As I walk down this winding road
Like a walking toad
The reason I don’t jump
I’m carrying this heavy load
The nights are cold
The road is lonely,
But I will never fold
I live this life alone
They all think I’m whole
I’m broken, I’m falling
Down an endless hole
When will I reach the end
When will I be consoled,
I really don’t know
Though I just move on
Taking this road in my stride
Although it’s really slow
Trying to live life
And just let it all go
Everything’s my foe
From the crawling ant, to the flying crow
So……
This is what I live with daily
So just maybe
You get where I’m coming from
And I just don’t seem crazy
I’m detached from this world
And reality seems a bit hazy
So I put this pen to paper, In an effort…
To save me

I remember how you use to hide your tears inside the downpour.
Always prayed to be the one to  lift and be your Savior
Your teary smile my downfall yet in my eyes you grandeur
Poetry in motion by elegance you revered.

This is sincere, a window to my soul inside its depth you have peered.
A piercing light from your eyes luminous it appeared
Breaking through the dark in me and now the sky's seems so clear.

There's no fear
From this day forward I will be your smiles protector
Behead the evil of this world , headless, it's decapitator.

In this life we narrators
Idling as life unfolds, never in control. Jesus take the wheel.
merely passengers.

Fake freedom sold to us
Like caged birds our path to true freedom locked. The holder of the key under the impression it's what we need or want.

All I want is to build a life unencumbered
Put in the effort reap the rewards
Without all the judgement
Our beliefs may differ, tolerance.

I  want you to know

They see life's hardship still in your eyes
l see your heart in its endless paradise
I see your smile still go on for miles

I'm sorry

Was your sacrifice now I feel part of a vice
We drifting unless another plan we devise
love is still there, its in the touch and the stares
Life got us stepping, hardship, invisible stairs
Faced it together kissing while making repairs
I cant believe where we are I know we still care
Invested our relationship is growing in shares

I promise

To tell you I love you daily
To love you forever sweetly
To cherish our love greatly

do  you not remember
When we were in heaven
that night we were together
after all storms weathered
to your lies I surrender
now by hate we tethered
all your tears I've savored

Why do we think its love we need
When hates all it breeds, a carried disease
Why do you think loves a dream
A cloud full of steam, tears cry it weeps
Why do you think some kids hearts bleeds
It's love they need, it's locked up and keyed
Why do think loves drenched in deceit
Our love can mislead, we believe we are free

just admit we broken
just admit we souless
just admit we love less
Just admit we are guests
our love cant stand the test
In tears we become obsessed
red thread of fate has become stretched
from this place we should digress

You know this is over, choking while we breathe
addicted to tears while groping, blinded we cannot see
lying I feel like a poser, knowing how we feel
we both know this is over, .........living in constant grieve

I get lost on your curvaceous silhouette
Whispered calls to my heart on the backdrop of a starry night sky.
A galaxy of awaiting wonder

A journey I willingly venture on.
Swim in your sweet essence, sip on the nectar of your intoxicating love.
Your flowing hair red as mars, cascading as the milky way

Your eyes where my paradise lies, brighter than the brightest stars.
Radiating beauty, it lights even the darkest hour of my life.

You are my earthly Angel, even the heavens adorned our union.

Our growing love like the universe ever expanding.
Together hand in hand, with locked lips ascend beyond time.

Hi,

I started as a poet on hello poetry and it helped me perfect my craft a bit. I have since moved on to apply those trades to writing music.

Please check out my music, if you like the content please support me

If you like my music, please follow on platforms below.

greatly appreciated

Twitter : @WAlphabetically
Instagram : farzeef

bandlab.com/writtenalph

This my latest

https://soundcloud.com/faizel-farzee/treachery?si=94eb03f7ccd0467e8f2a1264965b17e5

The sound of battle sings around me, a voice armored
Deaths favorite track drenched with hope and tearstained destinies cut short, silently plays
My name screaming across his cold lips
Do I give my soul already condemned willingly
My demons caged, rattles my spirit from an eternal slumber
Waking a memory of a blessed love waiting in cloaked fear
I stand as if the mountains themselves  has given me their roots
Her echoed love carries me forward, as fear chooses to fear
I move with the might of my comrades fallen
Courage lends me its strength
Lashing out as the hatred of the innocent lives lost fuels me
I strike with the force of demons possessed
The blood of my victory seeps from my wounded sword
Cries of a battle won rains tears of elation
Breathing underrated as death screams….
Knowing.... I chose to live.

