She stayed quiet & chained,                                                         ­                             
                                   ­                                                                 ­                    
too tired, too weak to
think                                                            ­                    
                                            ­                                                                 ­         
He knew that she would
stay                                                             ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­          
as he poured another
drink                                                            ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­       
She was so beaten
down,                                                            ­                                                
                ­                                                                 ­                                     
she didn't even disagree                                                         ­                   
                                                                ­                                              
While he was *******
around                                                           ­           
                                                     ­                                                             
she told people she was happy                                                            ­                                                                 ­                             
                                   ­                                                                 ­                
He took full advantage
of                                                               ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­            
a love he never
deserved                                                         ­                   
                                             ­                                                                  
  When would she call his
  bluff?                                                        ­                
                                                ­                                                              
  ­When would her voice be
  heard?                                                        ­                                    
                                                                ­                                            
  Would there ever come a
  day,                                                          ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­       
  that her pain would find a
way                                                             ­                                                                 ­
                                                                ­                                                 
 and her rage would blow him
  away?                                                         ­       
                                                         ­                                                           
No one would blink an
eye                                                              ­                
                                                                ­                                                  
but she would still probably
cry                                                              ­                    
                                                                ­                                              
While everyone was asking
why,                                                             ­                 
                                                                ­                                                  
she was not able to say good-
bye                                                              ­              
                                                  ­                                                                 ­ 
To the man who held her
down                                                             ­           
                                                                ­                                                    
so, he could keep her in
check,                                                           ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­            
face pushed into the
ground,                                                         ­                                                         
                                                                ­                                                
and kept his foot on her neck                                                             ­       
                                                                ­                                                    
  When would she break
  free,                                                         ­                                       
                         ­                                                                 ­                          
  be who she wanted to
  be                                                            ­                                            
                    ­                                                                 ­                             
  not a victim of
  brutality                                                     ­                                   
                             ­                                                                 ­                  
  Why would she dare to disagree?

So, you're finally seeing the truth,                                                           ­         more aware of what's happening with you                                                      You don't have to dress up the hurt,                                                            ­    or rub your wounds with salt or dirt                                                            I've seen you in confusion and despair,                                                feeling like you can't be repaired                                                                  Seek spiritual purification                                                     ­                            not more time in isolation                                                        ­                    find  your purpose and redefine it                                                             center yourself, then seek refinement                                                       ­            This is the dark night of your soul                                                         face yourself or be swallowed whole

You are always talking about me                                                               ­           
                                                                ­                                              
because you can't talk to me                                                               ­           
                                                                ­                                                      
  You think you have me folding                                                          ­              
                                                                ­                                                      
but all this silence is golden                                                           ­                           
                                                                ­                                                      
You hoped to leave me in pieces                                                           ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­          
but you only left me in peace                                                            ­                  
                                                                ­                                                        
                                                                ­                                                
I accept all your faulty
perceptions                                                      ­                  
                                                                ­                                                    
  and I'm going in the other
direction                                                        ­            
                                                    ­                                                                 ­   
I'm determined to not be swayed by you                                                              ­
                                                                ­                                                  
you can't bully me if I don't let you                                                              ­  
                                                              ­                                                    
You cannot change this situation,                                                       ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­    
until you stop your manipulation

So, while I'm here broken & ******                                                           ­                     
                                                                ­                                              
Mascara smeared; she still looks pretty                                                           ­ 
                                                               ­                                                     
Even with that smile in her eyes                                                            
­                                                                 ­                                                
  That ***** is the devil in disguise                                                         ­         
                                                       ­                                                               
She took my love & my pride                                                            ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­         
Now every day, I die inside                                                           ­               
                                                 ­                                                                 ­
Puffy faced & pouting mouth                                                            ­              
                                                                ­                                                      
She shows you what love's about                                                            ­
                                                                ­                                                  
She was a habit you couldn't quit                                                            
­                                                                 ­                                                   
  It was me you chose to forget

You & I have disconnected,                                                    ­                                  
somewhere along the way                                                              ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                  
 I've been feeling neglected                                                        ­
                                                                ­                                                    
more with every passing
day                                                              ­              
                                                  ­                                                                 ­       
  If I ever asked you to
go,                                                              ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­              
                                                  ­                                                              
  would you ask me to
stay,                                                            ­                              
                                                                ­                                                  
  and even if I had said
no,                                                              ­                          
                                      ­                                                                 ­       
   would you stay
anyway?                                                          ­                    
                                            ­                                                                 ­         
   If I thought you
cared,                                                           ­                       
                                                                ­                                                      
    if I knew you loved
me,                                                              ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­       
   the house that we
shared,                                                          ­                  
                                                                ­                                        
    wouldn't feel so
  lonely                                                        ­                                
                                ­                                                                 ­                     
    If I believed you would try,                                                             ­                               
                                                                ­                                                      
    if I knew you'd be there,                                                           ­                                       
                         ­                                                                 ­                      
     then my crying eyes,                                                            ­                      
                                                                ­                                        
    wouldn't have this cold stare                                                            ­                                                                 ­       
                                                                ­                                                        
    I have done more than my part,                                                            ­                                
                                ­                                                                 ­                 
    I've stepped up to the plate                                                            ­            
                                                                ­                                                  
   and now my once loving heart,                                                           ­       
                                                         ­                                                             
   ­ is only filled with hate

