We've been together, forever it seems,                                                           ­   
                                                                ­                                                      
  and all that time, I've been lying,                                                           ­           
                                                     ­                                                                 ­  
or at least I have led you to believe,                                                         ­         
                                                                ­                                                             that I'll give you my love selflessly                                                       ­                 
                                               ­                                                                 ­  
Never asking for a thing in return,                                                    
                                                                ­                                                
followed you through hell, even as I burned                                                           ­           
                                                                ­                                                  
But I have finally seen the light,                                                           ­         
                                                       ­                                                           
you were never worthy of this plight                                                           ­         
                                                                ­                                                        
I asked for nothing and it's what I received,                                                        ­                                  
                              ­                                                                 ­                   
you have taken my all, ruining me                                                          
                                                                ­                                                        
  I never felt I had any real worth,                                                           ­     
                                                                ­                                                        
I thought that your hatred was deserved                                                         ­             
                                                                ­                                                
With no self-esteem, it was so easy,                                                            ­                                
                                                                ­                                                      
to hold me down, my throat under your knee                                                          
                                                                ­                                                      
It wasn't until I struggled to be free                                                            
                                                                ­                                                  
that I saw what you were doing to me

Hating you is so **** easy,                                                            ­                          
                                      ­                                                                 ­         
loving you was like my disease                                                          ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­       
I'm distancing myself so I can see,                                                          
                                                                ­                                                      
the real you and the brand new
me                                                               ­               
                                                 ­                                                                 ­
These mental walls, I've stood
behind,                                                          ­              
                                                                ­                                                    
keep you away while I clear my
mind                                                             ­                 
                                               ­                                                                 ­  
  I've kept myself on the right
track                                                            ­        
                                                        ­                                                            
and I can't afford to ever look
back                                                             ­                               
                                 ­                                                                 ­                
  You are my past all a bad
memory,                                                          ­  
                                                                ­                                                   
 loves meant to last, I deserve
cherishing                                                       ­       
                                                                ­                                                        
I thought if I gave my all to
you,                                                             ­       
                                                                ­                                                  
that you in return would do that too

If you leave me right now,                                                             ­                                 
                               ­                                                                 ­                  
there will be no going
back                                                            ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                   
So, don't think that
somehow,                                                         ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­            
it will be as simple as
that                                                             ­                           
                                                                ­                                                        
I'll have to harden my
  heart                                                         ­                         
                                       ­                                                                 ­              
and be stone cold to
you                                                              ­                    
                                            ­                                                              
  because once we're
apart,                                                           ­                                         
                       ­                                                                 ­                                
  I am going to be
through                                                          ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­         
I will have to move past,                                                            ­            
                                                                ­                                                    
all the lies that you told                                                             ­                     
                                                                ­                                                  
and to face up at last that,                                                            ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­             
I loved you heart and soul                                                             ­                                                                 ­      
  I can feel the distance,                                                        ­                      
                                          ­                                                                
­  between us even
now,                                                             ­                                 
                                                                ­                                                    
so, don't think persistence                                                      ­                                              
                                                                ­                                                  
will turn this back around                                                           ­                         
                                                                ­                                                  
  I'm moving out and moving
up                                                               ­                                       
                         ­                                                                 ­                                          
  and I am going to do
me                                                               ­                       
                                                                ­                                                        
  I won't string you along,                                                           ­               
                                                                ­                                                    
  or mourn you endlessly                                                        ­                    
                                            ­                                                                 ­   
  From the look on your
face,                                                            ­                        
                                                                ­                                                 
 you wanted to see me
cry                                                              ­                                      
                                                                ­                                                  
but your love will leave no
trace                                                            ­                        
  I guess this is good-bye

You are back at my front door,                                                            ­          
                                                      ­                                                                
the one you slammed the year before,                                                          ­              
                                                                ­                                                    
with flowers and your, I love You's,                                                           ­                                     
                                                                ­                                                      
like you believe that I still love you too                                                              ­                     
                                                                ­                                                      
but all the words that you say,                                                             ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                           
have lost their meaning along the
  way                                                              ­      
                                                                ­                                                     
Sorry, I know the real
truth,                                                           ­             
                                                                ­                                                
that she's broken up with
you,                                                            ­                                                             
so, you're checking in on number two,                                                             ­                                                                                                                    ­                                               
how many more have you gone
too?                                                            ­                                                     
                                                                ­                                                  
You aren't man enough to love
 anyone,                                                        ­    
                                                            ­                                                        
 let alone us both, you're still a
 con                                                            ­                                            
                                                                ­                                              
 Even if I was desperate, you wouldn't
  be                                                            ­                
                                                                ­                                            
  someone I would take back
  willingly                                                        ­        
                                                                ­                                                 
 The year that I have been here
  alone,                                                        ­                                                                                  ­                                                       
  I have healed and I have
  grown,                                                        ­      
                                                          ­                                                           
  so, I suggest you go find number
  three,                                                        ­                                      
                                                                ­                                              
  inflict your twisted love on
  somebody                                                      ­                    
                                            ­                                                                 ­           
  I hope she figures you out from the
  start                                                         ­         
                                                       ­                                                           
  the­n turns around and breaks your heart

You've taken me down a dark road,                                                            ­                
                                                                ­                                                      
one that only the devil knows,                                                           ­     
                                                                ­                                          
deceiving me and lying all the way, 
                                                                                                                ­         
I followed you, blinded by love                                                                  ­               
something you know nothing
of.                                                              ­    
                                                            ­                                                           
I found out too little too
late                                                             ­             
                                                                ­                                                    
At first you were so sweet,                                                           ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­  
swept me right off my feet                                                             ­                     
                                                                ­                                          
Looking back, that was your plan                                                             ­               
                                                 ­                                                               
How quickly you have
turned,                                                          ­                          
                                      ­                                                                 ­   
burning me with words that hurt                                                             ­                 
                                                                ­                                          
Blaming me for all you
can                                                              ­                            
                                    ­                                                                 ­           
Once you had taken from me,                                                              ­          
                                                      ­                                                            
any amount of self-esteem                                                      ­                            
                                    ­                                                                 ­             
You had tethered me to you                                                              ­              
                                                  ­                                                          
Telling me to never trust,                                                           ­                         
                                       ­                                                                 ­              
to only believe in your love                                                             ­               
                                                                ­                                                        
I loved you & you loved you too

You say, I don't pay attention,                                                       ­                           
                                     ­                                                                 ­                    
  I say, I don't have to listen,                                                          ­                              
                                                                ­                                                        
   You say, I talk all the
time,                                                            ­                                              
                                                                ­                                              
   I say, you never pay me no mind                                                             ­        
                                                        ­                                                              
  You say, I need sometime
  alone,                                                        ­                                      
                          ­                                                                 ­                             
I say, you never call me on the phone,                                                           ­                       
                                                                ­                                                        
I say, I think we need a break,                                                           ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­       
   You say, I never give, I only
take,                                                            ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­             
I say, I'm not happy anymore,                                                         ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­    
You say, well, right there's the door,                                                            ­      
                                                                ­                                                        
  I say, my final good-bye,                                                        ­                          
                                      ­                                                                 ­           
You say, you never even tried

Tell me, how does it feel to be,                                                              ­                  
                                              ­                                                             
  swimming in your toxic
acidity                                                          ­      
                                                          ­                                                            
An entire ocean of
negativity                                                       ­                                       
                         ­                                                                 ­                            
and you're in deeper than six
feet                                                             ­   
                                                                ­                                                
Trying to throw shade on
me,                                                              ­                                
                                ­                                                                 ­                 
  while I stand in my divine
energy                                                           ­                       
                                                                ­                                                
  Knee deep in your karmic despair,                                                         ­               
                                                                ­                                                  
  will you go anywhere from
there?                                                           ­     
                                                                ­                                                
  Have you learned any lessons at
all?                                                            
                                                                ­                                                  
  Will you drown or will you
fall?                                                            ­        
                                                        ­                                                          
  You always fear of being
judged,                                                          ­                  
                                              ­                                                                
  you'd rather have a ******
smudge                                                           ­           
                                                     ­                                                       
Staying hidden in your
disguise                                                         ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­    
starting with a foundation of lies                                                   
                                                                ­                                                
Clap back, you only get what you give                                                             ­                             
                                   ­                                                                 ­                
as I'm finding a better way to live

