've failed                                                           ­                               
                                 ­                                                                 ­                    
that I would have done differently,                                                     ­       
                                                                ­                                                        
in the life of another me                                                               ­                 
                                                                ­                                                      
  I remember first days at school                                                           ­           
                                                     ­                                                       
  picnics­ at the swimming pool                                                             ­     
                                                           ­                                                             
  all of those wonderful
memories                                                         ­           
                                                                ­                                                 
 and others not so
pleasantly                                                       ­               
                                                                ­                                                      
I remember how love can hurt                                                             ­           
                                                     ­                                                              
 of things that were far worse                                                            ­            
                                                    ­                                                              
All of this pain I pushed away                                                             ­         
                                                       ­                                                             
to remember another day                                                              ­            
                                                    ­                                                                 ­ 
I hope if that day comes,                                                           ­                                     
                                                                ­                                                      
I can stand up & be the one                                                              ­              
                                                  ­                                                                
­ that is so convincingly                                                     ­                 
                                                                ­                                                                 ­       
another version, another me

It is a cool summer night,                                                           ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­
fireflies are in flight,                                                          ­                      
                                                                ­                                                    
  stars like fireworks so bright,                                                          ­                    
                                            ­                                                               
    mosquitos with hearty appetites                                                        ­        
                                                        ­                                                        
There's a slight breeze around,                                                          ­  
                                                                ­                                                          
a moist dew on the ground                                                           ­                                 
                               ­                                                                 ­                      
A bonfire & cold beer,                                                            ­                      
                                                                ­                                                  
I'm wishing you were here                                                             ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­      
Kids playing with flashlights,                                                     ­                   
                                                                ­                                          
all camping out till daylight,                                                        ­              
                                                  ­                                                          
wading­ pools filled with grass,                                                           ­                                                   
                                                                ­                                                  
  the day faded so fast                                                             ­                 
                                                                ­                              
Marshmallows are grilling,                                                        ­                        
                                                                ­                                        
everyone is chilling                                                         ­                           
                                     ­                                                                 ­              
It's a perfect summer night,                                                           ­                 
                                                                ­                                      
  everything is just right

It is so easy for you,                                                             ­                             
                                   ­                                                                 ­                    
to crush my self-esteem                                                      ­                                
                                ­                                                                 ­                                   I wish I didn't love you,                                                             ­                           
                                                                ­                                              
because I know you don't love me                                                               ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­          
You aren't who I thought,                                                         ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­              
I guess I've been blind,                                                           ­                                 
                                                                ­                                                
bruises heal & I forget,                                                          ­                                         
                                                                ­                                                
 how it affected my mind                                                             ­           
                                                     ­                                                         
Being punished for the past,                                                            ­  
                                                                ­                                          
whether it was my fault or not                                                              ­            
                                                                ­                                                      
I thought our love would last                                                             ­       
                                                                ­                                                  
but I settled for what I got                                                              ­      
                                                          ­                                                        
You take all that I have,                                                            ­                  
                                                                ­                                                
want me at your beck & call,                                                            ­              
                                                  ­                                                              
then tell me I should be glad,                                                            ­            
                                                    ­                                                              
I'm getting anything at all

The rain comes
down,                                                            ­                                  
                              ­                                                                 ­               
  making plinking
sounds,                                                          ­                                              
                                                                ­                                              
forming puddles all
around,                                                          ­                        
                                                                ­                                                    
dark skies the
background                                                       ­                         
                                                                ­                                                        
                                                                ­                                                      
I hold my face up,                                                              ­                 
                                               ­                                                                 ­     
 put my hands like a
  cup,                                                          ­                            
                                                                ­                                                  
begin to let it fill
up                                                               ­                               
                                                                ­                                                
Hold it up to my
lips                                                             ­                             
                                   ­                                                                 ­            
with wet
fingertips                                                       ­                                       
                                                                ­                                          
Nothing better than
this,                                                            ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­       
  a raindrops kiss

I can't look at the stars                                                            ­                                  
                                                                ­                                                      
and not think of you                                                              ­                        
                                        ­                                                                 ­               
   I wonder where you are                                                              ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­       
and if you lonely too                                                              ­                        
                                        ­                                                                 ­               
I can't look at the sea                                                              ­                              
                                                                ­                                                        
or it's waves of blue                                                             ­                         
                                                                ­                                              
without remembering me                                                               ­ 
                                                                ­                                              
being there with you                                                  
                                                                ­                                                        
I can't gaze at the sun                                                              ­                                                      
                                                                ­                                              
when it's shining outside                                                          ­                                                  
                                                                ­                                              
only you light can me up inside                                                           ­         
                                                                ­                                                      
I hate being out at night                                                            ­                
                                                ­                                                                 ­     
if the sky is too clear                                                            ­                        
                                        ­                                                                
knowing the moonlight                                                        ­                        
                                                                ­                                                      
is reflecting off your hair                                                             ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­       
 If I were to go blind                                                            ­                                  
                              ­                                                                 ­                   
and I couldn't ever see                                                              ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­           
I' d see you in my mind                                                             ­                       
                                                                ­                                                  
you haunt my memories                                                         ­               
                                                 ­                                                                 ­      
I can't live without you,                                                             ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­  
how can you be without me?                                                              ­        
                                                                ­                                              
Don't you miss me
too?                                                             ­                         
                                                                ­                                              
Aren't you ever lonely?