Standing on the front porch on a hot summer's day,                                                             ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­
pregnant & barefoot, you chose to walk away                                                  
                                                                ­                                            
Standing in a pool of freshly cried tears,                                                           ­ 
                                                                ­                                              
enabled me to regret loving you for years                                                            ­
                                                                ­                                                        
As your tires kicked up asphalt & dirt,                                                        
   ­                                                                 ­                                                    
                                                                ­                                                  
I was busy calling you a liar & a ****                                                             ­             
                                                   ­                                                                 ­    
I swore after that day I would be strong                                                           ­ 
                                                                ­                                                      
and my grieving time wouldn't be long                                                        
    ­                                                                 ­                                                 
I had our baby two months after you'd gone                                              
              ­                                                                 ­                                 
with him by my side, I was never alone                                                        
   ­                                                                 ­                                              
He was beautiful & you'd never know                                                      
      ­                                                                 ­                                   
because you weren't there to see him grow                                            
                ­                                                                 ­                                     
I never told him his daddy's name                                                             ­     
                                                                ­                                                      
I didn't want rejection to bring him shame                                                  
                                                                ­                                                  
So, I just loved him for the both of us,                                                            
 ­                                                                 ­                                                    
and always let him know that he could trust                                                          
                                                                ­                                                      
I know that you were trying to punish me                                                
                                                                ­                                                  
but I was the one doing the punishing                                                  
                                                                ­                                                          
I got years of his unconditional love,                                                            ­  
                                                              ­                                                    
not once were you mentioned or even thought of                                        
                      ­                                                                 ­                             
Now that you've grown into an old man                                                              ­              
                                                  ­                                                               
 and his life turned out better than you planned                                                      
   ­                                                                 ­                                                  
I don't feel bad that you are all
alone                                                          
                                                                ­                                                     
it's just a shame that your son is now grown

You are drowning me with your negativity                                                       ­                                               
Coming off you like waves soaking me                                                               ­                    
                                                                ­                                                          
I look for the sunshine, I long to see,                                                             ­   
                                                                ­                                                        
feel it's rays on my face & be happy                                                            ­            
                                                    ­                                                                 ­ 
You are the darkness, I need the light                                                            ­    
                                                                ­                                                      
You feed off me like a vampire at night                                                            ­        
                                                        ­                                                       
 Slowly draining me of my energy                                                           ­                 
                                               ­                                                               
Leaving me feeling weak & empty                                                            ­      
                                                          ­                                                            
You were a dark soul when we met                                                              ­                                
                                ­                                                                 ­               
That I couldn't help you, I regret                                                           ­             
                                                                ­                                            
You've one foot in the grave & one on my chest                                                
           ­                                                                 ­                                
You've taken my all & stolen the rest                                                      
                                                                ­                                                      
A dried-up flower I have become                                                           ­                                               
                                                                ­                                                  
 my beauty & scent are long gone

Eventually has caught up with me,                                                              ­        
                                                                ­                                                        
it's come knocking at my
door                                                             ­                                   
                             ­                                                                 ­                      
Here to come and play with
me,                                                              ­              
                                                                ­                                                        
an admirable show of
force                                                            ­              
                                                  ­                                                                 ­     
As it laughs in my
face                                                             ­                                 
                                                                ­                                                
saying it can't be
ignored,                                                         ­                               
                                                                ­                                                        
I try to find my happy
place,                                                           ­                       
                                                                ­                                             
 where I used to hide
before                                                           ­                       
                                                                 ­                                             
Black eyes and bold, breathing
fire,                                                            ­          
                                                      ­                                                                 ­ 
  it rises up from
  beneath                                                       ­                               
                                 ­                                                                 ­      
Showing me my funeral
pyre                                                             ­                   
                                                                ­                                                  
  and challenging my
beliefs                                                          ­                          
                                                                ­                                                        
I knew it was looming
there,                                                           ­               
                                                                ­                                                        
I had sensed it many times                                                            ­                            
                                    ­                                                                 ­             
but until it showed, I
declared,                                                        ­                          
                                      ­                                                                 ­                 
I would live this life of
mine                                                             ­                 
                                                                ­                                                  
but now it's here,
threatening                                                      ­                      
                                                                ­                                                  
I'm defenseless in its
grip,                                                            ­                        
                                                                ­                                                  
the screams are deafening                                                        ­                                      
                          ­                                                                 ­                   
While I deal with this,                                                            ­                        
                                        ­                                                              
  ­outwardly, I show a smile                                                            ­    
                                                            ­                                                    
Then the fear rushes
in                                                               ­                       
                                                                ­                                        
  knowing I have a short
while                                                            ­                                        
                        ­                                                                 ­                     
  before eventually comes crashing in

My hands are not steady,                                                          ­                                                                 ­                                                               and weights are on my heart                                                            ­                   my shoulders feel heavy,                                                                                  and I am falling apart                                                            ­                                 I don't know you anymore,                                                         ­                        You are a stranger to me,                                                              ­                     What are we talking for?                                                             ­                                                 You're not even listening

I deeply exhaled and I let you go,                                                              ­                                       
an inner peace I've never known                                                            ­                                              
                                                                ­                                                    
no reflex at all, going loose,                                                           ­                                       
                                                                ­                                              
      doing exactly what I choose                                                           ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                        
 Relaxing for the first time,                                                            ­        
                                                        ­                                                        
releasing pain in my mind                                                             ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­
  Melting while I float away,                                                            ­                        
                                                                ­                                              
  living my life, my own way                                                              ­                                    
                            ­                                                                 ­                     
  I'm letting go of me and you too,                                                             ­ 
                                                                ­                                                    
  it's something that I needed to do                                                        
      ­                                                                 ­                                 
  Thinking of only myself,                                                          ­      
                                                          ­                                                  
  putting me before everyone else                                                  
                                                                ­                                          
  Foreign but delectable,                                                      ­                            
                                    ­                                                                 ­         
feeling free and unpredictable                                                    ­                    
                                                                ­                                                        
I close my eyes & sleep so deep,                                                            ­  
                                                                ­                                                      
  a well-deserved dreamless sleep                                                        
                                                                ­                                                  
  My mind is clear, my heart is
light                                                            ­        
                                                        ­                                                              
My spirit soars like a bird in
flight                                                           ­                                   
                                                                ­                                                            
By letting go of me and you                                                              ­                                      
                          ­                                                                 ­                       
  it was the best thing I could do

Ever since we've been together,                                                        ­                I've been here, you're over there                                                                 I have been trying to reel you in,                                                                        to  make you express your feelings                                                         ­            But you've thrown up a love proof wall                                                          so impervious to it all                                                              ­                           Like a soldier, I trudge up to you,                                                             ­  your mighty wall not breaking through                                                     I've  fought the good fight,                                                           ­               but  warriors die sometimes                                                        ­         so,  I  am giving up on us                                                               ­             I have been fighting long enough                                                           ­                  I don't want to fight for somebody who                                              isn't fighting for my love too

