Dancing.
I dance on the clouds sometimes.
There times I am buried deep.
Almost too deep.
Too deep.
I'm sofficiating!
I can't breeth!
The pressure everyone puts on me.
No mum it's not athsma.
It's anxioty.
Plastic wrap around my lungs.
Tighter.
I'm dead.
Only on the inside though.
Still alive, sorta, on the outside.

it is seven thirty-eight
after another redundant day
of not existing in anyone's eyes
and wandering the streets
with only my shadow walking beside me
and i am no good at existing
because i keep getting weighed down by this feeling
that everything which surrounds me
is just boring and lonely
i don't feel as if i am really living
i'm just passing these days without much hope
and with each i am seeing the end of this rope
i wish i wasn't a stranger
to everyone who i meet
all of these fleeting connections which none i can seem to keep
i don't understand how people have
people that love them, each and every day
through every good second and every bad minute
it's lonely when you reach home
tired, and encompassing yourself in cold blankets, alone
not any words to relieve to anyone
so i lay in this silence and try to breathe
because this loneliness is suffocating me and i am feeling all of my bones ache and creak
another day tomorrow - just to repeat?
why cannot i find anyone who will love me?

Stop trying to hold me still
I'm sure you mean well,
But your grip can ****.

Your voice is haunting me
How can I find my way
When you're holding so tightly?

"I felt so sad, I suffocate."*
— l.m

I don't know if there's something inside of me,
besides these bitterly sober words.
I'm falling faint, or am i just falling?
S H I T.
I have a lot of aspirations.
So much I need to do.
I need to be alive.
I need to breathe.
I need to feel normal.
I need...
A beginning to this ending feeling.

I’m screaming your name
but no noise comes out.
The air is suffocating
Walls are crashing down around me
I'm lost in this world
It's moving so fast.
Just Blurred lines
solid figures.
I need you to hear me

I'm so tired, so ******* tired
Of feeling trapped within these walls
Of this house that is supposed to be my home
Like in a box with no air holes, I am suffocating.
Looking at the same things, day in, day out
Nothing's changed, there's nothing new
Just the same walls that hold me prisoner
And if I could just leave, I would be gone
So far away from here, free at last
But, no, it's not that simple.
Though I wish it were as easy
As saying the words
"I'm leaving"

Estranged in summer rains'

       landscaped  dissolution

       evincing season's discontent

      neath sun's suffocating alienation;

used to rhyme with warmth

             and effulgent delectation,

   emotional realms fizzled in a

              heated  halfhearted sizzle

            of down-pour's restless manifestations

there is a boa constrictor
wrapped around my ribcage

there is an old story lodged in my windpipe
and i wish Heimlich had been a composer
so i could write it out without turning blue

i am lop-sided
but, alas
there is no one to lean on

it is heavy
(i must sit down)
where is the floor?

i long to talk to strangers
and keep my house clean
and run my hands across my husband's beard
just one more time

all i feel is a loss of circulation
my words won't reach higher than my chest
struggling to escape,
to wriggle through a sealed-off space

i cannot tell if it is my love reaching through my chest
or if it's....