There's nothing left between you &I                                                                ­                                                   
                                                                ­                                                      
I don't know about you; I tried                                                                    ­                                                       
You don't love anyone but yourself                                                                                   ­                                                 
You broke me & put me through hell             
                                               ­                                                                   
  Our whole lives I gave you my all                                                                                 ­                                                 
  When I needed you, you let me fall                                                                              ­                                                      
I closed my eyes & forgave you still                                                            ­                                                                         ­                                             
                                                                ­                                              
  While you were busy breaking my will                                                                          ­                                      
  I bent until I was broken in two                                                              ­
                                                                ­                                                        
   I see it all now, it's in clear view                                                                           ­                                                
  As I walk away from you

We are living together yet falling apart.                                                           ­       
                                                                ­                                                      
the word forever isn't written in our stars                                                          
 ­                                                                 ­                                        
Heartache is the only thing that we share,                                          
                ­                                                                 ­                                   
now nothing matters & no one cares                                                            ­    
                                                            ­                                                                I take from you, you take from me,                                                          
                                                                ­                                              
hurting each other deliberately                                                     ­                 
                                                                ­                                                        
So far gone we don't care to see,                                                             ­                 
                                                                ­                                                      
I'm killing you & you're killing me                                                               ­   
                                                                ­                                                  
You push my buttons & I push yours                                                            ­      
                                                                ­                                                    
so many times, we stopped keeping score                                                        
   ­                                                                 ­                                                  
  I keep on threatening to walk out that door,                                                      
                                                                ­                                            
you're screaming at me; I can't take anymore"                                                         ­                           
                                                                ­                                                      
I am ashamed of what we have become,                                                
         ­                                                                 ­                                            
but I have the sense to know we are done                                                        
                                                                ­                                            
Broken hearted, I'm standing my ground,                                                        
 ­                                                                 ­                                                
you are someone I can't be around                                                          
                                                                ­                                                      
I detach myself & I wrestle free,                                                            ­          
                                                                ­                                                      
  I got away, a small victory

We fought until we fell apart                                                            ­                                                                 ­                                                         
 No love left in each other's hearts                                                                        ­                                                      
All these years we can't regain             
                                                                                    ­                            
Any empathy that once remained                                                                 
I have always wondered why I stayed                                                           ­                                            
                                                                ­                                              
While you continued to push me away      
                                                                    ­                                                   
Now all of the love that we once knew                                                                     ­                                        
Has become a stain of me & you

Dear other woman,                                                           ­                                     
                                                                ­                                                        
he doesn't care about you,                                                             ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­            
he was once my man                                                              ­                                                  
and at one time I was you                                                              ­                                                                 ­                                                                
­                                                                 ­                                                   
He'll never
checkup                                                          ­                                            
                    ­                                                                 ­                                   
to make sure you're
okay                                                             ­                         
                                                                ­                                                  
and when he's had
enough,                                                          ­                                
                                                                ­                                                    
he will be on his way                                                              ­                              
                                  ­                                                                 ­             
He'll spend his
weekends,                                                        ­                          
                                      ­                                                                 ­       
doing what he wants                                                            ­                  
                                                                ­                                        
Hanging out with friends,                                                         ­                       
                                                                ­                                                  
and you stay home alone                                                            ­                  
                                              ­                                                                
You'll be up all night,                                                           ­           
                                                     ­                                                       
waiting by the phone                                                            ­                            
                                    ­                                                                 ­            
 and he'll start a
fight                                                            ­                                  
                                                                ­                                                    
  so, he can stay out on his
own                                                              ­                              
                                  ­                                                                 ­           
You'll think he's
cheating,                                                        ­                              
                                  ­                                                                 ­              
 he'll say it's in your
  mind                                                          ­                              
                                                                ­                                                    
  He will have you
  thinking,                                                     ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­      
that you're wasting his
time                                                             ­           
                                                                ­                                                  
Just when you think you                                                              ­                    
                                            ­                                                                 ­   
can't take it anymore                                                          ­                                                    
            ­                                                                 ­                                    
  and you have the
proof                                                            ­                                  
                              ­                                                                 ­                       
to nail his *** to the floor,                                                           ­                   
                                                                ­                                                
here come the flowers                                                          ­                                                    
                                                                ­                                                    
so, he can get back in                                                               ­                                   
                                                                ­                                            
Giving him back the
power,                                                           ­                           
                                     ­                                                                 ­                
to cheat on you again                                                            ­                            
                                    ­                                                                 ­                   
I know you are wondering,                                                       ­               
                                                 ­                                                                
 why I am confiding in
you,                                                             ­                   
                                                                ­                                                    
  it's because I've been
  there,                                                        ­                                        
                        ­                                                                 ­                           
and at one time I was you

I don't love you, nor you me                                                               ­                                               
   We are fused together in misery                                                           ­                                       
   Once hidden from visibility                                                       ­                                         
Now we radiate hostility                                                        ­                                            
    No more I love You's are said,                                                            ­                                                
Insults get hurled instead                                                                          ­                                            
 Back-to-back we lay in bed                                                              ­                                    
 Wishing that the other was dead                                                             ­                                               
                                                                ­                                                      
A volcano ready to erupt                                                            ­                    
                                                                ­                                                  
Yet nothing left between us                                                                     ­                                            
  Makes me wonder if there ever was                                                                                                      
Except the hate I always got                                                                   ­    
It's sick, it's sad, it hurts so much                                                                      ­                                
 That I chose to hate over love