I give too much to everyone else,                                                            ­                    
                                                                ­                                                  
I don't save anything for myself                                                           ­                           
                                     ­                                                                 ­                  
so, I end up empty as a
shell                                                            ­                
                                                                ­                                            
resenting the takers & myself as
well                                                             ­         
                                                                ­                                                        
I open my mouth the words come
out,                                                             ­       
                                                         ­                                                                 ­
  I need to please, what's that
  about?                                                        ­                    
                                                                ­                                              
When the time comes to do the
deed,                                                            ­    
                                                            ­                                                            
  I'm overwhelmed if I don't meet their
needs                                                  
         ­                                                                 ­                                      
  Why can't I take, why can't I
receive?                                                         ­       
                                                         ­                                                       
Why can't I feel a little
greed?                                                           ­                   
                                                                ­                                                        
I have wants, I have
needs                                                            ­                      
                                                                ­                                                  
Sure there's a reason deep down inside                                                           ­         
                                                       ­                                                         
  some under lying purpose of why I,                                                               ­                                                      
                                                                ­                                                
don't feel I deserve the pleasure                                                         ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                    
of someone who treats me better                                                           ­                                                 
                                                                ­                                            
Maybe I just need to be
needed,                                                          ­        
                                                                ­                                                
that's why the cycle keeps being repeated

You've caused me pain and disappointment,                                            
                                                                ­                                                    
     time and again and in that
 moment,                                                        ­                
                                                ­                                                                 ­       
  I want to hurt you and see you writhe,                                              
                                                                ­                                                  
  make you feel no one 's on your
  side                                                          ­                                          
  Walk away when you reach out to
me,                                                             ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                   
Bare my teeth and make you bleed                                                            ­          
                                                                ­                                              
Show you my love
inconsistently,                                                  ­                                          
                      ­                                                                 ­                             
let you feel how you treat
me                                                               ­             
                                                                ­                                            
Ignore you when you try to
engage,                                                          ­                      
                                                                ­                                               
stomp my feet and not act my
age                                                              ­                  
                                                                ­                                                 
      Point my finger at you so I can
blame,                                                           ­                                         
                                                                ­                                                  
tell everyone so you'll feel
ashamed                                                          ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­     
Give you nothing but take all you
have,                                                            ­                                          
                      ­                                                                 ­                           
tell you you're weak because you feel
bad                                                              ­                    
                                                                ­                                          
Destroy your trust and your will to
live,                                                            ­      
                                                          ­                                                        
  take all I want and all that you give

Erase, erase, from the chalkboard of time,                                                          
                                                                ­                                        
everything you did that ****** up my mind,                                                      
                                                                ­                                                      
   Rip out, rip out, from the pages of life,                                                        
                                                                ­                                        
everything you did that ruined mine                                                             ­ 
                                                               ­                                                     
Tear out, tear out, my broken
heart,                                                           ­ 
                                                               ­                                                     
heal, the wounds, remove the
scars                                                            ­  
                                                              ­                                              
Forget, forget who I used to be,                                                          
                                                                ­                                                  
that life ended tragically                                                       ­                 
                                                                ­                                          
  Replace, replace, my bad
memories                                                        ­                                                                 ­   
  I need something to give me
relief                                                           ­         
                                                                ­                                                 
  Put in, put in, some quality time,                                                            ­
                                                                ­                                                      
  so, I can look past all your
  lies                                                          ­                    
                                                                ­                                                
  Love, love, show me it's
  there,                                                        ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­   
  prove to me you'll always
  care                                                          ­                      
                                                                ­                                          
  Change, change,
  everything,                                                   ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­
   restore my faith, unbreak my wings

I gave you my best                                                             ­                                       
                                                                ­                                                      
but it wasn't enough                                                           ­                                           
                                                                ­                                                      
You wanted the rest,                                                            ­                        
                                        ­                                                                 ­               
   all-consuming
love                                                             ­                                     
                           ­                                                                 ­                      
Gave you control,                                                         ­                                     
                                                                ­                                                        
so, there'd be peace                                                            ­                      
                                          ­                                                            
Relinquish the
hold,                                                            ­                              
                                  ­                                                                 ­               
that you have on
me                                                               ­                         
                                                                ­                                          
  A prisoner of
love,                                                           ­                                                     
           ­                                                                 ­                                            
I am breaking
free                                                             ­                           
                                                                ­                                                  
like a gray dove,                                                            ­                                                                 ­       
                                                                ­                                               
  please release
me                                                               ­                                     
                                                                ­                                                
Take off the
confines,                                                        ­                            
                                    ­                                                                 ­             
the shackles & the
chains                                                           ­                   
                                                                ­                                                
after all this
time                                                             ­                                         
                                                                ­                                                
only hate remains

Something in me has changed,                                                         ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­                   feelings have been rearranged                                                       ­                                 
                                                                ­                                            
Thought processes shifting,                                                        ­            
                                                                ­                                                      
I'm full of wishful thinking                                                         ­                           
                                     ­                                                                 ­                
I've become happy and content,                                                         ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­    
blessed, everything's heaven sent                                                             ­             
                                                   ­                                                                 ­    
A smile keeps creeping up on me,                                                              ­                                
                                                                 ­                                             
covering where a frown used to be                                                               ­   
                                                                ­                                                  
The sun has never been brighter,                                                        ­                                          
                                                                ­                                                  
my mood has never been lighter                                                          ­          
                                                                ­                                                        
I want to sing and laugh out loud,                                                            ­    
                                                                ­                                                
catch a ride on a floating cloud                                                            ­    
                                                            ­                                                            
I am in my summer
season,                                                          ­                
                                                                ­                                            
shining brightly for no reason                                                           ­       
                                                                ­                                          
Soaking up this life with greed,                                                           ­     
                                                           ­                                                             
  I­ feel like I am complete

You know I didn't get away,                                                            ­                  
                                                                ­                                            
   unscarred, unscathed,                                                       ­                                       
                                                                ­                                                    
  you don't think that I've paid,                                                            ­                            
                                    ­                                                                 ­                 
for the way that you behave                                                           ­                 
                                                                ­                                                  
  Must I have physical proof,                                                           ­                             
                                   ­                                                                 ­              
  scratches & black eye bruised,                                                         ­         
                                                                ­                                                      
  to show the harm that you can do,                                                
                                                                ­                                              
  when you get to run
loose                                                            ­                            
                                                                ­                                                  
You think you're so
innocent,                                                        ­                    
                                            ­                                                                 ­   
  God blessed, heaven sent                                                             ­       
                                                                ­                                                  
  but the truth is you are hell
bent                                                             ­                                             
                                                                ­                                                      
  to encase my heart in cement

You are standing in your ego,                                                             ­           
                                                                ­                                                          
  I am standing with the truth,                                                           ­             
                                                                ­                                                        
so round & round we both go,                                                              ­                
                                                                ­                                                        
till we are both lost & confused