I get lost in your smile, a rose among thorns
You've been blossoming for awhile

I get lost in your eyes, windows to one's soul
a kaleidoscope of colors
I'll never make them cry

I get lost when you whisper,
The sweet nothings drips from your lips
Our tongues together quiver

I get lost when we touch
Your skin a silken petal
embraces the senses with lust

i get lost when you speak,
your words leading me on a journey
this path of discovery is so sweet

You get lost within me,
they say love is blind
our love for one another
is clearly.............all we ever see

Her smile lights the room like the stars lights the night sky….
She pulled out a gun and started to cry…..
I shouted and screamed oh why? God Why?
At this point she turned to me and said….
Sorry it’s not intended for you but intended for Fred.
Fred jumped from behind me with a befuddled face….
She shouted there you are you ******…
I heard about you and Grace.
Fred looked at me like his pleading for help…
I shouted I don’t know this man and you never were my pal.
She cocked and shouted you *******…
What happened next my friend I swear it’s legit.
Oh man I blacked out…..
I swear that was it.
Cheated
Her smile lights the room like the stars lights the night sky….
She pulled out a gun and started to cry…..
I shouted and screamed oh why? God Why?
At this point she turned to me and said….
Sorry it’s not intended for you but intended for Fred.
Fred jumped from behind me with a befuddled face….
She shouted there you are you ******…
I heard about you and Grace.
Fred looked at me like his pleading for help…
I shouted I don’t know this man and you never were my pal.
She cocked and shouted you *******…
What happened next my friend I swear it’s legit.
Oh man I blacked out…..
I swear that was it.
Cheated
Her smile lights the room like the stars lights the night sky….
She pulled out a gun and started to cry…..
I shouted and screamed oh why? God Why?
At this point she turned to me and said….
Sorry it’s not intended for you but intended for Fred.
Fred jumped from behind me with a befuddled face….
She shouted there you are you ******…
I heard about you and Grace.
Fred looked at me like his pleading for help…
I shouted I don’t know this man and you never were my pal.
She cocked and shouted you *******…
What happened next my friend I swear it’s legit.
Oh man I blacked out…..
I swear that was it.

My mind at times, spins like the barrel of a powerful gun,
It's triggered

Words whisper to the walls in my mind, doors creakingly opened to it's hidden secrets
It's Unlocked

These words seeping, trickling towards my pen,
Inked to these healing pages
I wrote

I reach out to the silhouette of you, a figment of my memory
A ghost

Like a teary river trickles seamlessly in a eternal stream -
It deathlessly flows

Like a sprouting flower extends its reach to the anticipating sun-light
life of it's being -
It searchingly grows

Like the sinful wind chasing the dreams of
dreamless clouds-
It forcefully blows

Like your fire flied smile illuminate
the darkest hour of my life -
It illuminating glows

Like the checkered past cloaks from a hopeful
future, out of site-
It progressively goes

Like a mind-full poem speaking leaves a grey mattered mystified perception -
It sense-fully knows

how do I still love you when everything screams to let you go
how do i still care when your icy  goodbye left me cold as snow
How do i still need you when you left me swinging
from high to low
How do i still feel you, when your silloute is but a ghost
no longer want to be here ,without you not a home
loneliness the darkness silence
dictates the melody of your metranome

tears falling to the sound of raindrops, emotions twisted cycloned
shards of glass all around, broken soul by happiness disowned

heart screaming, the devil  he knows
you left me, a candle, wickless to the bone,
shine blown out by your lies, tears me to tears, rivers I cry, heart turned to stone

leaving me lifeless, ready to fight less
lay down and just drown.
leaving me broken severed deboned
increasingly seemingly love was disowned
miss your soothing tone, all i can do is scream at my phone

loneliness wont leave me alone, feels i should atone
measured  never known lost my pleasant tone
every thought my displeasure shown
every last  pleasure stolen,  hope overdosed
it's lifeless forever on this dangling rope
never so i cant cope
tangled up in a strangeling grip
lifes book angrily wrote

truthful note to heaven it wish to float.
sad notes emotions tearing a dog fight
truth your enemy it took flight
bad nights  functions disabled,
lies keeping me awake at night
tribulations my daily plight
no modern knight
felt tall with you, disheveled I lost all height
faulting  with ease, the stranger in the mirror staring back at me, he lost his fight, dont think he'll ever be all right.