Music boxes play, stuffed animals on
display,                                                    
                                                                ­                                              
waiting for children who have gone
away                                                        
    ­                                                                 ­                                 
Bedrooms left quiet & undisturbed                                                      ­
                                                                ­                                      
voicemails unanswered, texts unpurged                                                         ­                                                                 ­                                                                                                                ­                                                         
All these missing children, postered on a wall
                                                                                  ­                                      
I think of the broken lives behind them
all                                                    
         ­                                                                 ­                            
Endangered or missing, they aren't where,
                                                          ­                                                  
  someone can protect them, show them
  they care                                                    
                                                                ­                                                
Beautiful angels taken or gone
away                                                            
                                                                ­                                            
maybe their mystery will be solved
today                                                  
                                                                ­                                                   
    For every parent who patiently lies in
wait                                                             ­ 
                                                               ­                                                         
   I pray that they bring their child home safe

You breathed life into my heart when it was deflated,                                          
             ­                                                                 ­                                        
you changed my mind even after it was jaded                                                            ­            
                                                    ­                                                              
You gave me a reason to get up every day                                                              ­              
                                                  ­                                                                 ­   
and you showed me love all along the way                                                              ­
                                                                ­                                                      
You taught me how to laugh & be
myself,                                                          ­          
                                                      ­                                                                
­ you showed me the way out of my shell                                                            ­                                                                 ­           
                                                     ­                                                           
Who am I kidding? you changed everything                                                       ­ 
                                                                ­                                              
When I'm with you I feel like a queen                                                            ­    
                                                                ­                                              
  Before you I was alive but not living,                                                    
     ­                                                                 ­                                      
  you've accepted me since the beginning                                                        ­        
                                                                ­                                              
   When I feel down, you lift me up                                                            
                                                                ­                                                  
  and shower me with beautiful love                                                             ­ 
                                                               ­                                                                 ­
I often wonder where I would be                                                               ­           
                                                     ­                                                                 ­  
if you had never loved me

Behind brown eyes & a beautiful face                                                             ­                                                                 ­                                                                                       ­              
Lay sad memories she wished to erase                                                            ­
                                                                ­                                                      
She longed to not be part of the human race                                                  
                                                                ­                                                   
 Now God has set her free                                                             ­           
                                                                ­                                                      
Not always what we hoped she would be                                                               ­                 
                                                                ­                                                      
We needed more than our reality                                                          ­            
                                                    ­                                                                 ­ 
We saw things she couldn't see                                                              ­              
                                                                ­                                                    
Now God has set her free                                                             ­                       
                                                                ­                                                      
I never thought we would be friends                                                          ­
                                                                ­                                                  
But that's what happened in the end                                                              ­              
                                                  ­                                                        
Sharing memories & making amends                                                          
­                                                                 ­                                               
Now God has set her free                                                             ­                     
                                                                ­                                                      
I know she's in a better place                                                            ­            
                                                                ­                                                  
All her pain has been erased                                                           ­         
                                                                ­                                                      
   I 'm sure there's a big smile on her face                                                          
  ­                                                                 ­                                             
  Now God has set her free

What are you so afraid of?                                                              ­              
                                                  ­                                                                
­Being gay isn't contagious                                                       ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­        
Why can't you be true to you?                                                             ­                                                                 ­                                                
                ­                                                                 ­                                   
Love anyone that you want to.                                                              ­          
                                                      ­                                                                 ­ 
Is it wrong to be different?                                                       ­             
                                                                ­                                                    
Who are we to consequence?                                                     ­                             
                                   ­                                                                 ­              
We're all unique in our own way                                                              ­    
                                                                ­                                                  
What is wrong & who's to say?                                                             ­     
                                                           ­                                         
Judgement is passed so easily                                                           ­           
                                                     ­                                                           
Like a cycle of stupidity,                                                       ­                                                              
Do you believe you can choose                                                           ­             
                                                   ­                                                                 ­
Be careful of who you lose                                                             ­                 
                                                                ­                                          
Friends come is all colors & size                                                          
  ­                                                                 ­                                               
Do you have so many by your side?                                                            ­
                                                                ­                                                
That you can choose to discard                                                          ­                
                                                ­                                                        
everyone who's not your star?                                                            ­            
                                                    ­                                                        
  Words can hurt so **** much                                                             ­                                                                 ­    
                                                                ­                                                
  Stop the hatred, enough is enough!                                                          ­                                                      
          ­                                                                 ­                                     
  This hate could only make sense                                                            ­             
                                                                ­                                                      
If we embraced intolerance

I'm trying hard to not react,                                                           ­                 
                                               ­                                                                 ­        
to get all of my power back                                                             ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­      
Calling on an inner peace                                                            ­              
                                                                ­                                                        
to set me free & give me relief                                                           ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­          
As I breathe in and then exhale,                                                          ­                        
                                                                ­                                                      
my cooler head soon prevails                                                         ­                     
                                           ­                                                            
 Confident that I can
succeed,                                                         ­               
                                                 ­                                                                 
 that I have all that I need                                                             ­           
                                                                ­                                                    
So, the tables are
turning                                                          ­                                
                                ­                                                                 ­                 
and I find myself learning                                                         ­                             
                                   ­                                                                 ­            
That if I take it day by
day,                                                             ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­          
I might end up being okay

