You always had a way to take the darkness and make it light;
Perhaps that’s why you had me shining so bright.
You saw me in all my darkness and saw the way I adored,
But this beauty was unlike anything you’ve seen before.
It was a gear slowly yet surely spinning out of control,
For I was a wildly flailing untamed soul.

You were a rose and I forgot you had thorns
So now I **** my thumb to numb the pain you bore.
You were light but you could not be contained;
Even through my clear skies, you still found my rain.

Soon you became a storm
And I still tried to climb around your thorns.
I didn’t care if there was blood pouring from my veins;
Hoping that your light would shine through and stop the rain.

You had a way around my darkness and I thought it to be your light,
Only it was your light that dwindled my flame that once burned so bright.
You were not a rose and I knew,
But I had hoped that you would still keep the day skies blue.
That was how you kept me from blooming in the storms;
I was the rose, but you were my thorns.

The lies choke me,
constricting my throat with their icy tentacles.
Vines riddled with thorns,
twist and scrape inside my airway.
Blood running down my trachea
pools in my lungs,
Each burbling breath
a disturbing reminder of the webs I've woven.

A rose is beautiful to behold
Its stem a pain to hold
Though easier to hold
Is a rose without thorns
Really a rose
Pristine and true?

Writing on The Walls
A bloodstained handprint
Are you alive to see this
Do your eyes pierce now?
Where the soul sees a mirror?
Oh God why cant they see
Why can't they see
The writing on the walls

Wed like to stay blind
But the rest wont last
Time to break a flatline
And wakeup from your bed

Pray now
You fall on your knees in grief
Do you see what you've been doing?
Do you see what you have left?
Another bloodstained hand print
The writings on the walls

Wed like to stay blind
But the rest wont last
Time to break a flatline
And wakeup from your bed

Press your face to the floor
Don't leave your posture
Don't move a muscle
Your eyes see it now don't they?
You can't hide
The Writings on the wall
The Writings on the wall
The Writings on the wall

The Writings...

Rose Without Thorns
You Are  Kissed
By The Sun
A Beautiful Flower
I Truly love.

Rosa senza spine
Si sono baciati
Dal sole
Un bel fiore
Amo veramente.


DLR
03/12/2016
TBC

Dopamine dreams
Scream escape.

Is it too late to confront and accept
The fears that have crept
Into this weeping mind?

I don't remember much of my childhood
Ignorance is blind
The adult doesn't mind
But my child self dreams of trauma
It's thorns burrowing in.
But where there are thorns
Roses can bloom
If I fight I can give happiness room to grow
For through knowing the lowest heartache
In the spectrum of pain
can the sunshine and rain
Nurture the roses of happiness and joy
Because the contrast will buoy the soul
and love dwells in the heart that has seen both joy and tears
and empathises both with people who know despair and joy
for there is truth in both sides
and their worlds sometimes collide.

"There is a lack of redamancy, you haven't let me open my mouth for at least a month. You had a lot to purge out, I guess. I want to tell you I love you, more than he ever will, I want to tell you I'm a part of you, more than he'll ever be. You are superlunary, I don't compare to you. But please remind yourself, I'm keeping you alive, though I am not God. But in a sense, I'm locking you here on Earth, I reside in your gut, I am the reason you're not giving up. All those plans and checked off to do lists, all those goals and visions...we make them just so we've got multiple anchors to make sure we do not sink. Every substance we use, every material, is a little helper: "you should stay alive because of this." Though my tendency is to hate, I have no hate to spill. Only admiration of how far you have come, of how much you have stripped me of any malice I contained. I came in hungry, ready to devour you, but you tamed my jaw with thorns you've watered for too long, and oh darling, I beg you to stay strong."

- Anti