On the other side of the fence,                                                                    ­                                                      
                                                                ­                                                      
a wild yellow flower grows,                                                           ­     
                                                           ­                                                             
sweet smelling so
intense,                                                         ­                                       
                                                                ­                                                          
It takes first place in show                                                             ­               
                                                 ­                                                                 ­  
   If only I could reach it
                                                              ­                                                      
    I'd take it just for me                                                               ­   
                                                             ­                                                         
Go home & showcase
it                                                               ­                                                                                       ­                                                   
  and all its fragile
beauty                                                           ­                             
                                   ­                                                                 ­              
Yet it is out of my reach                                                            ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­     
Like a star up in the sky,                                                             ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­        
   a rare shell on a forbidden beach                                                            ­                                                                 ­          
 I will stretch & I'll still try                                                              ­      
                                                                ­                                        
Straining past the fence
post,                                                            ­              
                                                                ­                                        
touching it with fingertips                                                       ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­          
  I realize what I need
most,                                                            ­                        
                                                                ­                                                      
is just to stop admire it

You are a two-faced poser, a wanna be,                                                              ­    
                                                                ­                                                          
  a tourist in your life, who are you gonna be?                                              
               ­                                                                 ­                                          
  A Gemini, chameleon, you're a deuce                                                            ­        
                                                        ­                                                    
  everyone you've known you've abused                                                           ­         
                                                       ­                                                                 ­
You've spent whole your life trying to be                                                              
­                                                                 ­                                           
  a real-life person with integrity                                                        ­          
                                                                ­                                                
You're a hater & can't stand to see                                                              ­                
                                                                ­                                            
anyone who's happier than you'll ever be                                                              
                                                                ­                                                      
A ruiner of life, you're a charade                                                          ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­ 
filled with self-loathing & rage                                                             ­                 
                                               ­                                                                 ­        
I wish I could feel bad for you                                                              ­      
                                                                ­                                                  
but you make that difficult to do                                                               ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­        
If you could admit what you've done,                                                            ­      
                                                                ­                                                  
you could have had what you want                                                             ­     
                                                                ­                                                
True to your nature you remain to be,                                                              ­          
                                                      ­                                                                
a backstabbing snake & a wanna be

Laugh loudly, walk proudly,                                                         ­                           
                                                                                                              
     dance around till you fall down,                                                            ­          
                                                                ­                                                  
smile until it hurts your face,                                                            ­                                      
                          ­                                                                 ­                                   move your body, don't stay in one place,                                                           ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­          
sing even if you know you're bad,                                                             ­   
                                                             ­                                                         
tell dumb jokes & be stupid glad,                                                      
                                                                ­                                                  
drink wine, get buzzed,                                                          ­                              
                                  ­                                                                 ­                 
give a total stranger a hug,                                                             ­                                   
                                                                ­                                                        
      wear something you never would                                                            ­              
                                                  ­                                                                 ­ 
act a fool, you know you should,                                                          ­      
                                                          ­                                                        
this is my recipe for fun,                                                             ­                                                                 ­                                                    
                                                                ­                                                    
go ahead & get yourself some

Even though the love is gone                                                             ­           
                                                     ­                                                                 ­  
                                                                ­                                                      
I am still holding on                                                               ­                                                    
                                                                ­                                                    
  I am too scared to let go                                                               ­                                                   
I don't want to be alone                                                            ­                        
                                                                ­                                                        
I am protecting my heart                                                            ­                            
                                    ­                                                                 ­                     
It bears so many scars                                                            ­                        
                                                                ­                                                        
I need some time to heal                                                             ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­            
I'm still afraid to feel                                                             ­                       
                                                                ­                                                      
I can't go back to us                                                               ­                         
                                       ­                                                                 ­    
You're someone I can't trust                                                            ­                          
                                                                ­                                                      
I can't forge on ahead                                                            ­                            
                                    ­                                                                 ­           
with a heart that is dead                                                             ­                 
                                               ­                                                                 ­      
I can't keep up this pace                                                             ­                                                   
             ­                                                                 ­                                        
I just need a safe place                                                            ­                            
                                                                ­                                                      
I need to catch my breath                                                           ­                         
                                                                ­                                                      
I need to give my heart a rest

I don't love who you
are,                                                             ­                       
                                                                ­                                                        
I love who you used to be                                                               ­                                                     
                                                                ­                                                      
 I keep hoping that not too          
 far,                                                            ­              
                                                                ­                                                      
  that person is still
  lurking                                                       ­                               
                                 ­                                                                 ­                        
   I get a glimpse now &
   then                                                             ­                             
                                   ­                                                                 ­                 
 that keeps my hopes
alive                                                            ­                        
                                        ­                                                                 ­               
I keep on wondering
when,                                                            ­                  
                                              ­                                                                
you'll tell me he's
arrived                                                          ­                            
                                                                ­                                                
Every once in a
while,                                                           ­                           
                                                                ­                                                    
he shows himself to
me,                                                              ­                                            
                    ­                                                                 ­                                       
in a look or a smile                                                            ­                                                    
            ­                                                                 ­                                           
and it is so reassuring                                                       ­                                                               
                                                                ­                                                  
but those glimpses are so few                                                              ­                              
                                                                ­                                                      
  it leaves me questioning                                                      ­                                
                                ­                                                                 ­               
  Why do I stay with you?                                                             ­                             
                                   ­                                                                 ­              
What's this loves direction?                                                       ­                           
                                                                ­                                                  
My heart still won't give up                                                               ­                   
                                                                ­                                                    
it's missing what is gone                                                             ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­            
but I know it's been long
enough                                                           ­                     
                                                                ­                                                  
and he's not coming home

The flames of the fire are
gone,                                                           ­                                                             slowly the embers grow
faint,                                                          ­                                                                ashes waltz in orange taffeta,                                                 
                                                                ­                                              
  carried up into the darkness and fade