Life doesn't get easier as you get
older,                                                           ­   
                                                             ­                                                         
the world gets heavier on your
shoulders                                                      
                                                                ­                                          
Sometimes I feel the weight will crush
me,                                                              ­                                                  
                                                                ­                                                      
this massive weight of responsibility                                                   ­               
                                                                ­                                                
Being the glue that holds everything,                                                      ­  
                                                                ­                                                  
can cause you to crack & fade with strain                                                           ­                 
                                                                ­                                                      
Being all that others need you to be                                                               ­             
                                                   ­                                                         
doesn't leave much left for me                                                               ­             
                                                                ­                                            
Noone seems amazed that I don't fall apart,                                                           ­           
                                                     ­                                                           
only I know how it breaks my heart                                                            ­      
                                                          ­                                                              
I never once hear a simple thank you,                                                             ­   
                                                             ­                                                       
no act of kindness paid, no gratitude                                                        ­                                                          
      ­                                                                 ­                                                 
I don't even know how I don't fall down,                                                      
     ­                                                                 ­                                          
  with no encouragement to be found                                                            ­          
                                                      ­                                                                 ­ 
  I hold my breath, and no one sees,                                                            ­              
                                                  ­                                                              
  they are busy fulfilling their needs                                                      
     ­                                                                 ­                                              
  No awards, no prize, they don't realize                                                          ­  
                                                              ­                                                    
  this glue is cracked, yellowed & dry

Sometimes you have to fall on your knees,                                                           ­ 
                                                                ­                                                        
to prove how strong you can really
be                                                              
                                                                ­                                                      
The ability to get back
up,                                                             ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                           
can make you hard, make you
tough                                                           ­                                                   
                                                                ­                                    
    Sometimes you have to shed some tears                                                            ­        
to realize how to fight your fears
                                                                 ­                                                  
You know what they all say,                                                             ­         
                                                       ­                                                         
there are gonna be better days                                                             ­           
                                                                ­                                                      
A broken heart can heal
itself,                                                          ­              
                                                                ­                                                
with a little love, a little
help                                                             ­                           
                                     ­                                                                 ­        
Don't just give your heart
away                                                             ­                                             
                                                                ­                                          
because someone tells you it's
okay                                                             ­     
                                                           ­                                                   
Love's not all that it's cracked up to
be                                                              
­                                                                 ­                                                 
and being alone doesn't mean
lonely                                                           ­           
                                                     ­                                                            
  Learn to love yourself the
  best                                                          ­                
                                                                ­                                                 
 and let God do all the
  rest                                                          ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­     
  Be your own true & best friend,                                                          ­
                                                                ­                                                     
  we all die alone in the
  end                                                           ­                 
                                               ­                                                                 ­    
Do what is right between you &
you,                                                             ­   
                                                             ­                                                     
life is beautiful when you do

As the sand falls through the
hourglass,                                                       ­           
                                                     ­                                                                 ­
our lives go ticking by so
fast                                                             ­           
                                                     ­                                                               
Each grain is so
intricate,                                                       ­                               
                                                                ­                                                    
each one its own so
delicate                                                         ­                       
                                                                ­                                                    
Like children they are separate                                                         ­                       
                                                                ­                                                  
but also need to compensate                                                       ­                             
                                                                ­                                                  
We need to love our daughters & sons                                                             ­                                                             
                                                                ­                                          
treasure the grains in every last one                                                              ­  
                                                              ­                                          
Someone once said to me,                                                              ­                              
                                  ­                                                                 ­       
children are gems we are borrowing,                                                       ­                           
                                     ­                                                                 ­          
until God decides he needs them more than
me                                                    
          ­                                                                 ­                                     
they will continue be my treasure, sparkling

We don't even talk anymore                                                          ­                                                                             ­                                                  
No goodbye kisses at the door                                                             ­                                               
  I've got my life & you have yours                                                            ­                                                
                                                                ­                                                  
  We are still together, what for?         
                                                   ­                                                                   
You pretend that you still care                                                             ­       
                                                                ­                                                   
   Your mixed messages aren't fair                                                             ­                                                   
                                                                ­                                                      
I can see through the blank stares                                                           ­                                                                   ­                                          
 You're still here, but you're not there                                                            ­                                         
                       ­                                                                 ­                        
    What the hell have we done to us?                                                                       ­                                             
Broken hearts, broken trust

They were breaking her, she was their favorite game,                                                            ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                
Her face was a blur, they all called her names,                                                           ­                   
                                                                ­                                                      
She could have been anyone; they just had a need                                                                   ­                                                     
                                                                ­                                                    
to hurt someone with their reckless deeds                                                            ­                                                           
     ­                                                                 ­                                          
Fragile as glass, they chipped away at her,                                                                      ­                                                   
all in the same class, they liked throwing dirt                                          
                                                                ­                                                  
Some said she had demons of her own                                                                     ­                                               
they exorcised theirs by computer & phone                                                
                                                                ­                                                
They saw her as weak & hoped to bring her down                                                             ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                           
They sought out to seek someone to push around     
                                                                 ­                                                   
It all became too much; she committed suicide                                    
                     ­                                                                 ­                                
It was just too much for her to abide                                                    
                                                                ­                                                
They had broken her, she was their favorite game,                                                    
       ­                                                                 ­                                            
   To them a faceless blur whose life forever changed