this the end for me, love and i will never be
friends again from it  i flee
all i can do  get lost in reverie
reliving hapiness in memories under pretense
treachery
whatever be honestly I dont have the energy, i feel i will never heal not in this century

you can listen to the actual song

bandlab.com/writtenalph

You took everything from me, the moment that you said that you leave
My lungs is now pleading me, constricted so I cannot breathe
Why you feel like hurting me, you know for you I'll always bleed
You know your tears are crushing me, why you blind and cannot see

Took everything from me, everything I need to breathe
take away your kisses, It was the touch I need to feel
why yo got to be heartless, forever in love was the deal
Why I got only memories, Playing on a saddened reel
Messes with my sensory, tears of sorrow I cant conceal
your silhouette still present, like I'm in a waking dream
reality a nightmare, waking moments left to scream

You know that I need you, everyday and every night
You know that without you, the moon will never shine as bright
you know that I'm hurting, daily heartache becomes my plight
You know that I'm broken, left in the dark with no sunlight

As I speed and strife, on this insanely busy highway we call life
Completely swaying wildly as I dodge their gloves
The bell rings as I swing…
He dodged it, like it was in honor of his wife
Out the corner I come, rough and ready, my legs are steady
I fell like steel, but just hot and sweaty
Swing and a miss, it looks like I just dodged his fist
Man that’s close, I feel like I should toast to this
Red wine? or White wine?
Wait! I ain’t got time for this, or I mean don’t misgis
Back to the fight….
I connect like Thors hammer and he just took flight
It’s over I think, better get a drink, to toast my might
Oh wait never mind, I think I just dropped the mike
Or the pen in this instance, trust me I just might, be high as a kite.

How, Is the world not saying something? Why, This total disconnect?

They grabbed our ancestors from thier paradise to work on stolen land, no matter what civilization in the process they wreck.
Leader of the free world I lol with discontent.
This whole situation is parallax completely wrecked

Now that they have build you your nation, in return ask for a little respect
Suddenly you forget
There was a entire civalisation living peacefully before you on horse back

You completely wiped them out

Then proceeded to cultivate that blood land on their enslaved ancestors back
Now they suddenly not welcome
Like a reject, you want to send them back
They have no home, you made sure throughout history, made sure of that fact.
That is their home now, equality a notion you intentionally hiding from or is it attempting to forget.

The land you stole it, but it was "slaves" that made the biggest impact, nations stolen from homes knees placed on their neck. Their culture captured in musuems, then as  slaves they were tagged.
From a conscious mind, how messed up is that.

Don't get me wrong, I know it's only a certain sect. Then make your voice heard, don't just disconnect, it's a world problem we need to dissect, let your voice fly united for bigger effect.

It was our ancestors, the retort Then, Why, Is this still happening?

All we want is for everyone to be able to walk down the street without fearing death because of colour of skin.
Something we have no control over, unless made in a dish
I pray for a shooting star so this I can wish
All they hear is gun fire, and they fear the grims scythe
Keep them safe.

By the hand of ignorance

Please not like this, not by someone that spews lies and hatred on a daily basis yet no one even bats a eye or blinks. Money truly equals power, by now you should be sold on this.
A guy that that don't know the meaning of words, it alludes him, yet he's running the "free" world
To us this should be a diss.

What does this say about the state of human consciousness , it's a miss.

This causes dismay..

This world is currently sinking
It's way past a point of decay
If this was the Titanic we would running for the life boat, which they control.

This world is currently dying, I feel its cold.

They have it by the throat, It's life slowly fades
Unless the world United make a tremendous noise
I fear nothing will ever change.