The darkness doesn't frighten me,                                                              ­          
                                                                ­                                                          
I know in God there's light                                                            ­                  
                                                                ­                                                      
No hatred will silence me,                                                              ­                        
                                        ­                                                                 ­               
I'll fight for what's right                                                            ­                        
                                                                ­                                          
Hunger will not quell me,                                                              ­                  
                                                                ­                                                    
I'll feast on his words,                                                           ­                           
                                                                ­                                                
they will sustain the soul in me,                                                              ­            
                                                    ­                                                                 ­   
I will devour every word                                                             ­                                     
                                                                ­                                          
  Without him I am nothing                                                          ­      
                                                                ­                                                  
and that will be my death                                                            ­      
                                                          ­                                                       With him I can do anything,                                                        ­                
                                                ­                                                                 ­    for he gives me every breath

There is not a single day, that I don't walk this way                                                              ­                                                        
                                                                ­                                                    
It's just a path that I take, when I have decisions to make                                                            
                                                                ­                                                      
It's given me the chance to see, God's work so perfectly                                                        ­                
                                                ­                                                            
Amongst the birds and the bees, are flowers I keep noticing                        
                                                                ­                                              
They are both yellow and orange, not much to see,                                            
                                                                ­                                                  
but I have seen them bloom in May, clumped in snow on a cold day                                  
                           ­                                                                 ­                            
  I can't help but admire their will, standing tall, standing still,      
                                                    ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­          
its head held high with dignity, I hope I have that strength in me

He tried his best to get past
it,                                                              ­                                                     
                                                                ­                                                    
He exhausted himself trying to go around
it,                                                             ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                           
  but he had to go through it to get it right                                                            ­                                                    
                                                                ­                                                        
  I couldn't act for him and stood by
helplessly                                                    ­                                                   
                                                                ­                                         
watching him struggle through the
emotions                                              
          ­                                                                 ­                                 
          knowing he wouldn't grow by just going through the motions

My heads in my hands, my hearts on the floor                                                            ­            
                                                    ­                                                                 ­   
    You don't understand, I can't take it no more                                                             ­                               
                                 ­                                                                 ­                        
I can't keep giving to have you take it away                                                    
                                                                ­                                                      
Are you listening? I am not going to stay                                                             ­ 
                                                               ­                                                           
  I cannot trust you, you are so mendacious,                                                      ­        
                                                        ­                                                                 ­ 
I can't forgive your behavior, it's outrageous,    
                                                 ­                                                                 ­      
You say that you love me then hurt me so
bad,                                                            
                                                                ­                                                    
can you say honestly, you want what you have?                                                
           ­                                                                 ­                                      
You make me forget what I ever loved in you,                                                             ­ 
                                                                ­                                                                 ­   
You make me regret everything I've done for you                                                              ­            
                                                    ­                                                              
Why can't you just think and act before you do                                                               ­   
                                                             ­                                                   
  Your decisions stink, not everything's about you                                            
                                                                ­                                    
  Narcissistic and shallow, you only love yourself,                                                        ­              
                                                                ­                                                    
  So empty and hollow, you can go **** yourself,                                                        ­
                                                                ­                                                    
  as much as I love you, I hate you as well,                                                            ­      
                                                                ­                                              
There's nothing more to say or do except, Go to hell.

I see you smiling through your tears                                                            ­    
                                                                ­                                                      
   You still amaze me after all these years                                                            ­          
                                                      ­                                                              
                                                                ­                                                
Your strength helps me to believe                                                        
                                                                ­                                                   
   That all will be okay with me                                                               ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­            
   In your eyes I see a glimpse of hope                                                             ­   
                                                             ­                                                         
You are the only knot in a flimsy rope                                                             ­   
                                                             ­                                                         
  An anchor buried in me so deep                                                             ­                 
                                                                ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                         
holding me steady, firm on my feet                                                                        ­                                                      
I often wonder where I would I be                                                               ­ 
                                                               ­                                           
without you always supporting me                                                              
                                                                ­                                                      
I admire every aspect of you                                                              ­            
                                                    ­                                                              
You have always told me the truth                                                            ­
                                                                ­                                                    
No secrets & nothing to hide                                                             ­       
                                                                ­                                                        
  So easy for me to confide                                                          ­                      
                                          ­                                                              
Na­turally beautiful in every way                                                            
                                                                ­                                                      
I love you more than I can say                                                              ­  
                                                                ­                                                  
You accept me just as I am                                                                  ­                                               
 Push me to be all that I
  can                                                           ­               
                                                                ­                                                  
You listen to me & you understand                                                       ­         
                                                       ­                                                             
I'll walk through life with you, hand in hand

I wish I could see you                                                                                       wish you could see me                                                               ­                           One last time before you                                                              ­                     left me for an eternity                                                         ­                                   I miss your smiling face                                                             ­                        the love you gave freely                                                           ­                              I wish there was a place                                                            ­                         that you and I could meet                                                             ­                         I still feel you around me                                                               ­                 like it was yesterday                                                        ­                      Your aura surrounds me                                                               ­                        and leads me the right way                                                              ­                     I still catch myself trying                                                           ­                          to make you proud of me                                                               ­                  and when I feel like crying                                                           ­                    thoughts of you are comforting                                                       ­                          I know that someday                                                          ­                      I will see you once again                                                       ­                  but  until that day                                                              ­                                   nothing will be as it had been

Mold me, mend me, help me swallow my pride,                                                           ­                                                                 ­                                                      smooth out my edges, cleanse me inside                                                     Polish me shiny make me look brand new                                                    Help me to see a better point of view                                                             ­     Sew up the torn spots with strong string                                                             Help me to listen before speaking                                                         ­               Heal all the blackness that lives inside                                                           ­     Fill me with love until the emptiness dies                                                 Shine down with a light I can't ignore                                                           Tell me how to think after and before                                                           ­ Make me a person you will be proud of                                                            one that can cry or can be tough                                                            ­  I am only human, I need your touch                                                            ­               Thank you God, Thank you so much