Sometimes it's hard to know where a man's loyalties
lie                                                              ­                                                    
and at times, it's hard to see what's right before your
eyes                                                             ­                                                               
and when & if that happens, he can take you for a
ride                                                             ­                                            
 and that kind of resentment does not easily
subside                                                          ­      
                                                                ­                                                        
 It can be easy for a man to pull you right
 in                                                             ­                                                     
when he says the right things & pays
attention                                                        ­                                          
The only way to see if he's the cheating
kind                                                             ­                                               
is to fall in love first with his soul & his
 mind                                                    
                                                                ­                                                        
 If he's worth the wait, he will stick
   around                                                          ­                                             
  If he's pressuring you, tell him to hit the ground
  It is not that easy for a treasure to be
  found                                                         ­                                                
 So, listen with both ears, wait for the right
  sound                                                  
                                                                ­                                                  
Too many times, we give away our heart                                                            ­                                              
too much too soon can tear it all apart                                                            ­                                                  
Take it slow & easy that's a good                                                          
  ­start                                                            ­                                  
 building a true love is the best part

I've been going home for years & years,                                                           ­                                               
                                                                ­                                                      
and every time it brings me to tears                                                            ­                                          
                      ­                                                                 ­                               
but it gives me the strength to go on                                                               ­   
                                                                ­                                                   
 even though no one is longer home                                                             ­               
                                                 ­                                                         
  Memories around every corner lies,                                                            ­              
                                                  ­                                                                 ­     
it's so hard to leave it all behind,                                                          ­        
                                                                ­                                                    
can't stay away, God knows I've tried,                                                           ­       
                                                         ­                                                   
thoughts of family make me cry                                                              ­                
                                                ­                                                        
They're gone but their spirits linger on                                                              
­                                                                 ­                                                
   and they keep calling me back home

One, Two, three breathe,                                                         ­                           
                                     ­                                                                 ­    
calmness washes over
me                                                               ­                                 
                                                                ­                                                  
Allow me to close my eyes,                                                            ­          
                                                                ­                                                        
let the world pass on by                                                               ­     
                                                           ­                                                     
Permit my mind drift away,                                                            ­        
                                                        ­                                                            
shift my focus to better days                                                             ­   
                                                             ­                                                       
Open up my wings and fly,                                                             ­                                                                 ­                                          
  a free and graceful
  butterfly                                                     ­                                 
                               ­                                                                 ­                  
Feel the mist in the clouds,                                                          ­              
                                                  ­                                                             
 erase any and all doubts                                                           ­                 
                                                                ­                                                
Face up into the hot sun,                                                             ­                             
                                   ­                                                                 ­        
looking down on everyone                                                         ­                         
                                                                ­                                                 
 The brightness is blinding
me                                                               ­         
                                                       ­                                                           
but it's what I needed to
see                                                              ­                  
                                              ­                                                              
Ex­actly how I want to feel                                                             ­                             
                                                                ­                                                    
so that I can begin to heal                                                             ­               
                                                 ­                                                                 ­
Let it lead where it
leads,                                                           ­                   
                                             ­                                                           
Calmn­ess washes over me

Some think true love is a dozen a dime,                                                      
                                                                ­                                                    
they don't know how hard it is to find                                                        
    ­                                                                 ­                                                   
  I only know from my own history,                                                         ­                                                               
 ­                                                                 ­                                                      
 it hasn't happened that often for me                                                               ­                             
                                                                ­                                                        
So, when I find it I just as quickly,                                                         ­     
                                                                ­                                                        
   I celebrate the miracle happening to
   me                                                               ­                 
                                                                ­                                                        
   I just hold on; it may not last for
   long                                                        
    ­                                                                 ­                                                   
   It feels so right, I want it to go
   on,                                                              ­        
                                                        ­                                                              
  I close my eyes &embrace the love,                                                        
   ­                                                                 ­                                        
cherish the memories, there's never enough                                                      
    ­                                                                 ­                                         
Open your heart & let it rush in,                                                              ­          
                                                      ­                                                    
flood your heart with happy feelings                                                         ­         
                                                                ­                                              
Smile like a fool till your face hurts,                                                           ­         
                                                       ­                                                           
fill your heart with love till it bursts                                                      
    ­                                                                 ­                                         
Dance in streets, promenade in the rain,                                                          
 ­                                                                 ­                                              
treat it like it won't happen again                                                            ­        
                                                                ­                                               
 Send them flowers, chocolate or cards,                                            
                                                                ­                                                   
   Call them unexpected, wherever you are,                                            
                ­                                                                 ­                                  
 end every call with an I love
  you,                                                          ­          
                                                      ­                                                        
show them what they mean to you                                                  
           ­                                                                 ­                                  
Wake up smiling & keep it up,                                                            
 ­                                                                 ­                                                
tell them they're everything you're dreaming of

You are a brick tied to my neck                                                                    ­                                        
Concrete blocks on my feet                                                                     ­                                          
I have given you my best,                                                            ­                                              
  but this isn't meant to be                                                                      ­                                            
 I held you up until I was tired                                                            ­      
                                                                ­                                            
Wiped tears as they fell down      
                                                                ­                                                       
Your insecurities start to fire                                                                     ­                                    
Smothering me, I am bound                                                            ­                                          
                      ­                                                                 ­                           
You have called me a liar, a cheat                                                                    ­                                                      
  and as soon as I start to react                                                                       ­                                               
 You are either crying on your knees                                                                       ­                                                  
 or rising up for another attack                                                                   ­                                                
You are ******* the life out of me           
                                                                ­                                                        
Not happy unless I am suffering,                                                       ­                                                                 
I just want to break free                                                                      ­                                     
  Take your chains off of me