Sandcastles by the sea,                                                             ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­        
fairy tales & tea parties,                                                         ­                               
                                 ­                                                                 ­                  
pink buttercream frosting,                                                        ­                            
                                                                ­                                                  
  glitter and butterfly wings                                                            ­                  
                                                                ­                                                  
  Those are some of the things,                                                          ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­       
  that her memory brings                                                           ­                                         
                       ­                                                                 ­                        
  Party dresses and sweet sixteen,                                                         ­                 
                                                                ­                                          
  slumber parties with no slumbering,                                                      ­          
                                                      ­                                                            
my little girl did all these things                                                          
­                                                                 ­                                                 
and it hurts remembering                                                      ­                        
                                                                ­                                          
  Football games and movie dates,                                                           ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­  
  blue flower printed pillowcase,                                                      ­    
                                                                ­                                            
  Mister, the soft brown teddy bear,                                                    
       ­                                                                 ­                                    
  ringlets of soft blonde hair                                                             ­                 
                                               ­                                                                 ­  
  My memories are all I have,                                                            ­              
                                                                ­                                            
leaving me broken and sad                                                              ­                          
                                      ­                                                                 ­           
She is gone, she lost the fight,                                                           ­               
                                                                ­                                              
cancer has taken her life                                                             ­                           
                                                                ­                                          
Tonight, there's a star that's shining bright,                                                          ­                                                                 ­                                         
                       ­                                                                 ­                                
I wish I may, I wish I might,                                                           ­                   
                                                                ­                                                
bring her home and I'll be alright,                                                         ­           
                                                                ­                                                  
  my angel, my ray of light

With his hands on his
ears,                                                            ­                    
                                                                ­                                                        
he tries not to
hear,                                                            ­                                        
                                                                ­                                                        
as the voices cry
out,                                                             ­                               
                                 ­                                                                 ­                      
in his head fear
sprouts                                                          ­                                    
                            ­                                                                 ­                         
You can sense his
frustration,                                                     ­                             
                                                                ­                                              
without knowing the
situation                                                       ­                                                                 ­
 You can see he's suffering
inside,                                                          ­                                              
                  ­                                                                 ­                               
and it makes me want to
cry                                                              ­                                      
                                                                ­                                                
Teary eyes and a smile on his
face,                                                            ­        
                                                        ­                                                            
he says that he feels out of place                                                            ­                                                                 ­   
 Urges me to want to pull him in                                                               ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                       
   try to give him strength
within                                                           ­         
                                                                ­                                                
Many years of pain, lived again &
again,                                                          
­                                                                 ­                                                   
as we both pray for it to go
away                                                             ­                               
                                                                ­                                        
knowing it has yet to
end                                                             ­                                                       
                                                                ­                                                    
So fragile is he, yet as strong as can
be                                                               ­     
                                                                ­                                                    
   you want to love him eternally                                                        ­  
                                                              ­                                                
Sweet, gentle giant innocent as a
child                                                            ­  
                                                                ­                                                
  with a perfect disposition and a weary smile

You are so beautiful,                                                       ­                                         
                       ­                                                                 ­                                
let me take you in                                                               ­                                               
                                                                ­                                                      
Just lay there, be still,                                                           ­                               
                                                                ­                                                        
I want to taste your
  skin                                                          ­                              
                                                                ­                                                      
my heart's beating like a
drum,                                                            ­                    
                                                                ­                                                      
are you listening?                                                       ­                                                     
                                                                ­                                                        
I am about to come
undone,                                                          ­              
                                                  ­                                                          
inside, I'm
shivering                                                       ­                                                       
                                                                ­                                                
Your hair smells of
flowers                                                          ­                
                                                                ­                                                  
  that were sitting out in the
sun                                                              ­                    
                                            ­                                                                 ­  
 more fragrant by the
  hour,                                                         ­                           
                                     ­                                                                 ­            
like citrus and
cardamom                                                         ­                       
                                                                ­                                                
Your lips are like rare
wine,                                                            ­              
                                                                ­                                                        
I want to drink you
in                                                              ­                                                                 ­        
 let me take all my time                                                             ­                                   
                             ­                                                                 ­                       
   to light a fire within                                                           ­                         
                                                                ­                                                    
Lit up by
candlelight,                                                     ­                                         
                                                                ­                                                
your face is all
aglow                                                            ­                                  
                                                                ­                                                        
I want to take all night,                                                           ­                 
                                               ­                                                                 ­
show you love you've never
known                                                            ­                          
                                                                ­                                                  
My heart can't get
enough                                                           ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­          
and my mind is taking me,                                                              ­        
                                                                ­                                                        
to all the ways I can love                                                             ­                           
                                                                ­                                                
your mind, soul and body                                                             ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­    
You are so
beautiful,                                                       ­                                     
                           ­                                                                 ­                      
you really have no
idea                                                             ­                           
                                     ­                                                                 ­      
you've made my life meaningful,                                                      ­              
                                                  ­                                                                
  just by being here

Music boxes play, stuffed animals on
display,                                                    
                                                                ­                                              
waiting for children who have gone
away                                                        
    ­                                                                 ­                                 
Bedrooms left quiet & undisturbed                                                      ­
                                                                ­                                      
voicemails unanswered, texts unpurged                                                         ­                                                                 ­                                                                                                                ­                                                         
All these missing children, postered on a wall
                                                                                  ­                                      
I think of the broken lives behind them
all                                                    
         ­                                                                 ­                            
Endangered or missing, they aren't where,
                                                          ­                                                  
  someone can protect them, show them
  they care                                                    
                                                                ­                                                
Beautiful angels taken or gone
away                                                            
                                                                ­                                            
maybe their mystery will be solved
today                                                  
                                                                ­                                                   
    For every parent who patiently lies in
wait                                                             ­ 
                                                               ­                                                         
   I pray that they bring their child home safe

Green meadows covered in moss                                                             ­               
                                                 ­                                                                 ­    
like carpeting so moist & soft                                                             ­       
                                                                ­                                            
  Weeping willow branches silently
reaching                                                         ­             
                                                                ­                                        
dandelions in the breeze, seeds
releasing                                                        ­                      
                                                                 ­                                                   
  Bees buzzing around in the
sunshine                                                         ­                 
                                               ­                                                                 ­        
  as birds pick at grapes on the
vine                                                             ­   
                                                                ­                                          
Fragrant flowers with yellow
pollen                                                           ­         
                                                       ­                                                     
opened mouth to nurture this
garden                                                          
                                                                ­                                                           Wild pink roses & white
daisies                                                          ­                                  
                                                                ­                                            
clamor for space near the
euphrasy                                                         ­           
                                                     ­                                                               
As the sun slumbers in
sleep,                                                           ­                 
                                                                ­                                          
fireflies redecorate the scenery                                                          ­                    
                                                                ­                                            
Beauty as far as the eye can see                                                              ­        
                                                        ­                                                                
­I take in the garden, and it takes me

She runs to catch up, he leads the way,                                                          
                                                                ­                                                      
I'm sure that their love has seen better
days                                                             ­               
                                                                ­                                                      
It's probable that they'd always held
hands                                                      
                                                                ­                                                     
  while she made sure he felt like the
  man                                                           ­               
                                                 ­                                                                 ­   
  He'd hold the door open as she walked
  in,                                                           ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­          
  now he runs ahead & she's left chasing
  him                                                           ­         
                                                       ­                                                         
  They both sit at the diner with nothing to
say,                                                             ­ 
                                                               ­                                                     
he reads the dinner menu as she looks
away                                                             ­                             
                                   ­                                                                 ­          
What ever happened to how was your day?                                    
                        ­                                                                 ­                         
  The golden couple is now a dull
  gray                                                      
                                                                ­                                                
They eat in silence & when they are
through,                                                    
                                                                ­                                                    
he pays the bills without any
cues                                                             ­       
                                                                ­                                                
They leave the same way they walked
in,                                                              ­                
                                                                ­                                                    
he runs ahead & she is chasing him                                                              ­
                                                                ­                                        
Whatever happened to make them this way?                                              
                                                                ­                                                      
A couple with nothing left to say

