I am a big fan of strange                                                          ­                  I don't  want people to ever change                                                           ­      I  love  it when they are weird                                                            ­       they  won't tell you  what you want to hear                                                 Quirky is beautiful to me                                                               ­       it  tells  me that they are free                                                             ­     Loners  attract me                                                               ­                             like flowers and honeybees                                                        ­   Their  emotions are intriguing                                                       ­             I wonder what they are thinking                                                         ­              Their  poems speak of individuality ,fate                                             of destiny and hate                                                             ­                          Like  two peas in the pod,                                                                        they  are  just like me , a little odd

Ladies and Gentlemen can I have your attention                                                        ­                                                  I  am  about to ascend to the fifth dimension                                                        ­                                                Me  and  the world all interconnected                                                   ­                My  whole life being redirected                                                       ­     Moving  in between possibilities                                                    ­       living  in alternate realities                                                        ­           In  a  state of pure tranquility                                                      ­              with  twenty twenty visibility                                                       ­                  I  am going to control my destiny                                                          ­      Live my life with brevity

You have torn me up                                                               ­                  you  have torn me down                                                             ­              and  I have  had enough                                                           ­          of  this  merry-go-round                                       ­                      You  asked  for space                                                            ­               you  asked  for time                                                             ­                                  A  slap  in the face                                                             ­                                   you   used  it to  undermine                                                    ­                   But  patience  brings power                                                            ­             and  I 'm  coming into mine                                                             ­     Just  because  you yell louder                                                           ­                     doesn't  make you right

It seemed like old times again                                                            ­       we  talked and let our hearts mend                                                          Just  to have time with you                                                              ­        was  what I needed from you                                                              ­        Every time that I've decided to                                                                throw  my hands up, you do you                                                              you  turn around and  you surprise me                                                           with  your kindness that I miss deeply                                               That  tiny hug before you left                                                             ­    reminded  me not to give up on you yet                                                              ­                                                              I  wish  we could go back to                                                               ­               a  relationship between me and you

I think me and you would have been okay                                                             ­                                                                 ­                         until  you  let  your  ego get in the way                                      Playing  two  against one just isn't fair,                                                            ­       I  can't  believe I got out of that webbed snare                                                            ­                                                     where everything was a challenge, up for  debate                                                      ­                                         It  made  all of  my resentment turn into hate                                                             ­                                            I'm  so  glad I made my great escape                                                           ­             give  you both time to get you stories straight

I bought an antique onyx ring                                                             ­            and something about it was beguiling                                                         from every inch of the etching                                                          ­       inlaid in its tarnished filigree                                                         ­                      It beckoned and kind of lured me                                                           holding me captive with its beauty                                                          As  soon as I held it in my hand                                                             ­        my  mind slowed down like falling sand                                                   surrounding  me  in  a dream like state                                                           I  saw the  previous owner, I saw her face                                               Within those few seconds for me                                            a  woman's  voice said, this was meant to be                                            That  I didn't pick it accidently                                                       ­              but  had always been a part of me                                                              I  looked inside and saw so clearly                                                          ­  my  initials engraved so mysteriously

You are emotionally vacant                                                           ­           there  is no life in your eyes                                                             ­   Even  from a slight distance                                                         ­     it's  something you can't disguise                                                       Like  a stone wall, so cold                                                             ­         you're  not even warm to the touch                                                        It's  like you're being controlled                                                       ­     and  it's  become way too much                                                             ­            No  tears, no smiles, no sighs                                                            ­       Is  there anyone home inside?

The sun boasted of romance's it had seen                                                             ­                                                               during  the previous summers of love                                          For there  have been many a young teen                                                             ­                                                            who fit that description like a glove                                                            Shining down to sun-kiss  pale skin                                                             ­     like a fourth of July firecracker sparklin'                                                        ­   Heating  up the fires that burn within                                                      Summer romances on the horizon                                                          ­           The lazy days and the long nights                                                           ­  staying  out  late by the bonfire light                                                            ­ The magic of romance ,touching your life                                                Feel  the rush and come alive

