how lucky they were to have had
The chance to be loved by you

And they walked away

But people can only love others
as deeply and as they love themselves

look how bravely
fiercely
you love others

what does that say about you?

it’s always been you

you are the love

I care about you

I can hear you now saying

“Don’t”

But you’re not coming back

and my care for you is all I have left

So I will do as I please

I am completely undone
by the vowels of his name
his words feel like
church
he laugh like
Sunday
his hurt is like water
and his strength is rain

He only knew pain
but preached resilience
the first time we touched
I swore it healed us

I never thought
being seen
could feel so vulnerable

The scars he holds
in his heart;
on his body
give me a high
I never thought
I would find

and he shows them to me willingly
he isn’t afraid of anything

But I am afraid of everything

I saw your face today
for the first time in 2 years

the lights in my brain that spell out
your name lit for the first time in 1 year

so now I'm writing a poem
for the first time in 8 months

because your eyes reminded me
that love does not live within the construct of time

and the matches you left lie dormant
in my mind until your memory sparks the flame

and I lose all train of thought as I drift into
the hypnotic peace of warmth, crackle and flicker

until the sticks turn to ash and smoke
and I transport back to the cold and dark that is your absence

happy birthday
I hope you're happy

and thank you for every spark you lit in me
and for every spark you will light in me

every December 13th

When my mother dies

I'll get a tattoo
not in memory of her
but in memory of her
hatred for tattoos

           I don't know

what the tattoo will be
I'll decide when I get to the parlor
what it is isn't the point
the point is

          how I'll live

will be up to me.
I'm not sure how I'll feel
but I do know I'll have the freedom
to chose who I'll be


          without her.

it's a lazy morning

light peak a boos with
cracks in the curtains
warmth seeps through the walls
every ray of sun kisses
every particle of earth

my senses react kindly
to a crisp salt breeze
that has dropped by
like an old friend i haven't seen
but certainly have missed


i watch the tide
waltzing with the sand
back and forth
give, take

i'm intruding on the intimacy
but i can't look away
the waves rock my mind
into a trance so deep
i have the most absurd thought

maybe, i am okay

i like informality

beer straight outta the bottle
pizza for breakfast
wearing a shirt 3 times
before washing it

doing dishes by hand
reading old birthday cards  
stayin up til 2
even though i have to be up at 8

bonfires
backroads
gettin lost on the way to a bonfire
because i took a backroad

going to a bar
on a tuesday night
and kissing a stranger
just because i'm drunk

and lonely
and through the years i've aquired a taste
for whiskey on lips.
And besides, isn't that

the only reason we're here anyway?