Your fire will burn us alive,                                                           ­               
                                                                ­                                                        
I will be happy not to survive                                                          ­                      
                                                                ­                                                          
I want to feel the heat of your
flame,                                                           ­   
                                                             ­                                                           
let it burn me again & again                                                            ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­               
I want to spend all my days,                                                            ­    
                                                                ­                                          
consumed by your white-hot blaze                                                            ­
                                                                ­                                                        
I crave all of your intensity                                                        ­                        
                                        ­                                                                 ­               
  I want to burn for eternity

I fell but I didn't stay down,                                                            ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­           
got back up & I looked
around                                                           ­                     
                                                                ­                                                  
While there, guess what I
found                                                            ­              
                                                                ­                                                      
that I was still success
bound                                                            ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­           
For all of those who laughed at
me,                                                              ­      
                                                                ­                                                    
  hurt me more than
  repeatedly,                                                   ­                                   
                                                                ­                                                
took their pleasure in my pain,                                                      
                                                                ­                                            
kicked me over & over
again                                                            ­                
                                                                ­                                                        
I hold myself with a sense of
pride                                                            ­        
                                                        ­                                                          
and that takes more than you  
realize                                                          ­                                
                                                                ­                                                     
 It would be easier to roll over &
  die                                                           ­               
                                                                ­                                                  
but it's not in me to not at least
try                                                              ­  
                                                                ­                                               
 Now that my life's on the right track,                                              
                                                                ­                                                
    there is no more going
   back                                                             ­                             
                                   ­                                                                 ­                  
It is you that I feel sorry
for,                                                             ­             
                                                   ­                                                               
 ­ you don't know what a heart is
for                                                              ­        
                                                        ­                                                                
I am going to spend my
time,                                                            ­                  
                                                                ­                                           
 healing my heart ,body &
  mind,                                                         ­                   
                                                                ­                                              
while you continue to be miserable,                                                       ­ 
                                                                ­                                                        
I will continue to be wonderful!

She stayed quiet & chained,                                                         ­                             
                                   ­                                                                 ­                    
too tired, too weak to
think                                                            ­                    
                                            ­                                                                 ­         
He knew that she would
stay                                                             ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­          
as he poured another
drink                                                            ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­       
She was so beaten
down,                                                            ­                                                
                ­                                                                 ­                                     
she didn't even disagree                                                         ­                   
                                                                ­                                              
While he was *******
around                                                           ­           
                                                     ­                                                             
she told people she was happy                                                            ­                                                                 ­                             
                                   ­                                                                 ­                
He took full advantage
of                                                               ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­            
a love he never
deserved                                                         ­                   
                                             ­                                                                  
  When would she call his
  bluff?                                                        ­                
                                                ­                                                              
  ­When would her voice be
  heard?                                                        ­                                    
                                                                ­                                            
  Would there ever come a
  day,                                                          ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­       
  that her pain would find a
way                                                             ­                                                                 ­
                                                                ­                                                 
 and her rage would blow him
  away?                                                         ­       
                                                         ­                                                           
No one would blink an
eye                                                              ­                
                                                                ­                                                  
but she would still probably
cry                                                              ­                    
                                                                ­                                              
While everyone was asking
why,                                                             ­                 
                                                                ­                                                  
she was not able to say good-
bye                                                              ­              
                                                  ­                                                                 ­ 
To the man who held her
down                                                             ­           
                                                                ­                                                    
so, he could keep her in
check,                                                           ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­            
face pushed into the
ground,                                                         ­                                                         
                                                                ­                                                
and kept his foot on her neck                                                             ­       
                                                                ­                                                    
  When would she break
  free,                                                         ­                                       
                         ­                                                                 ­                          
  be who she wanted to
  be                                                            ­                                            
                    ­                                                                 ­                             
  not a victim of
  brutality                                                     ­                                   
                             ­                                                                 ­                  
  Why would she dare to disagree?

You are always talking about me                                                               ­           
                                                                ­                                              
because you can't talk to me                                                               ­           
                                                                ­                                                      
  You think you have me folding                                                          ­              
                                                                ­                                                      
but all this silence is golden                                                           ­                           
                                                                ­                                                      
You hoped to leave me in pieces                                                           ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­          
but you only left me in peace                                                            ­                  
                                                                ­                                                        
                                                                ­                                                
I accept all your faulty
perceptions                                                      ­                  
                                                                ­                                                    
  and I'm going in the other
direction                                                        ­            
                                                    ­                                                                 ­   
I'm determined to not be swayed by you                                                              ­
                                                                ­                                                  
you can't bully me if I don't let you                                                              ­  
                                                              ­                                                    
You cannot change this situation,                                                       ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­    
until you stop your manipulation

So, while I'm here broken & ******                                                           ­                     
                                                                ­                                              
Mascara smeared; she still looks pretty                                                           ­ 
                                                               ­                                                     
Even with that smile in her eyes                                                            
­                                                                 ­                                                
  That ***** is the devil in disguise                                                         ­         
                                                       ­                                                               
She took my love & my pride                                                            ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­         
Now every day, I die inside                                                           ­               
                                                 ­                                                                 ­
Puffy faced & pouting mouth                                                            ­              
                                                                ­                                                      
She shows you what love's about                                                            ­
                                                                ­                                                  
She was a habit you couldn't quit                                                            
­                                                                 ­                                                   
  It was me you chose to forget

