It's called disclosure
Two negatives
I am opening
I am no longer closing myself
To me
Disclosure
Fighting and falling
Tredding only realize
I am merely moving my limbs
Fiercely under water
As I sink farther down
Deeper into the unknown
My last breath a memory
Attempting to keep each one
As they weigh my down
Yet I am stubborn
I am still
Closed
Crying inside
All the time
So much to hold onto
So much I choose to hide
Tears spilleing out my eyes
Escaping my inner pain
Becoming one with the water surrounding me
Drowning me
I am one negative deep
All I have to do is pick up the phone
Show up
And make it two
Open
I know what's what I need to do

I dove in head first--
didn't think about it
let the huge bubble
around me burst--
ignored the warning signs
of shallow water all around
not the least fearful
of landing on the ground
instead of the murky, watery sea--
but the ground came fast
and slammed right into me--
still I got my *** right back up again
and climbed that huge ladder
all determined to be the one to win
and jumped this time feet first--
and yep,
still made that bubble burst,
but this time I landed smack into the sea
and swam far, far away from here
seems it was finally my time to just be free!

I once had a home.
I once could live happily.
I was once whole.
In the blink of an eye, that was all changed.
I cry now.
I am blinded by my own thoughts now.
I am someone else now.
In the blink of an eye, I was ****** into a world where nothing matters.
I now swim through life, not caring.
It's funny how the word carefree is always used positively.
My head pounds with headaches.
I force myself to keep going, not knowing why,
wanting to give up.
People see me cry sometimes.
They wonder.
They try and help.
They try their hardest to be empathetic.
They are good people.
I may live a good life.
I may have it better than many people.
Forget may, I do have a great life.
But I can't seem to forget my sadness.

The outside is blue
And shaped like a bowl
Perhaps a tank
Perhaps the air I am breathing
Is water
I float in space
No, I swim

I am not a human being
I am a fish in a tank.


--Eleanor Rigby

your head is a very deep well
let me swim
let me drown

I came to the beach today because I've so much love to give.
I came because I've nothing else good to spend time with.
I came because it's healthier than getting drunk on ***** -
Better for your health than watching movies or the news.

I came to the beach to feel the breeze brush across my face,
To watch the foam fizzle and the memories erase.
I came to the beach today to feel completely free
To escape the many wrongs of life and all the tyranny:

To see the sea, you see, is just a free therapy session.
Unfortunately salt doesn't quite cure depression,
But what the hell's a cure going to do to change,
To change a world that's doomed to always stay deranged.

The beach is ever-cloudy and is always filled with stones.
It's cold to the point you cannot even start to feel your bones.
There are too many people to put my mask on to...
Too many people with stupid questions to ask you.

Girls in bikinis , having a swim, who clearly are psychotic,
While I'm just sat here watching, writing, and being neurotic.
I came to the beach today to try to help escape my pain
It didn't work but, hey, at least I did escape the rain.

I came to the beach today to try to look at life anew,
But really, I just came to the beach today because of you.

I will learn how to swim.
I will steady my breaths and relax my aching chest,
my hands cupping the water in a loving embrace.
The rough waves will not frighten me away,
I will view them as inviting to splash in.

I will learn how to ease my arms
and kick my legs through powerful torrents,
not stopping even when crashes of blue stake me,
even when the pain runs throbbing through my body.

I will learn how to conquer the storm
and be one with the fish,
unafraid and invincible
through the sharp broken shells,
swimming towards the light of the underneath corals.
I will pass ships with pride and be brave enough to close my eyes,
using the sea as my resting pillow.

I will learn how to swim.
And against the waves I will win.