he left you
about two years ago
or maybe you left him

he called you a *****
he told you to shut the **** up
he slammed the door in your face

you called him a Liar
you said delete my number
you got on the next bus to nowhere

he used to call you
b   e    a       u      t       i  f      u      l
now he doesn't call you at all

but that time of your life was a mess
of ******* and existentialism
and a love hate relationship

you went to rehab
tried to fall in love with yourself
stopped letting strangers feel you from the inside

so maybe you were a *****
but he wasn't exactly a saint
you heard he got married three months after you broke up

to the girl
he cheated on you with
s h o t g u n     w e d d i n g

he kept so many secrets from you
he became a secret himself
he dug his grave with his lies

and maybe you were annoying
every time you asked, 'is this real'
but you needed to know if you were dreaming

because you could never get him out of your dreams
even when you were miles away
sleeping in someone else's bed

you think about calling him
sometimes, late at night
when you're alone

you're worried his wife might pick up
or the phone will wake the baby up
but really you're worried he won't want to talk to you

a Liar and a *****
but if he knocked on your front door
you'd fall into his arms all over again

people are not like seasons
it was not a change from summer
to winter

once summer is over
it never comes around again
no matter how badly you want it to

at some point in time
you needed him
but he needed you too

at some point in time
you were screaming your love
from rooftops

at some point in time
those ******* roofs
caved in underneath your feet

leaving you alone
with your thoughts
in a pile of rubble

two years later
and you still wake up sometimes
wondering if it's possible to still be in love

with someone who broke your heart
and tore it into pieces
two years ago

or maybe you broke his heart
but you often wonder
if he even had a heart at all

you never once saw it

He grabbed me by the hair
And beat me up.
I said, daddy stop it
Please not here.
Daddy, I don't know who you are
Daddy, you're not my daddy
Any more
Daddy, go away.

He punched me several places,
Several times
Until I bled.
Until I hated him enough
To spit on his face.
Until I loved him enough
To believe I deserved it.

He screamed I was a *****.
He screamed it so many times
It got to my head
And changed the way
I saw myself.

I said, daddy not here,
Not today.
But he beat me up
Harder.


F.Z.**N

have you ever fallen into a pit of complete and utter lonely misery only to be awoken by the touch of porcelain torn up fingers screaming for God to have mercy on your mind, and I swore to all of the fallen angels the sky got a little brighter every time she prayed, but God doesn't smile with his teeth and he's laughing every time you get on your knees for him.

Eenie Meenie Miney Moe
You're just another ***
Never saying "no" & NOT **** fo' show
Beyond  ****** is where you go
The nasty crust is what you are below

A busted *** ratchet
With a scandalous habit
So bounce *****, with  that ****
Or you're going to get hit
Peace out **** it
You need to just quit
Karma is what you're going to get
Because ******* DONT  FORGET

You're  not classy, just a slutty *****
With legs like a revolving door
Open to anyone wanting to score
But your ***** is stank & rotten to the core!
With more than one new STD sore
Just like I said before
BOUNCE,***** no one wants MORE!

No one knows I skipped my shower last night because I was too depressed to get out of the bed,
that I cried myself to sleep last night because I felt like a dammed *****,
or that I took one look in the mirror and emptied the contents of my stomach last night.
No one knows that I'm not just the smart girl in the front of the class.

She's dressing up like an angel,
with wings on the corners of her eyes
and a halo around her neck.
Glitter-glossed lips to lock in a smile,
tightly winding a dress around her hips;
she's dressing to forget.
There's nothing good about a girl who is sad.

And she's got a tremble in her fingertips,
her pulse pressing against her skin
as she stares at the creature in the mirror.
Two dull eyes with a sad silver lining,
and a broken blush upon her cheeks;
she's seeing things that aren't her.
There's nothing good about a girl who is sad.

And she exhales tired sighs,
with failed wishes and last minute hopes,
letting it all die away with the rest of herself.
Because her mother never taught her love,
and her father never showed her what's right;
only leaving her to fall into the dangers of the world.
*There's nothing good about a girl who is sad.

What a silly little girl,
Thinking you'd be something more,
Than just late night, drunk ***,
Rolling on the floor.
How naive it was of you,
To pretend you had a chance,
So take your slap to the face,
And wallow in your ignorance.