When life throws you lemons
Throw it back with rage,
This is your life
Don't let it invade your stage
You the lead actor, it's your play
You not a passing facade
You the producer,
Your play is evergreen, so it's here to stay
So take the negativity
Give it face
Then smash it
And call out, not today
You are the artist of your film
........never just fade away.

standing in a full moonlight
understanding life a crashlanding
multiplied
even if we were supermen we
walking on kryptonite every breath
is a fight
a path lit by candlelight
demanding we ranting while
withstanding a stamping till you hit bottom
a spanking
superman doesn't die start standing time to stand in
for the things I stand for not for standing
when I impact I'm a meteorite
for my kids, I'll get crucified

while singing them
a lullaby, against life I can't lay down and die
I'm a dog with fight to life I'm a dogfight
They keep missing my understanding leading to misunderstandings all I am is standing outside
calling to be outstanding
running this rat race
while straddling my kid's hands praying they don't let go and watch me fall

from grace my failure realized
Would I be surprised,  these thought suicide
denied I'm Brutus when I pop eyes
while my syllables break decibels amplified
a gun in a knife fight there is only one side
my past I rewrite midnight when its dark outside
silence my solace while I reach for the finish line
while my sound byte outright in your head resides

The demons within life
i battle constantly
Exorsising them out
I need a constantine
Overun by these shadows, they always lingering
Bringing with it constant chaos
In reality so it seems
I try my hardest to overcome
they dragging me down
Im barely afloat
So does this mean that I drown
I feel them picking at flesh
But I will never ever frown
I know in my heart I will overcome
Surviving this onslaught
Until I wear the crown
the waves of chaos is constant
Overboard I get thrown
Fighting wave after wave
how apart we have grown
My smile only widens
Knowing I will never go down
If i do, I get up again
As i am not on my own
My life is sacred
And so is my kin
the only constant
With the joy that they bring
I draw from my strength
And my heart start to sing
The notes is blissfull
So It makes away with the sting
If this sounds awfull
I have to deal with the stink
the aftermath
and desease that you bring
I have to shake this feeling
Like a coctail blend
And just move forward
In this conflicting end
And truth is....
Theres nothing wrong that I did

My fingertips softly glides along it's silken surface.
Skin as soft as feathered silk
In servertude we are to our love.
Pleasing all of you my eternal life's purpose .

Your florescent smile against the backdrop of a starry night.
The dim moon envious of its glow.
It illuminate the darkened universe.
Your radiant essence eternally my guiding light.

Your birth the wings of my confidence.
like the wind guides a feather
You make me want to be a better me
Soar to a higher consciousness.

You are my heavenly earthly angel
Your tongue taste devine
Our union blessed in nirvana
Our love religious, devotees, it has it's own shrine..

Can you not see that I'm fragile
My heart you own wholeheartedly
I declared this out loud
There is no space for another
Yet
your heart has a devide
I see it hourly, if only you knew
It slowly kills me inside
I wish I could just let go
Rip open your eyes
You are the cause of my sorrow
The cause of my demise
You are slowly breaking me
If you don't feel what I feel
Let's say our good by's
I cannot be the one to leave
As your love, I still need daily to breathe
So please, I beg of you
It's just me
That I want you to see
We went through so much
I just wish I could break free
But it looks like
I'll just continue to die in this union forever......
Silently

As I swallow these torrid wave of rollercoaster emotions
seeping through every memory of me
Memories armed with regret and lustful vengeance, is the preferred word with which it speaks
A hateful seed born from betrayal of a godly union
Born from eternal love….
A love that now seethes with scythed hatred, words enflamed and vengeful, it’s only salvation
As the tears rains down with reality of a loving touch
now burns your skins thought
The emptiness is filled with burning hatred and stabbing sorrowed pain
The thought of their love sealed with your kiss, burns more deeply than thoughts of not existing
A eternal love lost
A betrayal your precestors will have imbedded to their soul forever
As your beautiful life force drips from a bitter sweet knifes edge
The angels whisper…….

I stand on a frozen lakes ledge, staring Into the cold eyes of darkness
It whispers it loves me, while clutching my bleeding heart
Daggers through my frailty, tearing our paradise apart
Our love use to harmonize
Promises you made, a masquerade of truths
Our fairytale, storybook lies.

Your honied kisses sweetened my dreams
In nightmares now your name I scream
In our world, you were made my queen
What stands before me in tears
A lying angel, a crying fiend.

