and i knew from the moment your side was rested against mine, i would have a hard time letting go.
yet nothing prepared me for the unsettling feeling that greets me as i'm enveloped by materials i've yet to call my own and the lack of warmth and pulse admittedly feels stranger than usual and it's only been five days. it's literally only been five days
days which label themselves as weeks flutter past like pages  caught in the wind, like eyelashes blinking to the pace of your heart and the feeling remains, it remains better than an iodine stain on your neatly pressed blouse. it's probably stirring your contents page up too
the unsettling feeling of red umbrellas unsheathed in which they make it an ambition to contrast with the inconsistent hues of the sky
contrasting flashes of lightning against the pale sheet i'm told to call my skin. flesh i clothe my hollow bones in to prevent them from trembling with your thoughts that bring chills like the wind
rays of light dance at the edges of each outline my eyes are drawn to as they are drawn downwards like gravity grasping a waterfall
there are tan-lines of words in paragraphs you wish you knew how to forget, baby, we all have them.
can't place a name let alone a colour for you to fit amongst the colour wheel you dangle on your fingertips to create the things that you do, on the thoughts that jazz around to tunes i'm sure we've heard together at some point of time with varying surroundings
skys that stretch into the horizon with your name etched in the clouds









maybe i could have loved you more.

Look at your surroundings.
If you are surrounded by people that care for you
I have succeeded.

Listen to your surroundings.
If you hear "I love you's"
I have succeeded.

Feel your surroundings.
If you are comfortable with the life you're living
I have succeeded.

Look around once more.
If I have made you into something I thank God for everyday
**I have succeeded.

Thank you for allowing my soul to grow,
for watching over my mistakes,
for taking my hand to lead me on better paths.
Thank you for allowing me to see during the darkest of times.
Thank you for showing me strength
Proving to believe and trust in myself more often.
You encourage my courage,
Help steer me away from negativity,
Give me my choice in option to live clean and healthy,
To live my life.
Your guidance is a never ending learning,
Your lessons, teach me to stay whole.
Ask you shall receive, once received don't be greedy.
Never will I be greedy,
Never will I take you for granted.
Never will I abuse you, for I share my soul with you,
You are my inner being,
You are my universe,
Thank you, my universe.
Thank you.

There's a breeze flowing through my hair, so strong that it has the power to knock me back a couple of months
Back to a time when you still loved me- I meet your eyes again for the first time in awhile. You're laughing, throwing your head back, and dancing around. Singing to me, you say "look at the stars, look how they shine for you"
There's a breeze flowing through your hair, and I try my hardest to hold on to this moment with you for as long as I possibly can
But too bad for me, much like our memories, the breeze always ends up slowly withering away to something I can't feel anymore

My roots aren't here
They never were
I planted some crops
But they were imported
An ideal situation this land may be
To the adaptable, changing and innovative breeds
It is habitable to the natives and hybrids that are able to flourish
But me, my roots come from a different tree
They belong somewhere else
They always have
I can survive in new elements
But only with proper care and chemicals
The artificial adaptations eventually take their wear
And usually from the inside out
Without the natural nourishment I whither
So as thankful as I am for a land that harvested growth
It is essential to my survival that I find my proper home