This is the ripple effect of your actions                                                  after  putting on a show like a circus attraction                                                       ­                                      starting  with in- fighting that scorches then burns                                                            ­                                                making sure we all get  to take a turn                                                             ­  under the guise of lessons we need to learn                                                    then  expecting forgiveness that isn't earned                                              Acting  like  you  have all the information                                                      to  judge and steer all the conversations                                                 So  sure your manipulation isn't seen                                                             ­  making sure your hands stay clean                                                            ­ Starting  gossip  ,spreading false rumors                                                              you  are just like every other abuser                                                           ­    It  took me a while, but I can see                                                              ­ you  are living in a ****** up reality                                                When  you die alone ,and you will be                                                               ­              exactly where you deserve to be

You are knee deep in your toxicity                                                         ­  hoping your hate will steep into me                                                               ­   Submerged  so far that you can't see                                                           that you are no longer affecting me                                                      As  much as it gives you pleasure                                                         ­    I'm  not cracking under your pressure                                                     Life's  lessons weren't made to break me                                             An  army of you couldn't shake me                                                         So  brace yourself for your karmic storm                                                             that's  been churning in you since you were born

I thought that you were hard to read                                                             ­   I thought I misunderstood your energy                                                              I had hoped you were my twin flame                                                          now I see I am a pawn in your game                                                          I  almost wish I never saw the truth in you                                                but  the receipts of deceit are written all over you                                                              ­                                               The  only thing that has been consistent                                                       ­    is  the lack of a real commitment                                                       ­              I've  been doing some checks and balances                                                         ­                                                     as you've become a mountain of challenges                                                       ­                                          You  only continue to be a disappointment                                                   ­                     a  pest, a flea, a fly in my ointment

So, you're finally seeing the truth,                                                           ­         more aware of what's happening with you                                                      You don't have to dress up the hurt,                                                            ­    or rub your wounds with salt or dirt                                                            I've seen you in confusion and despair,                                                feeling like you can't be repaired                                                                  Seek spiritual purification                                                     ­                            not more time in isolation                                                        ­                    find  your purpose and redefine it                                                             center yourself, then seek refinement                                                       ­            This is the dark night of your soul                                                         face yourself or be swallowed whole

You've changed so much, I don't recognize you                                                              ­                                                          We're  so out of touch, maybe I changed, not you                                                              ­                                                            You don't want me to grow, you know it's true                                                             ­                                                           but I already know you don't want me to outgrow you

In my efforts to escape your issues,                                                          I'm  left tarnished with the residue                                                          ­                 I gathered up any grace I could salvage                                                       before my heart became more ravaged                                                          ­ I  would rather be humbled than crumbled                                                         ­                                            from  all of the weight of your struggles

Nothing can grow in the darkness                                                         ­            and that's why you've become so heartless                                                        ­                                             In  hibernation licking wounds of rejection                                       unable  to face your mirrored reflection                                               You've  planted poison ivy in your garden of pain                                                             ­                                           that  flourished turning the vines into chains                                now  you've grown with roots so deep                                                           unable to sow, unable to reap

When you disrespected our connection,                                                    I  took my love in another direction                                                   Leaving  you lost in your confusion,                                                       ­  left  you to drown in your delusions                                                        ­         I  did my best to remain  positive,                                                ­    despite you creating  a false narrative                                                        ­ Trying to make others see your side,                                                     while  operating from  a sense of pride                                             I  compromised all of my values,                                                          ­     while  you left me to be without  you                                                      planning that in my despair,                                                         ­                        I'd run to you hoping you still cared                                                            ­        You did your best to keep me down,                                                            ­ but now you're looking like the clown                                                     because  of your warped bid for attention                                                        ­               you broke us with your  selfish intentions

I guess we have both taken turns                                                            ­ dealing  with and receiving life's burns                                                           but there are some that have with no excuse                                            you've broken me with your abuse                                                                 An easy target, I was so insecure                                                         ­              I'd had more heartache than I could endure                                                       I thought I had found a soulmate in you                                                 not  someone who'd break my heart in two                                              Even though  it was never earned                                                           ­ I  received another scar from life's burns

