Twilight mornings remind me of coffee tables and study notes
Sometimes I smell spray paint through open windows,
Even on the nights I ditch my cans for insanity
Breakfast-less mornings are recipes for undone laundry
And unturned plant leaves and un-salted tears
One morning, the porch’s railings crumbled in my hands
And fell over on the splattered rug sitting outside the green door
That I stumbled over and waited for fresh milk deliveries on
I find unlit cigarettes on the windowsill that taught me patience
And tornados in a mind that is too beautiful for damaged thoughts
I press petals over open cuts that never get the chance to bleed
And ice the bruises that refuse to turn green
But beside laptop keys that spell out what they know
I hit dlt over and over again; that’s what I know
The only other thing besides surety strung on tree branches
Are orange leaves sharp suns coated in silver
The shark tooth hanging from a string around my neck
Was only a metaphor that caused trouble

I crave a life without worry and stress, but it's getting hard these days to wade through the mess...

There's so much to enjoy still and fun times to be had, with the great things life delivers I ought to be thankful and learn to be glad...

A long time has past by whilst facing life's problems alone, my heart sometimes feels as if it's turning to stone...

The annoying thing is joy and laughter come so easy for me, with these black clouds in the way it's just the misery I see...

Away from the sorrow and away from the pain, all I ask is to feel happiness again.

After all your lies,
Your wandering eyes,
The incessant tries,
Try,
       Try,
             Try again
To make this work
To understand,
I try to leave and you hold my hand,
Can't you see?
You can't break me.

Do not mistake patience
For stupidity
Do not confuse weakness
With compassion.
Seems I'm always waiting for the passion to come.
Just like I wait for you
To come around.
But you just keep going around
While I keep stickin around
Wounded
But not beaten.
I WON'T be broken.

Not by you,
Not by this,
None have succeeded in the past
You're not the first
(And probably not the last.)
I WON'T BE broken.

Strong, BOLD
Not afraid to be alone
Funny thing, is that its kinda sad,
I was already alone
The whole time I was WITH YOU,
I was WITHOUT YOU.
You're empty.

You think its gonna make a bit of difference to me?
So don't YOU feel sorry for me.
I'm free.
I'm whole.
I'm new.

(Its you, You, YOU!
Underneath your clothes
In between your soul
I know a part of you that no one knows)
You're the one at the end of the day
Who's going to wonder
Why you ****** it all away
Looking for the missing piece
You find and then throw away...
But not me,
Not I.
Look at me.
               Touch me,
                               Feel me...
You didn't break me.
  
I'm alive.
You can break my heart,
But, oh no, not my spirit.
You CAN'T break me.
I WON'T BE BROKEN.

I can't believe how idiotic I was.

Loving you was harder than David's stone, knocking me dead mentally, and I didn't realize it until blood dripped along my temple.

Two opposites I thought would go great together only rebelled  when close.

Let both stay far apart, for neither were meant to be close, rather "symbolically paired".

(j.a.r.)

I'd like to say we acted like politicians, causing nuclear disasters filled with stares of disapproval, but we weren't.

Oceanographers couldn't complain any longer, I mean we were right by each other and still knew more about the things farthest from us.

To say the least, we were both covered in our own exoskeleton, staying safe from our only safety.

Every moment, every glance spun a web of anything but truth.

(j.a.r)

Her weapons of war are so carnal. Her smile flashes like the shimmer of swords. Her shape reaches out like a spear. Her battle cry like the look in her eye dares to raise the dead in me. But the beast is slain each morning, nailed to the cross I bare on my way the grave. And I am satisfied in the rising tide of strength that comes from not being my own that fills the vast beaches of my weakness and washes away every trace of her haunting footprints in the sand.

Loved so many times--
            should have learned my lesson.

Trusted my heart with my emotions--
                         its like I tortured myself.
To hurt,
       is to love.
            as pain,
                 is to living.

My heart,
       has taught me,
               lessons unlearned.

Drowning my emotions in a bottle of gin till I'm numb
Only to be resuscitated with oxygen breaking into my lungs
I'm on the ground grasping for air, my heart beats against my chest as loud as a drum
There is no sound except for my heart beat, at this moment I succumb

I set fire to the floor beneath me and I continue to lie down in the flames
Smoke surrounds me and I breath in as every part of me is drowned in pain  
I say good bye to this world and resolve at the bottom
Hoping this is the way I can solve my problems