You look but you don't see,                                                             ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­            
the inner beauty in
me                                                               ­                     
                                                                ­                                                        
So caught up on
physicality's                                                    ­                        
                                        ­                                                                 ­             
and your shallow
personality                                                      ­                              
                                                                ­                                                           Have you ever looked at
  yourself,                                                     ­                                     
                                                                ­                                                
you're no better than anyone
else                                                             ­         
                                                                ­                                                   
You are so cocky & self-
   assured                                                          ­              
                                                  ­                                                                 ­   
but can't say an intelligent
word                                                             ­                     
                                                                ­                                                        
  I am so glad that I'm not
you,                                                             ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­         
   at least I know what's the
truth                                                            ­              
                                                                ­                                                  
Thinking you're some kind of
sleuth,                                                        
                                                                ­                                            
searching for the fountain of
youth                                                            ­        
                                                                ­                                                    
  Do you really think those young girls,                                                  
        ­                                                                 ­                                      
 want to be a part of your sad
world?                                                           ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­        
   You can't love anyone but
  yourself                                                      ­                                              
                  ­                                                                 ­                               
 You can't connect with anyone
  else                                                          ­                          
                                      ­                                                                 ­               
  A world where women are objects & no
  opinions,                                                     ­                   
                                                                ­                                              
  where men speak loud & make all the
  decisions,                                              
     ­                                                                 ­                                        
  where men sit high on their thrones as
  kings,                                                        ­                
                                                ­                                                                 ­     
a place where women don't do any
  speaking,                                                     ­                               
                                                                ­                                              
where what you say goes, or else                                                             ­           
                                                                ­                                              
What women would surely call
hell                                                             ­           
                                                     ­                                                           
  Wel­l, I have an opinion, I have a
  say,                                                          ­                          
                                                                ­                                                        
I don't need your validation,
okay?                                                           ­                                                                 ­        
                                                        ­                                                                
­ I may not be the homecoming
queen                                                            ­  
                                                              ­                                                      
or a model on a movie
screen                                                           ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­        
but I am proud to have integrity                                                        ­              
                                                  ­                                                                
­ and morals that you're lacking                                                          ­              
                                                  ­                                                                 ­ 
Go, live in your sad little
world,                                                           ­                             
                                                                ­                                                
  have fun with a bevy of
  girls                                                         ­             
                                                                ­                                                       
  It won't last long, you will
  see,                                                          ­                
                                                                ­                                                      
 in the end they will be like me

As the sand falls through the
hourglass,                                                       ­           
                                                     ­                                                                 ­
our lives go ticking by so
fast                                                             ­           
                                                     ­                                                               
Each grain is so
intricate,                                                       ­                               
                                                                ­                                                    
each one its own so
delicate                                                         ­                       
                                                                ­                                                    
Like children they are separate                                                         ­                       
                                                                ­                                                  
but also need to compensate                                                       ­                             
                                                                ­                                                  
We need to love our daughters & sons                                                             ­                                                             
                                                                ­                                          
treasure the grains in every last one                                                              ­  
                                                              ­                                          
Someone once said to me,                                                              ­                              
                                  ­                                                                 ­       
children are gems we are borrowing,                                                       ­                           
                                     ­                                                                 ­          
until God decides he needs them more than
me                                                    
          ­                                                                 ­                                     
they will continue be my treasure, sparkling

I deserve an Academy Award,                                                           ­                 
                                               ­                                                                 ­      
my performance should receive an encore                                                           ­                   
                                                                ­                                                          
because I can smile, act & pretend                                                          ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­         
that I love this life that I am living                                                           ­             
                                                   ­                                                         
Juggling to keep the ***** in the air,                                                          
  ­                                                                 ­                                                 
take it on the chin like I have no cares                                                            ­      
                                                          ­                                                        
  I've been doing it for so **** long,                                                            ­                    
                                            ­                                                                 ­         
in the background, they're playing my song                                                             ­     
                                                                ­                                                    
Taking my bows at the days end,                                                             ­         
                                                       ­                                                                 ­  
go to sleep & then do it all over again                                                            ­          
                                                      ­                                                        
When the curtains close, I fall apart,                                                           ­       
                                                                ­                                          
splinters of glass in my scarred heart                                                            ­          
                                                      ­                                                        
  Inside­ my tears are falling like rain                                                             ­                       
                                                                ­                                                  
  but the old stains still remain                                                           ­                                     
                                                                ­                                                        
I just want to be who I am,                                                              ­                                                            
                                                                ­                                                  
not this aging super
woman                                                            ­            
                                                                ­                                                  
and still have people love me for me,                                                              ­      
                                                                ­                                              
warts & all, unconditionally                                                  ­                                          
                      ­                                                                 ­                                 
I know I can't just fall apart                                                            ­          
                                                                ­                                          
without someone playing my part                                                             ­       
                                                                ­                                                
Keep the family together for me,                                                              ­              
                                                  ­                                                      
someone to take on the responsibility

Like a butterfly, my heart
flutters,                                                        ­        
                                                        ­                                                          
when you're around, it works
harder                                                           ­           
                                                     ­                                                             
When you're away, it goes into
arrest,                                                          ­          
                                                                ­                                                
loving you has put my heart to the
test                                                             ­                         
                                       ­                                                                 ­          
Can't breathe easy when you're not with
me,                                              
                                                                ­                                                    
can't see straight & I can't think
clearly                                                          ­                                      
                                                                ­                                                  
  Just one call from you & I am
  okay,                                                         ­           
                                                                ­                                                        
  I get obsessed with you more each
  day                                                           ­                       
                                                                ­                                                  
  You are the drug that feeds my addiction                                                        ­              
                                                  ­                                                                
­ The only remedy to cure this affliction

Watching you skating on the ice,                                                             ­         
                                                       ­                                                            
    figure eights, so perfect, so
concise,                                                         ­       
                                                         ­                                                               
ice crystals sparkle, diamonds in the
night                                                            ­                                
                                                                ­                                                        
as your dark hair reflects the pale
moonlight                                                        ­        
                                                        ­                                                              
You are unaware that I am watching
you,                                                          
                                                                ­                                                        
as you concentrate on every
move                                                             ­       
                                                         ­                                                             
From where I am, you're doing
perfectly,                                                       ­                             
                                   ­                                                                 ­              
the only thing you're missing out there is
me                                                               ­                       
                                                                ­                                            
Woolen scarf in light green &
blue                                                             ­                   
                                                                ­                                          
  covers your face but not the
view                                                            
                                                                ­                                                        
I love to watch you spin so freely                                                           ­ 
                                                                ­                                                      
a snow globe, living & breathing                                                        ­  
                                                                ­                                                  
  You push your bangs from your
eyes                                                             ­     
                                                           ­                                                           
as you smile up at me from the
ice                                                              ­                                          
                      ­                                                                 ­                 
Mittened hand raised as you say
'hi''                                                            ­          
                                                                ­                                                    
an invitation, and nice
surprise                                                        ­                                                                 ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­          
I walk out slowly and try not to fall
down                                                        
                                                                ­                                                  
lose my footing and hit the ground                                                           ­                                   
                                                                 ­                                               
Here you come, worry etched on your
face,                                                        
                                                                ­                                                        
We start to laugh at all my
disgrace                                                         ­           
                                                     ­                                                             
You reach for me as I struggle to get
up,                                                      
       ­                                                                 ­                                             
 in your eyes, I hope I can find love

I want to float like a dandelion
seed,                                                            ­                                        
                                                                ­                                                       
  carried off by wind on a summer
breeze,                                                          ­            
                                                                ­                                                  
flying over grass, dipping past the
trees                                                            ­                  
                                              ­                                                    
The weightlessness of nature's
fairies                                                          ­                                          
                                                                ­                                                  
Hitch a ride on a high-flying
kite,                                                            ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­     
soar to the Heavens & out of
sight,                                                           ­ 
                                                               ­                                                 
crash into the ground, melt into the
earth                                                            ­  
                                                              ­                                                    
Let the rain take me to my
rebirth                                                          ­            
                                                    ­                                                           
  When summer comes, I will
  thrive                                                        ­                                                    
            ­                                                                 ­                                   
then break into the wind & come alive