I am tired of trying to read your mind,                                                      
                                                                ­                                                        
  I can't keep up, I am always behind,                                                          ­                          
                                      ­                                                                 ­           
never thought I could love your kind,                                                        
                                                                ­                                                                 ­   I 'm over chasing what will never be mine                                                    
        ­                                                                 ­                                         
Serial cheater, womanizer, that's you                                                              ­  
                                                                ­                                                    
only to your heart you can be true,                                                            ­        
                                                                ­                                                
Selfish *****, what can I do to please you?                                                             ­   
                                                             ­                                       
Heartbreaker, I both love & hate you,                                                
                                                                ­                                                
even after all you've put me through,                                                
                                                                ­                                    
sometimes, I don't even know who                                                      
                                                                ­                                                   
   you are anymore & don't want to

I have been spiraling down                                                                    ­                                 
Clawing at the muddy ground                                                           ­                                                              
 I pull myself up just to sink         
                                                                              ­                              
Always hanging on the brink                                                                       ­                                                    
  If I'd call for help, who'd hear                                                                     ­                                                  
  I'm all alone & my minds unclear                                                                     ­                                                    
 I scream in silence, so it seems                                                                    ­                                              
Haunted every night by dreams                                                                      ­                                                
   What is real & what is not                                                                        ­  
My pulse races, nerves are taut                                                             ­                                          
                                                                                                              
White knuckling through this life                                                             ­                                                                 ­                      
  Filled with pain, the future's blight                                                           ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                      
I am a human stain bleeding out                                                              ­                                              
                                                                ­                                                 
 No tunnel light, just doubt                                                                     ­                                                     
I 'm dead inside & life is hell                                                                      ­                                                 
This is the hand I have been dealt

After all the **** you put me through                                                          ­                                
                                                                ­                                        
   Claiming all along it's been me not you              
                                                                ­                                    
  You made me feel you were doing me a favor                                                            ­                                        
                                                                ­                                              
  While I gave you all my best behavior                                                                   ­                                
Still, you say I am not good enough                                                                      ­                                                    
   I tell you that I am sorry that my love                                                                   ­                                                
Was something you wanted more of          
                                                                                 
  When I wasn't sure you loved me at all                                                                      ­                                             
    You pushed me away & put up walls                                                                     ­                                                      
  So here we are now, there is no mistaking                                                        ­                                   
                             ­                                                                 ­           
  Loving you was a huge undertaking

He hides from life, he runs away,                                                            ­            
                                                                ­                                                   
 can't handle the strife of his everyday                                                         ­       
                                                                ­                                                        
       If he doesn't see it, it did not happen,
                                                         ­                                                     
feelings reserved, he's living on   rations                                                          ­                                                                 ­   
                                                                ­                                                  
Can't take the pressure, can't push
himself,                                              
          ­                                                                 ­                                           
out of his safe zone and into our hell                                                             ­       
                                                                ­                                                     
So easy to pull the covers over your head,                                            
                                                                ­                                                        
I would rather live in the light
instead                                                          ­    
                                                                ­                                                
One day he will realize, he's all
alone                                                        
                                                                ­                                            
within the walls of his safety zone

Picking up the pieces of my shattered heart,                                                           ­       
                                                         ­                                                         
and feeling like I am missing a few parts                                                            ­          
                                                                ­                                                      
      that you took with you when you walked away,                                            
               ­                                                                 ­                                    
hard as I try, I can't forget that day                                                              ­          
                                                      ­                                                                
I tell myself that I'm almost over you                                                          
   ­                                                                 ­                                          
because that is what I'm being told to do                                                          
    ­                                                                 ­                                             
Deep down inside I still know the
truth                                                            ­    
                                                            ­                                                          
  and my scars are more than proof                                                            ­                
                                                ­                                                              
When I go out, I still hear your name,                                                          
 ­                                                                 ­                                      
someone wanting to know who's to blame                                                  
         ­                                                                 ­                                        
For so long we were seen as one                                                              ­      
                                                          ­                                                        
that people don't believe we are done                                                             ­         
                                                                ­                                                
They tell me things I don't want to know,                                            
                                                                ­                                              
every single word comes as a blow                                                             ­     
                                                                ­                                                     
 It must be nice to heal so easily,                                                          ­              
                                                  ­                                                        
because I miss you & it's killing me                                                               ­     
                                                                ­                                                
They say that time heals all wounds                                                          
                                                                ­                                                  
but there's a hole in my heart shaped like you

It's five in the morning & I haven't slept,                                                        
                                                                ­                                                    
Your pillow is moist from the tears that I
wept                                                             ­                                                   
             ­                                                                 ­                                        
The bed is indented from where you once
laid,                                                            ­
                                                                ­                                                        
let me in on this game that you play                                                             ­             
                                                                ­                                                          
I guess I was a fool now looking at the facts,                                                           ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­             
never thought you'd leave, or I'd want you
back                                                             ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­           
  I always told you to go if you didn't like it
here,                                                    
       ­                                                                 ­                                              
I didn't mean it to be so loud &
clear                                                          
 ­                                                                 ­                                                
We threw words like knives, hoping to wound,                                    
                                                                ­                                                
Why couldn't we had worked it out more soon                                                             ­             
                                                   ­                                                               
You never want what you have until it's gone,                                            
                                                                ­                                                
  I   have only ever wanted you, all along

