she is a doll of supple clay.
              with ample cheeks,
opened fresh like roses from their  dewy  buds,
f r e c k l e d  with the soil that fed them.
her eyes,
dormant
behind the   glossy sheen.
they are            blue pools      of
           motionless gin.
  parted slightly,
her lips are
full & ripe
with the   silence   that her beauty awards.
for all,
a doll cannot speak
   until the words are forced in her mouth.
she cannot live,
yet she is the                           centre                            of their attention.
the breaths her lungs release are cold kisses.
her body is an
                      empty vessel,
coated in lust and desire,
                                                                                                         after all,
that's what she was made for.
created to be played with.
a toy in high demand.
               a doll of supple clay.

i am holding an axe...

empty towers stand tall in snow
-
yet
still i climb ,
(each step) —

like
a toy upon a shelf
(i am freezing)/

when
you rip the stuffing out of
me
and try to sew me
shut ,

but the
wound is not healing
(it never will)

and
the walls get stained with nicotine::
(i miss when they were white)

when i come back to, i am lost -
scared
(because it is dark)
.

i
try to howl ,
gurgle instead:
and then
i start to weep-
(and my tears all freeze like little pearls) .
.

when i look for them again,
(those girls)

they have turned into
wolves
(i remember my axe)

and they look me in my eyes —
glimmering//

so
spit on me, again,
i say

i
dare you —
this time,
i am not afraid to bite.

(they do not come back for me)
.

She's not a broken toy,
Not some assignment to be fixed.
She's just her.
And there's nothing wrong
with just being
her.

-HIY

Oh mama oh mama
Feeding blood into my veins
Pouring water down my throat
Squeezing tears from my eyes.

Oh mama oh mama
Breathing air into my lungs
Freeing my blocked airway
Of the food that got stuck.

Spoonful spoonful
Sitting me up
Injecting saliva
And pumping my heart.

Mama oh mama
She is my clockwork
If she stops so will I
So wind me up agian

“I never wanted you and I never will, you *****!”
He calls her all these names but does he have anything to back it up? She never once went behind his back, and no matter how he treated her, she still loved him. That was all over when he crushed her world and sent her back to reality. Those words. Those loathsome words that cascaded from his mouth. She still has the nightmares. Nightmares that had her screaming for help. She can still feel the pain. Pain from the bruises and cuts he gave her. She tries to forget and move on but that seems impossible! Why did he do this to her?

“I love you.” Lair! His lies overwhelmed her, tricking her weak heart.
“I hate you!” She thought it was the truth but she knew she wasn’t fooling anybody.
“I want you.” No, he wants to control her, make her into his little doll.
“Leave me alone!” She says this over and over yet why does her heart keep denying it?
“I miss you.” No! He misses his obedient toy.
“Stop, that hurts!” He never listened to her. He just continued to beat her.

The memory of him will never go away, even if she wishes it away.

I never meant to hurt you;
But the temptation to play as if you were a puppet on a string was there.
I’m a monster
With a face of a flower but the smell of disgust that lingers under my intentions.
Don’t trust me;
I warned you and begged you to not fall for such a creature yet... here we are.
With a grin;
I’ll call you babe and say you’re perfect without a second thought.
And with a generic smile;
I’ll say I like someone else because the risk of love is far too high.
Move on to the next toy;
My growing collection of broken toys lay at my feet waiting to be fixed.
But I’m broken too;
Because we’re all toys in the beginning. I wish I could be fixed

You play your wicked games with me,
Why do you treat my heart like a toy?
It's beginning to feel like my
Pain is something you enjoy.