I took a knife & cut the
vine                                                             ­                 
                                                                ­                                                      
that tethered me to
you                                                              ­                              
                                                                ­                                                
No longer mine & that's just
fine,                                                            ­      
                                                          ­                                                             
   I consider myself
rescued                                                          ­                
                                                ­                                                                 ­     
  I'm happy to see you missing
me,                                                              ­                                  
                              ­                                                                 ­               
  because I'm not missing
you                                                              ­                    
                                                                ­                                        
  Predictably, it's clear to
see                                                              ­                    
                                            ­                                                              
  without me you couldn't
  do                                                            ­            
                                                                ­                                              
  While under your care I didn't
thrive                                                           ­       
                                                         ­                                                         
 you starved me of your love                                                             ­                 
                                                                ­                                                  
It made me know &realize                                                          ­              
                                                  ­                                                                
­ you would never grow up                                                               ­               
                                                 ­                                                                 ­      
I now have reclaimed my
energy                                                           ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­          
it has grown &
bloomed                                                          ­                          
                                                                ­                                                      
A bouquet of positivity                                                       ­                               
                                                                 ­                                                 
  and a life that is brand new

Your tone full of disrespect,                                                      ­                        
                                                                ­                                                    
dark eyes filled with hate,                                                            ­                  
                                                                ­                                                  
never know what to expect.                                                          ­                                  
                              ­                                                                 ­                       
you see me as second rate                                                             ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­              
I can't help but to remember,                                                        ­            
                                                                ­                                                  
when none of that was true,                                                            ­                      
                                                                ­                                                      
you were my best defender                                                         ­                           
                                     ­                                                                 ­            
and your eyes, a softer blue                                                             ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­              
I know I can't turn back time                                                             ­                     
                                                                ­                                                  
but if I could I would                                                            ­                          
                                                                ­                                              
when I knew you were mine,                                                            ­                    
                                            ­                                                                 ­         
it felt so **** good                                                             ­   
                                                             ­                         
Somewhere we lost our way                                                              ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­       
  and now I miss you everyday                                                         ­                             
                                                                ­                                    
Resentment & hate fill our days                                                             ­               
                                                 ­                                                             
while we hold our hearts at bay                                                              ­          
                                                                ­                                                  
Our past holds us hostage                                                          ­                                      
 when will it be long enough?

It is a cool summer night,                                                           ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­
fireflies are in flight,                                                          ­                      
                                                                ­                                                    
  stars like fireworks so bright,                                                          ­                    
                                            ­                                                               
    mosquitos with hearty appetites                                                        ­        
                                                        ­                                                        
There's a slight breeze around,                                                          ­  
                                                                ­                                                          
a moist dew on the ground                                                           ­                                 
                               ­                                                                 ­                      
A bonfire & cold beer,                                                            ­                      
                                                                ­                                                  
I'm wishing you were here                                                             ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­      
Kids playing with flashlights,                                                     ­                   
                                                                ­                                          
all camping out till daylight,                                                        ­              
                                                  ­                                                          
wading­ pools filled with grass,                                                           ­                                                   
                                                                ­                                                  
  the day faded so fast                                                             ­                 
                                                                ­                              
Marshmallows are grilling,                                                        ­                        
                                                                ­                                        
everyone is chilling                                                         ­                           
                                     ­                                                                 ­              
It's a perfect summer night,                                                           ­                 
                                                                ­                                      
  everything is just right

Where did everybody go?                                                              ­                
I used to have good
friends                                                          ­                      
                                                                ­                                                    
now they are all no
shows                                                            ­                    
                                                                ­                                              
  Is it because I'm at life's
end?                                                             ­         
                                                                ­                                                        
I can remember
when,                                                            ­                        
                                        ­                                                                 ­                 
I was a social
butterfly                                                        ­                          
                                                                ­                                                  
but I guess that was then                                                             ­     
                                                           ­                                               
because I'm barely still
alive                                                            ­              
                                                                ­                                                
Here I am all by
myself,                                                          ­                      
                                                                ­                                                      
in a lonely hospital
room,                                                            ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­   
can everybody else smell,                                                           ­           
                                                                ­                                                  
the sterility mixed with
doom?                                                            ­                              
                                                                ­                                          
Nothing to hear but the TV                                                               ­               
                                                 ­                                                                 ­
and the beeps of machinery                                                        ­            
                                                                ­                                                    
As the nurses check on me
carefully,                                                       ­               
                                                 ­                                                                 ­      
I fall in & out of sleep                                                            ­                  
                                                                ­                                                  
My children come to see                                                              ­          
                                                      ­                                                              
me in my new
room,                                                            ­                          
                                                                ­                                                        
I hope they can erase,                                                           ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­  
visions of needles & tubes                                                            ­                  
                                                                ­                                                        
  I shoo them all away,                                                            ­                                                
                ­                                                                 ­                             
when the doctors
come,                                                            ­                      
                                                                ­                                                
don't want to ruin their
day,                                                             ­           
                                                                ­                                          
because I'm not coming
home                                                             ­             
                                                                ­                                                        
I try to put on a brave face,                                                            ­          
                                                      ­                                                            
smile &tell them, I'll be
fine                                                             ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­      
but that's not the
case                                                             ­                                           
                                                                ­                                                  
and it's always on my mind

I'm missing you & you are right here,                                                            ­          
                                                      ­                                                                 ­        I'm not feeling that you still care                                                             ­         
                                                                ­                                        
  Sometimes I reach for you at night                                                            ­        
                                                        ­                                                      
wishing you would hold me tight                                                            ­            
                                                    ­                                                                 ­ 
and the few times, we do kiss,                                                            ­                  
                                                                ­                                                          
  I want more than a peck on the
lips                                                             ­           
                                                     ­                                                             
We have drifted so far apart,                                                           ­               
                                                                ­                                                    
we no longer know each other's hearts                                                           ­ 
                                                               ­                                               
Every disagreement becomes full blown,                                                           ­         
                                                                ­                                                    
it's been so long since love's been shown                                                            ­
                                                                ­                                              
Never on the right page at the same time,                                                            ­    
                                                            ­                                                            
  I wonder if I ever cross your mind                                                             ­                             
                                   ­                                                                 ­                
No just because phone calls during the day,                                                            
                                                                ­                                                  
  you don't hear a thing I say anyway                                                      
                                                                ­                                                        
I haven't gotten flowers in so many years,                                            
              ­                                                                 ­                                         
I don't know why I'm even still here                                                             ­                         
                                       ­                                                                 ­          
The kids are grown, they filled my day,                                                            
                                                                ­                                                
now it's me & you & we're not okay                                                          
                                                                ­                                                        
I feel like I give more than I recieve,                                                         ­               
                                                 ­                                                                 ­
and you're ******* the life out of me                                                          
    ­                                                                 ­                                                   
I hold on because I want us to work,                                                            ­            
                                                    ­                                                          
while you pull away & it really hurts                                                            ­  
                                                                ­                                                        
  I want things the way they used to
be                                                               ­ 
                                                               ­                                                 
when I loved you & you loved
me                                                               ­                                         
                       ­                                                                 ­                          
but deep down, I know the cold dark truth,                                                           ­       
                                                                ­                                                
those days are over & so are me & you