The breeze is blowing gently                                                           ­          moving the grapes on the vines                                                            ­           The moon is shining brightly                                                         ­                    as you put your hand in mine                                                             ­             the  fireflies surround us                                                               ­              with  neon yellow lights                                                           ­                     and  I can't get enough of  you                                                          ­                on  this perfect night                                                            ­                         The  sweet smell of honeysuckle                                                      ­  lingers  in the warm night air                                                              ­              I  can feel my knees buckle                                                           ­         under the weight of your stare                                                            ­ The  crickets are trilling                                                         ­                          just for you and I                                                                ­                               My heart is beating wildly                                                           ­                 on  this perfect night

In the ocean of life, I'm caught up in the waves                                        and they come crashing down on me every day                                                              ­                                                         Sometimes I can swim with it and stay above                                                            ­                                                       all  of the negativity it's made of                                                               ­    There  are the days where I almost drown,                                                           ­                                          everything in life is weighing me down                                                             ­                                                      I  reach for my life line, reach for hope,                                                            ­   but there's no one there at the end of the rope                                            Weather beaten tired and torn                                                             ­                 I am caught up in life's storm

In the heat of the moment, you want to break their heart                                                            ­                                                             Every word said is meant to break their heart                                                            ­                                                         Words are thrown like knives, aimed at their self-esteem                                                      ­                                                                A fight for who's right ,a dramatic scene                                                            ­                                                          Tempers  are boiling, about to reach its peak                                                             ­                                                           tears spill down hot flushed cheeks                                                           ­        A free for all to win ,if it hurts you lose                                                         take all that pain within and tighten the noose                                                  While all this goes down, your hatred's running free                                and  you forget that what goes around comes  back times three

Going through hell and it's going through me,                                                              ­                                                        afraid  to go on or stop completely                                                       ­   I trudge through this place, pain etched on my face                           The  devil is happy today                                                            ­                Want  to end it all and I want it all to end                                                              ­                                                               No  one to turn to, no loyal friends                                                          ­            I am going to break, I can no longer bend                                                             ­                                                  The  devil is happy today                                                            ­                  I  have depression, depression has me                                                               like a black cloud with no silver lining                                                           ­    taking me in ,all-encompassing                                                ­                      The devil is happy today                                                            ­                           I look in the mirror and hate who I see ,                                                             someone I don't recognize as me                                                               ­       I have no purpose, I'm a tragedy                                                          ­            The devil is happy today

After all the pain and suffering                                                        ­                  you happily put me through,                                                         ­             I  want to be accommodating                                                    ­            and  give some back to you                                                              ­          When  I cried you laughed and mocked me                                        and  then you walked away                                                             ­              Now, it's time for you to see                                                              ­             how I'm going to make you pay                                                              ­  Lately  you're saying you're sorry,                                                           ­  you  are all apologies                                                                                  but that doesn't fix how you scarred me,                                                you're a mistake I won't repeat                                                           ­               All in all I'm glad you're hurting                                                          ­               I couldn't be more  pleased                                                    ­                       Especially  when you start blurting                                                         ­                        how  you've only ever loved me

A handful of wildflowers                                                      ­                picked for you by me                                                               ­                   in  the colors of rainbows                                                         ­                showcasing natures beauty                                                           ­   with   scents so fragrant                                                         ­                enhanced by the sunlight                                                         ­                  it  fills the air with magic                                                            ­                       and fills me with pure delight

Emotions on paper,                                                           ­                                 letting  it all out                                                          ­                                   Just  like a falling tear,                                                            ­                                  it's quieter than a shout                                                            ­       Raining  and raging,                                                          ­                        get  out of my head                                                             ­                                    There  is no caging,                                                          ­                                    this hunger needs fed                                                              ­                     Freeing and cleansing,                                                       ­                              washing it all away                                                             ­                              This is never ending,                                                          ­                                    a ritual I do every day                                                              ­                   Scribbling  in pencil,                                                          ­                           I'm  pressured to get it out                                                              ­           I know it's only mental,                                                          ­                        but quieter than a shout

Self-medicating, trying not to feel                                                             ­finding life difficult and unable to deal                                                Searching for something that appeals                                                          ­disappointed  when nothing is revealed                                                      Closing my eyes, I stomach the pain                                                          resentment and anger takes over my brain                                                    Go and ask anybody ,they'll say the same                                                             ­                                                          we are all just pawns in life's twisted game                                                     We go through the motions ,a smile on our face                                                             ­                                                            pretending like life hasn't lost it taste