You wont see me cry
I hide my tears in the downpour
You were suppose to be my savior
All you are is a lie

You the schism that split me
You caused this divide
Bitter tonight my lullaby
On my knees, I say good bye.

A phoenix rising from the ashes, drenched with the possibility of a new tomorrow
.... hope

I want to be married to a  future with this love obsessive, insatiable, I can't wait
....elope

The future is my protection from a hated past,my saviour, it will released me from caged thoughts ... escape

The enemy is myself,questioning self worth, getting in lost in despair
.......hate

This face that I wear, Is to hide my Tue self, this lie that I'm living
.......fake

I look upon the starry sky,
Broken hearts represents these stars
All the sorrow of past lives captured within this burning inferno,
Burning with the fueled tears of saddened lovers.
Yearning for the return of their adorned soulmate
Lost in a endless war,
For the greed of sinister men
Paying their toll with broken spirits and torn memories
Paid in full,
With the blood of the innocent
Their stories,
Forever alight
on this darkened canvas
....Eternally captured......

Though the sun is shining
Around me it constantly rains
I wish I could walk on water
Just to float for a change
When the effort you strive to put in
Just get skewed and flayed
Do you give up
or just run from this race
a world frozen and so cold
we must icily face
fighting day in and day out
yet We still sink in this space
is this world a disgrace
since when did our moral compass
get so magnetically displaced
wish daily i could retrace
every missed step i ever took
yet that’s a wish I can’t make
so I have to be relentless
in this journey I take
give everything, every second
and just hope I don’t break
I can’t shout loud enough
because the air I breathe is just fake
it’s not giving me life
but an losing fight that i hate

When will I realis
This life is not fair
These souls would rather slit your throat
Than show that they care
This wicked truth within my mind
Is stripped slowly bare
Sometimes I wish I could rip my chest open
Give you my heart
So you can listen to what it shares
A mirage of broken dreams
It's like being caught in a whirlwind
A merry-go-round snare
It's my living nightmare
Choking on oxygen
Do I breathe, I don't dare

Slowly it draws every last breath
every step  that we take
moves us closer to death
this truth we have to face
no matter what the evidence
it's an open shut case
live with no regrets
because your life you cant retrace
in this life we have a stake
live life to the fullest
no matter the odds or mistakes.

Run like there's no tomorrow
Cry only to alliviate sorrow
Live like our time is borrowed
lets not cower
take this life by the neck
imprint you are not a coward
the hurt makes us stronger
punch with everything you made of
even sorrow we devour
churn it in our soul
then spit out flowers
let your flamed courage bring forth the rain
let it decend
It's a metoer shower
let this winged words take you higher
soar above the chaos
i bet life will seem brighter
we are all born as fighters
its for us not give up
in this world
with all the power

We walk this winding road in a state of decay, It's cascading unhurriedly, deteriorating quietly. Like dying leaves in the fall, it's death falling silently.

A hushed tone to the tone deaf
signs signalling all around
screeching on collided tracks
a train-wreck
We continue with this one track mind
Telescope equaling tunnel vision
It makes it easier to ignore visualising facts.
Keep faith with a system built by ancestors
Who's fix was genocide and unwarranted wrath
Where is the sense in that.
With the downtrodden and their broken backs covered in death their wealthy tracks
rewrote history without a inch of tact
nations made to disappear
truth be told, looks like that sort of dark magicians back.

Lessons not learned  
Make us believe our livings basis is math
Education  singed to history
A crimson moon lit by untruths
We deaf-ly continue to dance to the same horror-ed tune
Our murderous march equal to suicide
Our morals compass corrupt
like windows in a error state
It's magnetized  needle had crashed
smilingly walking  this destructive path.
Truly the only end in sight, a ****** bath.

Is this not crazy?
like a merry go round wearing the tears of the world flexing in insanity's pants.
Moon walking
falling in the same backtracking tracks
Taking a giant leap for mankind
yet our mentality's still stuck in a timeless past
2020 fighting for equality amidst a deadly  virus attack
If this is not the epitome of a human race in digress
Like running on a treadmill backwards never evolving
hopelessly moving, yet stuck in one place
With truth caught in a ever revolving messy mess.

