The landlady pounds, one door left,
And my “Momma’s” chopping chives in the kitchen;
So I wince when
My black hat’s conquered wrought wool.

Right, and right out the window, the workers break,
And my “Uncle’s” feet crack, crack come the chemical grass;
So I concentrate when
My chopsticks carve pork.

“Up,” cries the baby, starved are the mice,
And my “sister” bids farewell to her soldier;
So I grasp when
My feet twitch to understand the cold, cold concrete.

Diesel cooks, so down goes the neighbor,
And the “Missus” smiles with our son atop lap;
So I admit when
I try to smile, I really do.

Herein lies the endurance, the rice paddies ancient,
And we’d all bliss ignorant, come the table we surround;
So I reconcile when
Again, I try to smile, I really do.

Shall I ever have a bad day
I remind myself of the way
the green of the trees compliments
the violet of the nighttime southern summer sky;

Shall I ever feel lesser
I remind myself of the way
my mother appears
as her eyes well with tears
of pride and joy;

Shall I ever experience a sense of emptiness
I remind myself of the sound
of my dad's laugh,
of the way my brother always gets
my references;

Shall I ever have a moment of doubt
I remind myself of the reverberations
that hollow your insides
when the guy you like kisses you for
the first time;

Shall I ever forget my purpose
I remind myself of the way it felt
when I saw my nanny's husband on my
graduation day;

Shall I ever doubt the future
I remind myself of
the way I moved on from
my deepest love;

Shall I ever feel weak
I remind myself of
my first days in D.C. as I
stumbled aimlessly through streets
with which I was unfamiliar;

Shall I ever be devoured by ambiguity
I remind myself of
the peace I have felt as I
watch the steady ripples of
the Ohio;

Shall I ever get lost
I remind myself of the
paths I have forged,
of the arms that
extend open;
I may seek resurrection mother nature
offers me
in the sand
I have felt in my toes,
of the grass that has tickled
my back,
of the sunsets that have moved
my soul,
in the water bodies that have sung
me to sleep;
I may be reborn in
the rifts of my
favorite songs,
in the quotes of
my favorite movies,
in the words of
timeless poems;
in the love the world extends
I shall never go without
comfort,
inspiration,
rejuvenation;
I shall never truly become lost
for the world always
finds me.

you know that feeling
when you're on the train
and you see other people
that you might recognize
and they might recognize
you
yeah, that feeling
when you get to see
what they truly look like
when they're in the public eye
and you are too
what do you do
when people stare
do you run
do you scream
or maybe you
take flight
or you fight
as they say
like the deer do
or don't
because that works too
they might look scared
but you might too
they might look angry
but you might too
they might come close
but you might too
they might come closer
but you might too
but they mustn't do that
and you mustn't either
because that would ruin
the entire atmosphere
and it doesn't work
when the glass
is broken
and finally
broken
through
the
barrier
of
not
being
friends

Rainbow sketchbooks and chocolate lay down,
on the wooden desk paid with broken cells.
The foundation *** which has lied to all the eyes,
hiding scars from my selfish life.

Money, shiny pennies from many, off of my father,
who will see my shine one day.
The drinks of cancer, which I force down,
hoping one day, they end my life as well.

The smell of lavender, purple flowers,
the spring is blooming my heart.
The stars are shining in shapes of torture,
the funny part of this joke is the truth.

Pillows, which are not made from luxury,
they are rather downfall when it comes to appearance.
Yet the softness, the cold textured feeling,
it warms my cheeks up with sweet medicine.

Lip gloss, I had once wore to attract a male,
who no longer cares for me in the fashion I wish.
Pink, red and blue… cream splatters all over my cheeks,
my eyes are green faded jewels lost in track.

Pictured life moments surround me,
her voice cuddled me to sleep,
when nobody would listen to my painful cries,
I once cried the tears of many hurtful lives.

and i knew from the moment your side was rested against mine, i would have a hard time letting go.
yet nothing prepared me for the unsettling feeling that greets me as i'm enveloped by materials i've yet to call my own and the lack of warmth and pulse admittedly feels stranger than usual and it's only been five days. it's literally only been five days
days which label themselves as weeks flutter past like pages  caught in the wind, like eyelashes blinking to the pace of your heart and the feeling remains, it remains better than an iodine stain on your neatly pressed blouse. it's probably stirring your contents page up too
the unsettling feeling of red umbrellas unsheathed in which they make it an ambition to contrast with the inconsistent hues of the sky
contrasting flashes of lightning against the pale sheet i'm told to call my skin. flesh i clothe my hollow bones in to prevent them from trembling with your thoughts that bring chills like the wind
rays of light dance at the edges of each outline my eyes are drawn to as they are drawn downwards like gravity grasping a waterfall
there are tan-lines of words in paragraphs you wish you knew how to forget, baby, we all have them.
can't place a name let alone a colour for you to fit amongst the colour wheel you dangle on your fingertips to create the things that you do, on the thoughts that jazz around to tunes i'm sure we've heard together at some point of time with varying surroundings
skys that stretch into the horizon with your name etched in the clouds









maybe i could have loved you more.

Look at your surroundings.
If you are surrounded by people that care for you
I have succeeded.

Listen to your surroundings.
If you hear "I love you's"
I have succeeded.

Feel your surroundings.
If you are comfortable with the life you're living
I have succeeded.

Look around once more.
If I have made you into something I thank God for everyday
**I have succeeded.

Thank you for allowing my soul to grow,
for watching over my mistakes,
for taking my hand to lead me on better paths.
Thank you for allowing me to see during the darkest of times.
Thank you for showing me strength
Proving to believe and trust in myself more often.
You encourage my courage,
Help steer me away from negativity,
Give me my choice in option to live clean and healthy,
To live my life.
Your guidance is a never ending learning,
Your lessons, teach me to stay whole.
Ask you shall receive, once received don't be greedy.
Never will I be greedy,
Never will I take you for granted.
Never will I abuse you, for I share my soul with you,
You are my inner being,
You are my universe,
Thank you, my universe.
Thank you.

There's a breeze flowing through my hair, so strong that it has the power to knock me back a couple of months
Back to a time when you still loved me- I meet your eyes again for the first time in awhile. You're laughing, throwing your head back, and dancing around. Singing to me, you say "look at the stars, look how they shine for you"
There's a breeze flowing through your hair, and I try my hardest to hold on to this moment with you for as long as I possibly can
But too bad for me, much like our memories, the breeze always ends up slowly withering away to something I can't feel anymore

My roots aren't here
They never were
I planted some crops
But they were imported
An ideal situation this land may be
To the adaptable, changing and innovative breeds
It is habitable to the natives and hybrids that are able to flourish
But me, my roots come from a different tree
They belong somewhere else
They always have
I can survive in new elements
But only with proper care and chemicals
The artificial adaptations eventually take their wear
And usually from the inside out
Without the natural nourishment I whither
So as thankful as I am for a land that harvested growth
It is essential to my survival that I find my proper home