You & I have disconnected,                                                    ­                                  
somewhere along the way                                                              ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                  
 I've been feeling neglected                                                        ­
                                                                ­                                                    
more with every passing
day                                                              ­              
                                                  ­                                                                 ­       
  If I ever asked you to
go,                                                              ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­              
                                                  ­                                                              
  would you ask me to
stay,                                                            ­                              
                                                                ­                                                  
  and even if I had said
no,                                                              ­                          
                                      ­                                                                 ­       
   would you stay
anyway?                                                          ­                    
                                            ­                                                                 ­         
   If I thought you
cared,                                                           ­                       
                                                                ­                                                      
    if I knew you loved
me,                                                              ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­       
   the house that we
shared,                                                          ­                  
                                                                ­                                        
    wouldn't feel so
  lonely                                                        ­                                
                                ­                                                                 ­                     
    If I believed you would try,                                                             ­                               
                                                                ­                                                      
    if I knew you'd be there,                                                           ­                                       
                         ­                                                                 ­                      
     then my crying eyes,                                                            ­                      
                                                                ­                                        
    wouldn't have this cold stare                                                            ­                                                                 ­       
                                                                ­                                                        
    I have done more than my part,                                                            ­                                
                                ­                                                                 ­                 
    I've stepped up to the plate                                                            ­            
                                                                ­                                                  
   and now my once loving heart,                                                           ­       
                                                         ­                                                             
   ­ is only filled with hate

Standing on the front porch on a hot summer's day,                                                             ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­
pregnant & barefoot, you chose to walk away                                                  
                                                                ­                                            
Standing in a pool of freshly cried tears,                                                           ­ 
                                                                ­                                              
enabled me to regret loving you for years                                                            ­
                                                                ­                                                        
As your tires kicked up asphalt & dirt,                                                        
   ­                                                                 ­                                                    
                                                                ­                                                  
I was busy calling you a liar & a ****                                                             ­             
                                                   ­                                                                 ­    
I swore after that day I would be strong                                                           ­ 
                                                                ­                                                      
and my grieving time wouldn't be long                                                        
    ­                                                                 ­                                                 
I had our baby two months after you'd gone                                              
              ­                                                                 ­                                 
with him by my side, I was never alone                                                        
   ­                                                                 ­                                              
He was beautiful & you'd never know                                                      
      ­                                                                 ­                                   
because you weren't there to see him grow                                            
                ­                                                                 ­                                     
I never told him his daddy's name                                                             ­     
                                                                ­                                                      
I didn't want rejection to bring him shame                                                  
                                                                ­                                                  
So, I just loved him for the both of us,                                                            
 ­                                                                 ­                                                    
and always let him know that he could trust                                                          
                                                                ­                                                      
I know that you were trying to punish me                                                
                                                                ­                                                  
but I was the one doing the punishing                                                  
                                                                ­                                                          
I got years of his unconditional love,                                                            ­  
                                                              ­                                                    
not once were you mentioned or even thought of                                        
                      ­                                                                 ­                             
Now that you've grown into an old man                                                              ­              
                                                  ­                                                               
 and his life turned out better than you planned                                                      
   ­                                                                 ­                                                  
I don't feel bad that you are all
alone                                                          
                                                                ­                                                     
it's just a shame that your son is now grown

You are drowning me with your negativity                                                       ­                                               
Coming off you like waves soaking me                                                               ­                    
                                                                ­                                                          
I look for the sunshine, I long to see,                                                             ­   
                                                                ­                                                        
feel it's rays on my face & be happy                                                            ­            
                                                    ­                                                                 ­ 
You are the darkness, I need the light                                                            ­    
                                                                ­                                                      
You feed off me like a vampire at night                                                            ­        
                                                        ­                                                       
 Slowly draining me of my energy                                                           ­                 
                                               ­                                                               
Leaving me feeling weak & empty                                                            ­      
                                                          ­                                                            
You were a dark soul when we met                                                              ­                                
                                ­                                                                 ­               
That I couldn't help you, I regret                                                           ­             
                                                                ­                                            
You've one foot in the grave & one on my chest                                                
           ­                                                                 ­                                
You've taken my all & stolen the rest                                                      
                                                                ­                                                      
A dried-up flower I have become                                                           ­                                               
                                                                ­                                                  
 my beauty & scent are long gone

On the other side of the fence,                                                                    ­                                                      
                                                                ­                                                      
a wild yellow flower grows,                                                           ­     
                                                           ­                                                             
sweet smelling so
intense,                                                         ­                                       
                                                                ­                                                          
It takes first place in show                                                             ­               
                                                 ­                                                                 ­  
   If only I could reach it
                                                              ­                                                      
    I'd take it just for me                                                               ­   
                                                             ­                                                         
Go home & showcase
it                                                               ­                                                                                       ­                                                   
  and all its fragile
beauty                                                           ­                             
                                   ­                                                                 ­              
Yet it is out of my reach                                                            ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­     
Like a star up in the sky,                                                             ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­        
   a rare shell on a forbidden beach                                                            ­                                                                 ­          
 I will stretch & I'll still try                                                              ­      
                                                                ­                                        
Straining past the fence
post,                                                            ­              
                                                                ­                                        
touching it with fingertips                                                       ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­          
  I realize what I need
most,                                                            ­                        
                                                                ­                                                      
is just to stop admire it