Not so very long ago,                                                             ­                                           
                     ­                                                                 ­                                    
I tried hard to let you know,                                                            ­                  
                                                                ­                                                      
that you played a part,                                                            ­                    
                                                                ­                                                        
in creating hate in my heart                                                            ­              
                                                  ­                                                                 ­       
I wanted you to pay,                                                             ­                         
                                       ­                                                                 ­          
every single **** day                                                              ­                        
                                                                ­                                                  
but while I punished you,                                                             ­               
                                                 ­                                                                 ­      
I was punishing me too                                                              ­                                
                                                                ­                                                      
It took all my strength,                                                        ­                            
                                                                ­                                                      
to hurt you at great lengths                                                          ­                    
                                            ­                                                                 ­           
I wanted to see you cry,                                                             ­               
                                                                ­                                                  
you knew the reasons why                                                              ­                  
                                                                ­                                                        
I wanted you to break,                                                           ­                         
                                       ­                                                                 ­              
yearned to tie you to the stake,                                                           ­           
                                                     ­                                                                 ­
to watch you hurt and bleed,                                                           ­             
                                                                ­                                                  
just like you did to me                                                               ­               
                                                                ­                                                
Now you are old & gray                                                             ­                                 
                               ­                                                                 ­                             and I too have also aged,                                                            ­                                
                                                                ­                                                        
I heard you are alone,                                                           ­                                         
                                                                ­                                                                 ­    feeling bad for what you've done                                                             ­           
                                                     ­                                                               
As stubborn as can be,                                                              ­                                  
                                                                ­                                                  
you won't say you're sorry to me                                                               ­                     
                                                                ­                                                  
but as I have grown up,                                                              ­                                
                                                                ­                                                          
I feel you've paid enough                                                           ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­        
So, I'll be the bigger person                                                           ­                     
                                                                ­                                                  
and tell you're forgiven,                                                        ­                  
                                                                ­                                                    
as much for you as for me,                                                              ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­             
I will say I'm sorry

I watched her fall apart,                                                           ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                                
felt the breaking of her
heart,                                                           ­                                 
                                                                ­                                                    
saw the life in her
eyes,                                                           ­                                                                 ­                                        
                                                                ­                                                        
go dimmer then fade &
die                                                              ­              
                                                  ­                                                              
Wiped away so many
tears,                                                           ­                                       
                                                                ­                                          
held her through all her
fears,                                                          ­                                                                 ­                                         
                                                                ­                                          
comforted her when she was
alone                                                            ­          
                                                                ­                                                
tried to soften her heart of
stone                                                            ­        
                                                                ­                                                        
  I wish she would have known,                                                           ­   
                                                             ­                                                       
that we all hurt as we
grow                                                             ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­          
  I didn't see all the fine
  cracks,                                                       ­                         
                                                                ­                                                        
 I didn't know all the facts                                                            ­          
                                                                ­                                            
Fragile as a porcelain doll,                                                            ­                        
                                        ­                                                                 ­         
she managed to weather it all                                                              ­                      
                                                                ­                                                  
She never thought she was strong,                                                          ­      
                                                                ­                                                  
but she was so very wrong                                                            ­              
                                                                ­                                                  
  You may wonder, who is she?                                                             ­   
                                                                ­                                                  
  The answer is, she used to be me

Juggling all the *****,                                                           ­                                 
                                                                ­                                              
putting out the fires,                                                           ­                                       
                                                                ­                                                      
you sit through it all                                                              ­                                  
                                                                ­                                                      
and I am getting tired                                                            ­                                            
                                                                ­                                                  
never too little too late,                                                            ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­                 
I have been waiting,                                                         ­                                 
                                                                ­                                              
while you try to debate,                                                          ­                            
                                                                ­                                                  
  I'm left here hating                                                           ­                                       
                                                                ­                                                  
                                                                ­                                                  
  I've given you the time                                                             ­                                 
                               ­                                                                 ­                  
  and you've been taking it,                                                              ­                
                                                                ­                                                      
  to make up your mind,                                                            ­                              
                                  ­                                                                 ­       
  of whether I 'm worth it                                                               ­                         
                                       ­                                                                 ­                
   I have news for you,                                                             ­                                   
                             ­                                                                 ­                  
  your love doesn't define me,                                                              ­              
                                                  ­                                                                 ­ 
  so do what you need to                                                               ­                               
                                                                ­                                              
while you stand behind me                                                               ­                 
                                                                ­                                                  
                                                                ­                                                  
  I've already done it all,                                                             ­                     
                                                                ­                                                    
  as you sat thinking                                                         ­                                                   
             ­                                                                 ­                                          
  I won't take the fall                                                             ­                   
                                                                ­                                                    
   for your slow rising                                                           ­                             
                                   ­                                                                 ­                    
  I did it all without you,                                                             ­               
                                                                ­                                              
What are you good for?                                                             ­                   
                                                                ­                                                    
  Do what you have to,                                                              ­                  
                                                                ­                                                        
I won't be here anymore                                                          ­                                  
                              ­                                                                 ­             
                                                                ­                                            
  Raised our kids all alone.                                                           ­                             
                                   ­                                                                 ­            
  kept the house up everyday                                                         ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­     
                                                           ­                                                             
  worked my fingers to the bones,                                                           ­             
                                                                ­                                              
  while you went out & played                                                           ­                         
                                                                ­                                            
  Tucked the kids into bed at night,                                                           ­   
                                                                ­                                              
   raised them with love & pride                                                            ­      
                                                                ­                                              
  What you did isn't right,                                                           ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­        
  you never stood by my side                                                             ­           
                                                     ­                                                         
       ­                                                                 ­                                            
When you were out drinking,                                                        ­      
                                                                ­                                                        
  I was at home all alone                                                          
 ­                                                                 ­                                            
  What the hell was I thinking                                                         ­                         
                                       ­                                                                 ­                                        
  while I was sitting on the phone                                                            ­            
                                                    ­                                                    
  Cheating on me, watching me cry                                                              ­                    
                                                                ­                                                  
  as beat myself up all the time,                                                            ­                          
                                      ­                                                                 ­         
   And yet, still a fool, I tried,                                                           ­         
                                                       ­                                                               
   it is true, love is blind

I've crawled through the ashes                                                            ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                  
 left behind by my downfall                                                         ­                                                                                                                      ­                                          
with knuckles made of brass                                                            ­                                        
                                                                ­                                            
 I fought and still stood
 tall                                                           ­                                     
                           ­                                                                 ­                          
You thought you destroyed
me                                                               ­             
                                                   ­                                                                 ­  
but I made it
through                                                          ­                        
                                        ­                                                                 ­           
  So don't ask for pity,                                                            ­                
                                                                ­                                                  
this revenge is for
you                                                              ­                            
                                                                ­                                                      
As my scars are barely
healing                                                         ­                                                                 ­        
                                                        ­                                                          
and my wounds remain undried                                                          ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­         
I am happy to be feeling,                                                         ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­    
that it's your turn to cry                                                              ­                                        
                        ­                                                                 ­                   
You've spent your life basking,                                                         ­                                                             
   ­                                                                 ­                                            
with the sun in your face                                                             ­           
                                                     ­                                                           
now it's your turn to be asking                                                           ­                           
                                     ­                                                                 ­              
for my mercy & grace                                                            ­                    
                                            ­                                                                 ­           
I want to see you broken,                                                          ­              
                                                                ­                                        
shattered & worn down,                                                            ­                
                                                                ­                                                    
it's just a little token                                                            ­                                
                                                                ­                                                             from the strength I 've
found                                                            ­              
                                                                ­                                                        
  I want you to beg
  me                                                            ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­           
to take you back again                                                            ­                                        
                                                                ­                                                      
  it will make me
  happy                                                         ­                                       
                                                                ­                                                      
to know you're suffering

I want to shrivel up and blow
away                                                             ­ 
                                                                ­                                                      
like a fallen leaf on an autumn
day                                                              ­  
                                                              ­                                                          
      a carefree dancer, waltzing in the
breeze                                                           ­                       
                                                                ­                                                   
 form a pile on the ground, jump in
  me,                                                           ­                           
                                     ­                                                                 ­                  
  feel the rainfall wash over me                                                      
                                                                ­                                                    
  then bask in the sunlight, so
  colorfully                                                    ­                    
                                                                ­                                                        
I want to melt into the damp dark
earth                                                        
                                                                ­                                                     
 to be born again when Spring gives birth