You set my whole world ablaze                                                           ­         just  so you could have your way                                                              ­        Burned a path right through me                                                              leaving me scorched in deceit                                                           ­         Threw stagnant water on the pain                                                             ­      while treating me with disdain                                                          ­             The tyrant king of his kingdom                                                          ­                 I bear the wounds of your wisdom                                                           ­     Fragments  of me shattered easily                                                           ­          with a  forced smile ,I'd agree                                                            ­          anything just to keep the peace                                                            ­          and it was killing me, crushing me                                                                    It took this new version of me                                                               ­           to really see I was out of your league

I used to be afraid that you would leave                                                            ­                                               but  now it is a sense of relief                                                           ­                I  spent so much of my energy                                                           ­    trying  to be what you wanted me to be                                                   I  found out after you'd gone                                                             ­            you weren't  anyone I could count on                                                               ­    If  nothing else it made me strong                                                           ­ because  I always had been doing it alone                                                   I  realize that my true happiness                                                        ­         is  up to me and not anyone else                                                             ­            who  I am and who I want to be                                                               comes  from the power that's inside of me

Here are the wings you need to take flight                                                           ­                                                     Guard your heart like you do your life                                                             ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­ Say your prayers, thank God every night                                                          Let your love shine, it's your light                                                            ­           A smile is the first thing people see                                                              ­ Live your life free and happily                                                          ­  Treat others like you'd like to be                                                               Don't just look around but truly see                                                              ­  Live each day like it's your last                                                             ­           Live in the present, not in the past

I was faced with a choice when I met you                                                    you came in with an X and were someone new                                                              ­                                                              I was with a guy, but I wanted you                                                              ­ now I pay the price for breaking all the rules                                                     I broke the heart of a good man                                                              ­    didn't see him in my future plans                                                            ­      but **** ,the lessons I have learned                                                          ­   loving you was like being burned                                                           ­      I had never loved anyone before                                                           ­             gave you my all and so much more                                                                        I gave more than I could afford                                                           ­     until I finally shut that door                                                             ­                    I wonder who I could have been                                                             ­               I know now that we weren't meant                                                            ­        I worked so hard to be your number one                                             when I was already that to someone

Today I woke up so depressed,                                                       ­                   so I took the day to rest                                                             ­                            I think it's time I hit reset                                                            ­                    change my whole mind set                                                              ­                   The sun came up anyway                                                           ­                            So I made some plans for the day                                                                         I needed to get up and get away                                                             ­keeping my demons at bay                                                              ­                        I decided to go for a walk                                                             ­                        It's time God and I had a talk                                                             ­            and just getting outside                                                          ­                      left me feeling alive inside                                                          Dear God,  thank you so much                                                             You  make me feel good enough                                                           ­                As  I stand in the sunlight                                                         ­                             I feel like I'm in your spotlight                                                        ­               You hear me every time I cry                                                              ­          you dry my tears now I know why                                                              ­      You  are the only person who                                                              ­           can make me feel  this brand new

I felt safe in my depression                                                       ­                          all black with no sharp edges

I see the narcissist in you                                                              ­                       so strategic in your moves                                                            ­     manipulated I Love You's                                                            ­                 used to pull me closer to you                                                                             So many secrets you couldn't tell                                                             ­      kept them hidden very well                                                             ­          While I was busy weathering the tide                                                                 it had kept the enemy by my side                                                             ­         You loved me from your ego and pride                                                 knowing I was your ride or die                                                                             I had to pull back on my emotions                                                         ­          step out of that turbulent ocean                                                            ­        God had blessed me discernment                                                      ­     pulled me from the riptide current                                                          ­   Regaining control of the true me                                                             opening up an ocean of possibilities

At night when I close my eyes                                                             ­               there are no songs, no lullaby's                                                        ­                    I transport myself and my mind                                                                         to a peaceful place and time                                                             ­                   to sooth myself to fall asleep                                                           ­                in hopes of having beautiful dreams                                                                  I imagine that I can fly                                                              ­                    envision it in my third eye                                                              ­                      I see the tree tops from the sky                                                              ­           The highest heights I can fly                                                              ­          when I spread my bird-like wings                                                            ­           I can see the world, everything                                                       ­                    flowers, leaves and greenery                                                         ­              I feel alive I feel at peace                                                            ­            as sleep washes over me

