Sun kissed skin
Honey brown eyes
This woman, I idolize
She is a wonderful surprise
Day in, day out
This angel,
Makes my heart beat out of my chest
She is nothing like the rest
Unique & sweet
Loving as can be
Like I said before, she is an angel I adore
In this world I could ask for nothing more
For her in my arms
My lucky charm
My other half, I may say
I cherish this woman every day
Intoxicating smile that catches you at hello
Her vibe keeps you feeling mellow
A kiss that sends chills down my body
A feeling I will always miss
A feeling that puts me at bliss
Her hugs so warm & safe
The sad world, is not so sad when she is in-front of me
In fact, the world absolutely disappears
Nor the good, the bad, or the in-between
Leaving two souls falling whole
Never wanting to let go
Hand in hand
Hearts in another
I fall for her everyday
Feeling like summer I may say
When her passionate side comes about
Almost every emotion I have screams out
****, yet lovely
Her intelligence is my key
A mind so beautiful, I am blessed to see
Fiery, fierce spirit
No other woman could even get near it
Determined to the bones
This woman feels like my home.

the grass is tall again,
and towering green, with Spring.

I never expected to fall in love with it;
but it became my lighthouse in the darkest times,
and the coldest seas. The most hidden of sanctuaries.

The earth is moving again,
and I can see every little person make some progress.

I never expected to fall in love with it;
but the people around me are like carrier birds,
transmitting my few happy thoughts to the world.
And I couldn't be more joyful, when
you became a doctor,
and you became an engineer,
and you became a real chef.

It all falls like an apple down to me, and I
wonder now, what will I become?

That is what gives me heartache,
that is what makes me feel alone, far more
than when I can't write, and I feel disposed.
They say an ocean sits beneath every thought.

So why aren't mine as well constructed as they were?
Thinking about it makes me uncomfortable, but-

I am barely seventeen and I am not the writer I used to be.
I coldly snap at everything I create, because it is never perfect,
and I am never perfect.
Nothing is ever perfect.

So I've adjusted lies to make them fit my story,
and I have become less honest in the past year.

I became so fed up with fame, and finding my way through the
commercial successes of myself, when I should have been trying to find my way to the lighthouse above the sea.  Because now I am lost in an increasing wind, and it only blows harder the more I resist.

do you see them?
       do you see my words?
do you?
          can you see?
                       say something
                                     look at my words
s
    a
y
                     s
                  o
                       m
                            e
                                t
                           h
                      i
                   n
                        g

Fingers dipped in purple powders
Fushia gold my makeup
Black skintight latex suit with neon circles
How my outfit is made up

Three rings around my waist
Intersecting, two vertical, one on the horizon
The circles glow with noble gases
Radioactive, after all, I'm an alien

Perfect spheres and concentric rings
Are trending, so I have read
I balance on stacked circles, my six inch latex heels
And floating circles surround the pair of buns on my head

My bones poke through my latex,
Anorexia won't stop my passions
I may not be the body type you want, but I'm the body type you have
And I still enjoy the fashions

the foundations we built without knowing
but
i cant let you in
theres things i need to say to you
but i cant
and i cant keep you out
so i wait

and we keep building
and we dance in silence
to the music
and let the world burn
from the fires of our silence

watched by the moonlight
the ashes are our scars
i just wanted to dance
in our usual trance

I saw your face today
for the first time in 2 years

the lights in my brain that spell out
your name lit for the first time in 1 year

so now I'm writing a poem
for the first time in 8 months

because your eyes reminded me
that love does not live within the construct of time

and the matches you left lie dormant
in my mind until your memory sparks the flame

and I lose all train of thought as I drift into
the hypnotic peace of warmth, crackle and flicker

until the sticks turn to ash and smoke
and I transport back to the cold and dark that is your absence

happy birthday
I hope you're happy

and thank you for every spark you lit in me
and for every spark you will light in me

every December 13th