How you rekindle a flame that's gone cold?                                                      
                                                                ­                                                        
                                                                ­                                                
  Play a bluff hand you know you should fold?                                                            ­          
                                                      ­                                                               
                                                                ­                                                
How do breathe life into a faded romance?                                                         ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                           
How do you know it's even worth the chance?                                                          ­                
                                                ­                                                                 ­     
Do you move on & start love anew,                                                            ­            
                                                    ­                                                                 ­   
or be true to what your hearts telling you?                                                  
                                                                ­                                                    
How do you convince someone to try again,                                                  
                                                                ­                                                  
when it's hard to even remain being friends?                                                  
      ­                                                                 ­                                         
How do you go about making the first move,                              
                                                                ­                                              
when you know they will just reject you?                                                      
      ­                                                                 ­                                            
You can tell yourself, maybe they feel the same                                                
            ­                                                                 ­                                     
but if not, you're opening up for pain                                                  
                                                                ­                                                    
So, you wait & another day goes by,                                                              ­  
                                                                ­                                                  
do you harden your heart or even try?                                                          
                                                                ­                                                 
 The longer you wait, the harder it becomes                                                          ­            
                                                                ­                                                    
till your loves gone forever, it's all come undone

Go ahead and point your finger at
me,                                                              ­    
                                                            ­                                                            
   I only reflect your own
insecurities                                                    ­                                                        
        ­                                                                 ­                                             
Call me the names that cause you
fear,                                                            ­                              
                                                                ­                                                  
afraid of what you don't want to
hear                                                             ­     
                                                                ­                                                  
Gang up on me with your group of
friends,                                                         ­ 
                                                                ­                                            
worrying that they'll turn on you in the
end                                                            
                                                                ­                                        
Persecute me & deflect from the
truth                                                        
   ­                                                                 ­                                    
convince them that you have some
proof                                                      
     ­                                                                 ­                                        
Mock how I'm comfortable in my
skin,                                                            ­                              
                                  ­                                                                 ­             
as you fight the torture from  
within                                                           ­ 
                                                               ­                                                         
I know you hate admiring me the
most                                                             ­   
                                                                ­                                                
you're in the shadows, I am your
ghost                                                      
                                                                ­                                               
  While you are taking turns hurting
  me,                                                          
­                                                                 ­                                     
remember I am who you want to be

You don't see things the way that I do,                                                              ­      
                                                          ­                                                            
that's what makes me, me and makes you, you                                                              ­  
                                                                ­                                                          
I can see beauty in so many things,                                                          ­          
                                                      ­                                                            
there are more gems than diamonds in those rings                                                            ­                
                                                                ­                                                      
Not every flower smells like a rose,                                                            ­                    
                                            ­                                                                 ­         
  you can be in a picture and not have to pose                                                        
                                                                ­                                              
Every animal is not a purebred,                                                        ­                        
                                                                ­                                            
actions are shown not in words that are said

You do not know me,                                                              ­                            
                                    ­                                                                 ­                   
too caught up in
you                                                              ­                      
                                                                ­                                                     
 and that just shows
  me                                                            ­                                    
                                                                ­                                                      
you really don't want
to                                                               ­                                 
                               ­                                                                 ­                        
So many chances
given,                                                           ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­          
as you make your excuse                                                           ­           
                                                                ­                                              
 Only one life I'm living                                                       ­                             
                                                                ­                                                      
and I feel I'm being used                                                             ­                     
                                                                ­                                               
 Why am I still with
  you?                                                          ­                  
                                                                ­                                                      
  I don't know
anymore,                                                         ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­          
I thought I loved
you                                                              ­                                
                                                                ­                                                  
but I need something more                                                             ­     
                                                                ­                                                  
  Do I make it too
easy                                                             ­                           
                                     ­                                                                 ­              
for my needs to be ignored.                                                         ­                                                       
                                                                ­                                                    
It's you I've been pleasing,                                                        ­                          
                                      ­                                                                 ­           
  you take my all and more                                                             ­                                               
                                                                ­                                            
Now empty and
depleted                                                         ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­    
  you leave me feeling blue                                                             ­                           
                                                                ­                                            
Angry and
defeated,                                                        ­                                
                                ­                                                                 ­                     
I can't keep loving you

Finally blossoming                                                       ­                                                               
 ­                                                                 ­                                                    
like a fragile flower,                                                          ­                              
                                                                ­                                                            
a rare orchid,                                                          ­                                            
                    ­                                                                 ­                                       
A reclusive butterfly                                                        ­                                          
                      ­                                                                 ­                                   
I wriggle free,                                                            ­                                          
                                                                ­                                            
breaking away,                                                            ­                                    
                                                                ­                                                  
into life, I dive,                                                            ­                                      
                          ­                                                                 ­               
gasping the air,                                                             ­                                         
                       ­                                                                 ­                      
taking it all in                                                               ­                   
                                                                ­                                          
Coming around,                                                          ­                                    
                                                                ­                                                
headfirst, wide eyed,                                                            ­                                
                                                                ­                                                        
  I come alive

After all the pain and suffering                                                        ­                  you happily put me through,                                                         ­             I  want to be accommodating                                                    ­            and  give some back to you                                                              ­          When  I cried you laughed and mocked me                                        and  then you walked away                                                             ­              Now, it's time for you to see                                                              ­             how I'm going to make you pay                                                              ­  Lately  you're saying you're sorry,                                                           ­  you  are all apologies                                                                                  but that doesn't fix how you scarred me,                                                you're a mistake I won't repeat                                                           ­               All in all I'm glad you're hurting                                                          ­               I couldn't be more  pleased                                                    ­                       Especially  when you start blurting                                                         ­                        how  you've only ever loved me

If this is the last time I see you,                                                             ­             
                                                                ­                                                
please know that you were loved                                                            ­    
                                                                ­                                                      
and is you're missing me too                                                              ­                
                                                                ­                                                    
then you can look up above                                                            ­                                                
I will always be watching,                                                        ­              
                                                  ­                                                            
making sure you're okay,                                                            ­                    
                                            ­                                                                 ­ 
                                                                ­                                              
 even though we aren't touching,                                                        ­          
                                                                ­                                                        
I'll be with you each day                                                              ­                    
                                                                ­                                                
  You were my favorite treasure                                                         ­           
                                                                ­                                                 
 that I was blessed to have                                                             ­               
                                                 ­                                                                 ­
and it was my pleasure                                                         ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­      
to guide you down life's path                                                             ­     
                                                                ­                                                        
  If you ever loved me                                                               ­                 
                                                                ­                                                
keep me in your heart                                                            ­                      
                                                                ­                                                
with your love & memories                                                         ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­        
I will never part