I am not getting any younger                                                          ­                                                                                                         ­                     but deep inside I still have a hunger                                                           ­      to live, love and dream                                                            ­                                  so many places to go                                                               ­                        so many people to know                                                             ­       with so much in between                                                          ­                     I don't want to live forever                                                                            and will never say never                                                            ­                        For only God knows my time                                                             ­                so no matter what you say                                                              ­        I'll cherish each day                                                              ­                             like it's the last day of my life

Lies can be told without words                                                            ­                   silence is still loudly heard

Mold me, mend me, help me swallow my pride,                                                           ­                                                                 ­                                                      smooth out my edges, cleanse me inside                                                     Polish me shiny make me look brand new                                                    Help me to see a better point of view                                                             ­     Sew up the torn spots with strong string                                                             Help me to listen before speaking                                                         ­               Heal all the blackness that lives inside                                                           ­     Fill me with love until the emptiness dies                                                 Shine down with a light I can't ignore                                                           Tell me how to think after and before                                                           ­ Make me a person you will be proud of                                                            one that can cry or can be tough                                                            ­  I am only human, I need your touch                                                            ­               Thank you God, Thank you so much

Those nostalgic Saturdays                                                        ­                         and now lonesome Sunday nights                                                           ­    Thoughts of our yesterdays                                                       ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­    the fire that it still ignites                                                          ­                          I have too much time on my hands                                                            ­    that I spend on missing you                                                              ­         Things no one would understand                                                       ­        nobody but me and you                                                              ­                    I wonder where you are tonight                                                          ­               if you're missing me too                                                              ­                      So, I am wishing on this star so bright                                                           ­                 that you are thinking of me too

I wish I could see you                                                                                       wish you could see me                                                               ­                           One last time before you                                                              ­                     left me for an eternity                                                         ­                                   I miss your smiling face                                                             ­                        the love you gave freely                                                           ­                              I wish there was a place                                                            ­                         that you and I could meet                                                             ­                         I still feel you around me                                                               ­                 like it was yesterday                                                        ­                      Your aura surrounds me                                                               ­                        and leads me the right way                                                              ­                     I still catch myself trying                                                           ­                          to make you proud of me                                                               ­                  and when I feel like crying                                                           ­                    thoughts of you are comforting                                                       ­                          I know that someday                                                          ­                      I will see you once again                                                       ­                  but  until that day                                                              ­                                   nothing will be as it had been

Your conflicting emotions                                                         ­                          are like the surf of the ocean                                                            ­                  Sometimes you  rush onto shore                                                            ­          inviting and lukewarm                                                         ­                          Other times you are dark blue                                                             ­             the sun can't even get through                                                          ­               On the days you let me swim                                                             ­               feel your warmth on my skin                                                             ­      heated up by the sun above                                                            ­       Jumping right into your love                                                             ­      splashing up all over me                                                               ­               soothing and enveloping                                                                  ­        I close my eyes and float away                                                             ­                I lose myself in you those days

I am cleansing my soul                                                             ­                        with every word I write                                                            ­                       Sins that have swallowed me whole                                                            ­feelings that I'm not quite right                                                            ­        Thoughts are spilling out of me                                                               ­      ones I've protected carefully                                                        ­               Words I have never said  out loud                                                             ­           Churn in me like a funnel cloud                                                            ­              I can confess anything I please                                                           ­          the only one who reads it is me

My hands are not steady,                                                          ­                                                                 ­                                                               and weights are on my heart                                                            ­                   my shoulders feel heavy,                                                                                  and I am falling apart                                                            ­                                 I don't know you anymore,                                                         ­                        You are a stranger to me,                                                              ­                     What are we talking for?                                                             ­                                                 You're not even listening

I could choose to tell you what I still remember                                                         ­                                                   but my wounds aren't healed, and my heart is tender                                                           ­                                                         Just because it's unspoken doesn't mean it's gone                                                             ­                                                              I relive each day as if it were the only one                                                         There's no tears you'd notice, my eyes are dry                                                It doesn't mean I'm better, It's just that I try                                                      I don't want your looks of pity but don't ignore me,                               don't leave me alone with my thoughts too frequently                                 If you can stand by my side and hold my hand                                           take my late night calls, you'd understand,                                                      ­               I haven't changed at all ,I'm still me                                                 but for now ,I'd rather not speak                                                            ­         Knowing that you're here and will always be                                         means you understood me perfectly                                                        ­          I choose not to share, it's all still too real                                                   So, if it's okay, I still need time to heal                                                             ­         It might not be tomorrow, surely not today                                                        I only know   how to do this, my way