I don't love who you
are,                                                             ­                       
                                                                ­                                                        
I love who you used to be                                                               ­                                                     
                                                                ­                                                      
 I keep hoping that not too          
 far,                                                            ­              
                                                                ­                                                      
  that person is still
  lurking                                                       ­                               
                                 ­                                                                 ­                        
   I get a glimpse now &
   then                                                             ­                             
                                   ­                                                                 ­                 
 that keeps my hopes
alive                                                            ­                        
                                        ­                                                                 ­               
I keep on wondering
when,                                                            ­                  
                                              ­                                                                
you'll tell me he's
arrived                                                          ­                            
                                                                ­                                                
Every once in a
while,                                                           ­                           
                                                                ­                                                    
he shows himself to
me,                                                              ­                                            
                    ­                                                                 ­                                       
in a look or a smile                                                            ­                                                    
            ­                                                                 ­                                           
and it is so reassuring                                                       ­                                                               
                                                                ­                                                  
but those glimpses are so few                                                              ­                              
                                                                ­                                                      
  it leaves me questioning                                                      ­                                
                                ­                                                                 ­               
  Why do I stay with you?                                                             ­                             
                                   ­                                                                 ­              
What's this loves direction?                                                       ­                           
                                                                ­                                                  
My heart still won't give up                                                               ­                   
                                                                ­                                                    
it's missing what is gone                                                             ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­            
but I know it's been long
enough                                                           ­                     
                                                                ­                                                  
and he's not coming home

Today I got a hug, out of the blue                                                             ­     
                                                           ­                                                               
and it even came with an "I love you''                                                            ­    
                                                            ­                                                        
Such a simple kind gesture                                                          ­                                                  
              ­                                                                 ­                               
  It brought me such pleasure                                                         ­                     
                                                                ­                                                          
It picked me up when I felt down                                                             ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­      
  turned my day totally around                                                           ­                 
                                                                ­                                                  
  Just when I thought no one cared                                                            ­            
                                                                ­                                        
someone loved me, someone shared

I'm the one out there for everyone else,                                                            ­                  
                                                                ­                                                    
who is there when I need someone myself?                                                          ­      
                                                                ­                                                        
I'll go to battle for those that I love,                                                            ­
                                                                ­                                                          
  if you bring the push, I'll bring the shove                                                            ­      
                                                          ­                                                                
  I am the strongman, the rock, the tough                                                            ­    
                                                            ­                                                          
  but the world on my shoulders is rough                                                            ­  
                                                                ­                                      
  Sometimes I need someone to take the wheel                                                            ­                    
                                            ­                                                                 ­     
  Let me catch my breath, I need time to heal                                                             ­ 
                                                                ­                                                        
  I am the one to rise up to every cause                                                            ­                  
                                                                ­                                                  
   but it would be nice to take a pause                                                            ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­     
   It's hard for me to ask for the help                                                            
­                                                                 ­                                                       
   that you would offer to anyone else                                                             ­           
                                                                ­                                                  
  You want to watch me to struggle,                                                        ­              
                                                  ­                                                        
  trapped inside your controlling bubble                                                           ­   
                                                             ­                                                 
  while you stand back judging me,                                                              ­  
                                                                ­                                                
  your hand on your hip so haughtily                                                        ­              
                                                                ­                                                  
  but you have still failed to see                                                              ­              
                                                  ­                                                                
  you have underestimated me

Sometimes I want to run into the sea,                                                             ­                           
                                     ­                                                                 ­                  
let the cold-water wash all over
me                                                               ­                   
                                                                ­                                                        
as the waves pull me into its
midst                                                            ­
                                                                ­                                                        
as the sand buries my feet in its
drifts                                                           ­                                             
                                                                ­                                                        
I'd open my lungs & **** the water
down                                                             ­       
                                                         ­                                                             
saltwater filling me up until I
drown                                                            ­        
                                                                ­                                                    
  I'll fall into a blackened deep
  sleep                                                         ­                                   
                                                                ­                                                      
it will wash away the secrets I
keep                                                             ­                                   
                             ­                                                                 ­                        
at the same time, it swallows me
whole                                                            ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­             
I allow it to cleanse the darkness of my
soul                                                             ­       
                                                         ­                                                     
  Cover me up with the grains of
  sand                                                          ­  
                                                              ­                                              
  making me a part of the sea & land

I have to laugh when you rush up to my walls,                                                           ­                     
                                                                ­                                                   thundering mad, trying to make them fall                                                    
        ­                                                                 ­                                               
   I think there's something you need to
know,                                                        
                                                                ­                                                    
they will never come down, they will never
go                                                  
                                                                ­                                                
You've broken my heart so many times
before                                                           ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­        
  that you will never get that close
  anymore                                                    
  ­                                                                 ­                                                   
It doesn't make me happy or
proud                                                            ­    
                                                            ­                                                          
to have to say those words out
loud                                                             ­       
                                                         ­                                                         
but you've given me no reason to
trust                                                            ­    
                                                                ­                                                  
   and without that, there will be no
us                                                               ­   
                                                             ­                                                     
  I've given you chances that you mess
up                                                               ­   
                                                                ­                                                  
  and I have taken more than
enough                                                          
­                                                                 ­                                                   
  So, that's your cue to turn & walk
away                                                          
  ­                                                                 ­                                               
  I'm no longer a partner in the games you play

I was trying to control everything,                                                      ­            
                                                                ­                                                
answer the phone on the first ring                                                             ­                               
                                 ­                                                                 ­                  
That way of life became exhausting                                                       ­               
                                                 ­                                                                 ­     
and it didn't accomplish
anything                                                         ­   
                                                             ­                                                         
I admitted that I didn't know it all                                                            
 ­                                                                 ­                                    
Surrendered & fell into a free fall                                                             ­           
                                                     ­                                                             
Free from my trapped head
space,                                                           ­     
                                                                ­                                      
everything began to fall into place                                                            ­                  
                                              ­                                                          
Released from all my mental bounds                                                      
                                                                ­                                                        
I had survived being buried
underground                                                      ­      
                                                                ­                                                        
I armed myself with a new attitude                                                         ­ 
                                                               ­                                                   
and a newfound state of
gratitude                                                        ­                            
                                    ­                                                                 ­                   
I let my worry fall to the
wayside                                                          ­              
                                                                ­                                                  
and learned to really start living
life                                                             ­             
                                                                ­                                                        
I found out I love who I am
inside,                                                          ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­             
  I urge everyone to give it a try

I am still a work on
progress,                                                        ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­       
some mistakes but no
regrets                                                          ­              
                                                  ­                                                            
Pushed myself through the
unknown,                                                         ­       
                                                                ­                                                 
 proud of this person &, how I've
  grown                                                         ­     
  I hold my head up, stand up
  straight                                                      ­                      
                                                                ­                                                  
doing my best, no inner debates                                                          ­            
                                                    ­                                                                
No excuses made as I forge ahead                                                      
                                                                ­                                        
Learning & changing everyday                                                         ­                 
                                                                ­                                              
loving myself, I'm on my way

I am going on a journey, I don't know where,                                                      
                                                                ­                                                        
I'll let you know the details, when I get there                                      
                                                                ­                                                      
You call it running away, I claim escape,                                                      
                                                                ­                                            
anything to put a smile back on my face                                                             ­         
                                                                ­                                                        
You call it self-indulging, I say it's a
need,                                                          
 ­                                                                 ­                                                    
this deep-rooted hunger that I have to feed                                                             ­                                         
                                                                ­                                                  
See, I have been trying to make myself believe                                  
                       ­                                                                 ­                          
that your sparse love is all that I need                                                
            ­                                                                 ­                                     
Now I've awakened, that doesn't satisify me                                                               ­           
                                                                ­                                                  
and I'm the only one who can make me happy                                                    
                                                                ­                                                      
If my leaving hurts you, know I am sorry                                                      
                                                                ­                                                  
  but I'm long overdue for this journey

