A quick refreshing dip
You float with utmost buoyancy

But with repeated trip
And growing sense of poignancy

Panic takes it's hold
Logic must be strewn aside

Bravely plunge the bold
To sink before they've died

So choices made light
Can end up more deep

As those figured right
Make for much peaceful sleep

Either way gives rest
But no stories are told

By those thinking best
When they have gotten old

There comes a point  in your lives when all you want is to float, without a worry or care, to simply wade through the pools of the oceans, wishing for nothing -- only to drown.

It's called disclosure
Two negatives
I am opening
I am no longer closing myself
To me
Disclosure
Fighting and falling
Tredding only realize
I am merely moving my limbs
Fiercely under water
As I sink farther down
Deeper into the unknown
My last breath a memory
Attempting to keep each one
As they weigh my down
Yet I am stubborn
I am still
Closed
Crying inside
All the time
So much to hold onto
So much I choose to hide
Tears spilleing out my eyes
Escaping my inner pain
Becoming one with the water surrounding me
Drowning me
I am one negative deep
All I have to do is pick up the phone
Show up
And make it two
Open
I know what's what I need to do

I dove in head first--
didn't think about it
let the huge bubble
around me burst--
ignored the warning signs
of shallow water all around
not the least fearful
of landing on the ground
instead of the murky, watery sea--
but the ground came fast
and slammed right into me--
still I got my *** right back up again
and climbed that huge ladder
all determined to be the one to win
and jumped this time feet first--
and yep,
still made that bubble burst,
but this time I landed smack into the sea
and swam far, far away from here
seems it was finally my time to just be free!

I once had a home.
I once could live happily.
I was once whole.
In the blink of an eye, that was all changed.
I cry now.
I am blinded by my own thoughts now.
I am someone else now.
In the blink of an eye, I was ****** into a world where nothing matters.
I now swim through life, not caring.
It's funny how the word carefree is always used positively.
My head pounds with headaches.
I force myself to keep going, not knowing why,
wanting to give up.
People see me cry sometimes.
They wonder.
They try and help.
They try their hardest to be empathetic.
They are good people.
I may live a good life.
I may have it better than many people.
Forget may, I do have a great life.
But I can't seem to forget my sadness.

The outside is blue
And shaped like a bowl
Perhaps a tank
Perhaps the air I am breathing
Is water
I float in space
No, I swim

I am not a human being
I am a fish in a tank.


--Eleanor Rigby