No love is known where no love is shown

''How are you doing today?''                                                         ­       sad  and depressed I want to say                                                              ­         but instead I mask up, so they can see                                                              ­ a picture from a fashion magazine                                                         ­                                                                 ­                                                                   I straighten my back and stand tall,                                                            ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­  not even sure I can pull it off                                                              ­               a pasted smile on my face                                                             ­                      as I lean in for an awkward embrace                                                         during this time, you talk to me                                                                  ­                                                                 ­                                                                unaware of my anxiety                                                          ­                                                                 ­                                                             My eyes scan the room to see,                                                             ­        where's the nearest exit between you & me                                                               ­                                                                 ­                                                               You go on & on, it never ends,                                                            ­        you're touching me like a long lost friend                                                  I excuse myself to the ladies                                                           ­                      look behind to see if you see me                                                                    then I run out trying to breathe,                                                         ­          hoping no door alarm's telling on me                                                              As soon as the cool night  air welcomes me                                                         I run until I am home safely

If I could gather all my energy , like a lightning bolt, one thousand degrees                                                          ­                                                         I'd send it your way ASAP, then I'd pull you right into me                                                               ­                                                        Light a million fires till you say, a real I love you, everyday                                                         ­                                                     make you look me in the eyes ,look into my soul                                                             ­                                                            warm up your heart that has grown cold

I closed my eyes, held my hands up high,                                                            ­                                                      asked the Lord to stay by my side                                                             ­         I  am in pain and I can't decide                                                                  ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­what to do no matter how hard I try,                                                           ­                                                                                                             ­                  gave him all of my guilt and sorrow                                                           ­         asked for peace for a better tomorrow                                                         ­                                                                 ­                                                                  asked him to fill me with his bright white light                                                                  ­                                                                 ­     prayed he would watch over me at night                                                            ­                                                                I sat like that for a long time,                                                                              ­        easing the strain  of my troubled mind                                                       I felt peace wash over me                                                               ­              cleansing my pain, my anxiety                                                          ­                                                                 ­                                                                   When life's problems are too much to bear                                                 hold up your hands, he'll be there                                                     holding your hand, giving you strength,                                                        ­  all of God's love,  within an arm's length

There comes a time in your life, when you have to face all you've done                                                             ­                                                        Have you tasted it, taken a bite, or crossed off your list, a single one?                                                             ­                                                         Are you living each day like it lasts because life goes so fast,                                                            ­                                                              so I like to do more often than not, sit myself down and straight talk                                                             ­                                                                You can't change or live in the past, it dims life's light with the shadow it casts                                                                                            ­                                It humbles me and makes me aware, love is garden that needs care                                                             ­                                                            It's so easy to build up a wall  ,impossible to scale it keeps out all  ,                                                           ­                                                            once you feel no one's there, remember you shunned all who cared                                                            ­                                                             Life is fleeting and love is strong, both must be given freely to work along                                                            ­                                                               I have seen it  many times,  life and love withering on the vine

Love is like a rare flower, it possesses a power                                                            ­                                                 Drawing you in, luringly, beautiful but needs nurturing                         from a distance we can see all  of its outer beauty                                                           ­                                                      something we crave, something we need                                                             ­                                                          we drink it in so greedily ,but few can grow it properly

A mother cat and her babies, maybe five, maybe four                           Together all cuddling in a box on the floor                                                            ­                                                           She is so attentive, as they meow loudly,                                                          ­                                                   She gets them motivated, corrals them proudly                                                          ­                                                     A collection of soft and colorful fur                                                              ­    up safe in their loft, they snuggle and purr                                                 She eyes me watching, while cleaning them gently                                   none of them matching other than their innocent beauty

You know that smile that reaches your eyes,                                                            ­                                                                                                              ­                                                        one  saved for love, the one for  surprise                                                    ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­               the one that's reserved, for no one but me                                                               ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­            like my favorite dessert, made especially