Ashes cover the ground where we once used to sleep,
I went back there and burned every memory I keep.
Like how people said our eyes are the same blue colour,
And how I used to argue that yours were brighter. (you never believed me)
They've changed in your pictures,
Like a broken scripture.
They now look dull,
Hollowed out holes in your skull.
Their brilliant glow lost,
As if you sold them, not caring the cost.
Mine echo the blue flames they've seen swallow everything they love.
Mine watched your blue wash all my joy like the rain above.

I know you've forgotten our dull blue,
But I will remember you.

You shoot through my body like you have
some right to be here,
Like you aren't disrupting anything.
I was fine without you.
And now I'm doubting myself and rethinking
everything.
You dug your way back into to my mind like it's
always been yours.
I had just learned how to breathe
without you,
And now I'm waiting around for you like
you own me;

You don't though.

It's a horrible, ruining feeling,
feeling alone whilst being surrounded by
those you call friends,
but you know in your heart and mind you will
never fit in with them,
You will always be an outcast.

It's a self-destructing feeling,
knowing that every single person you let in,
you will eventually push out.
Yet somehow you still
allow yourself to make family,
though in the end, you know anyone who
holds that title has only ever caused you to burn.
So you justify to yourself,
that they deserve to be locked out,
and never know why.

It's an honest feeling,
hating yourself for damaging the purity of
the innocent just because you've been
burned by others before.
Loathing the simple-minded,
when in fact you are jealous that their
innocence is still intact.
So you break it.
You break it and try to get even with the world,
and for that you honestly hate yourself.

Dark night
Flashing light
Piercing sound
You hit the ground
Old white room
Stench of doom
You were ill
Just lying still
Please don't go
Time moves so slow
5 hours pass
This can't last
I'm sick of white
Still, I hold on tight
Another hour
I won't shower
I won't even eat
I stay in my seat
It's now day
I know you're okay
I won't home back home
I won't go alone
I just can't sleep
Then a loud beep
I wait in the hall
A too loud noise
I keep my poise
She walks to me
Vision blurry, can't see
She starts to speak
My knees get weak
Running out
I try to doubt
I don't believe
You wouldn't leave
You are strong
They were wrong
Things they said
You aren't dead
I don't think
Just let it sink
I'm only numb
Because
Cancer won

Together we dance under the ceiling
Spinning around and around,
Love is such a wonderful feeling
Until you fall to the ground.

You threw innocent children into hell,
And they grew up alone, with no one to tell,
So they'll gather the last bits of their soul to sell,
And they'll always remember the day that they fell.

I light myself up from the inside out
just to feel something,
anything.
And sometimes,
if I'm lucky,
I can feel my lungs crumbling to ash.
The flames distract my heart
as smoke billows out of my throat,
I feel sane,
if I'm lucky.
My fingertips will burn
and my lips will crack
but I feel.
So I call it luck,
and breathe you out.