You wonder why I am with you                                                              ­                                         
                                                                ­                                                        
I hear you ask the reason why                                                              ­   
                                                                ­                                              
Because no one loves me like you do                                                            
                                                                ­                                                      
You make me laugh until I cry                                                              ­          
                                                      ­                                                          
There'­s no one I even think of                                                               ­           
                                                     ­                                                            
                                                                ­                                            
 When I'm with you it feels so right                                                            ­    
                                                            ­                                                            
  I love the way you love me                                                               ­             
                                                   ­                                                                 ­    
  I don't want you out of my sight                                                            ­            
                                                                ­                                              
When you wrap your arms around me                                                      
                                                                ­                                                  
pull me close & hold me tight                                                            ­      
                                                                ­                                                 
 You make me so **** happy                                                            ­            
                                                                ­                                                      
It gets me through the night                                                            ­            
                                                                ­                                              
  When we are not together                                                         ­                 
                                               ­                                                                 ­      
I close my eyes & see your face                                                             ­           
                                                                ­                                                      
I want to be with you forever                                                          ­                                        
                        ­                                                                 ­                         
No one could ever take your place

Lift me up to the highest height,                                                          ­        
                                                                ­                                                
release me, I'm a bird in flight                                                           ­         
                                                                ­                                                      
Let the Earth's beauty fill me up,                                                              ­      
                                                                ­                                                    
until I'm breathless & had enough                                                           ­             
                                                   ­                                                                 ­   
Let me soar into the azure skies,                                                           ­   
                                                                ­                                                
spread my wings so I can fly,                                                             ­           
                                                     ­                                                               
with soft wings, I sail, gliding by                                                               ­                         
                                                                ­                                    
Everything is different way up here,                                                  
                                                                ­                                                  
the beauty of life is much more clear

Every time I put my foot down,                                                            ­              
                                                                ­                                                      
you get ****** and start coming around                                                           ­             
                                                   ­                                                                 ­  
and about the time I'm on solid ground,                                                        
 ­                                                                 ­                                                    
you come back to claim your lost and found                                                          
                                                                ­                                                      
You can't stand me being on my own,                                                             ­     
                                                           ­                                                           
you hate the thought that I have grown                                                            ­                
                                                                ­                                                  
  Just like I flower I start to bloom                                                            ­                
                                                                ­                                                    
  till you get jealous & cut my roots                                                            ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­ 
  Why can't you swallow your pride,                                                           ­   
                                                                ­                                                        
  I don't need you by my side to thrive                                                           ­       
                                                                ­                                              
  You're so afraid that I have moved on                                                               ­                 
                                               ­                                                                 ­  
and have no need to bring you along                                                            ­            
                                                    ­                                                              
Let me go, you never really cared                                                            ­      
                                                                ­                                                
      until you realized I'm no longer there.

I am still a work on
progress,                                                        ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­       
some mistakes but no
regrets                                                          ­              
                                                  ­                                                            
Pushed myself through the
unknown,                                                         ­       
                                                                ­                                                 
 proud of this person &, how I've
  grown                                                         ­     
  I hold my head up, stand up
  straight                                                      ­                      
                                                                ­                                                  
doing my best, no inner debates                                                          ­            
                                                    ­                                                                
No excuses made as I forge ahead                                                      
                                                                ­                                        
Learning & changing everyday                                                         ­                 
                                                                ­                                              
loving myself, I'm on my way

Something in me has changed,                                                         ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­                   feelings have been rearranged                                                       ­                                 
                                                                ­                                            
Thought processes shifting,                                                        ­            
                                                                ­                                                      
I'm full of wishful thinking                                                         ­                           
                                     ­                                                                 ­                
I've become happy and content,                                                         ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­    
blessed, everything's heaven sent                                                             ­             
                                                   ­                                                                 ­    
A smile keeps creeping up on me,                                                              ­                                
                                                                 ­                                             
covering where a frown used to be                                                               ­   
                                                                ­                                                  
The sun has never been brighter,                                                        ­                                          
                                                                ­                                                  
my mood has never been lighter                                                          ­          
                                                                ­                                                        
I want to sing and laugh out loud,                                                            ­    
                                                                ­                                                
catch a ride on a floating cloud                                                            ­    
                                                            ­                                                            
I am in my summer
season,                                                          ­                
                                                                ­                                            
shining brightly for no reason                                                           ­       
                                                                ­                                          
Soaking up this life with greed,                                                           ­     
                                                           ­                                                             
  I­ feel like I am complete

I'm loosening the reins,                                                           ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­              
         I am letting go                                                               ­                               
                                                                ­                                                      
I'm living again,                                                           ­                                 
                                                                ­                                                      
out of your shadow                                                           ­                             
                                                                ­                                                          
I am coming up, 
                                                                ­                                                        
I have had enough
                                                                 ­                            
 This is not love,                                                            ­                              
                                                                ­                                                    
It's over for
us                                                               ­                                     
                                                                ­                                                    
I'll push you away,                                                            ­                                        
                        ­                                                                 ­                           
I'll close my heart                                                            ­                          
                                      ­                                                                 ­       
Today is the day,                                                             ­                               
                                                                ­                                                        
I get a new
start                                                           ­                                                             
   ­                                                                 ­                                          
Today the sun will shine                                                            ­                
                                                ­                                                                 ­                   
and be bright for me                                                               ­                                               
                 ­                                                                 ­                                      
   I 've found my inner light                                                            ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                            
  a healing energy

A mother cat and her babies, maybe five, maybe four                           Together all cuddling in a box on the floor                                                            ­                                                           She is so attentive, as they meow loudly,                                                          ­                                                   She gets them motivated, corrals them proudly                                                          ­                                                     A collection of soft and colorful fur                                                              ­    up safe in their loft, they snuggle and purr                                                 She eyes me watching, while cleaning them gently                                   none of them matching other than their innocent beauty