Losing unnecessary lives is pure nonsense
Like Trump in office it makes no sense
Like a lemon peel hand in hand with hope lost
Seeking for it blindly is living life bitter with a bad taste
The majority is woke, mostly not fake
It's the leaders sleeping on change
Like mount Rushmore it's struggling changing its face.

The power to them is addictive, it's so dope.
They would rather one by one slit our throats
Get buried with all the dead trees that made them rich
Then give dying world a ounce of hope.
I lol,  but this is no joke
Maybe this is my outlet, or just a way to cope.
Knowing the earths dying slowly ....
Yet we still harmfully searching for hope.

Like the army corpses paying for caskets
While the rich gorge on gluttony
Wolf in sheep clothing
When they just fat little pigs
That's rich...
Sometimes I feel they had just switch off
the light in the world, like a light switch
Well that's rich!
Why?
So this world can be reborn
When the first light kisses a retiring night
A new aged dawned
With divide and ruling the ensuing chaos
Encaged in a fake freedom
Our thoughts caught in what's right and what's wrong, what they will say
Don't offend or joke or be or breathe
This the life we lead, conscious but struggling to breathe
You have to be what they want
Even if  you just want peace
Say without boundary or offending belief
We living on eggshells
While the world gnawed to its core slowly bleeds
Are we really free?
Or is this just a perception perceived?
There are lines in this world
If we cross them are we deceased or are we

This is writing at its finest
I’m speaking to you, I guess you blinded
Let’s rewind it
Take a second to relax
Just exhale, let me try and explain the facts

I write to be different
Conforming to conformity
To me it’s a sin
I grin
The worlds in a spin
Greed rule, and our moral light is set to dim
I see the dark of this world
But have nowhere to swim

I’m drowning again
Can you not feel the pain
I’m not talking about mine, but those children’s dying in vain
Being slain
For someone else’s gain
Why can’t these monsters just refrain
I guess it’s a global issue
Though I still have disdain
Why should it stay the same
Just maybe
This life is a rigged game
It’s insane
Wait, let me stop
Before I start writing in flame

Are we walking this life blindly
A plan with no direction
thoughts absent minded
Is there a purpose to all this
Questions denying answers
answered refusing questioning
At times we feel mindless

I'm losing faith
Tears prayerless
Our prayer faithless
We choking on oxygen
Our voices voiceless
Gasping to breathe
Our breath breathless

The hate in this world
It's overwhelming and tasteless
These culprits faceless
masters of masquerade
unmentionable and nameless.

Caskets of war a profit made shameless
Their blood money heartless
Rivers of saddened tears
To them wasted and fated
compared to riches, weightless

It's unfortunate
This the worlds bases
morals laces with shamelessness
2020 we still dealing with racists
Its like hate's contagious
we can combat it with love
Though even it seems hopeless

Put up our hands
we have to be courageous
inside ourselves we have greatness
together we not shapeless
If we march as one
this world can be painless

As I ink this lie
I realize the problem is imbedded in the ages
No one is rowing this boat
Navigation aimless
So we find faith somewhere
The light shines within us
Continue this unknown with grace
Movement Gracious.

Death calls silently from the distant abyss
Angelic voice of freedom sincere
This ailing body my minds prisoner
Living longer a constant fear

Songs of jolly laced the night
Thought of regret my only sight
Longing for end my companion
Longing for a loving touch my plight

They sing of joy, happiness and giving
Yet they forget their neighbors, family and living
Laughter sounds like blades singing
How loves embrace I'm wishing

With every drawn breath
I feel I'm cheating death.
I see beauty in nothingness.
Arms openly waiting to be fetched.
The world I detest, steals your youth.
Then send you lonely to rest.

This mirrored image staring back at me
I don't know who she is.
Loneliness the title of her memoirs  
I don't recognize the scars.