You are a two-faced poser, a wanna be,                                                              ­    
                                                                ­                                                          
  a tourist in your life, who are you gonna be?                                              
               ­                                                                 ­                                          
  A Gemini, chameleon, you're a deuce                                                            ­        
                                                        ­                                                    
  everyone you've known you've abused                                                           ­         
                                                       ­                                                                 ­
You've spent whole your life trying to be                                                              
­                                                                 ­                                           
  a real-life person with integrity                                                        ­          
                                                                ­                                                
You're a hater & can't stand to see                                                              ­                
                                                                ­                                            
anyone who's happier than you'll ever be                                                              
                                                                ­                                                      
A ruiner of life, you're a charade                                                          ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­ 
filled with self-loathing & rage                                                             ­                 
                                               ­                                                                 ­        
I wish I could feel bad for you                                                              ­      
                                                                ­                                                  
but you make that difficult to do                                                               ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­        
If you could admit what you've done,                                                            ­      
                                                                ­                                                  
you could have had what you want                                                             ­     
                                                                ­                                                
True to your nature you remain to be,                                                              ­          
                                                      ­                                                                
a backstabbing snake & a wanna be

Laugh loudly, walk proudly,                                                         ­                           
                                                                                                              
     dance around till you fall down,                                                            ­          
                                                                ­                                                  
smile until it hurts your face,                                                            ­                                      
                          ­                                                                 ­                                   move your body, don't stay in one place,                                                           ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­          
sing even if you know you're bad,                                                             ­   
                                                             ­                                                         
tell dumb jokes & be stupid glad,                                                      
                                                                ­                                                  
drink wine, get buzzed,                                                          ­                              
                                  ­                                                                 ­                 
give a total stranger a hug,                                                             ­                                   
                                                                ­                                                        
      wear something you never would                                                            ­              
                                                  ­                                                                 ­ 
act a fool, you know you should,                                                          ­      
                                                          ­                                                        
this is my recipe for fun,                                                             ­                                                                 ­                                                    
                                                                ­                                                    
go ahead & get yourself some

Even though the love is gone                                                             ­           
                                                     ­                                                                 ­  
                                                                ­                                                      
I am still holding on                                                               ­                                                    
                                                                ­                                                    
  I am too scared to let go                                                               ­                                                   
I don't want to be alone                                                            ­                        
                                                                ­                                                        
I am protecting my heart                                                            ­                            
                                    ­                                                                 ­                     
It bears so many scars                                                            ­                        
                                                                ­                                                        
I need some time to heal                                                             ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­            
I'm still afraid to feel                                                             ­                       
                                                                ­                                                      
I can't go back to us                                                               ­                         
                                       ­                                                                 ­    
You're someone I can't trust                                                            ­                          
                                                                ­                                                      
I can't forge on ahead                                                            ­                            
                                    ­                                                                 ­           
with a heart that is dead                                                             ­                 
                                               ­                                                                 ­      
I can't keep up this pace                                                             ­                                                   
             ­                                                                 ­                                        
I just need a safe place                                                            ­                            
                                                                ­                                                      
I need to catch my breath                                                           ­                         
                                                                ­                                                      
I need to give my heart a rest

I don't love who you
are,                                                             ­                       
                                                                ­                                                        
I love who you used to be                                                               ­                                                     
                                                                ­                                                      
 I keep hoping that not too          
 far,                                                            ­              
                                                                ­                                                      
  that person is still
  lurking                                                       ­                               
                                 ­                                                                 ­                        
   I get a glimpse now &
   then                                                             ­                             
                                   ­                                                                 ­                 
 that keeps my hopes
alive                                                            ­                        
                                        ­                                                                 ­               
I keep on wondering
when,                                                            ­                  
                                              ­                                                                
you'll tell me he's
arrived                                                          ­                            
                                                                ­                                                
Every once in a
while,                                                           ­                           
                                                                ­                                                    
he shows himself to
me,                                                              ­                                            
                    ­                                                                 ­                                       
in a look or a smile                                                            ­                                                    
            ­                                                                 ­                                           
and it is so reassuring                                                       ­                                                               
                                                                ­                                                  
but those glimpses are so few                                                              ­                              
                                                                ­                                                      
  it leaves me questioning                                                      ­                                
                                ­                                                                 ­               
  Why do I stay with you?                                                             ­                             
                                   ­                                                                 ­              
What's this loves direction?                                                       ­                           
                                                                ­                                                  
My heart still won't give up                                                               ­                   
                                                                ­                                                    
it's missing what is gone                                                             ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­            
but I know it's been long
enough                                                           ­                     
                                                                ­                                                  
and he's not coming home

The darkness doesn't frighten me,                                                              ­          
                                                                ­                                                          
I know in God there's light                                                            ­                  
                                                                ­                                                      
No hatred will silence me,                                                              ­                        
                                        ­                                                                 ­               
I'll fight for what's right                                                            ­                        
                                                                ­                                          
Hunger will not quell me,                                                              ­                  
                                                                ­                                                    
I'll feast on his words,                                                           ­                           
                                                                ­                                                
they will sustain the soul in me,                                                              ­            
                                                    ­                                                                 ­   
I will devour every word                                                             ­                                     
                                                                ­                                          
  Without him I am nothing                                                          ­      
                                                                ­                                                  
and that will be my death                                                            ­      
                                                          ­                                                       With him I can do anything,                                                        ­                
                                                ­                                                                 ­    for he gives me every breath