Hating you is so **** easy,                                                            ­                          
                                      ­                                                                 ­         
loving you was like my disease                                                          ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­       
I'm distancing myself so I can see,                                                          
                                                                ­                                                      
the real you and the brand new
me                                                               ­               
                                                 ­                                                                 ­
These mental walls, I've stood
behind,                                                          ­              
                                                                ­                                                    
keep you away while I clear my
mind                                                             ­                 
                                               ­                                                                 ­  
  I've kept myself on the right
track                                                            ­        
                                                        ­                                                            
and I can't afford to ever look
back                                                             ­                               
                                 ­                                                                 ­                
  You are my past all a bad
memory,                                                          ­  
                                                                ­                                                   
 loves meant to last, I deserve
cherishing                                                       ­       
                                                                ­                                                        
I thought if I gave my all to
you,                                                             ­       
                                                                ­                                                  
that you in return would do that too

Watching you skating on the ice,                                                             ­         
                                                       ­                                                            
    figure eights, so perfect, so
concise,                                                         ­       
                                                         ­                                                               
ice crystals sparkle, diamonds in the
night                                                            ­                                
                                                                ­                                                        
as your dark hair reflects the pale
moonlight                                                        ­        
                                                        ­                                                              
You are unaware that I am watching
you,                                                          
                                                                ­                                                        
as you concentrate on every
move                                                             ­       
                                                         ­                                                             
From where I am, you're doing
perfectly,                                                       ­                             
                                   ­                                                                 ­              
the only thing you're missing out there is
me                                                               ­                       
                                                                ­                                            
Woolen scarf in light green &
blue                                                             ­                   
                                                                ­                                          
  covers your face but not the
view                                                            
                                                                ­                                                        
I love to watch you spin so freely                                                           ­ 
                                                                ­                                                      
a snow globe, living & breathing                                                        ­  
                                                                ­                                                  
  You push your bangs from your
eyes                                                             ­     
                                                           ­                                                           
as you smile up at me from the
ice                                                              ­                                          
                      ­                                                                 ­                 
Mittened hand raised as you say
'hi''                                                            ­          
                                                                ­                                                    
an invitation, and nice
surprise                                                        ­                                                                 ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­          
I walk out slowly and try not to fall
down                                                        
                                                                ­                                                  
lose my footing and hit the ground                                                           ­                                   
                                                                 ­                                               
Here you come, worry etched on your
face,                                                        
                                                                ­                                                        
We start to laugh at all my
disgrace                                                         ­           
                                                     ­                                                             
You reach for me as I struggle to get
up,                                                      
       ­                                                                 ­                                             
 in your eyes, I hope I can find love

You act like I owe you something,                                                       ­                     
                                                                ­                                                      
was it a favor that you said?                                                            ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­   
Because I owe you nothing,                                                         ­                           
                                                                ­                                                      
you can get that out of your
head                                                             ­         
                                                                ­                                                      
All I see when I look at
you,                                                             ­               
                                                                ­                                                          is everything that I've been
  through                                                       ­                 
                                               ­                                                                 ­        
So, what do expect I'll do                                                               ­                         
                                       ­                                                                 ­          
when you're the person who                                                              ­                    
                                            ­                                                                 ­ 
didn't care when you made me cry,                                                             ­     
                                                                ­                                            
walked away with hate filled eyes                                                             ­     
                                                                ­                                              
Every single time I tried                                                            ­                              
                                                                ­                                                
  you killed what was left
inside                                                           ­             
                                                                ­                                            
Funny how things turned around                                                           ­               
                                                                ­                                                  
ever since I stood my
ground                                                           ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­      
You never thought I could                                                            ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­     
even though you knew I should                                                           ­             
                                                                ­                                                 
 You will no longer hold me down                                                             ­             
                                                                 ­                                                 
  my eyes are wide open now

I've been running around trying to change                                                      
    ­                                                                 ­                                              
   but found one mold doesn't always fit                                                              ­            
                                                                ­                                                
There's not a lot I can do about being strange                                                          ­              
                                                  ­                                                                 ­       
it is what it is & that is this,                                                            ­                        
                                        ­                                                                 ­               
I may not have the typical family,                                                          ­      
                                                                ­                                                      
I'm not ashamed of being me,                                                              ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­     
there's no reason for trying to be,                                                              ­              
                                                  ­                                                          
someone else other than me                                                               ­               
                                                                ­                                                      
I might not share your point of view,                                                  
         ­                                                                 ­                                    
that's because I'm me, not you                                                              ­            
                                                    ­                                                                 ­  
If we were to act exactly the same,                                                      
     ­                                                                 ­                                              
we may as well all have the same name                                                             ­           
                                                     ­                                                             
You­ might not like how I carry myself                                                  
        ­                                                                 ­                                               
but I don't want to be like everyone
else                                                          
                                                                ­                                                      
I like the differences I see in me,                                                              ­        
                                                                ­                                                      
I am not a clone or a wanna
be                                                               ­       
                                                         ­                                                         
You can point at me in judgement,                                                       ­                                   
                             ­                                                                 ­            
pretend you are heaven sent                                                             ­   
                                                             ­                                                     
But I know I have common sense,                                                           ­       
                                                         ­                                                             
I don't want to live a life as someone I resent

I open up my window & shades                                                           ­           
                                                                ­                                                      
and let the fresh air rush in                                                               ­                   
                                                                ­                                                      
Feel the sun's warmth on my face,                                                            ­    
                                                            ­                                                          
get ready for the day to begin                                                            ­                    
                                                                ­                                                  
Smell the fresh cut grass                                                            ­                          
                                      ­                                                                 ­               
see it's covered in dew                                                              ­                    
                                            ­                                                                 ­             
  a lemon lime zest draft,                                                           ­                       
                                                                ­                                                     
  I drink in the view                                                             ­                                         
                       ­                                                                 ­                          
The birds are outside singing,                                                         ­                   
                                                                ­                                                        
the tree's rustling in the breeze                                                           ­               
                                                 ­                                                                 ­
All the while I'm saying                                                           ­                   
                                             ­                                                               
Thank you, God, it's heavenly