Aging is a process that takes you by surprise,                                                        ­
                                                                ­                                                      
  one day you see a reflection you don't  recognize                                                 ­                               
                                 ­                                                                 ­          
Wrinkles where once smooth skin used to be,                                      
                       ­                                                                 ­                              
  fine lines around your eyes you missed completely                                              
                                                                ­                                                      
No amounts of lotion will make it go away                                                             ­                                                     
           ­                                                                 ­                                       
  When did your body betray you, no
permission  gave                                                ­                                                    
                                                                ­                                                
Eyes once so vibrant have now begun to fade,                                                
                                                                ­                                                      
in them a faint glimmer of your glory days                                                             ­                                 
                               ­                                                                 ­                   
 No wonder they say. you're only as young as you
feel,                                                
           ­                                                                 ­                                      
You still feel young inside, this is so surreal                                                          ­        
                                                        ­                                                        
Then the aches & pains start to catch up to you,                                                    
                                                                ­                                                      
 is when you realize the damage the years can
  do                                    
                                                                 ­                                                   
So caught up in life before you get the
chance                                                           ­ 
                                                               ­                                                      
 to be able to know you're a victim of
  circumstance                                              
   ­                                                                 ­                                                
  So, breathe in deeply, give into your
fate                                                             ­                 
                                               ­                                                                 ­  
and promise to enjoy living before it's too late

Wading into the sea of vulnerability,                                                   ­                         
                                       ­                                                                 ­     
    bobbing constantly so it won't swallow me,                                                      
       ­                                                                 ­                                                
as the tide rolls in, it tries to consume
me                                                               ­   
                                                                ­                                                      
   I know where I am & where I want to
   be,                                                              ­
                                                                ­                                                        
  so, I hold on strong & breathe
slightly                                                        ­                                                            
                                                                ­                                                        
I might be wrong, my insight evades
me                                                              
­                                                                 ­                                               
Until I see the shore & the sun
rising                                                           ­           
                                                     ­                                                                 ­  
I will be unsure until God enlightens
  me                                                            ­
                                                                ­                                                      
if it is really safe for me, in the sea of vulnerability?                                                   ­                          ,

I climbed up the mountain side,                                                            ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­ 
taking in the beautiful sights                                                           ­               
                                                                ­                                          
Breathing in the fresh air so
high                                                             ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­        
until it totally filled me inside                                                           ­                         
                                       ­                                                                 ­          
While I inhaled so freely                                                           ­                 
                                                                ­                                                        
of the mountain air so
deeply                                                           ­                           
                                                                ­                                                        
I felt I was taking in its
beauty                                                           ­                           
                                                                ­                                                  
and the essence went through
me                                                               ­       
                                                         ­                                                               
I became a part of that
mountain,                                                        ­                    
                                                                ­                                                
pure energy flowing like a
fountain                                                         ­       
                                                         ­                                                    
 Filling me with its
serenity                                                         ­                         
                                                                ­                                                    
as a calmness washed over
me                                                               ­       
                                                                ­                                           
       Mother Nature, God &
  Heaven                                                        ­                  
                                                                ­                                          
working together times
seven                                                            ­                    
                                                                ­                                              
    Never have I felt such
    peace                                                       ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­      
the way God wants me to be

Go ahead and point your finger at
me,                                                              ­    
                                                            ­                                                            
   I only reflect your own
insecurities                                                    ­                                                        
        ­                                                                 ­                                             
Call me the names that cause you
fear,                                                            ­                              
                                                                ­                                                  
afraid of what you don't want to
hear                                                             ­     
                                                                ­                                                  
Gang up on me with your group of
friends,                                                         ­ 
                                                                ­                                            
worrying that they'll turn on you in the
end                                                            
                                                                ­                                        
Persecute me & deflect from the
truth                                                        
   ­                                                                 ­                                    
convince them that you have some
proof                                                      
     ­                                                                 ­                                        
Mock how I'm comfortable in my
skin,                                                            ­                              
                                  ­                                                                 ­             
as you fight the torture from  
within                                                           ­ 
                                                               ­                                                         
I know you hate admiring me the
most                                                             ­   
                                                                ­                                                
you're in the shadows, I am your
ghost                                                      
                                                                ­                                               
  While you are taking turns hurting
  me,                                                          
­                                                                 ­                                     
remember I am who you want to be

Dear other woman,                                                           ­                                     
                                                                ­                                                        
he doesn't care about you,                                                             ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­            
he was once my man                                                              ­                                                  
and at one time I was you                                                              ­                                                                 ­                                                                
­                                                                 ­                                                   
He'll never
checkup                                                          ­                                            
                    ­                                                                 ­                                   
to make sure you're
okay                                                             ­                         
                                                                ­                                                  
and when he's had
enough,                                                          ­                                
                                                                ­                                                    
he will be on his way                                                              ­                              
                                  ­                                                                 ­             
He'll spend his
weekends,                                                        ­                          
                                      ­                                                                 ­       
doing what he wants                                                            ­                  
                                                                ­                                        
Hanging out with friends,                                                         ­                       
                                                                ­                                                  
and you stay home alone                                                            ­                  
                                              ­                                                                
You'll be up all night,                                                           ­           
                                                     ­                                                       
waiting by the phone                                                            ­                            
                                    ­                                                                 ­            
 and he'll start a
fight                                                            ­                                  
                                                                ­                                                    
  so, he can stay out on his
own                                                              ­                              
                                  ­                                                                 ­           
You'll think he's
cheating,                                                        ­                              
                                  ­                                                                 ­              
 he'll say it's in your
  mind                                                          ­                              
                                                                ­                                                    
  He will have you
  thinking,                                                     ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­      
that you're wasting his
time                                                             ­           
                                                                ­                                                  
Just when you think you                                                              ­                    
                                            ­                                                                 ­   
can't take it anymore                                                          ­                                                    
            ­                                                                 ­                                    
  and you have the
proof                                                            ­                                  
                              ­                                                                 ­                       
to nail his *** to the floor,                                                           ­                   
                                                                ­                                                
here come the flowers                                                          ­                                                    
                                                                ­                                                    
so, he can get back in                                                               ­                                   
                                                                ­                                            
Giving him back the
power,                                                           ­                           
                                     ­                                                                 ­                
to cheat on you again                                                            ­                            
                                    ­                                                                 ­                   
I know you are wondering,                                                       ­               
                                                 ­                                                                
 why I am confiding in
you,                                                             ­                   
                                                                ­                                                    
  it's because I've been
  there,                                                        ­                                        
                        ­                                                                 ­                           
and at one time I was you

Sometimes you have to fall on your knees,                                                           ­ 
                                                                ­                                                        
to prove how strong you can really
be                                                              
                                                                ­                                                      
The ability to get back
up,                                                             ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                           
can make you hard, make you
tough                                                           ­                                                   
                                                                ­                                    
    Sometimes you have to shed some tears                                                            ­        
to realize how to fight your fears
                                                                 ­                                                  
You know what they all say,                                                             ­         
                                                       ­                                                         
there are gonna be better days                                                             ­           
                                                                ­                                                      
A broken heart can heal
itself,                                                          ­              
                                                                ­                                                
with a little love, a little
help                                                             ­                           
                                     ­                                                                 ­        
Don't just give your heart
away                                                             ­                                             
                                                                ­                                          
because someone tells you it's
okay                                                             ­     
                                                           ­                                                   
Love's not all that it's cracked up to
be                                                              
­                                                                 ­                                                 
and being alone doesn't mean
lonely                                                           ­           
                                                     ­                                                            
  Learn to love yourself the
  best                                                          ­                
                                                                ­                                                 
 and let God do all the
  rest                                                          ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­     
  Be your own true & best friend,                                                          ­
                                                                ­                                                     
  we all die alone in the
  end                                                           ­                 
                                               ­                                                                 ­    
Do what is right between you &
you,                                                             ­   
                                                             ­                                                     
life is beautiful when you do