Fall in love
Get your heart broken
It makes for better writers

I wrote and I wrote and I wrote!
I stabbed the empty paper with
all the words that filled up my dry throat
I wrote and I wrote and I wrote!
till the nib grew old, bent and broke
O, I still wrote and I wrote and I wrote!
till my throat became as empty and white as the paper
I kept the paper to myself, I kept the words to myself
I swallowed it to feel whole,
but I choked, and I choked and I choked!
From then on, my presence was absent
nobody has ever heard my voice,
I couldn't and I never spoke!

- Kaya

You looked good today

It's been awhile I've seen your smile reflected in your eyes
You were looking at her but that's okay

I just got off the phone with you and you sounded the same like you did when you liked the one who broke you
You weren't talking about me but that's okay

You were crying, talking about how life was so cruel, how she broke you and how you were never falling in love again
You got together with your fifth girlfriend and her eyes tell a different story but that's okay

It was all okay to me. How you kept loving the wrong girls. You never looked at me that way but that's okay because I was there when you were fragile and I am there when your feelings are raw.

It's okay if you didn't feel the same towards me
I just want to see you happy

You wanted me to write you a poem
so I cut myself open and dipped the quill in my blood
and wrote, and wrote, and wrote
I wrote about the good and the bad
As my veins ran dry I scrolled out the last words
*"You asked to be my muse"

I am a mermaid but you can’t see it
I have no fins but I gleam and glisten
Under streams and showerheads
My skin glows, it’s soft to the touch
Caressed by the water
Oh so shiny and slippery
against the light
I’m usually granted no such embrace
For only water kisses the skin and holds the soul --
Air, so light and plentiful, is but the touch of a finger
I am greater than what I seem
I traverse rough seas
I captivate, I navigate
In the porcelain tub
And I am a mermaid -- but you can’t see it

Dear Grandma,

I love you. So much. And I smiled so big when I opened my e-mail and saw that you had already replied. I read your e-mail to my mom; we laughed and smiled together. I'm glad that you and Grandpa can laugh while reading my writing. It makes my heart glad to know that what I have to say makes a positive and impacting influence on my readers.

On being careful to not dispose of items...you are so right, and I thank you, ever dearly, for the amazing, experiential advice. It makes me think of times I've been upset and ripped out pages I had previously written, all because of some stupid thing somebody may have said to speak death over me.

I doubt that I'll ever really understand what certain people mean when what they have to say to others is all but joyful and/or uplifting in any way. God knows, though, praise Him. I've been trying my best to speak a lot of life into my heart and soul. I had been super busy, and as a result, I hadn't had enough time to really sit and ponder the way I sometimes, negatively, judged those around me. I silently speak death over them, in reality, and to me, that is one of my most disliked qualities. People should love other people. Now, I want to add in, as a side note, that SPEAKING THE TRUTH IN LOVE counts as speaking life, and not death. I wish more of us humans were blunt and honest with ourselves, as far as telling somebody the very raw and complete truth. Nobody is ever going to get anywhere by being compliant their whole life. I feel so strongly about this because when I am down and not doing well, it DOES NOT help me to be told things such as,

"You'll be alright. Everything will be perfectly okay."

Lots of times circumstances stink, and when they do, it sure doesn't help me to hear somebody whisper that it'll be okay. I just need to be told that whatever I got goin' on, just kinda ***** at the moment. And maybe it will for a long time. But someday, I'll be glad to have had that experience, no matter how bad it might have been at that time. That's what I wish somebody would say to everybody going through stuff. Everybody needs somebody who will be life in the middle of his or her sadness.

Anyways, that's really inspiring about Green Mill, and how you were inspired to write what would soon be the prologue to your book. I really appreciate that; thank you for sharing your experience with me. It made me feel like I was really there, by the lake. I could almost feel the soft, cool breeze blowing my stray hair around. I could almost hear the little waves softly crashing to the rocky "shore." I love it when that happens, when writing becomes something I feel, and not just something I do.

I am so glad that you are alive, Grandma (and Grandpa). You are quite swell, and I mean it. I love you both so much.

© Melissa Carlson 2015

my second most read poem.
recording over 1000 reads.
with 0 likes,
in 3 collections I added it too.

the title.
is the reason there are no likes,
and the fact someone can't like a poem about *******,

when I talk about how they had lost their respect,
compared to any girl out there,

makes me feel less and less confident about the fact,
someone acted on my body like that,

for someone to be not only ***** but then physically abused,
and trying to spread the news

to show you what it does to a girl,
how gross you feel to look at yourself when ur mom wants to hurl,

where u lie when people ask you about your burn,
because you feel the torture will come back.

where you let anyone grab them.
because your blessed with triple D cups,

and at least you feel like you're not worthless,
and  because I named it grab my *****,
I dont Care,
I got no likes,

Like a boy gave my body,
No respect,

I think thats as fair to say as what he did to me,
as it's as fair to know I have a little over 800 views on the poem below,
and 20 likes.
about trauma too.
I don't get how this all adds up,

I got poems written about the same exact thing,
with 2, 3, 4 likes, not even 400 views some barley 200!
all about being ***** and abused,
but how come this one,
had been ignored,
and overlooked,
a ******* name,

thats cowardly
like a ******,
like an abuser,
were not one person could give someone respect after it was all taken from them,
and they wrote about it.
I just..