The world a limitless ocean of chaos
Yet, we joyful willing to drown.
Sing the halls of nights so lonely
This my only Christmas song

I spew this enflamed and enraged words
weighted heavily with sorrowful regret
The vivid memory of a promise broken, shakes my reason for living
A promise that our entwined souls sealed with a kiss
A promise seeping with such illuminating purity, Angels adorned our union.
The memory slowly ripped from my unsuspecting soul as the words screamed across your bitter sweet lips.
These words that shook every fiber of my being
It lingers with a numbing sorrow, it is as  death himself pried it from your cold lips
These words….
That only the devil himself could have forged in the deepest pits of hell.
Good bye!
The eternal vow to have your craved embrace for all eternity
To have your love as my soul mate even long after this world is a forgotten memory
As I look upon this broken mirror scattered to all corners of this dreaded existence
I can see the shards of my broken heart among them
An eternal vow….Broken

" Like a phoenix rising from the ashes, drenched with a possibility of a new tomorrow"

I admit defeat
Emotions clouded as I try and speak
I call your name
it softly comes out weak
You were my everything
Then your heart wrenched deceit
This feeling I now better know it seems
My heart soared when you were mine
Now it has no beat
What happened to that promise
Forever we will be
Was it that much of a pain for you to keep
Tears drench your picture as I now weep
When will I be free, from this suffering

How I just wish you could see
How completely broken your love left me
My expectations
I guess was too hard to meet
To expect love in return
Or was that dream to sweet
Our life was perfect
Why would you do this to it
Just how quick
You forget how we were in lust
It’s making me wholeheartedly sick
You pierced my soul
Now it’s dark and cold
Please God
I beg you, to just end it all

I look for blue sky like the caged for freedom
Emotions of deep regret pours to poison my weak existence
How do I fight these poisonous demons
These demons caged singed to my broken past…
Is there truly solace for the weak
My battles scars screaming my name from my subconscious mind
Bleeding from my dreams….
Am I truly free or will the curse of friends lost befriend my shadow for eternity
Have I not given enough
These darken thoughts a constant reminder of who I truly am…
I am…
I fought with a scythed blade forged with the love of family
Like the shining light of ten thousand fire flies your smile lifted me from me
You… are my guiding hand from this bottomless existence
With every breath I take,
I pledge to you my past and present lives
You are my savior….my eternal love
My salvation

Running blindly
lungs start to scream
thoughts mindless
sorrow endless
Nightmarish dream.

Living this lucid reality
memories vivid visual 3D
Visions morphs beastly
Oceans coal a black sea
Cascading dark all I see
Choking on oxygen
gasping to breathe
Screaming in silence
My voice start to leave
fall to my knees
the dark inverts
It's all my eyes sees

Shaken, A rude awakening

Awake on a Horse
Followed by the ace of hearts
Arrows swoosh my head it past
I hear a voice in the background
yelling, ' give him back the tarts
It's the queen of tarts hearts
She will take off your head
paraded headless, call it face arts
encountered a army, came to a halt

As the axe touches my skin
awake in agony my neck attached
hands cant move, I start to overreact
If I must guess, buries in a casket
I cant move or scream, getting tired
***, it feels like I'm dying
buried alive, tears started crying
I feel my last breath dissipate
soul torn from my body
I envision it flying

Am I Dead?

I hear a familiar beeping
My name its calling
to my soul it's speaking
I get pulled back to unreality
I opened while shrieking
sweating overheating
was I awake or sleeping
Am I awake now?
Answers misleading

My soul still seeking
the only answer it gets
whispers from my demons

God take this pain away
these struggles are real so many i have have faced
i burdened my soul with them
it left it suited and stained
how i wish it could change
bring some some light to this darkness
and pull me out of this place
it's like a ending never race
no matter how hard i try
i just end up disgraced
i wish my pain could be felt
like the happiness on my face
this smile that i carry
i don't know, maybe it's fake
having to suffer in silence
without having to break
how much more can i take
how more can i give
will i ever be free
of hell on this earth
i believe every one feels this
at one time or another
so all i can say is
i feel you, my sister or brother
it's feeling of disdain
a feeling that's insane
it pulls at who you are
it messes with your brain
all we can do is push through it
see it as rough terrain
i am not tapping out
just taking a breather
cause there's no giving up
as long as we breathing

Emotions, a started chainsaw
For this life
There is no exit door
This shadowed darkness
I still feel deeply raw
They all think that I’m flawed
Aren’t we all
Down to our perfect core
Going to war
Fighting with loved ones
To settle a score
It makes me really sore
For what,
Maybe it’s because we are bored..

With our lives
This life’s not divine
My pen leaks the tears of the world
I see it cry
The tears flowing from this pen
Again
Is me releasing my frustration
So I learn to stop hating
….everything